Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

White Knights: May Day, Hurricane, Stevo, Falcon, Skippy, Snowpants, The Matador, Sunny and Killer

Black Demons: Lovie, Spinner, Chevy, Soupy, Mez, Hollywood, Razor, Doc and Sparky

Black Demons take it, 5-3, 1-2, 3-2.

The International Space Station (ISS) orbits the Earth at nearly 22 times the speed of sound, fast enough to get it from Vancouver to St. John’s N.L. in under 15 minutes. Not much different on the Kapusta Kow floor as it seemed no one celebrated Christmas and instead just worked out and played hockey. Both Falcon and Razor had stellar games, with Falcon flashing the leather on a number of occasions and the hockey was fast and furious!

Soupy made the teams. It was the first time for Soupy to make teams and he did a super job. “I was a bit nervous at first, but I did what I could. I know there is a formula and I need to work on it.  I think I will even do better next week” A smiling Soupy said. Total goals were 9 for Black and 6 for White, so pretty close if you ask this writer.

A good brand of hockey was played with fair play all around, no pushing, hacking or wacking.

May Day made his season debut and was whistling the shots at the opponents net. “Great to see May Day Back, “indicated Snowpants, who is May Day’s roommate on road games, “we got to be on the same team today and he gave me some sweet passes, nice to have him back” Snowpants concluded.

Next week the draft goes after hockey, for the February tournament.

NEW CAPTAINS:

With Bearcat on the I R and with his prognosis too close to call come tournament time, The Danish will replace him as a net minder come tournament time. The League, therefore has also decided to make three new Captains, keeping May Day the Captain of his defending Championship Marauders and adding Cribzie, Hollywood and Chevy, whilst pulling  goalies Skippy and Falcon as Captains for this year. “I did not feel confident enough in the drafting abilities of The Danish to make him a Captain, so we are going with three new Captains, Cribzie, Hollywood and Chevy, the goalies will have their chance as Captains in years to come”. stated Commission Rex Albert.

The order of the draft was determined on Tuesday January 8, May Day keeps his first pick of course, but all his players are returning. Second pick goes to Chevy (wearing Yellow) Third pick as selected by Skippy for Cribz (wearing white) and the Hollywood Hookers select fourth wearing black.

PLAYERS IN THE TOURNAMENT; LATEST
Hurricane, Sparky, Cribzie, Sunny, Rake, Eagle, Stevo, Beep, Willie, Snowpants, Chevy, Chico,. Bulldog, Spinner, Rocky, Junior, Lovie, La Bamba, Zchabba, Doc, The Matador, Hollywood,, Razor, Skippy, Falcon, Crow, Jingles, May Day, Crazy Joe, The Danish  

PLAYERS WHO HAVE DECLINED THE OFFER TO PLAY:
Fuzzy, Crispy, The Turk, Soupy, Killer, Bearcat., Bubbles and Mez.

PLAYERS WE HAVE NOT HEARD FROM:
Youngblood

NHL HOCKEY POOL

Tomcat NHL Hockey Pool will go Tuesday, January 22 right after hockey.  $11.00 is the cost.

SEPTEMBER 21 BIRTHDAY PARTY

Hollywood is inviting all Tomcats to his 40th Birthday Party, Saturday September 21.

SUNNY SHORTS

Sunny is taking last minute orders for Shorts, see him or you will be disappointed!

IN ENDING

There was a problem with the Sparky Clock tonight but, technicians were working on it and plan to have it all repaired for next Tuesday.

As the clock counts down, 5-4-3-2-1…can I put my Harry Ballsonue?

The second half of the season starts tonight!  Catch May Day’s return into the lineup, along with fan favorites Snowpants, Lovie and The Matador.

The Beer Bringers: LaBamba (initiation Case) Zabba (24)

Net Minders: Razor, Falcon and Skippy

Not in Line Up (That we know): The Turk, Mez, Crow, Rocky

Uncertain of in the line up: Lovie, La Bamba, May Day

Injured Reserve: Youngblood

In The Line Up: Rake, Sparky, Junior, Cribzie, Hollywood, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Jingles, Sunny, Beep, Soupy, Killer, Snowpants, Hurricane, Bulldog, Zcabba, the Matador.

