Enjoy the Holidays but be ready to faceoff again JANUARY 18, 2011 – the first night back.
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All posts for the month December, 2010
…..by Harry Ballsanoue
The Tomcats have had a great year. Tournament saw the Polka Kings win the Championship in overtime, the first ever overtime in tournament play. Johnny ‘Husky Eyes’ Salaris, scores 3 minutes and 58 seconds in, to give team orange, the Polka Kings the win. A nicer guy could not have scored that goal.
Then came the end of the season, and extra week was played and a huge turnout showed up. This whole Windsor Tomcat Hockey thing is really catching on. The Bulldog’s outdoor game. Long sleeve shirts in black and white for both teams.
Golf outing at Seven Lakes in June, the weather was perfect, like all Tomcat events.
September comes and 5 new Tomcats signed up, (Shamus, Crow, Doc, Soupy and Skippy) Once again, this whole Tomcat Hockey thing is really catching on.
Huge turnouts each Tuesday, with only one week, where the Tuesday hockey only had one spare on one side and 2 on the other. The rest of the weeks, 3 and two spares…with the last few weeks, 4 and five spares, and then 5 and 5 spares on the last night of hockey.
Have you seen the really cool ‘Tomcats Forever’ bracelet. Whoa!
I love the Tomcats, the four goalies, are all great guys; Razor, Falcon, Skippy and Bearcat.
The defenders play hard, the Rake back from injury, brings 12 beers and then has his own beer week the week after, Sparky, Rocky, Cribz, Yuri, Hollywood and Doc Brewin. Of course Junior would be there, if his lower body injury was not keeping him out.
And so would Darek Kowalczykowski, if he had not had knee surgery. Do you not think, Zschabba would not love to defend his Polka King title come February 26?
Then you have the Tomcat goal scores. Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Youngblood, Jingles, Husky Eyes, Lovie, Shamus, Soupy, Crow, Killer, Snowpants and Hurricane Hann.
Even the Farm Call ups are great guys, La Bamba Vlaminck, brings beer, scores goals and makes some great plays….the Tomcats seem to have it going on.
So I raise a class of Champagne to you the Tomcats, thanks for being the guys you are and the greatest job in hockey is covering the Windsor Tomcats!
Oh, where is your shiny little forehead, I want to put my Harry Ballsonue.
By Heywood Jewblowmee
As I watched the games, from high above the rafters of the Kapusta Kow, I noticed a high spirited affair. I noticed that Dave Crawford controls the play when he is out there, what a fantastic player. Tomcats were lucky to snag Crawford on a ten year 100 million dollar deal, unlike New Jersey with the Kovalchuk signing.
I also noticed Stevo Jaworiwsky salivates when he is out there with Crawford and Crawford has the ball. The two of them are neighbours and either spent a great deal of time playing road hockey in their drive way practicing or both are gifted hockey players.
I noticed Lovie has a great shot. He used it to settle the score last night in a 5 to 4 victory for his Hellcats. I also noticed he took out a 75 year old spider web way up high in a rafters, when he tried to put the ball in the top corner, he winged it so high that lucky the roof was on the Kapusta Kow, if not, it would have caused an atmospheric problem.
Killer cracks me up, he is wack, wack, wack, but I tell you, he scores some goals.
Poor Louis Koenigsberger, the Rake went down like a sack of potatoes, when he got a ball on the family jewels. I asked him later, in the parking lot, if he was wearing a cup. “Ahh, no”, he said, and then added, “I normally do, but tonight, I let the boys roam free, bamo…not too smart on my part”.
Shamus, with his Ghost Crossing shirt, popped a few, he seems to be steam rolling along, and no doubt the Tournament Captains are paying close attention, one Captain, who did not want to be mentioned told me, “When he was scoring those goals, wearing a collared shirt, I thought, great if I want him, I will have to get collared shirts, but now that he is scoring with a regular tee, I will consider snapping him up, I just hope he is around in the fourth round”.
Although Razor, played a fantastic game, he cannot be faulted on the winner, where he was screened by Stevo. I spoke to Snowpants after, in the parking lot, and Snowball told me that Razor had organized ‘Tomcat wristbands’ for the boys, so he was happy with that and had put the loss behind him.
Is it me, or is Dave Hann missing a step or two? It really seems the Hurricane is now a Mist.
Andy ‘Doc’ Brewin, all alone (12 times) in front of the net, could not put one in. He is Phil Kessel and Tyler Bozak….watch Leafs will select him in the second round in this years draft.
Youngblood scored an Ovechkin type goal, in the fourth game and then did a superb job ordering pizza from Fuzzy’s Pizza….I got to have a nibble of the pizza as one of the Tomcats snuck it out to me and I can say it was delicious.
I am now off for the Christmas Holidays and the Tomcats do not play till January 18, so I will talk to you next year.
