Windsor Tomcats

I attended the tournament early, as news had already been received the Kapusta was going to be busy with a sell out crowd. When I pulled into the parking lot the first thing I noticed was the increased signage and security, namley the two bright orange pylons prominently marking the entrance. As I drove past I kept looking for the valet parking.

Earlier I had made predictions regarding which teams would battle it out for the championship game, but on game day as I walked in and I provided Stevo with a new updated list. The primary reason, teams had individually lost players – Dizzy was a recent loss to the St.Clair Beach Stigrays, one of the teams I had predicted, and stayed with as being in the ‘show’. Other reporters had already laid out Crispy would be forced to miss out, and everyone was holding their breath regarding Crow. I really had to re-examine the teams, factor in the lost players, and studied other nuances to slightly tweak my picks. Surprisingly, when all the chips fell, I was right on every account other than who would win the cup, and what the scores would be for the winners. For the record I had the following (Which was verified prior to the drop of the first puck with several witnesses):

Mauraders VS Mets – Predicted Mauraders win 2-1, ACTUAL SCORE: Mauraders win 6-0
Stingrays VS Wings – Predicted Stingrays 4-2, ACTUAL SCORE: Stingrays 5-3
Mauraders VS Stingrays – Predicted Stingrays 3-0, ACTUAL SCORE: Stingrays 4-3
Mets VS Wings – Predicted Wings 4-2, ACTUAL SCORE: Wings 4-2
Stingrays VS Mets – Predicted Stiungrays 4-0, ACTUAL SCORE: Stingrays 7-4
Wings VS Mauraders – Predicted Mauraders 3-1. ACTUAL SCORE: Mauraders 4-0

Before all the action began, I was early enough to see fan favourites like Snowpants, Chevy and maybe the biggest surpirse Crow.  Fans, Tomcat Management and particularly The May Day Mauraders were celebrating their markee player Crow, who was able to shake off his recent injury and play.  Almost immediately Crow was a factor and was a huge differnce with the Mauraders as they marched their way into the finals and the team had a collective sip from ‘Stanley’s cup’.  My prediction was Stingrays VS Mauraders for the cup, and I had the Stingrays winning 4-2, the actual score was Mauraders 2, Stingrays 1.  The Rays may have come up just short, and many odds makers were surprised as the team featured the very dangerous Jaworiwsky brothers – and both had a fantastic tournament.  The problem was Mauraders goalie Razor had a better one.  Razor dominted with two shut outs, earning him not only another Stanley Cup, but tournament MVP.  Year of the goalies?  Two consecutive tournamenmts have now featured goalies as MVP’s, and two consecutive tournaments featured goalies posting two shut outs. 

My scores were off with teams, as this year players like Crow and Hollywood were really able to ‘Light it Up’, scores were much higher this year compared to the last tournament.  Collectively the goalies went 6-6 with a 7G.A.A, and more specifically they were broken down as follws:

Razor 1.25G.A.A
Falcon 2G.A.A
Skippy 3.6G.A.A and
Bearcat 5.6G.A.A.

Razor took it all, with Hollywood a second star and Crow taking third.  Hats off to both teams, and while the Stingrays didn’t take it this time around, did you see their sweet tourny shirts?  Rock summed it up nicely when he commented, “These shirts were something else, I actually got my hands on one cause I liked it so much. ‘

This year’s tournament may also provide the new Mnister of Fines, Suspensions and Grievous Acts some head scratching, bellyaching and out right ‘Tomcat’ calls.  There was one point where Crow took out a player, pleaded his innocence and the whole thing was caught on camera.  Evidence clearly shows Crow had the stick between the other players leg just prior to the fall.  The tourny also featured several rare penalties, one of which was in the championship game – HOLY!  Tough call for the ref, and tougher still to keep players playing hard, but within the confines of Stevo’s famous ‘Play The ball’ chant.  I caught up quickly with Stevo after his teams loss, ‘I don’t know maybe Dizzy would have popped in a needed goal, but regardless I’m real proud of my guys’.

