What Do You Buy a Tomcat BY HARRY BALLSONUE
During the Tomcat Christmas Party on December 20 I had a chance to go around and ask some of the Tomcats what they would buy their fellow Tomcat if they had to buy them a present…I asked Doc what he would buy the Kamikaze, “I would buy him the finest bottle of scotch that I could find, the best champagne, the most expensive Rum and 10 cases of Stella Artois, he is a great guy and deserves some nice presents and I hope he shares some of the presents with me”. Doc said.
Soupy what would you buy your cousin Sunny? “I would buy him anything he wanted, he has been the greatest cousin, taught me everything about how to play hockey and then brought me into the Tomcat organization, so anything he wanted I would buy for him”. Stated Soupy.
The Rake was asked what he would be for any of the Tomcats: “There is no better group out there then the Tomcats, best guys ever, I would give each one of them my video on ’ how to play defence ‘. I also would give them my latest DVD ‘Hockey My Way’ and I would also give each and everyone of the Tomcats a coupon for ‘Love Advice’. “Stated a grinning Rake.
Rocky has been doing a fantastic job as the President, the Tomcats have not missed a beat with Rocky at the helm. In fact I would say it has even been running better. I would give Rocky more money to run the Tomcats, if he is making 1 million dollars a year, I would give him a 20 percent raise.
The Matador was asked what he would buy Tunzie. “Tunzie is such a great guy I would buy him a helicopter so that he would not have to fight traffic to come to the Kapusta Kow Palace, he could just land on the roof and come right down to the fire escape. Now I will buy him a helicopter but I’m not paying for helicopter pilot lessons for him, those are expensive”. Stated a laughing Matador.
What would you buy Beep, the Turk was asked: “He is such a classy guy I would love to buy him some Kobe beef and Lobster tails, but he is vegan so I guess it would have to be the best carrots I could find, but I really don’t know a lot about veggies and shit, so I would have to look to a Vegan web site to see what I could buy him, maybe a black been burger or some pasta or a portobello burger”.
Chevy was asked what he would buy the Hurricane, “Well when you have the kind of money the Hurricane has, what can you buy a man like that, but I would take him golfing to my private golf and country club. I would let him pay for his green fee but the present would be that I would let him beat me, that would probably be the best present he would ever get”. Stated Chevy.
Cribzie what would you buy Falcon? “I would buy him a smaller blocker and trapper so that maybe I would be able to score on him once in a while”.
Funny thing was that many of the Tomcats shared a similar thought and that was to pitch in and buy Lovie a one way ticket to Windsor, “We would buy an oil company and place him as the president of Lovie Oil and he could live and play Tomcat hockey on Tuesday nights because we miss him very much”, stated Sunny.
While you are thinking ‘would any Tomcat buy Snowpants a new pair of Snowpants’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.