Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

Happy New Year to all my faithful readers and a super Happy New Year to all the Windsor Tomcats, I love covering you guys and in my opinion it is the best sports beat to be on….eat my shorts Damien Cox of the Star, Steve Simmons of the Sun and Brooksie of the New York Post…..the Tomcats are where it is at.

My favourite memory of 2011, Razor singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Stevo in his Marilyn Munroe voice…very funny…..still waiting for someone to give approval of that video to be put on the Tomcat Web site…can you say “one million hits on youtube”?

Moving on the to Tomcat Skip Jacks game, what I am hearing is that the Tomcats have almost formalized their roster for the January 22 game against the Sandwich Town Skipjacks. Names I hear that are going are roughhouser, Doc, and the Tasmanian Devil Killer. Captaining the squad will be Sparky because Junior will not be in the line up. That means that assistant captain Hollywood will be going and management is giving Lovie an A for the game. Classy move by a classy organization. I am also hearing that the goaltenders attending the game will be the Falcon and Bearcat and that the Tomcats have decided to leave the Wiley veteran net minder Razor at home. Not sure who will get the start in net.

I am also hearing other notables not attending are May Day, Cribz, Stevo and Zaba.

Franchise player Sunny will be there along with his cousin Soupy. Goal scoring machine Hurricane is also going. Tomcats are pretty tight lipped about who else they are sending, but when I spoke to Hurricane he indicated, “We will need some goals that night, so there is no way they would be leaving me behind. I can’t comment on who else is going, but let me say this, there is no one else with my scoring abilities going except for maybe Sunny and Lovie”. a very humble Hurricane had said.

On Defense the only names I have heard as going so far are Rocky and the Rake.

Tomcats are not sending Junior or Crow to Sandwich Towne, but Lovie will be there wearing an A.

Game time is 7 p.m. at the Skip Jack Arena located at 4007 Sandwich Street in Sandwich Towne. January 22.

“We are very excited to be playing this game against the Tomcats”, stated an openly emotional Skippy, “The proceeds of the money collected will go to charity. It should be a great night of hockey and having this game played is just a tremendous, tremendous moment in my hockey career. I was too young to watch the 1972 Canada – USSR Series, with the likes of Ken Dryden and Tony Esposito and Brad Park, Don Awrey, Frank Mahovolich, Bobby Clarke and of course of Paul Henderson…all no doubt playing for the Tomcats and then the Sandwich Towne Skipjacks, with me, Tretiak, and Ragulin, Gusev, Kharlamov, Maltsev, Shardrin and of course Yakushev. If this works out well, maybe we can play this game, every four years like the Olympics or the world cup of soccer”, stated a crying Skippy.

CBC Sports will be covering the game.

The St. Felix is now out and available on this site for you to review. Stories about the Pizza Master and Spinner crack me up, even if I do say so myself.

Tomcat Fever is alive and well in 2012.

And hey, during the Skip Jacks game, maybe when you are not looking, I’ll put my Harry Ballsonue!

By Harry Ballsonue

Snowpants finally gets to meet his two boyhood heroes, the Legend and Rexy. "I grew up idolizing these guys," stated a beaming Snowpants.

Harry Palm Press:

What a great way to end the year at the Kapusta Kow Palace  with another mini tournament.  Odds makers had already predicted a huge turnout for the Tomcats players considering Management was providing FREE bevys afterwards.  The Tomcats needed the beverages of MGD (The official sponsor) to wash down the only gripe of the event, that being someone ordered vegetarian pizza.  The Turk was the most vocal in his dissatisfaction, equating eating the veggie pizza offering to performing unspeakable acts with animals.  BAAAAA!!!!!!

Mini tournament play was intense as always, and maybe it was the outstanding defences, goalies, or just plain Christmas spirit that lead to many a tie – both in the score cards and the teams themselves.  I may have to check deeper into the stats, but I think this is the first time a team took the whole thing with a 2 win 2 tie record – CRAZY.  Following in the footsteps of Xmas spirit, Tomcat management broke out some early presents for the players and fans in the guise of a very cool, limited edition winter Tomcat Touque. The full house of fans immediatly burst into “Tomcats forever” song, followed by “Stevo for president”.  Tomcats players were seen openly weeping after receiving the touques and also joined the chorus of “Tomcats forever”.

Even better, after having some gripes regarding the three star selections it was nice to see Falcon, a goalie no less take the first star selection.  After a stingy 2.0 G.A.A, which was exactly half of the other netmiders (Razor and Skippy’s G.A.A – 4.6 and 4.0 respectively), he was long overdue.