Nothing better than seeing the boys back at Purples eating pizza and sharing a drink.

After all the festivities, and gorging of the NON VEGGIE PIZZA, Tomcat players filtered out of Purples lounge and all are looking to return to ‘normal’ play in a week.  Just before I left I had a chat with Junior, a Wings returning player who had hopes of being a repeat champ.  Junior summed it up as only Junior could, stating, ‘If you say something about me and my, or any other of my players HANDONMECAC, I’ll put my fist down your throat and decapitate your head’.  Yup Junior, this years ‘gentleman player’? 

What a strange tournament indeed, next year with the goalies picking may be just as strange – ‘Great I already went 0-4 on picking a team this year , in a mini tournament , I better start studying the players now’ stated Skippy.

Remember this is no hockey this Tuesday, it all starts back up on Tuesday March 6. 6:30 is the start time, for those confused about the start up time.

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

Fuzzy wanted to make sure he had enough Pepperoni for the Tomcat Pizza

When it comes to tournament time, its all about the smiling faces! Cuz it's for fun.

From what I could see, everyone seemed to have a lot of fun and the end, the May Day Marauders, beat the Sting Rays in the Championship game, 2-1.

Hardest job out on the Kapusta Kow Floor was that of the Ref and the Tomcats thanked the Bundura for putting up with all that he had to.

The team picture was taken after the second game and although we here with the media have not been made privileged to it, I am hearing from all accounts, that the full Tomcat team picture is spectacular.

MVP went to stand out net minder, Razor. Most Gentleman Like went to, who we in the media booth thought played a honest and fair game, Junior….Junior stood for what the tournament is all about…fair play! Contributor Award went to a very deserving Hollywood and speaking of deserving, Most Dedicated (for all his setting up before Tuesday nights and for his work on the web site) went to Rocky. Rookie Award went out to LaBamba and Willie. Strong Thank You to Jingles, Bearcat, Cribz, Lovie and Crow.

A special limited edition Tomcat t-shirt was presented to the Tomcat of the Century, Stevo for his work in the tournament.

After all was said and done, the boys sat up up on stage and enjoyed some cool beverages and some laughs.  They then made their way to Purples for some hot piping Pizza from Martinello’s Pizza (Belle  River).

Out Door game is on April 24, 2012 at 6:00p.m. (Please note the early time…as they rent on the hour to the hour….thus the 6 o’clock start).

Stevo has been fined, yet another case of beer for throwing his stick.  He is to bring that case on the first night next year, along with the case he is to bring for drinking beer from the cooler before the Mini Tournament was over on February 21.

There is no hockey this Tuesday, so all the Tomcats can rest up and then next game is on Tuesday March 6…..and I am sad, as I cannot put my Harry Ballsonue till then.

By Haywood Jewblowmee

The May Day Marauders may be without their franchise player for the Tournament, Crow.  Crow was injured in a Charity hockey game, a Tomcat Charity called: (WWWBB) Women Who Want Bigger Boobs,  Crow was playing in Tilbury when he was hit from behind by a goon and Crow went down to the ice. “I feel a bit groggy right now, Doctors have told me I should not play, but I don’t want to let the Marauders down, I think I might have to be a game time decision”.

Vegas now, talking to odd makers, like the chances of the Met’s now that the Marauders are out, “The combination of Crow and the Eagle was to be spectacular, but now, one might soar and the other one is sore”. Stated a Scout with the Stingrays.

Marauders Captain, “It is a huge loss for us, I don’t know what to say, we will have our Doctors work on him tonight and see if he is good to go in the morning”.

Tune in tomorrow, to see what the action brings, but while the games are being played, Haywood Jewblowmee?

Crow injured in charity hockey game, doubtful for Tomcat Tournament

My decision not to suspend Stevo and Hollywood as was posted on the Tomcat web site in the ‘comment’ section has been reconsidered as new evidence in this case has come to the attention of the league office.