The Skinny: 23 players that we know are to play (that includes the 3 net minders) however….that does not include Lovie, (Child Care??) La Bamba (Travel??) and May Day (Clearing Waivers??).

But here is the Dealio, We need you to read this little segment and let Stevo know if there are any errors. If we have you in as playing then don’t worry your pretty little head.

Tomcat Christmas Present still to be given to: Chevy, Hurricane, Bulldog, Bearcat, Junior, May Day, La Bamba, Youngblood.

Tomcats Wish You and Yours: Tomcats wish you the best in 2013 and can’t emphasize the importance of fair play so no injuries occur and that we can all golf together in June with no one in a cast.

TOMCATS FOREVER!

By Harry Ballsonue

Here is the list of guys that we know are playing in the tournament….Hurricane, Sparky, Cribzie, Sunny, Rake, The Eagle, Stevo, Beep, Willie, Snowpants, Chevy, Bulldog, Spinner, Rocky, Junior, Lovie, La Bamba, Zchabba, Doc, the Matador, Hollywood, Razor, Skippy, Falcon, Crow, Chico, Jingles, May Day.  If your name is Here and you are not playing, then you should let Stevo know right away!

Waiting to hear about/from: Bearcat, Mez, Youngblood.

Have sent their regrets: Fuzzy, Crispy, The Turk, Soupy, Bubbles and Killer.

Right now, as it stands, we have three goalies, and a total of 28 players. That works out to: 2 teams have seven and one team with 6. It is noted that the Belle River Mauraders had 8 players last year and will keep their 8 players this year.  If Bearcat comes in the fold, that increases the players to 29, giving all three teams 7.  If Mez say yes to play, that will give one team  8 players and two teams will  have 7, unless someone is show cased.  BUT, if Skippy has a baby and cannot play, and if Mez wants in, then Chico will go in net and three new Captains will be selected, and May Day would stay Captain of his team…Chico cannot be a Captain as he does not know the players. It has to be fair for everyone.

Another Option would be to have The Danish to play in Net and Chico would play out, Goalies once again could not be Captains as the Danish is not as familiar with the players as Razor or The Falcon. (The Danish has indicated that he is willing to play and is available if Skippy goes into labour and or Bearcat is unable to play due to injury).

Crazy Joe is a goalie and could be utilized, but he is on his honeymoon.

Captains could be Rocky, Cribzie and Stevo, a very good showing (Captaining-Wise) by all three at the Christmas Mini Tournament.

The Deadline is January 22.  That is only 19 days away, will go with what we have and if one team is short, then so be it.

We have guys who can play in net and we have enough for a tournament, just not sure if it will be 8-7-7-6 players or 8-7-7-8. 

Stay tuned.

If you do not have a headache after reading the above, consider reading on……..

I have it on good authority that the Tomcats are looking at bringing back May Day.  He is at a Double A team in Las Vega, getting ready and the Tomcats have slotted him in for January 8 as the day they want to insert him into the line-up. You will recall that they traded for his rights from the Sault Ste. Marie Bassett Hounds.

Hockey starts rolling again January 8, right now, only Crow, La Bamba, The Turk and Mez are not able to make it. If you know you are unable to make it out on the first night of 2013, then you are suppose to get a hold of Stevo.

The Windsor Tomcats would like to wish the entire Tomcat family a Happy New Year! Enjoy the festivities and make sure you have a DD. 2012 was a great year…first Tilston Cup game, successful 2012 tournament, the Outdoor Classic, the introduction of the Sparky Clock, inagural Christmas party with wives/girlfriends, etc. Here’s to an even better 2013!

See everyone at the Kapusta next Tuesday!

Twas a few days left till Christmas and all thru the Kapusta, not a Tomcats players pitter-patter was heard or Killer would have mowed them down. Stevo, The Rake and Shovey have also heard the refs whistle blow, for the trips, hacks and whacks delivered down low.

The newest franchise player Beep is quick, leaving fans to argue, who’s quicker, Snowpants or him? After several views using the cameras from above, people were still squinting and shrugging; unable to determine the two blurs from anything but snow fuzz.

