The first ever photo of the entire Tomcat Family.
By Harry Ballsonue
Doc’s Dragon Flies : Chico, Hollywood, Snowpants, Cribzie, Soupy, Beer and the Leader of the Band, Doc
Rake’s Renegades: Zabba, Falcon, Jingles, Big Joe, Jingles, Chevy, Stevo and the Head Chef, The Raker
Killer’s Knock Outs: The Matador, Sparky, Razor, Rocky, The Turk, and Bulldog selected, but never showed up and the Captain of the Killer Battle Ship, Killer.
The games were quick and the games were fair. No silly shenanigans and that was nice to see. I thought, Soupy had a very good game, even though he may not have had the point production. Beep was able to show as always, why he is a super star and the Doc Dragon Flies won the mini. Net minder, Chico, making his season debut in net, played very well, to lead the Dragon Flies to victory.
The final out come was as follows, The Dragon Flies, finished with a 2-1-1 record, 5 points and a plus 5 on the night. The Renegades, came in second, with a 2 wins, 1 loss and 1 tie, that equals four points and they were a disappointing minus 6. The Killer Knock Outs, went 1-1 and 2, had four points with their one win and two ties and finished even on the plus minus.
“I thought we did well out there, we got some scoring when we needed it, and we got the goaltending when we needed it from Chico, it certainly was nice to win the Mini”, stated Cribize.
“I felt good out there, I still may not know all the shooters, but I am very thankful to the Tomcat organization for giving me the opportunity to play goal tonight.” stated a beaming Chico.
Chico makes debut in net with the Windsor Tomcats
Killer was his Battle Ship self, wanting to take no prisoners.
The Hatchet Man
As Selected by La Bamba The three star selection on the evening, third star, Doc, the number 2 star, Sparky and the first star, Soupy.. Doc, who scored three goals on the night and was the Captain of the winning team, had this to say about being selected third star, “This is the first time I have been selected as a star”. Doc indicated and then turned away as he had tears in his eyes.
The January 2013 St. Felix is out, it is a 4 pager loaded with news and photographs. If you look at it for one thing and one thing only, check out the play boy bunnies and who they are. There is also some valuable information about the January 27, 2013 Tomcats-Skipjacks game and information about the February 23, 2013 Tournament.
One other point of interest, please take the time to check out the latest/newest set of rules for the Tournament in the ‘Tournament Rules’ Icon. Some extremely valuable information about ‘rough play’ and the penalties to be handed out. Returning Ref the Bundura has agreed to ref once again this year and will actually be coming out on some Tuesday prior to that to get a ‘feel for the game’. Referee, The Sealion will also be on hand and will work from the stage as a consultant (see rules for details on what a consulting Ref may or may not do).
Exciting times at the Kapusta Kow and in the Tomcat Nation, the more excited you get, the more excited I get, as I put my Harry Balls on you!
Let’s take a closer look at the number two and allow me to point out some of the strange similarities between the number and that which has been going on as of late with the Tomcats. For example, this past Tuesday saw another mini tournament played, which in fact has also occurred over the past two previous weeks. Or how about my previous post in which I said any team that wants to win a tournament must score more than two goals a game, while allowing less than two goals.
You will by now have no doubt already read Harry’s excellent take on the past week’s play and teams that made up the most recent group of players to make up another mini. Let me break it down further; The Rocky Raiders did take first place with an average score of 3 goals per game while Falcon posted a 2 G.A.A. Rocky’s squad won two games with one loss and one tie. CASE CLOSED – Rocky’s picks won based on pure numbers, and the players ability to score more than one goal a game and relied on their tender to keep the score below 2 goals per game. The perfect combination for a tourny win. Still don’t believe me? To date there has NEVER been a team to win a tournament who has scored less than two goals on average or won less than two games.
Even the most closest of mini’s this year has ultimately been settled by the plus minus; which if you dug deep enough would further prove the winning teams always has the average score of 2 goals or more a game; and they definately have less than 2 goals a game scored which in the end helps thier plus minus.
