Windsor Tomcats

Beer Bringers: Chevy (24) Cribz (12)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Chico
In The LIne Up: Crow, The Rake, Rocky, Cribzie, The Turk, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Jingles, Lovie, Sunny, Beep, Soupy, Snowpants, Hurricane, May Day, Zabba, La Bamba, The Matador, Hollywood
On Injured Reserve: Youngblood
Not In The Line Up: Skippy, Sparky, Killer, Flintstone, Junior.
Captains: To Be Determined
Refs: The Bundura and The Sea Lion
The Skinny: With less then a week remaining before the tournament, looks like 24 players are ready to play, so it is Mini Tournament Time. Tournament Refs are being brought in, ‘to get a feel for the game’ and Chico gets the nod in net, in case Skippy is unable to make it, due to the birth of his child.

Doc’s party is still set for March 2 and invitations have been handed out. Anyone needing an invite is asked to see Stevo.

IF you know at this very moment you are not able to play, why not get a hold of Stevo right now, instead of waiting till Tuesday at 5p.m.

Tomcats Forever.

Word has already reached procrastinating fans that there are no tickets left to the upcoming annual Tomcats Tournament.  Fans who have secured the standing only stubs have reportedly already been seen in the Kapusta Kow parking lot looking to select the best place to squat and secure the elusive ‘best’ seat.

Sources have also heard that as of February 15th Mrs. Skippy has reached full term.  Further information has been gathered in which the gynocologist was overheard saying, “Theoretically I’d have my bags ready because after Friday you could go anytime.”

This information was shared with Spinner via the Tomcats 24hour player web cast, and he commented, “Well, I guess if Skippy missed the tourny; or worst yet had to run out on the tourny the Tomcats would forgive him – I would only find it hard to do the same if we were winning to the point he had to leave.  It will be a real tough spot too for Chico to have to come in like that; I hope the best for Mrs. Skippy – but do us all a favour and wait till after the tourny.”

With the date closing in, now is the time to update fans and participants alike in the Skippy birth pool; which was graciously run on behalf of the couple by Snowpants.  Mrs Skippy later stated, ” I was really touched by the support of the Tomcats family, what a great group of guys!”  “I can’t thank Snowpants enough for helping us out, hence he will soon be introduced to our little one as Uncle Snowpants.”

The pool in a small snapshot looks as follows:

February 17th – Nicole at 0600-noon
18th – Yuri at Midnight-6AM
19th – Carrie at Noon-6PM
20th – Mez at Midnight-6AM
21st -Rake at Midnight-6AM
22nd – Stevo at Midnight-6AM and Grace C at 6AM-Noon
23rd – Matt at 6PM-Midnight

A weekly update will be sent after the 23rd – Good luck to all involved!!  And until after the tourny I’m sure I can convince Cribz to put his HANDZONMECAC.

Yuri

That Harry, he’s exceptionally quick at getting out the results from recent Tomcats games; which undoubtedly keep the Tomcats fans happy as is evidenced by the web site stats (Closing in on 20000!!).  But you know who is even quicker – BEEP!!  Just like in the classic Bugs Bunny Road Runner shows of old, all poor old Wile E Coyote; and the remainder of The Leopards team who Beeps squad played first, could only watch as 15 seconds into the game – BEEP SCORES!!!! 

Slow-motion footage of Beep as he approaches the net.

I do believe this is a Tomcats record, and The Matador indeed as a first time mini tournament Captain made an excellent choice in the rising superstar.

Harry has laid it out for teams and stats, but I do dispute the numbers.  While I had the same win/lose, tie and final points, I had The Bulls and Leopards even at Goals for and against.  By my count each team was 10GF and 7GA with the identical records of 2-1-1; but as The Bulls beat the Leopards in the very first game 4-2, they ended up as tournament winners.  Soupy of the Leopards later lamented, “Man, that’s just wrong, ‘cause The Mustangs beat the Bulls and we crushed the Mustangs with a shut out – guess that first game really played a significant factor in the end”.

One of the three stars on the night went to Hollywood, who filled in at goalie and truly showed he still has the stuff.  In the past I had noted this as well and still stick to my position as Hollywood being one of the best three way players in the game today; forward, defense or goal; Hollywood is sure bet to get it done.

As Falcon did get the only shut out on the night critics will argue he was a good selection at the number two spot, but I think Stevo was snubbed even despite his minor missteps, which included catching a goalie and using him AKA Snowpants style to sweep the floors, the ‘hack?’ on a goalie behind the net, or the “accidental” stick throw, Stevo as usual was a factor in most of the games The Mustangs played.  He was definitely a factor on the goal sheet when Beep on a very rare giveaway allowed Stevo a shot from the deadly slot area, beating poor Skippy once again and showing he still indeed has the “stuff”.  Later Stevo would comment on the night’s events, “I may have let my emotions get away from me and it has cost me some beer; but my passion for the game and Tomcats players is unquestioned.  I just hope with what I saw out there tonight the boys will remember to play the ball, and just have fun”.

