June 29, 2017
The Gordon’s Gin Golf League continued play this past Tuesday at Belle View. The day was marred with a labour disruption as star Players Sea Lion and the Bundura refused to play and were seen picketing outside the gates of the Belle View Golf and Country Club.
Commissioner Mayday jumped into action and immediately called up Soupy and Sparky from the Woodland Hills Par 3 Triple Bogie Tour. “This is a very unfortunate situation we hope to have resolved over the Canada Day Weekend”, said Mayday.
Bundura and Sea Lion are rumoured to have hired agent Alan Wolfson who is known to bring toxicity and destruction to any organization he has ever dealt with. Sources say money and profit sharing are at the center of the dispute.
Soupy, who hit a 350 yard tee shot on number two bounced off a tree and on to the green was impressive playing in his first outing on the major circuit. “It has always been my dream to qualify for the Gordon’s Gin Golf League. I hope to get another call real soon. Anyway, I am glad I finally lost my Belle View virginity. Just add that to the list of cherries I’ve popped”, said Soupy. One reporter named the tree Soupy hit, Soupy’s Tree.
Sparky, who was also making his Gordon’s Tour debut seemed to have been irritated by all the attention Soupy was getting by reporters and fans. “The guy has played two holes and already has a tree named after him”, said Sparky shaking his head.
Asked about his call up to the major tour Sparky said tearfully, “to be called up at almost 60 years old at this point in my career is amazing I didn’t think I would ever pull my driver out again. It was sure nice to see my ball running on the fairway turf like a diseased dick”.
“They were even playing “Hang on Soupy” in the club house after”, said Stevo. EDITORS NOTE. THIS PART OF THE STORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE.
Scores for the week were Soupy 68, Sparky 69, Stevo 70 and Mayday 72.
Play is interrupted next week as Stevo is away on a celebrity skins game in Carolina while Mayday is in Ottawa receiving the Order of Canada for his contribution to golf in Belle River.
Negotiations continue with the Bundura and Sea Lion. Mayday hopes they are back on tour real soon. “I am confident a deal can be worked out”, said Mayday. “I was not sure we would actually get the round in. Sparky was delayed getting in by the picket line”.