The Goalies Razor and Falcon were seen raising a glass and reminiscing about one another’s career, whilst Skippy, The Danish, Chico, and Bearcat could be heard wishing for the coveted spot of playing as the number one or two.

The Turk and Hollywood were huddled close, and what exactly happened in that corner no one will ever know.

Players making Santa’s bad list might be Junior, Jingles and Spinner; but with a few days left till Christmas I still have hope they’ll get gifts yet.

Doc, The Matador and Zschabba may not be thought of as scoring guys, but each will tell you things are much different outside.

Lovie, Soupy and everyone else left quietly began to sing the Tomcats song, and fans were seen weeping with joy.

As the last light faded, and the snow began to fall, Stevo our fearless leader quietly spoke, “I really love the Tomcats, and I will see each of you shortly, back out on the floor”.

Yurri , the Elf

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

Also, check back tomorrow to read the latest article from Yurri the Elf!

By Harry Ballsonue

Cribzie’s Wise Men: Cribzie, Sunny, Matador, Snowpants, Zabba, Sparky, Jingles, Skippy
Rocky’s Reindeer: Rocky, Beep, Spinner, Falcon, Crazy Joe, The Turk, Doc (Bulldog was suppose to be here but never showed up or called?????)
Stevo’s Sleigh’s: Stevo, Lovie, Soupy, Hollywood, Razor, Mez, Chico, Rake and Killer

‘December 1963 (Oh What A Night)’ by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, it’s a song, not a Porn Movie. So the Tomcats now have the same thing, no, no porn movie or song, but a special night where 24 players played, Santa Stevo handed out Tomcat Ball Caps to everyone and the Tomcats enjoyed some pizza and beer after hockey, with most of the guys sporting their new ball caps.

There’s nothing better than a cold beer and holiday cheer with the boys after the final 2012 Tuesday night hockey!

Hockey went like this:

                        W L  T  GF  GA  +/-  Pts.
Reindeer      4  0  0  11  3      +8   8
Sleigh’s          2  2  0  6    5      +1   4
Wise Men     0  4  0  2  13     -11  0

Rocky’s Reindeer take the Mini with a commanding 8 points and a plus 8.

Three star selection, as selected by La Bamba, went to the three guys who had the best attendance record for the year, by not missing a single night, the three were Stevo, Soupy and Snowpants, (all nick names beginning with S by the way)

I thought the hockey was good, and the Reindeer arrived at the win, over all, by winning all 4 games, however, why they only stayed at 2 spares for the entire night, remains somewhat of a conundrum. If on a Tuesday night, you have no tournament, just two teams, and one team has two spares and the other has 4, do you think for a moment, the games would be played like that? “Hey Stevo, we have 2 spares and you have 4, let’s even it up”, someone would say, would they not? Most definitely a player from the one team would go over to the other. But, this was not the case for the Reindeer; they played with their two spares and did not ask for another player. “I think, the reindeer, missed the point of the night, of any night. Everyone is to have a fair share of playing time. This is not about winning, this is about exercise and fun, I am a bit miffed at the Reindeers resolve here,” Stevo had indicated.

The Alumni was represented by Rexy, The Legend and Sea Lion. The Sea Lion had reffed the Mini Tournament and it should be noted, that Rexy, for no good reason, except, ‘Just Because’, brought a 28 of Alexander Keith’s for the Tomcats to enjoy….Thank you boys for pitching in.

Whilst, back in the Tomcat Club, speeches were heard. Stevo thanked all the Tomcats for coming out this year and wished everyone a Merry Christmas and a ‘Tomcats Forever’, at which time, the ‘Tomcats Forever’ song was belted out. (many laughs, YES! and a jolly old time) even Beep sang along, now knowing most of the words.

Hockey starts back up January 8, 2013

One final thing, just another observation, but there were three pieces of pizza left, and they were all from the Hawaiian pizza, just saying (it is a tropical plant with edible fruit consisting of coalesced berries).

St. Felix (February 2013) issue should be out later this week too, keep your eye out for that.

So as you leave that piece of Pizza with the Pineapple behind, may I put my Harry Ballsonue?