Sources have heard The Biebs has become a Tomcats web surfer and in turn has been carefully reviewing news updates.  Apparently he recently tweeted, “Ok, I apologized for the tournament, but it’s real good to see some of the Tomcats players might have been a problem too”.

One thing is for certain…with the tournament a mere week away I predict several Tomcats will be missing this upcoming Tuesday’s game.  Speculation is that players missing will be keenly preparing for the tourny, and I know I certainly wouldn’t want to be reffing what is bound to be a very tightly contested matchup this year.  As I try to hack into the Tomcats satellite feed in preparation for the tourny, I will be Pattyn MEGROYN.

Pattyn

By Harry Ballsonue

Some pushing and shoving, Tomcat Tournament organizers are suggesting everyone read the rules, in preparation for the tournament, including the refs!

Did you know that legendary goalie Jacques Plante loved to knit! And that NHL overtime was eliminated during WWII, because there were restrictions on train travel, so they couldn’t risk going long and missing the one and only train that night. It was only reinstated in 1983-84 and that the great Howie Morenz was rumoured to have died of a broken heart after being told he would never play hockey again. Did you know that the Hurricane has played goalie at least once a year for the Tomcats for 22 years? Did you also know that next year (2013-14) season will the Tomcats 25th (2 as basketball and 23 as hockey)?

Teams:
The Matador Bulls; Captain, The Matador with, Beep, Snowpants, Sparky, Cribz, Skippy, Chico
The LaBamba Leopards: Captain, LaBamba with, Soupy, Spinner, Chevy, Falcon. Rake, Doc
The May Day Mustangs: Captain, May Day with Stevo, Flintstone, Jingles, The Turk, Hollywood

Standings:         W   L   T   GF  GA   +/-  Pts.
The Bulls             2    1    1   9     5      +4     5
The Leopards    2    1    1   10    7    +3    5
The Mustangs    1    3    0   6     12    -6     2

This was the Matador’s first time as a Captain, in a mini and congrats goes out to him and his team for finishing first in the tournament.

THE MATADOR TELLS A STORY:

“When I was younger and still a Matador in my native land of Spain, it was a custom that we, the Matadors would, on the Monday after the Bull fights on Sunday, for lunch, eat the bulls’ testicles.  One day, we were at the outdoor cafe in Madrid, ready to chow down, when I noticed that the testicles were a lot smaller…they still tasted good, but they were smaller.  I said to the waiter, ‘my friend, the testicles are smaller today.’ He replied, ” Yes Senior Matador…..not every time, does the Matador, win the bull fight.”

Back to hockey: 

In frustration with the referring, Stevo wheeled his stick, and that will cost him a 24. To be paid on the first night of hockey next year. “It was not just the reffing” a frustrated Stevo had said after the game, “I think I do so much for the game and someone yells at me ‘slap shot’, when I took a shot and it was not even close to being a slap shot, c’mon, that hurts, why do they yell that?”, Stevo concluded.

This reporter has been able to find out that, Crow is upset at himself for letting himself get so out of shape, he hopes to be able to play in the tournament, but does not know at what level.

“I plan to play, but having not played all year, puts me behind the 8 ball”. Crow

The three star selection, as selected by La Bamba, # 3 Hollywood, #2, Falcon, # 1 Beep.

Hollywood defiantly faced more shots than any other goalie on the night, but just did not seem to be able to make the 5th and 6th saves. In the NHL the goalie is expected to only make the first save.

Reffing came into question and I have learned through the league, that tournament referee, the Bundura, has been asked on 7 different occasions to come out to ref a Tuesday night, just to get a feel, but has not made an appearance to date.

Cribzie, head referee is asking that anyone who steps up to ref, not just go out there to blow the whistle once in a while, but to actually get engaged and take charge of the play and blow the whistle when it needs to be blown and make a call when a call needs to be made.

Invitations have been handed out to Doc and Jodi’s party. “I can’t wait for the foor”, the Turk indicated, I will go, just to see what that is all about.

Speaking of being blown, do you think on Thursday, Valentine’s Day, I can put my Harry Ballsonue?

Beer Bringers: Spinner (24) The Turk 12

Net Minders: Razor, The Falcon, Skippy

In The Line Up: The Rake, Sparky, Junior, Cribzie, The Turk, Hollywood, La Bamba, May Day, Lovie, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Jingles, Sunny, Mez, Killer, Snowpants, The Matador, Beep, Chico

Could be in the  lineup, so he can hone his skills for tournament, just needs one guy to cancel:  Flintstone

Not in Line Up: Crow, Rocky, Hurricane (in Aruba), Zchabba

Injured Reserve: Youngblood

Listed ‘Day to Day’: Soupy

On Honeymoon: Crazy Joe

Skinny: The Turk is bringing a 12, so get ready for IPA, Black Label, Red Cap or 50.