It was really great this past week to see Jingles return to the fold and he didn’t look a bit out of place scoring and setting up many a goal to help the raiders clinch the tourny. Unfortunately Jingles fell pray to the rule of the “2’s” as he only got the nod for second star. While Snowpants is a fan and player favourite, I think Jingles was jacked. When I asked him about it later he commented, “Hey, I’m just glad to be back playing; but with some of the new style of hacking out there I might have to invest in a pair of lower shin guards.”
Matador who earned the third star selection was a little puzzled when he heard his name called, “Gee, I figured after that give away I had which resulted in a goal against us I never would have made it into a star selection. I guess I won over the judges with my good looks and hard play.”
Speaking of good looks, thankfully the Tomcats first ever couples Xmas dinner is only mere week away and the party is a guarantee to showcase some of the hottest women in town. I can barely contain my excitement as I wonder what the first Mrs. Tomcats reaction will be to my introduction: “Hi, I’m Yuri – I think I’d like some of those HANDZONMECAC”.
Yuri
By Harry Ballsonue
Rocky Raiders: Rocky, Snowpants, Beep, Falcon, Raker, Doc, Zaba and Jingles
Junior Junk Yard Dogs: Sunny, Junior, Soupy, Razor, Matador, Bulldog and Mez
Hollywood Holy Rollers: Hurricane, Hollywood, Skippy, The Turk, Sparky, Chevy and Stevo
Final Standing saw, Rocky’s Raiders take the Mini, with 5 points. The Hollywood Holy Rollers, finished up in Second with 4 points and the Junior Junk Yard Dogs, third place with 3 pints.
All three teams got some points, and all three teams scored some goals, it was nice to see.
Although there were some hacks here and there, the Mini played out very nicely and no one got hurt. Doc had a very good tournament setting up Jingles on a number of occasions. “I know sometimes I can be a menace out there, but over all I thought I did well out there today” indicated Doc who won in the tournament.
Over all, plus minus wise, the Rocky Raiders, scored 9 and had 6 goals against, so they were plus 3. the Hollywood, Holy Rollers, scored 10, had 10 goals against and were zero in the plus and minus category. The Junior Junk Yard Dogs, scored 9 and let in 12, for a minus 3 on the night.
“I thought we did well out there, I have nothing to be ashamed of, the team played well and I would pick this team again, if I could”. indicated Junior.
Three star selection, 3) The Matador, 2) Jingles, 1) Snowpants
Only one week left before the major Tomcat Christmas party. And December 18 is the players only Christmas Party. $10 for pizza, but everything else is provided.
Overall, the night was divine and we thank you all for playing hockey, as I put my Harry Ballsonue
By Harry Ballsonue
I read the last two blogs today (Jingles and Spinner) and then got my trusty lap top out and practically sped to the Kapusta Kow Palace to watch the game. Sure I have been watching on TSN and the Tomcat Hockey Channel, but to watch the game in person is the best.
THE WHITE HACKERS/WACKERS; Falcon, Junior, Turk, Beep, Soupy, Chico, Killer, Mez and Chevy.
THE BLACK GENTLEMAN OF THE FLOOR; Razor, Sparky, Rocky, Hollywood, Sunny, Stevo, Hurricane, Snowpants and Doc
Black wins, 7-5, 3-7, 7-4.
I am nervous writing this, I want everyone to read it and like it, it is my first blog of the hockey season, what can I say about the game last night, Chippy? Hackey? Rough?
I ask myself, do guys really need to do all that hacking? Do they really need to chop at the stick like that? Why hook a stick, of a guy, if the Flipping ball is not even going to him? Why hack at his stick, if the play is not near him? Do some of you really need to do this? If you loose the game, does it really mean that much to you? Do you loose sleep? Do you get cut off from having sex with your wife?
I was not allowed up on stage, but I had heard Sucky Stevo gave a rousing talk and told guys, if they wanted to hack and wack, that they would be told not to come out any more. My source, who did not wish to be identified said, he said, “and if you think, I won’t ask you to leave, try me. You can cry to your mommy, you can write the Windsor Star, we don’t need hackers, we all have jobs to go to in the morning and we have a long list of guys who want to play, if you think hacking is the way to play, then maybe Tuesday night hockey is not for you”.
Best moment of the night, Snowpants does a slide, and gets up all in one motion.
Best goal of the night, Hollywood laces one down the middle and the Hurricane, skillfully deflects it in.
Both net minders were stellar last night.