An anonymous video was submitted by the Rake to the league office. While filming himself having a whiz in the ladies washroom on Tuesday night, the Rake accidentally left his iPhone video on. The video clearly captured Stevo shot gunning a can of MGD while hockey was still being played, the video and audio then shows him talking The Matador into taking a beer as well. Thus, Stevo is fined a 24 pack of beer of his choice payable at the first night of hockey next season.

The decision not to suspend Hollywood is confirmed.

The league office has no jurisdiction over players filming themselves in the ladies washroom but does not condone this behaviour.

The league reminds all players for the upcoming tournament to play hard, play clean and have fun. The league will be closely monitoring the tournament and any breaking of rules will be strictly enforced.

by Harry Ballsonue

White Knights: The Danesh, Cribz, Chevy, Soupy, Snowpants, Mez, Junior
Black Falcons: The Falcon, The Rake, Rocky, Hurricane, Yuri and Bulldog
Yellow Raiders:  The Matador, Doc. Stevo, Zaba, Hollywood and May Day

Now that Valentines Day is over, most of the Tomcats returned for some hockey.  How many got laid the night that they skipped on hockey, probably none….

The Black Falcons won on the night, with a 3 to 1 win over the White Knights.  Chippy hockey I would say, just before the tournament, not good, I would also say….not sure what Saturday’s Tournament will hold.  The Bundura will have his work cut out for him.  Many slap shots tonight, tripping and just lots of un-needed hacking….

Three star selection, as selected by La Bamba, 3) The Mez, 2) The Falcon 1) The Danish ( I wanted to go with ‘The’ names tonight)

Stevo said to me, that he is unsure what to wear to Saturday for the awards ceremony, he indicated that he sees pictures of himself years later and says ‘why did I wear that shirt?’.

Bulldog Meloche won his first Mini Tournament this year. Congrats to Bulldog, as much as you hate to see the chippy-ness, you love to see a great guy like Bulldog win his first tournament of the year.  Go get em Bulldog.

Bulldog wins first Mini Tournament of the season, and that, right there is reason to play.

The Danish maybe had played one of his best Tuesday nights in a long time, “I thought I did well out there, much better then Skippy ever does, that I know” the Danish indicated.

May Day, the Minister of Fines and Grieves Acts, is looking at fining Hollywood for throwing his stick and Stevo for Drinking from the cooler before the night was done. Stay tune for those decisions, should be interesting, as Stevo had said, “Fine me for drinking from the cooler??? See if you see me on Saturday!”.

Tournament is this Saturday, please, no pushing, no slap shots, no tripping, no yapping, no Tom Foolery.

If any of that happens, I will put my Harry Ballsonue.

by Haywood Jewblowmee

The Defending Stanley’s Cup Champions, Rocky’s Wings have just found out that Crispy will not be able to participate in the February 25, 2012 tournament, Rocky at the press conference indicated, “This is a huge blow for our team.  Crispy is a leader on our team, he is a power forward, a Calder Cup defender and the franchise player, you don’t replace a player like that, but we have decided to go with the lineup that we have and adapt and overcome” Rocky concluded.

It has been reported that Crispy is out due to a back injury.

“Oh-oh’ Skippy said, when asked about the development.

Snowpants and the Matador will now have to take on the main scoring for the team.

There was some speculation that new comer Lefty was to be signed, but after being cut by the Tomcats on Tuesday he was placed on a bus with a one way ticket to Peoria.

Tournament is Feb 25, 2012. 8:30 start.

Management had predicted one spare a side tonight, seeing how a large number of the Tomcats were busy bustin out their bedroom moves for the lovely ladies.  What did happen was there was one spare on the Black Cats and two spares on the White Knights side, one of which included Dizzy from the Skipjacks, who had been called up due to an apparent shortage of players. 