In terms of more early Christmas gifts, it has just been confirmed the Tomcats will play the Sandwich Skipjacks January 22nd, 2012 in a match aimed at raising funds for charity.  CEO for Tomcats management Stevo indicated, “I wasn’t sure at first about playing another group, but they’re Skippy’s group, and the money raised will go towards the Special Olympics.  Of course I made sure the Skipjacks weren’t playing in the Special Olympics themselves, cause we are looking forward to a really tightly contested game”.  Having the undertone of raising funds for charity it is also hoped all players will simply come out for nothing more than the love of the game and comradery, followed of course by drinking.

Lastly, as the Tomcats do not return to the Kapusta Kow Palace until January 10th – The Skipjacks have indicated they are back at it Sunday January 8th.  As a result Skippy has sent out a reminder to all Tomcats they are free to join, and perhapse check out that new stick Santa brought, or the new moves learned from the DVD “Sunny  dekes out the defense and goalie again”.  Either way as I was leaving the parking lot I overheard Falcon consoling Skippy on another mini tournament loss – “Don’t sweat it, we all have games like this”, to which Skippy replied, “Thanks Falcon,  put Yuri HANDONMECAC”.

Yuri – HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY BITCHES!!!

By Harry Ballsonue

Killer Coyotes :  Lovie, Spinner, Junior, Hurricane, Hollywood, Mez, Falcon and Killer
Doc Bruins: Crow, Rocky, Shamus, Razor, Soupy, Sparky, Snowpants and Rake
Zschabba Bandits: Sunny, Stevo, Cribz, Chevy, Bulldog, May Day, Yuri, Skippy and Zschabba

Rex Brennen, the famous #4 wearing original Captain of the Tomcats, showed up to drop the first puck.

When I say, ‘what a night’, I mean, WHAT A NIGHT. Intense, fun and as always, some great hockey with a great, great bunch of guys. I watch with anticipation as the first three games were played…can you say, ‘as tight as a virgin’? The first three games, were 1-1. 3-3 and 4-4. The fourth game, finally the Killer Coyotes beat the Bruins 2 to 1….oh, another tight game! 

“When I first saw the teams, I thought, oh-oh, we don’t seem to have what the Black Bandits have, but we did great, goaltending wins championships, and we had outstanding goaltending, hell, the Falcon was the first star tonight”. stated Lovie.

“Fantastic night tonight, we had the goaltending, we had he scoring we had the defence, Razor I thought was fantastic, we just could not put it in the net”. Stated Captain Doc.

“We did our best, I thought we really created a lot of chances and our D pinched in too, we tried, we came back from being down 3 goals and had a four to three lead, but then ended up with a 4-4 tie”. stated Zschabba.

The Killer Coyotes ended up winning the last night of Mini Tournaments for the 2011 year and ended up going with 2 wins and 2 ties, and being a plus four. The Zschabba Bandits, finished tied for second, barely, with a 0-1 3 record and were minus 3. The Bruins, went 0-1 and 3 as well, and ended up finished minus three as well.  

The three star selection, as selected by LaBamba, 3)Hollywood, 2) Soupy 1) Falcon

A mention, should be made on the Hurricane, who scored 4 of the ten goals that the Killer Coyotes scored, quite amazing for a guy that they call ‘the Mist’.

There was a Tomcat Christmas Party and there was ‘an incident’. “Who ordered a veggie pizza”, stated a very upset Turk, “I hate pulling the seniority card, but I am taking over as the minister of pizza, thats it, I’m fed up,” The Turk Concluded. Youngblood did what he thought was right, in this tree hugging world, but he might be relieved of his ‘Minister of Pizza’ Duties today.

“Never mind no more artichoke, fru fru F*&^% pizza, from now on, we will have manly pizza. I am taking over” indicated the Turk, to a cheer at the Christmas Party.

So that closes the 2011 part of the Tomcat season, trip the light fantastic. Each Tomcat was provided with a handsome touque.

As for the game against the Sandwich Towne Skip Jacks, to be played on January 22, 2012, that is a go and that game will be played.  It is my understanding, that Stevo will be sending out an email to everyone, to see who would be interested in playing in that game.  Stevo was about to, but declined to make a comment until the email was sent and that he had something concrete to talk about.

And as you shut the Christmas tree lights, off,  I can be beside you with my Harry Ballsonue.

http://deadspin.com/5868584/how-a-senior-league-hockey-fight-ended-with-one-player-pooping-in-an-opponents-glove

Harry Palm Press

Poor Skippy, another mini tournament and another disappointing 0-4-0 finish, the last being sustained November 15th – -which set the first Tomcat record for a team going 0-4-0.  Now Skippy has the distinction of being the only goalie to be shut out twice in two seperate tourney’s – no wonder one may think he hates the tournaments.  On paper the teams lined up and were drafted as follows:

Shovey White Chevies Chevy, Sunny, Falcon, Soupy, Yuri, Jingles and Hollywood
Shamus Sharks Shamus, Rocky, Stevo, Razor, Sparky, LaBamba, Hurricane
Spinner Stampedes Junior, Lovie, May Day, Cribz, Snowpants and Skippy

When the final whistle blew it was Team Chevy taking home the prize.  Stats on the night were as follows:

Chevy:3-0-1, with 7 points and a plus 5.  Falcon was a steller 1.5G.A.A.
Shamus: 2-1-1 with 5 points and a plus 2.  Razor was also amazing at 2.00 G.A.A
Spinner: 0-4-0 with no points and a minus 7.  Skippy was a respectable 3.00 G.A.A

Harry BALLSONUE already captured a great quote from Lovie, who wound up on the 0-4-0 Stampedes:

“It was a quick pace out there tonight and I thought a little bit chippy”, stated Lovie, “our team played well, but did not seem to gel.  We ended up minus 7 and I don’t quite know where to point the finger, and I don’t want to, but we could not put the ball in the net” Lovie had said.

“Not put the ball in the net” – anything else couldn’t have been farther from the truth as the Stampeders were only able to score 5 times in 4 games.  Captain Spinner had little to offer in terms of what went amiss with his picks, “Hey all I know is we played hard, and we all know when the ball is dead – cause I can show the ref what a live ball is that’s supposed to be dead”.   Umm, ok Spinner – at least it was good to see Spinner still had that fiery grit and determination post game as well.  Team mate Cribz was later overheard telling Skippy after the game, “You were a little off tonight, but still made some huge saves.”

Skippy was unusually at a loss for words when spoken to by media, “What can I say with these mini tournaments I have not fared very well going 2-16-3 with a 5 G.A.A.  My G.A.A looks high, yet I’ve had many a tournament night with 2.75G.A.A.  Teams have been battling real hard and Razor plus Falcon have been rock solid as usual in each tournament.  Just look at the goalies stats overall with the tournaments, which is why I still don’t get how as a group we aren’t getting the star selection.  Falcon goes 1.5 G.A.A tonight with another shut out, but gets shut out of the 3 star choice – crazy.”

3 stars wound up being:

Hollywood, Sparky and Hann

Tomcats figured Hann had to get a star, not just for his great play, but also because it was his birthday.  Stevo commented that “A star was better than the boys paddling his ass with their sticks counting off the years he’s been around.”

When I looked over I saw Hann quietly enjoying his MGD (Official beer sponsor of the Tomcats) in one hand, while the other HANDZONMECAC.

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

Shovey White Chevies Chevy, Sunny, Falcon, Soupy, Yuri, Jingles and Hollywood
Shamus Sharks Shamus, Rocky, Stevo, Razor, Sparky, LaBamba, Hurricane
Spinner Stampedes Junior, Lovie, May Day, Cribz, Snowpants and Skippy

Chevy:3-0-1, with 7 points and a plus 5
Shamus: 2-1-1 with 5 points and a plus 2
Spinner: 0-4-0 with no points and a minus 7

Fierce hockey at the Kapusta Kow Palace December 13…fitting as it was Hurricane’s birthday and the day before, no one other than Chevy’s birthday. “It was a quick pace out there tonight and I thought a little bit chippy”, stated Lovie, “our team played well, but did not seem to gel.  We ended up minus 7 and I don’t quite know where to point the finger, and I don’t want to, but we could not put the ball in the net” Lovie had said.

Winning Captain Chevy was quite happy, “Man, when we were down, 3-1  to the Sharks and came back with 4 unanswered goals to win, wow, I had a smile ear to ear, what a great birthday present”. Chevy had said.

Shamus: “we had a great Mini tournament and were right in there, we needed the Spinner Stampedes to beat Chevy’s team, but you can’t have other teams determine your fate, we should have played better in that game to Chevy’s team,  when we lost  but we still had fun ….and really, that is the most important thing”.

Even rubbing the belly of the buddha could not bring enough luck to allow Shamus' team to defeat Chevy's

Three star selection as selected by LaBamba; 3) Hurricane 2) Sparky 1) Hollywood

“I thought Hollywood had an outstanding night out there” indicated birthday boy Hurricane.

 “Sparky had a fantastic night out there on defence” stated Stevo.