Fat bottom girls, dressed in skimpy red panties and bras, with a Santa hat, really do make the rock and roll world go round. For Christmas, under the mistletoe Heywood Jewblowmee.
by Harry Ballsonue
Team Black Cats; Razor, Sparky, Youngblood, Stevo, Hollywood, Spinner, Crow, Doc, Rocky and the Turk
Team Hellcats; Falcon, Skippy, Lovie, Cribz, Shamus, Snowpants, Hurricane, Killer, Bulldog (yes Bulldog) and the Rake
Kapusta Kow Palace/Tomcat Club -AP- Oh what a night. Hellcats take it, 7-5, 4-7, 5-4. Passes, nice shots, intense play and Louis the Rake goes down for the count as he gets hit on the Kiwi’s. “It’s never funny when it is you, but when you see someone else drop like that, you can’t help to laugh”, indicated Sparky Renaud.
The goalies both held their own with stellar play on both sides. The overtime winner came on a give away by Steven Jaworiwsky, who up until that time, was having a stellar night, he tried to feather a shot, for a deflection for Spinner Dzibela, but the ball was intercepted by Lovie and he snapped one, on Razor’s blocker side for the win.
Tomcat’s all were then ushered into the Tomcat Club for a private party where the brand new “Tomcat Forever’ wrist band was unveiled. Every Tomcat member got three on the night.
“What a cool thing”, indicated Rocky Comartin.
Pizza was supplied by Fuzzy’s Pizza, and the Fuzzanator himself came out and had a beer with the Tomcats.
Alumni member, Bobby Skoretz was on hand and signed about 1,000 autographs to youngsters and oldsters alike.
It is great being a Tomcat!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a happy Tomcat night.
Hockey returns, January 18. Watch for February issue of the St. Felix first week in January.
When I see you again, I plan to find your forehead and put my Harry Ballsonue.
From the desk of Rocky:
(Article by Yuri HANZONMECACAK – Warsaw assoc press)
Tomcat fans have I got fantastic news for you, a confidential source indicated they recently overheard a private meeting with the Tomcat Commissioner and an unidentified party. According to the source ticket holders to the Tuesday December 21st game (The last game of the regular 2010 Season) will indeed get to see a mini tournament with three teams competing.
The source further indicated that due to the large number of Tomcat players attending, the commisssioner decided to split the players (Based on skill level to keep the games as even as possible), into three teams, who will then face off against one another. All the source knew for certain is the three goalies, who will be Razor, Eagle, and Skippy. Good news for Skippy the alternate, whom also heard of the leaked tournament and indicated he was hoping to have a better game than the previous week, and prove he is capable of playing in the elite league with the Tomcats.
Current odds makers (Not having access to the remainder of the team players) have already placed betting at 3-1 for Eagle taking the mini tourny, 2-1 for razor, and 10-1 for Skippy.
Apparently the half time show may consist of Snowpants, Stevo the Commiss, and other Tomcat celebrities performing their favourite Christmas karaoke songs for the fans. Make no mistake, this foreign reporter is going to do what it takes to cover this game…..
Until I use my forged media credentials again, Yuri HANZONMECACAK
Players Signed Up: (in the order the signed up)
Paul Poisson, Louis Koenigsberger, Chad Comartin, Gerald Finnerty, Dave Hann, Mike Edgar, Anthony Meloche, Dave Dzibela, Victor Ferranti, Steven Jaworiwsky, Ray MacDonnell, Shane Renaud, Dean Meloche, Mike Menzel, Nick Lelyk, Dave Crawford, Andy Morgan, Kevin Kuprowski, Michael Jaworiwsky, Paul Renaud, Josh Goldstein, Mark Jennings, Stephan Szcewczuk, Ken Cribley, Andy Brewin, Dean Colasanti, George Metulynsky, Johnny Salaris, and Dan Mesman. (29 players to this point)
Players Still to Sign Up:
John Salaris (now signed up), Sammy Salaris, Chris Girard, Vince Vlaminck and Peter White.
How it may play out:
If J. Salaris,S. Salaris, Girard, Vlaminck and White sign up, that will give us a total of 32 players and each team 3 spares aside.
If we cannot get 32 players, and only 30 players, then we will need to seek out two new players…..
Names need to be in by January 10, 2011.
Draft goes February 1, 2011.
These are indeed exciting times for the Tomcats.
And as a ‘for instance’, if we get only Sammy and John Salaris to sign up, and if Chris Girard is not interested in playing, then I am willing to step down as a player, that would then give us 28 players, and two spares aside. It would also mean that La Bamba would not be able to play……
Tomcats Forever!