The poor White Knights, lead by the usually dominating line of Stevo and Hollywood, fell three straight games to the Black Cats: 7-5, 7-2 and 7-2.  While watching the action unfold, the White Knights were really only ever in it that first game…I’m just saying as stats are hard to argue with when the Black Cats are able to outscore your group 21-9, thats almost triple the numbers folks.  The Black Cats were lead by number one goaltender Razor, who ended with a remarkable 3G.A.A.  When I tried to speak to him later regarding the scoreboard, he stated, “I have one word for you, kid – CUP”.  I take that fans to mean Razor is in the zone and has set his sights on another Stanley’s Cup.  Razor fans are reminded they can get their fill as the netminder was last weeks featured player on the Tomcat Website.  Coincidence – I’m not sure, but none the less he was outstanding as usual.  Razor will get his opportunity to shine in less than 12 days, and with that tournament possibly another cup.  Razors chances may have also improved as sources indicate the returning champs have lost their number one draft pick to in jury.  Tomcat management was unwilling to speculate, but did indicate the player would be seeing specialist Doctor Dekeuout.  Following that assessment a formal announcement may be made.

Skippy meanwhile was a surprise show as management had slated Hollywood to get the nod.  After a 7G.A.A Skippy is likely wishing he let Hollywood take over netminding duties.  And while no three star selections are made during regular games, Sparky would be my nod for his outstanding play in all three tilts.  Sparky had “Moves Like Jagger” as during one game he was able to score twice using both posts as assists. 

At the end of the games Sparky was surprised with The Tilston Charity Cup Trophy, presented by Skippy for the Tomcats recent win over The Skipjacks.  At first Sparky was at a loss for words, then remarked, “Now where in my trophy room am I going to make room for this.”  I think Harry Ballsonue, Bloggy Bloggerstein, or H.P.P  took Sparkys picture with the trophy, considering I’m still using forged media credentials and don’t have the cash for any real equipement.  Look for Sparkys photo and the glare from his dome in another article by a real reporter.

On my way out I caught up to Dizzy and asked why he had come out to play, heres what he said: “Well I already got laid this week and had nothing else going on, besides I needed to impress Tomcat management and I gladly answered the call”.

As I was headed to my car I realized not one player took the opportunity to have their Handsonmecac.  I guess Tomcat players are indeed studs and all will head home to their lovely Mrs. Tomcats for some more scoring moves. 

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

White Nights: Doc, Skippy, Lefty, Junior, Stevo,. Hollywood and Dizzy
Black Cats: Razor, Crow, Sparky, Rocky, Snowpants and Zaba

Crow
Crow was the first, second and third star on Valentine’s night at the Kapusta Kow Palace…he was the water bug as his team, won easily 7-5, 7-2 and then again 7-2. Crow was presented with a $10,000 cheque and presented the money to ‘Children in need of Protection’ and to the ‘Humane Society’. “What a super great guy Crow is”, indicated Snowpants, “he gets this money and just gives it away to needy charities” Snowpants concluded.

Normally, Stars are not awarded in a regular Tuesday night, when a tournament is not played, but it was felt that with Crow’s play, he deserved to be all three stars.

Clothing
Hollywood is very happy to announce that 31 Sweat Shirts are to be ordered.  Deposits have been obtained and the Sweat Shirt should be delivered on tournament day.

Tomcat Golf
June 22, 2012, Seven Lakes and the party after is at Hollywood’s.  Golf-Cart $50.  Bring your own beer/booze….Tomcats may collect $10 from everyone for food.

Beer For The Tournament
Just a friendly reminder that the tournament is a time of fun….if you wish to bring beer, then please do so in your own cooler and  put it on ice.  Ice will not be available from the downstairs bar…so bring your beer, cooler and ice.

Last Week Before the Tournament
Next week is the last week before the tournament.  There is no Tuesday night hockey after the tournament (Feb 28) so keep that in mind.

Tilston Cup
The Windsor Tomcats won the Tilston Cup on January 22 and game organizer, Skippy presented the trophy to the Windsor Tomcats.  He will get the inscription done up on the trophy and will present it officially at the tournament.

Windsor Tomcat Team Captain "Sparky" holds the Tilston Cup. Tomcats won the cup on January 22, against the Sandwich Towne Skip Jacks.