Score clock was used only in games up to 7….
Come on back, Spinner and Jingles.
The Turk was presented with an award for getting the Tomcats together 24 years ago…
This week is the NHL Hall of Fame Week, it is also the
Hall of Fame Week in the National Ball Hockey League
and the Turk got presented with a special prize, as he
was the one that suggested that the guys from the office
get together and play at the Kapusta Kow Palace, 24
years ago.
I was told, even though, officially, the announcement will be made in the next St. Felix, The Falcon, has won the case of beer, for doing the best Blog, hey you heard it first from my, as I put my Harry Ballsonue.
We finally received a blog from an unknown source pretending to be Jingles. We then received another anonymous blog from someone saying they were Spinner. A little detective work from our Tomcat police officer friends indicates Spinner wrote the blog for Jingles, while Jingles wrote the blog for Spinner. Go figure…Nonetheless, here are the final two summer blogs!
Spinner posing as Jingles:
Jingles here, I’ve written this blog a dozen times already and never seem to be able to finish it. Now that I’m on injured reserve, it’s time to put pen to paper and finish this bad boy. My current ailment, an upper body injury, has made it difficult to hold a pen. I have tried thrusting my trusty ballpoint it into every major orifice I have, ear – rectum – nostril – belly button, but nothing has the gripping power that I really need.
Let me start by saying that I miss all you guys, especially Hollywood. Working 6 jobs: auxiliary policing, crossing guard, life guarding, male model, receptionist in my dad’s office and being an alter boy, BESIDES, going to school full time, has left me with very little energy to do anything exciting. So, there’s nothing much to report here. All I can say is, I look forward to returning to the Tomcat fold as soon as it is physically possible for me to dominate the way I always have in the past.
Remember, Play Hard and Stay Hard!
Jingles posing as Spinner:
My name is Spinner and I’m a winner, who hasn’t had time to write a blog,
I’ve been real busy, educating kids, in other words I’m working like a dog.
I’ve been teaching kids in Ghana, I met the Dali Lama, I’ve been reading to kids in Tibet,
Volunteered in Thailand, to carry bags of sand, I haven’t had any “me” time yet.
Now that I’m back in class, it’s time to get off my ass, the time is now for Double D to roar,
Spinners’ back in town, that’s what’s goin’ down, can’t wait to get back on the floor.
I’ve missed you all, and playing hockey with the ball, every Tuesday at Kapusta Kow,
I’ve done my blog in rap, cause I don’t give a crap, I’m back!…that’s all I have for now.
Fans have already noticed the daylight hours have shortened and players are beginning to comment the Kapusta is no longer the sweltering sauna it had been mere weeks earlier. Trees are losing their leaves, and the ones left are dramatically bursting into hues reminiscent of another slumbering fall season. With a lack of NHL hockey, Tomcats coffers are beginning to overflow with the fans packing the Kapusta to the max in their quest to watch quality hockey. This past Tuesday they were not disappointed, and in fact fans were treated to the third consecutive mini tournament of the season with the three teams Captained, and lining up as follows:
Wearing Yellow and lead by Chevy were Sunny, Rocky, Soupy, Cribz and Razor backstopping
Wearing Black and Captained by Snowpants were Labamba, Bulldog, Sparky, Mez, Doc and Skippy in net
Last, wearing White marching behind Stevo were Hollywood, Yuri, Zaba, Hurricane and Falcon in net.
Yeah, I did the same thing when I saw the conclusion of the picks; I quietly muttered “How was Chevy allowed to put together such a dynamic team?” I mean talk about quality…I think Yellow had arguably most of the top goal scorers and defenders in the game. I guess it will come as NO surprise Chevy and his Yellow squad ended with a 3-1-0 record and 13GF, 4GA, plus 9 and Razor turning in another ridiculous 1G.A.A performance, and in the process knotching 2 more shutouts. Their only real close competitors; Snowpants and his pesky crew, who while starting off slow with back to back loses, ended the tourny on back to back wins; which were both shutout performances by Skippy.
On paper, and even in some of Snowpants picks, the odds right out of the gate looked bleak. Doc said it best when he commented, “We gotta be the workhorses, those blue collar gritty guys that grind out the wins – Let’s embrace being the underdogs!” Those ‘underdogs’ went 2-2-0 with 6GF, 5GA and a plus 1. Skippy nearly matched the play of Razor and ended with a 1.3GAA on the night.
