By Dick Fitzwell
The Gordon’s Gin Golf League resumed play on August 21, 2017 but unfortunately, play was suspended after ten holes because of water accumulation on the greens. Stevo, the league’s weather director said it looked like the round could be completed but one particular cloud like the one that always hovered over 235 Eugenie Street for years was to blame for all of the rain. “When I checked my handy, dandy palm Doppler after nine, I knew right away the round was in jeopardy”, said Stevo.
Scores after nine holes were Soupy with a 32, Turk 34, Stevo 35 and May Day, 36.
Since play was cut short because of the rain, the boys signed autographs in the pro shop over a few cold beers. T shirty, hoodies, golf balls and even bras were signed for loyal fans. “I am not a fan of bras, but I figure if I get one to sign, it must mean it’s not being worn”, said a happy Stevo.
The sensitive issue of politics was the topic of discussion, particularly the decision of Ryerson University’s decision to go to genderless dorms. Male and Female students will now be house in the same dorms to accommodate transgender students.” Why do they make this such a big deal? asked Turk. “Maybe guys will get more blow jobs”.
Soupy, who May Day thinks will be eventually become the president of UNIFOR Local 444 almost didn’t make it in time for the round. “My assistant got the message for the weather all wrong. I thought the round was cancelled”. However, it all worked out as a group of seven golfers from the Serbian club wearing soccer sweat pants played ahead of the pros. “It all worked out. We are an inclusive and accommodating league”, said May Day.
League play will not resume until at least after the Battle Creek Trip. However, a few charity events will be scheduled. Watch for the e-mails.
Sea Lion was again a scratch. He was in Texas rescuing hurricane victims. We tried to contact the Sea Lion but he had no cell service. However Fox News dedicated a segment to the Sea Lion showing footage of him swimming down Houston streets looking for stranded citizens.
The league office arranged for the boys to donate their winnings to the Hurricane Relief fund until Stevo read the fine print. “Wait a minute. This memo says Hurricane’s relief fund”. Instead a decision was made by Commissioner May Day to donate the prize money to refugees who are illegally crossing the Canadian border. “Maybe there will be a golfer in hockey player in that crew. Perhaps a future Tomcat”, said May Day.