Sparky who got 2nd star, did a super fantastic job filling the cooler with ice. “every beer had Ice on it”, stated Hollywood, “you can tell he is a pro at it and knows what he is doing when it comes to loading a case of beer with ice, it’s great to see”. Hollywood concluded.

Shamus ran the draft and was named as the Director of Drafts. “It is my responsibility to make sure the Mini drafts go well, I’m honoured to hold this title, I will not let anyone down, to be given this job, just means the world to me, I can’t tell you how proud my family is of me today”. Shamus had said, weeping openly.

Tomcats are also discussing if they should play the Sandwich Towne Skip Jacks on January 22. 2012. “I think it is going to happen, I just think final details need to be worked out” stated Sunny. 

“I will sit down with the advisory board and talk to them, Skippy has given us some lee way, I don’t want to control the whole thing, as it is his Sunday night, but he is a great guy and I think wants to see this game be played” stated Stevo.  Some of the provisions are thought to be, Tomcats would wear black, the ‘water ball’ would not be used, and that the money collected to play would not be a ‘winner dictate the charity’ , Skippy would use the money to the charity he wanted to give the money to. It was thought that if the teams played for money, then it could get ugly on the drill hall.

There will be more information on the travel game over the Christmas holidays.

Christmas Party next week, Beer, Rye and Pizza…cost you $10 for Pizza. And much, much more!

During the Christmas Party sometime, when you go to the washroom down stairs, I’ll put my Harry Ballsonue.

by Harry Ballsonue

Lovieville Flyers: Lovie, Stevo, Shamus, Yuri, Razor, Youngblood and the Raker
Soupy’s White Virgins: Soupy, Snowpants, Hollywood, Sparky, Hurricane, Mez and the Danish
Husky Eye Yellow Hawks: Spinner, Rocky, Junior, May Day, Falcon and Doc.

Lovieville Flyers finished with a 3-0 -1 record, securing 7 points and going a plus 7. The Yellow Hawks, finished  1-2-1 with 3 points and were a plus 1.  The White Virgins, named after Soupy, who selected a team for the very first time, went 1-3-0, ended up with 2 points and were a minus 8.

“I really liked our team and I thought we showed grit and determination in a lot of the games, I am very proud of the team I selected tonight”, indicated Lovie.

“It was a first time for me and I got to say, I was nervous, anxious and totally aware of what I needed to do, but we fell short tonight, I just hope I get to be a Captain again this year” stated Soupy.

“I am very proud of my cousin, he accepted the task and went about it as best as he could…it was his team and he had a great deal of pride in it. My team on the other hand, we stormed through well and my guys did the best they could, the wins, the losses, the ties…it really means nothing in the end cuz really all you want to do is have a laugh or two after on stage”, stated Sunny.

In watching the hockey, I thought the play was fierce. It may have been one of the quickest games of the season.  In watching the Lovieville Flyers tie with the Husky Eye Yellow Hawks, you could see that no one team wanted to make a mistake out there. Doc, scored the only goal for the Hawks and Shamus for the Lovieville Flyers.

Hurricane was scoreless tonight. “No Chevy there for me to show off to, did not seem the same”, indicated Hurricane.

The Star Selection as selected by LaBamba: 3) Sparky, 2) Yuri 1) Razor. Interesting selections, of D-man and a goalie, when you had some good goal scoring out there. 

A big solid, by May Day, brining 12 Canadian tall boy, ‘just because’. Tomcats love having him back, “I love the fact that he is back playing with us, I think he is enjoying it too, he’s a great guy and the Tomcats are lucky to have him back in the fold” stated Hollywood. 

Cribz was announced as the new Director of Officiating and accepted two new whistles. “It is truly a great honour to be part of this fantastic organization and to be bestowed this dubious honour of Director of Officiating, well, words cannot explain the jubilation that I am feeling tonight” Cribz had said.

The new Tomcat Director of Officiating proudly shows off his new wistle.

Tomcats are also looking at adding a Director job to Shamus, as he will be the head draft person for the drafts each week. He has been milling around the white board for two weeks and has done a good job.

Doc on the other hand, dropped the ball, not filling the case of beer with ice properly. Youngblood had to be sent out to get more ice to load ice on top of the beer. “It’s sad, really”, indicated Sparky, “I trained him, nurtured him watched him grow as an ice man and then he drops the ball like that.  It is probably the most important job of all jobs on a Tuesday night and for him to load it like that, a shame.  I hope he has learned his lesson and will do better next week” concluded Sparky.

In real tournament news, the draft order has been completed and the May Day Marauders have first over all pick, then Yuri Met’s with the third and the Stevo Sting Rays have fourth. Rocky holds his second over all pick from a year ago.