Falcon, and Stevo’s White squad unfortunately did not fair well at 1-3-0 with 3GF, 11GA and a minus 8. Not a spectacular mini at all, Zchabba would later comment, “We just obviously couldn’t score, and to really have a chance in these timed tournaments you gotta post a score of 2 or more and have your goalie keep it under 2. That doesn’t mean Stevo picked bad, or Falcon had an off night, teams win or lose as that – a team.”
And YES, I said timed games, being the Kapusta was graced by the fine workmanship of Sparky and his glorious Blue Clock creation. Players already noticed there were some minor tweaks yet to be made, such as a Tomcats logo in both upper corners; which may have lead to the ensuing scramble to plaster the clock with sponsors. The ‘offender’ was quickly reprimanded, and the hastily scrawled black marker advertisement was quickly erased. Mercifully, it was able to be erased, as while the thought was genuine, it seemed to desecrate Sparky’s masterpiece; which is why I am giving him my pick as Platinum player of the game. JOB WELL DONE SPARKY, players and fans for years to come will fondly remember your handy work.
Speaking of other colours, the three star selection: Gold, Silver and Bronze, went to Soupy, Razor and Skippy respectively. All well deserved, and a first ever featuring two goalie selections. While you continue to look fondly at the changing colours outside your window, and continue to watch your favourite Tomcats players, I will quietly be in the stands looking for that special someone to put their HANDZONMECAC.
Yuri.
Bulldog notches the first goal on the scoreboard
Legend, lore and whispers heard in the night busily recount “facts” associated with the stereotypical serial killer; such as their stashes of trophies taken from past victims. The Tomcats sport a quiet unassuming killer. It’s been said he’s been watching in the shadows studying under the great Razor. Some say when he uses a certain brand of dish soap his hands drip the colour of blood red. Others say the rings of past tournaments glory glow an eerie gold hue, and he’s constantly rubbing at the empty fingers missing their feel of victories. Razor has a hand full of rings, one for each finger I’m told; and Falcon has been eying those fingers ever so quietly.
Last night he collected another mini tournament win, combining with his team mates to post a 2-1-1 record (9 GF – 4GA PLUS 5) and notching two shut outs which helped him to an impressively miniscule 1.0 G.A.A on the night. 1.0 G.A.A- scary indeed, scary good! I’ve said it in the past, the funny thing with mini tournaments is the spotlight either tends to be focused on the goaltenders or the captains who picked the teams. With Beep getting his first nod at a Captains spot, everyone focused on the captains and teams selected.
Backed by an impressive roster, and Skippy having an outstanding night, Beep only lost out on winning his first mini tournament by that pesky plus minus rule; which ultimately favoured Sunny’s Black Devils by a mere 3 goals. The road to a near win was fraught with difficulties considering Beep’s squad lost 1-0 in their first game, and the second – a 1-1 tie required several looks under the replay booth hood by Cribz who reffed. The delay was a spirited discussion as to whether Junior, now back in the fold playing as hard nosed as ever; actually kicked one in past an outstretched Razors pad. I’m not sure, but just before the verdict came in of ‘GOAL’, I swear I heard Junior snarl, growl, swear and threaten to “smash shit.” Hey, every team needs those hard-nosed players who are willing to dig in the corner and go where other players wouldn’t dare; which is a wonder why more calls don’t go against him.
After that Beep rallied his squad and they riffled off back to back wins with Skippy ending the night on a high with his first ever mini tournament shut out. When all the fans had left I caught up with Beep and asked him about Captaining in a mini and if, as a newer player he had difficulty lining up his team. “Well I’m getting to know the boys better and better each week; and after I picked some players I knew by name I said screw it and took whatever players were left.” Great hockey sense, the ability to notch high light reel goals and the ability to quietly lead, it was no surprise Beep got the first star nod; which by no means was a bone thrown to him as a result of coming so close to winning.
After the winners and stars were chosen, players discussed the apparent increase in what has been described as “chippy play”, and more specifically management clamped down on protecting their core of goaltenders by introducing new fines for “Captain hackey” players. It’ll now set you back a cold 6 pack for hacking at the tenders, and the hacking on the floor will still rest with Stevo yelling out “PLAY THE BALL”.
