As many of my fellow Tomcats may recall, I suffered a horrendous high stick injury to my face within the last few weeks of hockey during the 2011-2012 season. This blatant act was reviewed by none other than Brendan Shannahan, however no penalty was imposed. Since the injury was permanent and disfiguring, it was necessary to travel to the West Coast, in sunnyLos Angelesto seek top of the line cosmetic surgery.
I met with several doctors and decided to go with ‘the best of the best’. After a 13 hour procedure that would have made Lee Majors proud since his surgery as ‘Steve Austin’, I was well on my way to recovery. It didn’t take long for local celebrities to notice a Windsor Tomcat was recovering in their fine community, and I quickly started getting invites to gatherings such as Paris Hilton’s birthday party, Kim Kardashian’s beach party, and Robert DeNiro’s annual fish fry. I won’t even mention the two days I spent at Heff’s playboy mansion.
While inLos Angeles, it only made sense to meet with LA Kings coach Darryl Sutter. Now, I don’t usually like to pat myself on the back, but after reviewing his defensive alignment, I made several suggestions for line adjustments and aggressive forward pinch maneuvers which have had positive results. Sutter has adapted my strategies and personally congratulated me with their recent success in making it to the Stanley Cup.
As you can see by the photo, my scars have healed, and I’ve taken up a part time job teaching surfing at the Ron Jon Surf Shop. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know that I offer a 80% discount to bikini clad clients. It’s a tough life, but somebody has to do it.
Until September, I hope everyone has a great summer, and wish for happiness to all. I hope to see you all at the annual classic Golf Tourney.
Stay safe…Cribz