Stevo Jaworiwsky,
ARTICLE BY Yuri HANZONMECACK:
TOMCAT HISTORY (Warsaw assoc press): I finally was able to sneak by Security and catch another TOMCAT game, having had to sneak in as Tomcat management had blacked out the feed to local TV stations. A historic night all right with Razor netting what I will refer to as a OFFICIAL shutout, taking nothing away from a recent 4-0 shutout by the Falcon – who insiders insisted was suffering from a undisclosed lower joint injury – However, Tomcats always play to 7 goals, and that makes the Razors an official shutout. Watching Razor play, it was hard not to feel sorry for the Black Cats, which included a rare appearance in net by Skippy. His appearances may become about as non existent as the departed do-do bird, dropping all three contest 7-3, 7-0, and 7-2. It seemed after the second game shutout the Blackcats just were never able to recover – nor was their goaltending. I tried to catch up with Stevo, the Commissioner after the game, but he fled the building very quickly after muttering – No comment. Inside sources speculated he was simply too depressed with the evenings events. Other sources also indicated next weeks year end game could include a mini-tournament, with Skippy receiving another shot at redeaming himself. Speculation is the mini-tournament hinges on the number of players attending. Tomcat fans can only hope to catch a glimpse of what the 2011 Tournament will look like, with a sneak peek at some of the newer Tomcats, and how they react to tournament play. If a tournament does occur, it would be worth the admission fee to catch the last game of the season – and see if any player really shines and improves his position in the upsoming January tournamnet draft. Until the next time I can find a open unattended door into the arena…
Yuri HANZONMECACK
Hey boys, next week, we will be holding our Tomcat Christmas Party at the Tomcat Club…in the basement of the Kapusta Kow Palace….Tomcats providing all the beer (3 cases of MGD) and a Bottle of Wisers [Editor’s note: Wiser’s is proudly made in Windsor!]…..so please ensure you have a D.D.
Our fine Minister of Pizza (Youngblood Morgan) is dialing up some numbers, as we speak to bring us the best pizza possible, that cost is only $10 a guy.
I have invited alumni to attend, as the fans get a big kick out of seeing their Tomcat hero’s of yesteryear…..(They will be charged $5.00 for beer and $10 for Pizza) Just so you know.
We will play our three games…and then go downstairs to the Tomcat Club….I will need assistance in carrying the cases of beer to the Tomcat club along with the coolers, so anyone that wants to help, please feel free to jump in.
I have also invited Jasan Enskat to come out and ref a game…to get a feel for it, as we may use him in the February Tournament…he was kind enough to donate 18 beers to the Tomcats (left overs from the Pittsburgh trip) so he will be an honourable member of the Tomcats for that night only.
If we have 18 guys that show up, we will run a mini tournament…..three goalies….and five guys per team…..so make sure you bring a black shirt and a white shirt…we have our yellow tournament shirts that will be used for the third team…..(I’m sure everyone will behave and that I will have fun on that night….right? RIGHT?)
If only 16 guys show, we will go with a normal night….
Tomcats Forever!
Stevo,
Heywood Jeblowmee is on vacation this week and will not be submitting an article.
by Harry Ballsonue
Hellcats, Razor, Hollywood, Sunny, Snowpants, Youngblood, Shamus, Rocky, Sparky
Black Cats: Skippy, Lovie, Louie, Stevo, Soupy, Chevy, Yuri, Jingles.
Hellcats win, 7-3, 7-0, 7-2.
Ever see an NHL ride a hot goalie through the playoffs, Montreal did it a few years ago, with Ken Dryden, then did it again, last year with Jaroslav Halak, well the Hellcats did it last night with Ray MacDonnell, not only did Razor make the first save, he made the first rebound save, then the second rebound save and then the third rebound save. His goals against average, for the night was 1.6.
The Hellcats got goals from every member of their squad.
The Blackcats only scored 5 goals.
“We really struggled out there tonight, we made attempts, you can’t say we did not try, but we just could not beat their goalie tonight”, indicated Lovie Edgar.
Soupy Salaris, playing for the first time on a line with Lovie and Stevo, indicated he could not buy a goal out there. “man oh man, I tired, I put out everything I had and I just could not buy a goal”, indicated Soupy Salaris.
Snowpants played the entire game, even though he just about screwed himself into the floor when he missed a shot late in the third game.
I am told the Tomcats are holding their Christmas Party next week, beer, rye are supplied and it will cost you $10 for Pizza. Make sure you have a designated driver. Don’t drink and drive!!!
When I see you again, I will try to put my Harry Ballsonue,
As way of apology for the delay in the St. Felix January 2011 Issue (OUT NOW -> SEE BELOW) I give you the remaining dates to the Tomcats Beer List version 1.2 (now with images!)
Picture modification curtesy of a great suggestion by Lovie.
January 2011 – Issue 160 – SPECIAL BONUS PAGE EDITION
As always, click to enlarge:
[Editor’s note: for a higher quality (though larger) page one, click here]