I love the fact management has predicted next week will feature another mini, and I love even more the captains who will select: Snowpants, Shovey and Steve O; classy, all captains begin with an “S”. I can’t wait to see if a mini does in fact break out what those team names are. I’m also hopeful fans and players will see the unveiling of the long awaited new electronic scoreboard.
Until next week, I’m going to try and catch up with Phil Landerer and see if any of his collection of hot chicks want to be Pattyn MEGRYOIN.
Pattyn, filling in for Yurri.
The night: Devils night.
The time: Around 6:50(they are supposed to start at 6:30).
The event: The Official Devils Night Mini Tourney!
The captains: Soupy, Husky Eyes and first time ever captain for a mini, Beep!
Once the teams were picked everybody was ready to go. Beep’s White Devils featured; Beep, Rocky, Snowpants, Junior, The Rake, Killer, and Zippy Skippy in between the pipes. Soupy’s Yellow Devils sported; Soupy, Cribz, Hurricane, The Doc, Yuri, lacing the pads was Razor, and making his seasonal debut last night with a gorgeous beard was Lovie. The night belonged to Sunny’s Black Devils, who were: Sunny, SteveO, Shovey, Hollywood, Sparkaroony, and wearing the equipment was the Falcon.
All three goalies played exceptionally well last night! It really could have been any team’s tournament. The White Devils were tied for overall points. The Rake was heard questioning “how did the Black Devils win exactly?” Black was tied for points with White, but had a better +/- ratio.
Three stars as selected remotely by LaBamba were; Beep with the first star, Snowpants number two, and Hollywood three (personally he looked like he ate three or four plates of food at an all you can eat buffet, running around with cramps last night).
At the press conferences after the game, it was announced “Moving forward, if you slash a goalie, you get a six pack fine.” Right away, Killer was overheard telling the Rake, and Chevy telling Snowpants, and Doc telling SteveO, something about one or two preemptive six packs in their lockers or vehicles to have on hand. Everybody assumed that the Hurricane would bring in a keg every week for the amount that he slashes! The decision came after a fair amount of chippy play that arises at these mini tournaments. Remember, everybody has to go to work the next day and “you are supposed to have fun!”
Some interesting tidbits of information; Killer did his impersonation as Zorro, and pouched Sunny, and left a K impression on his unit. Beep did not, in fact, look out of place not wearing his purple outfit! A reminder was sent out to all, about the Christmas party, November 30th. Please let Sunny or Hollywood know ASAP if you are in, or out. Snowpants, being his usual social butterfly self, was talking to a handful of Tomcats and was talking about holidays and such. He went to throw out this question, “do you guys know what the best holiday is?” Before anybody could answer Turk yells out “Superbowl!”
Speaking of the Turk. He announced he will be launching a new nutritional meal/eating plan! What is it called?…“Body by Turk.” What is involved? “Not much, you maintain your regular diet but you add spam to everything!” Spam shakes, Spam on a bun, grilled Spam, deviled Spam, Spam Jello, Spam skewers, Spamburgers, pickled Spam, Cabbage rolls and Spam……….. The possibilities are endless. While everybody is now thinking of the old Monty Python sketch. The Turk quickly added in “the best part is you never have to add salt!” Apparently he has a huge deal with some infomercials, and the shopping network, also a couple of cookbooks. The Turk is well on his way with his “Body by Turk“ diet!
Next weeks captains for the mini have already been chosen…they will be Snowpants, Shovey and SteveO. Beep was also named Minister of Mini Tournaments, moving forward. I really wanted to ask Shamus about how he felt about this, but nobody knows where he is?
Hold on to your girlfriends and wives! Phil Landerer thanks you for reading!
Just like the engineers at Apple can’t seem to keep new products from being leaked, neither can the engineers of the new Tomcat Scoreboard/Clock. Sources indicate a credible source has released the following video on YouTube which shows the yet-to-be unveiled masterpiece developed by Dr. I.M Sparky, Ph.d and his team of MIT graduates. Rumor has it the clock will be gracing the Kapusta Kow floor very soon…