By Harry Ballsonue

White Cardinals:  Sunny, Soupy, Zcahbba, Beep, Hollywood (G) The Turk, Killer
Black Knights:  Razor (G), Bulldog, Spinner, Lovie, Rocky, Stevo, Snowpants and Crazy Joe

The games could not have been closer, with the Black Knights scoring one goal more over all, but it was tied, when it came to games won and games tied. It went like this, 4-4 tie, then Black Knights win 5-2, then the White Cardinals take it, 4-2, so you see, very close. Two 30 minute games (timed) and then a 15 minute game, (timed with the new Sparky Clock)

The hockey was good and I would say, one of the finer nights for finesse and skill.  Both goalies rocked the joint out, but Hollywood was unbeatable in the first game and truly, sorry White Cardinals, but Hollywood held you in the first game.

Hollywood was outstanding in net …a reincarnation of Kelly Hrudy…even looks like him!

Special mention also should go out to Spinner, who finally got back into the line up from being on the I.R. with a severe respiratory infection that was thought to be a number of things. Spinner notched a hat trick in the second game, leading his time to the 5-2 victory. “I took short shifts and I felt good out there, I was happy to see that I still had my shot” a beaming Spinner indicated.

“I sure like having him out there, he is my go to guy and has been for years, I love looking for him and getting him the ball”, indicated Stevo, who played a clean game and racked up a number of assists on the night.

It should be mentioned that Crazy Joe, who is not even a part time Tomcat, brought out a 15 pack of Bud Light, ‘just because’.  “I like that in a kid”, indicated Snowpants, “that is a good way to get recognized in a positive way and soon enough you will be in the lineup full time”. Snowpants suggested. 

Just having Lovie on the Kapusta Kow floor seemed magical enough, with Christmas just around the corner. Then to have him up on stage, telling stories and laughing, well, “It was another Festivus miracle”, Hollywood said.

With Stevo keeping his calm and wearing a ‘Respect Yourself, Respect Others” bracelet, one had to wonder what is Stevo going through in his life.  MRI Results on his Right Knee, showed Moderate to Severe Degeneration Joint Changes, but there are no tears in the meniscus and no tears in the ligaments, just old age setting in on poor old Stevo. “no surgery, no rehab, he just can’t jump up and down and should not be running, so his knee does not keep taking a pounding”, team Doctors indicated. Oh well,” that’s good then, right, no running, he hardly ever runs on the floor and he never back checks, so he should be ok”, indicated old time friend and team mate The Hurricane. 

A bit of a piss off….Beeps’ car had been broken into in the parking lot. So a reminder from the Police, keep articles out of your vehicle so these low life’s do not consider breaking a window for a duffle bag that maybe sitting in your car.

Tomcat Christmas Party next Tuesday, everything provided by the Tomcats….all you need is $10 for pizza, which  have been  ordered by the Acting Minister of Pizza, The Turk,  Zcabba who is assisting the Turk said, “I was surprised he ordered a Hawaiian” to which the Turk responded, “That’s for the fags” , stated The Turk.  Too Funny! 

For next week, please make sure you have a Designated Driver.

Hey you fag, as you are eating your Hawaiian Pizza …..I will put my Harry Ballsonue

By Harry Ballsonue

Stevo has appealed his 6 game suspension, for his vicious attack on The Rake and with that, the league has no choice but to reinstate him. “We don’t think the appeal will be heard until the new year some time, so Stevo is good to go for now,” stated League Commissioner Rex Brennan.

Harry Ballsonue in his blog, ‘High Tension Lead to a Suspension”. has already broken down the teams that recently dueled it out, and he was the first out of the gate to point out that the games despite a non tournament format, featured the use of Sparky’s clock.  The Buckeyes, who for the most part wound up on the short end of Beep’s and every other White Knights stick, adamantly are wishing for the return of games ending at a score of 7.  During the first game shellacking the Buckeyes lost 10-4, there were many a player wishing the game had ended at 7.  If it had, the score would have been much more respectable, even with the loss.  The Buckeyes also learned the old hockey rule of NOT passing it up the middle still holds true.  Virtually every pass sent up the middle by any Buckeye player was picked off, and was followed with a quick goal. 

With a timed game element, it was truly a interesting game from the goal keepers perspective, as each game had the feel of a tournament.  Had this been a tourny, Falcon would have been the clear winning goalie, posting a 2-0-1 record with a 2.6G.A.A.  Despite the non tourny, my recent blog regarding “Tournament Two’s” still holds true. I did a little more digging regarding the classic one-two punch of Razor and the Falcon, and to date I have Razor just edging out the Falcon for the win-loss on the season.  That being said, stats in general are very difficult to figure out from a goalies perspective, considering the amount of mini tournaments played to date, and the bevy of ‘fill in’ goalies including Skippy, Bearcat and Chico.  Sources have already whispered both Skippy and Falcon will be out next week, which has left management calling up Chico to play.

Lastly, I must comment on the “Suspension” to Stevo.  While every Tomcat knows to “Play the ball”, hockey fans also know any game played on the Kapusta brings out the competitiveness of all the players. Never before in Tomcat history, that I know of, has a member been suspended.  Typically there may be fines imposed, and I think that’s the better course here.  Whispers have been heard in the dressing room of Stevo speaking of retirement and needing other players to step up and lead the organization.  Could that have anything to do with a lengthy suspension?  Maybe the reasoning was a suspension would allow management and stakeholders to see if the Tomcats could indeed survive without their franchise player.  I say Stevo will not retire until the completion and celebration of the upcoming 25th year anniversary.  And since Stevo is a fan and player favourite, I’m hoping the suspension is reversed into some drinking fine….he can also appeal his suspension, if he appeals his suspension, the league would have to let him play games until the appeal is heard, at the time of writing this blog I was told that no appeal had been launched.  So, levy a fine of beer, and a bottle of Rye, because every Tomcat knows it’s better to drink one’s sorrow away as opposed to simply erasing a player for a few games.

That’s what I think, and any decision which is different will cause me to have management remove their HANDZONMECAC.

Yurri

By Harry Ballsonue

White Knights: Rake, Chevy, Soupy, Falcon, Matador, Beep, Rocky, Jingles and Mez.
Buckeyes Wearing Black: Razor, Hollywood, Stevo, Junior, Bulldog, Skippy, Cribzie and Snowpants.

The White Knights take the night, 10-4, 4-3 and the third game ended up in a tie 1-1.

The White Knights had some great chances and capitalized, where the Buckeyes wearing Black seemed to put it on Beep’s stick all night long. “If only Beep was on our team,” chuckled  Snowpants, who was his enthusiastic self on the Kapusta Kow Floor.

“They obviously had a better team and took advantage of their opportunities,” indicated Bulldog.  He then added, “we came close in the second game and tied them in the third, but I know, close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades,” Bulldog concluded.

One White Knight that deserves lots of recognition is Jingles, four goals on the night, with three that almost caused the need for the repairman to get out and fix the mesh on the net. “I really did feel my old self out there, after coming off that injury at the start of the season,  I was just happy to contribute tonight,” Jingles indicated.

“I felt good out there last night…all the tips I got at the Chevy School for Shooters really paid off'” exclaimed Jingles.

On a serious note, although no penalty was assessed on the play, Stevo, has been suspended by the league for 6 games for a vicious trip on The Rake, in front of the Rakers net. “That bush league play was uncalled for,” indicated an angry Matador and continued, “he should get 25 games for that stunt, I was ready to duke it out with him and protect my teammate.”

The league looks down on plays of that nature and they see no choice but to suspend him for six games or until January 8, 2013.

“It was a stupid move on my part, frustration set in and I apologized to Rake after.  He had done nothing to me and I took out my poor performance on an innocent player,” a disheartened Stevo said and then continued, “Here I am trying to be a leader and lead by example and I am making a bone head play like that, inexcusable.  I deserve the suspension,” Stevo Concluded.

Although no three star selection was made, due to it not being a tournament, three members of the White Knights all deserve recognition, they are The Falcon, Soupy, and of course Jingles.

The time clock was used for the very first time in games that did not involve a tournament and two 30 minute games were played and then a 10 minute game. “I liked it a lot,” stated Junior, “I think it was a great idea to use the clock on a night like tonight and make them all timed games,” Junior concluded.

Too bad Stevo’s High Tension lead to a suspension and put a tamper on the night.

Let me suspend my Harry Ballsonue Stevo!