Ending
One week left before the tournament, Yuri will be collecting $10 for Pizza for 3p.m. after the tournament. (Pizza at Purples)  Cost of tournament is $20, to be paid to your Captain (May Day, Yuri, Rocky and Stevo) Team t-shirts are to be determined by each Captain , as far as price goes, but count on $10 if your team is getting a t-shirt. 

Hey, it’s Valentines night, can I put my Harry Ballsonue

Fines:

The following anonymous complaints were made by The Rake:

1. That Junior be fined for allegedly whacking the scoreboard with his stick on January 31, 2011.
2. That any Tomcats that did not show up for lunch be fined a six pack of beer.
3. That Killer be fined a case of beer for a no show/no call

Decisions:

Several witnesses were interviewed including Jingles who made a feverish statement calling Juniors behaviour as inappropriate. The minister was in attendance on January 31, 2011 and interviewed Junior. Junior indicated that he was trying to get some excess tape off his stick. While in the motion of waving his stick, he accidentally hit the scoreboard. The Minister accepts Junior’s statement and no fine will be levied.

1. The Minister fines any Tomcat one six pack for not showing up to lunch after making the commitment. The Minister fines himself one case of beer as the Minister must be held to a higher standard. Fines payable at the tournament.
2. Killer is fined $5.00 for the no show Tuesday Feb. 7, 2011.

NL
Minister of Suspensions and Grievous Acts

by Harry Ballsonue

The Rakers: Sunny, LaBamba, Rocky, Matador, Hollywood, Mez and The Rake
Sparkorama Spirit: Lovie, Soupy, Junior, Snowpants, Jingles, Falcon and Sparky
The Bulldogs: Chevy, Stevo, Yuri, May Day, Razor, Hurricane and Bulldog

It could not have worked out any better, three teams and two spares aside.  The goaltending was fabulous….”It has been a long time, since we had three solid net minders playing on a Tuesday night.” stated an enthusiastic Lovie, “Hollywood really did awesome out there tonight, you can always count on the Falcon and Razor”. Lovie concluded.

Hollywood did so awesome that he was the first star.  Second star went to LaBamba and the third star went to the Matador…(as selected by LaBamba)

Controversial Call

German Ref Loivvee Weinersneitsell missed a goal on the Rakers, “I no see it”, Weinersneitsell had said, clearly on video replay you can see the ball pass the cross bar, hit the water bottle (which was on top of the mesh on the net)  and then pop out to the ground.  The Rakers, were all a tether but the ball was clearly in.  A clever play by the Rakers net minder Hollywood. The goal was not allowed and the Rakers were allowed to win that game.

Valentines Day

Here are the 12 Tomcats playing next week, Razor, Sparky, Rocky, Junior, Crow, May Day, Hollywood, Yuri, Stevo, Lovie, Snowpants and Zaba….if anyone can get their bra and panties off and come out to play, the Tomcats would love to see you.

Flip Jacks

The St. Clair Beach Sting Rays, selected Chords to play in tournament, but he backed out after being selected….he has been handed a life time ban from the Windsor Tomcats and Skippy is on probation with the Tomcats for introducing him.

Dizzy

The St. Clair Beach Sting Rays have called up young Dizzy to fill in. “He is a good solid addition to the Sting Ray line up…he will fit in nicely, I’m glad he is able to play”, indicated Stevo, Captain of the Sting Rays 

Killer

Management may have this wrong, but Killer was to be in last nights line up, but did not show.  Tomcats will look into it and determine if a fine is in order. 

Sweat Shirts

$30 bucks gets you a beautiful Tomcat Sweat Shirt…..order today……call Hollywood to place your order.

Standings

                              W    L     T    GF    GA    +/-    Pts.
The Rakers          4      0     0     11     3      +9     8
The Bulldogs        1     2     1       6      9      -3      3
Spark Spirit          0     3     1      4      9       -5      1

Ballsonue

Maybe next week, on valentines day, I can put my Harry Ballsoune

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