Free Beer: Don’t forget the Tomcats are providing the beer on Tournament Day.

Doc’s Party: Doc’s House Warming Party is Saturday March 2, get details from Doc re address and the start time.

Tomcats will be reviewing the Skip Jacks – Tomcat game and will be determining if they should be returning to the hooliganism that was displayed at the Skip Jack Stadium on January 27 of this year.

Tournament Reminder: Tournament is on Saturday February 23, and it starts at 8:30 a.m. Beer provided, but the cost is $20 for tournament, $10 for pizza and $$$ whatever your cost is for your individual team shirt. Let the Pizza Man, May Day know this Tuesday if you will be participating in the Pizza back at Purples.

And hey!!! If you know right now that you can’t make it this Tuesday, then let Stevo know now, instead of 5 p.m. Tuesday.

By Harry Ballsonue

In the 2010 Vancouver Games, (Olympics), did you know that 26.5 million Canadians, or 80 percent of the country’s population tuned in to watch the gold-medal game in men’s hockey. Slightly fewer at the Kapusta Kow on Tuesday night, but still a packed house, with one team with 3 spares and the other two with two spares.

The Canaries: Captained by Soupy, The rest of the team….Sunny, Rocky, Bulldog, Hurricane, Sparky, Hollywood
The White Doves: Captained by Chevy, The Rest of the team….LaBamba, Razor, the Turk, Jingles, Doc, the Rake, Killer
The Black Crows: Captained by Spinner, The rest of the team…. Beep, the Matador, Stevo, Snowpants, Falcon and Mez

Final Standings: W L T  +/-  Pts.
Canaries                       3 1 0  +3    6
Crows                            2 2 0  +2   4
Doves                            1 3 0  -5     2

The hockey was very good and the pace was fast. Things ran smoothly, with one exception…Ref Stevo counted a goal against the Canaries, when Jingles had scored. “The goalie, was turned around and fixing the net, I thought that is a nice kid, that goalie, if the net remains off, a goal won’t count. But the goalie was still turned around. He (the goalie) put the net in place and the other team shot and scored. If he had just pushed it off further or left the net where it was, the play would have been called dead,” Ref Stevo had said.

Then as the second period was about to begin, the goalie, being silly, moved the net over and would not start the game in the correct spot, after a warning, the Canaries got called for a delay of game. But in the end, it was the Canaries who took the tournament.

The Three star selection as selected by La Bamba, #3 Spinner, #2 Soupy and the number one star on the night, Sunny.

Speaking of Soupy, poor guy, had his knee buckle on him and he went down….after some medical treatment (ice pack) and an MRI (stood close to the score clock), he was back in the line-up for the next game. He hobbled, he hopped, he trotted, but you could see that the knee was still giving him some trouble. “We will monitor the situation and we’ll see how he will be tomorrow,” stated team doctors.

The Tomcats would also like to announce, free beer at the tournament. “We have about 7 cases right now,” stated Sparky and added, “so instead of having everyone bring beer (they still can if they want to), we’ll throw 3-4 cases on ice so that everyone can enjoy them,” Sparky concluded.

Doc and the Matador, the Ministers of Beverages and Ice, will take care of that on the day (see St. Felix for all portfolio’s and duties).

Quick reminder, that the St. Felix does come out every month and that EVERYONE is encouraged to read it. Special Agent Beep, has been assigned the task of reviewing The Windsor Tomcat internal communication policy to see how they can get everyone to always check the site and the St. Felix. There was a ‘situation’ last week, where an email was sent out to specific parties and the website blog, “What the Tomcats Know” also indicated that Stevo would not be around last week to field any cancellations. Well, sure as shit, Sunday night when he checked his phone, there was a cancellation on there…..

“We really don’t know what more we can do at this time”, indicated Windsor Tomcat Captain Rocky, “The web site is visited, but we need more to read the content and stay on top of the information being provided,” Rocky had said.

Only cancellation for next week, that we know of, is Crow, so if you cannot make it, let Stevo know. In the meantime, do you think, while you are enjoying your free Tomcat beer at the tournament, I can put my Harry Ballsonue?

In Charge; Steve-O
Welcome Back Kotter, ummm I mean Steve-O!

Beer Bringers;Lovie (24), Sparky (12)

Team Captains; Spinner, Chevy, Soupy

Net Minders; Razor, Falcon, and not Skippy (third goalie TBD)

In The Tomcat Lineup; Rocky, Sparky, Junior, MayDay, Hollywood, La Bamba, Steve-O, Rake, Zhabba, Beep, Sunny, