By Chuck Fina
AUGUST 17, 2020 – POINTE WEST DAY 1
The Cougar Bush tour kept their tournament in Canada this year for the first time since 1989 and before it was called the Cougar Bush Tour. Due to border restrictions, Cougar Bush President Chevy organized 3 days of golf at some of this region’s finest courses.
Monday was Point West. There were 2 foursomes and one 3 some. Snowpants was on the DL. As readers know Snowpants is a bee keeper and makes honey for his escorts. Unfortunately, Snowpants was stung by a swarm of his own bees the day before play Monday. He was rushed to the hospital by Air Ambulance and the doctors diagnosed him with Covid 19.
It was all La Bamba Monday. Drives, putts, chips. He was on fire. Since he hasn’t been flying around the world, he invested a thousand dollars an hour to take golf lessons from the Big Easy. The lessons certainly paid off as La Bamba was on fire.
After the round, Bubbles graciously invited the tour back to his mansion on the Detroit River. He treated the guys with refreshments and even brought May Day a Diet Coke.
“What a guy”, said May Day, almost in tears.
The guys also had their picture taken by Bubbles’ girlfriend, Petunia, who is a professional photographer. “ I have never seen a camera that big”, said Stevo as the guys lined up for their very wide angled shot.
During the afternoon, La Bamba swam to Boblo island. It was a sight to see. He held his beer above water the entire way with one hand and used only one arm to swim. When La Bamba swam back from Boblo island, he emerged from the water to roaring applause and he had 10 perch he had caught with his toes while swimming.
AUGUST 18, 2020 – KINGSVILLE
Cougar Bush was at Kingsville on Tuesday. The guys were clearly the youngest on the course. The average age of a Kingsville golf member is 80 years– old but the guys brought their god humor and had the geezers howling. The Turk wins the Covid award for smartest golfer. He brought each guy a shot glass for doing shots on birdie holes.
“I was just adhering to the Covid rules. No big deal”, said the Turk.
La Bamba tore up Kingsville as well shooting in the 60’s. After the round La Bamba invited the guys back to his estate in South Windsor for a perch fish fry.
There was huge fish fry at La Bamba’s after the round and there were a thousand fans and a thousand protestors at this shin-dig.
Rumor has it some guys went straight to Blenheim Wednesday from La Bamba’s.
August 19, 2020 – Willow Ridge
The final day of the tour was held at the Willow Ridge Golf and Country Club. All La Bamba’s relatives were on hand to greet the guys at the clubhouse after the round. It was another great day of golf with Chevy handing out top prizes and a cheque for $75,000.00 to the Bundura and Stevo. “ I played like shit today. It was all Mr. Bundura who carried us”, said Stevo.
A big THANK YOU goes out to Chevy for organizing this year’s tour. He did a great job and should be acknowledged for his efforts.
“ I love these guys”, said Chevy.
Players this year were as follows;
Lovey, who flew in from Sarnia.
Sunny
LaBamba
Chevy
May Day
Stevo
Mr. Bundura.
Bubbles
The Big Easy
Snowpants
Turk
Chevy
Hatchie
Cribzee
Notes;
August 31, 2020 will be the last round May Day is organizing for the Gordon’s Gin League. Text Mayday before Thursday at 9:00 if you want in.
This and That
Not to worry readers, Stevo finally staggered back to Essex after blowing his engine in his vintage corvette after racing to Montreal to line up for Habs season tickets. “I am done with the Leafs”, said Stevo who was still visibly shaken from after another Leaf collapse. The be back in 5 minutes sign that was on his garage door has been removed.
A notable absence on the Cougar Bush Tour was the Sea Lion who was out of town. Reporters saw the Sea Lion looking at a donkey farm in Bowmanville that was for sale. “I’m thinking of moving out that way. I have always loved donkeys and once the country goes completely green, I can rent them out as tractors. A lot of my people are in Bowmanville and I like the area.”, said the Sea Lion.
The Legend used to say, “ Work Hard, Play Hard, Be Hard”.
The Legend now says, “Work Safe, Play Safe, Be Hard.