Colours will be Marauders, red, Met’s Dark Blue, Rocky Yellow and Stingrays White. May Day is A, Yuri is Team B, Stingrays are Team C and Rocky is Team D. Draft goes January 31, 2012.

When the draft is going on and all the Captains are sitting at their table in the middle of the Kapusta Kow Floor, I plan to put my Harry Ballsonue.

by The Falcon

As much as I don’t like the coach of the Leafs, he makes some valid points.  Tomcats should feel the same way 😉

Since the National Hockey League ruled there will be no suspension to Boston Bruins forward Milan Lucic for his hit that left Buffalo Sabres goalie Ryan Miller with a concussion during the game between the two teams November 12, 2011, Toronto Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson of Windsor wonders what action the league will take going forward in order to safeguard its goaltenders.

“That was a pretty hard hit Millsy took there,” Wilson said, “and it will be interesting to see what direction the league is going to go in, because there’s no white paper out there to describe the kind of injury or hit with regards to goaltenders, because if it was a defenceman, you’d say it was a clean hit.

“However, a goaltender’s more or less defenceless in those situations. They’re not wearing the same equipment, they’re not built to absorb a 250-pound freight train running you over. That’s the debate I think is going to go on over the next couple of days.  Should we be protecting goaltenders?”

The Leafs have recently been without No. 1 goalie James Reimer since he suffered a head injury after a couple of goalmouth collisions with Montreal Canadiens forwards during an Oct. 22 game.

“Obviously, we’ve had a goalie – I wouldn’t ever say what Brian Gionta did with Reims was deliberate – but he got hit really hard, and I’ve seen a lot of goalies get hit real hard this year. Remember, Reims got hit on that play, and two minutes later got run over by Travis Moen on a goal when he hit his head on the crossbar, so we’ve got to find a way to protect the most valuable asset on any team, the goalie. It’s not unlike the NFL and the rules they have protecting quarterbacks.”

by Harry Ballsonue

Jaguars : Doc, Soupy, Razor, Sparky, Shamus, Sunny and Junior
Rockets: Rake, Jingles, Falcon, May Day, Stevo, Spinner and Rocky
War Pigs: Mez, Danish, Hollywood, Hurricane, Chevy, Lovie and Cribz

Junior wins his 5th mini tournament, tying him with Stevo.  Doc wins his third, scoring a big goal at the end of the game vs. the Rockets. “I am a super fantasy team sports guy and I know how to pick them, let me tell you, I am the best. Really, there is no better.” Spouted Junior.

“I know I have said this before, but, on paper, my team, was the team to beat, we had it all, not sure what happened”, indicated Cribz.

3 star selection, as selected by LaBamba, 3) Rocky, 2) Razor and the first star, 1) Sunny.

“Sunny had a great game out there, he dangled, he mangled, he shot, he passed, he did it all”, stated Lovie.

“Razor allowed only 4 Goals in 4 games, that is a 1.00 goals against average, what do you think about that Zippy” stated Hollywood, who is still not talking to his brother Stevo.

Youngblood came out, but took the pre game skate and did not play, but he reffed, and did a fantastic job.

Youngblood returned after many months off with a groin injury to join in the pre-game skate with the boys. "It's weird, my groin surprisingly always feels great when I am surrounded by Tomcats," Youngblood was heard saying.

And speaking of ‘returns’, Rock em Sock em Mez made his season debut and did not disappoint the fans, notching a goal and a couple of helpers. Welcome back Mez.

Doc did a great job on the cooler, loading up the ice, and from what we could see, all the beers were icy cold.

St. Felix comes out today and should be already blogged into the web site for all to enjoy. Razor and May Day get thanks for contributing, with page 2 and page 3. Enjoy! Let Stevo know if you are in for the tournament.  He needs to start compiling a list. Tomcats need to know, if any outsiders need to be brought in and need to be show cased.

Last year, the Tuesday night Tomcats had 6 mini tournament all year, they just finished their eight on November 29……wow!

Stevo brought his 24 fine case, due to poor sportsmanship. “I hope my brother had one of the Brava Lights and will talk to me soon”. Stated Stevo weeping openly.

Next week Captains will be, Sunny, Lovie and Soupy.

Goalies for next week, Razor, Falcon and the Danish.

Make sure you check out the St. Felix after reading this blog.

And on the weekend, check out, “What the Tomcats Know” for all the latest and greatest insights for the Tuesday to come.

And speaking of come, let me put my Harry Ballsonue and let’s see what happens

Click here to read the latest Saint Felix.