LIZARD MAY NEED A NEW NAME:
LIZARD MAY NEED A NEW NAME:
by Harry Ballsonue
“What to my eyes should appear, but ten new pounds on my hips, thighs and rear” . Unknown Female
TEAMS
SOUPY DASHERS /DONNERS: Soupy, Hurricane, Lovie (Yes Lovie), Falcon (in net) Skippy (See photo below), Jingles, Bulldog and Shack
MATADOR DANCER/PRANCERS: Matador, The Terror (in net), Killer, Bullwinkle, Sparky, Tonto, El Choppo and Chevy
La BAMBA BLITZEN/VIXEN: La Bamba, Lizard, Stevo, Chico (In net) Kassian, Rocky, Sunny, and the Sheep Dog
Some incredible fast hockey last night, the talent level was incredible and it was demonstrated by the quick play. Passes, shots, saves, you name it and Tuesday night hockey had it last night.
Thanks to Snowpants for reffing. “He really did a great job out there, took control of the game and knew what he was doing, very authoritative out there,” stated Soupy of the Soupy Dashers-Donners.
Lovie surprised everyone by making it out to the night of hockey and not only did he make the trip from the Petrolia, he also brought a 60 banger of Wisers for the boys to enjoy! That is super Tomcat spirit…thank you Lovie! “It is so great coming back and seeing all the boys, it is an incredible to be with the guys tonight, I miss it, I don’t mind telling you that,” stated Lovie holding back tears.
Defensive player of the night, Shackalicious, “He is a great player and tenacious’” stated elder statesman Sunny.
CHRISTMAS MEMORIES
Great to see some of the alumni out last night, the Legend, Rex Brennan, Youngblood and the Sea Lion. It is always great when we are invited. Some of the younger players use to watch the Legend and Rexy on TSN and were in awe of them. It always makes them feel good when they see them amongst the Tomcats now.
First night back in January will be on the 17th
ANOTHER STORY FROM THAT FAMOUS FLIGHT
So, by way of background, last week, our readers found out about TOMCAT 1, the plane the Tomcats fly on, had mechanical problems and could not fly out of Calgary. The Tomcats had to fly commercial from Calgary on their western road trip. Readers have already heard the story about Snowpants meeting the sexologist. Coach Sea Lion shares another story from that trip…
The plane flew from Calgary to Winnipeg then to Windsor. In Winnipeg, some of the passengers disembarked and others got on. One lady did not sit beside Sheep Dog but could hear him playing songs on his piano keyboard that he brings on road trips. Sea Lion sat beside him as Sheep Dog played a couple of his original songs. They were beautiful so Sea Lion asked, ‘Whats the name of that song?’ Sheep Dog responded, “Your pussy is a little bit smelly, but I still want to eat you out.” Sea Lion, a stand up guy, gulped and said nothing. Sheep Dog played another beautifully composed song, “What is that one called’” Sea Lion asked reluctantly. “In your ass, in my ass, let’s have some fun.” Silence, Sea Lion is aghast and says nothing. Sheep Dog starts to play another beautiful song but Sea Lion stops him, “Listen Sheep” he says, “Your music is fantastic but unless someone really wants to know the name of one of your songs, I would suggest you not say anything, understand?” Sheep Dog understood.
After about an hour into the flight, Sheep Dog got up to go have a pee. Returning to his seat from the washroom, Sheep Dog’s barn door was open and Sheep’s penis was sticking out. A lady stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but do you know your Pecker is sticking out of your pants?” Sheep Dog looked at the lady and said, “Know it, I wrote it!”
Have a save and happy Holiday, whilst you are checking out the dog on the computer and wondering, what does my dog do when I’m out, and thinking ‘Know it, I wrote it’, could I put my Harry Ballsonue?
The day that started as a full-fledged mini, but ended up with only 2 teams, and one spare each. No worries, the teams were well-balanced and had no issues keeping a fast pace all evening. In fact, the Tomcats opted to play the NHL format, 3 twenty minute periods to the delight of the fans.
Teams:
Shack’s Black Candy Canes – Shack, The Ginger Bandit, Chevy, Rocky, Sunny and Tonto
Chico’s White Candy Corns – Chico, Killer, Spraky, Soupy, Bullwinkle and The Lizard
The game was even after the first period (4-4), then even after the second period (8-8). However, the White Candy Corns proved to be too much for the Black Candy Canes and were able to out score Shack’s team 4-0, to end the game at 12-8. Good clean, fast and exciting hockey…you missed a great night if you weren’t there.
By Harry Ballsonue
“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” –Mother Teresa
TEAMS
The Hurricane Scouts: Hurricane, Falcon (net) Hollywood, Beep, Soupy, Rocky, Tonto and Snowpants
The Bulldog Barons: Bulldog, Chico (ne), Doc, El Choppo, Chevy, Bullwinkle, and Sunny
The Stevo Golden Seals: Stevo, Killer, Cribzie, Shack (net) Lizard, Matador, The Anvil
It is not often that I can say this, but WOW, was hockey very good last night. Fast action, incredible passes and the net minders (Falcon, Shack and Chico) were amazing. Even the Overtime game between the Bulldog Barons and the Stevo Golden Seals, was exciting to watch.
The only black mark on the night, was when Bulldog (seemed like an accident) tripped Tonto and then viciously in another play hacked at the Matador. Bulldog who has won, 27 straight Lady Bing awards was not disciplined or penalized on the trip or the slash. “We were out there trying to break their hearts and they were out there trying to break our sticks,” stated a distraught Matador.
In the early stages of the Mini, Snowpants went down, with what the Tomcats are calling a lower body injury. “We will assess him tomorrow and he is listed as week by week. I am not a medical doctor, but I would say, you won’t see Snowy in next weeks line up,” stated Head Coach of the Tomcats, Sea Lion
INJURIES
In other Tomcat injury news, Kamikaze is progressing well, he is not expected back in the line up anytime soon. He will be attending on the 17th for Pizza and Beer. Tomcat Spirit is all around him.
The Tomcats are reporting that Jingles will be returning into the line up, next week, after a lengthy recovery from a knee injury.
FUNNY MOMENT FROM LAST WEEK
So Kamikaze is sitting up in a chair, in Sunny’s spot and has his leg up on another chair, Sparky approaches, points to the chair where Kamikaze’s leg is resting and says, “ahhhmm, that’s my chair.” Too Funny.
FURUTE EVENTS
You should have, by now responded to Kamikaze and or Soupy as to whether or not you are in the Tomcat tournament Saturday February 29, 2020, if you have not done so, then please do so.
Tomcat Christmas Party, Tuesday December 17, $10 for pizza, beer and spirits compliments of the Tomcats, have a DD Please.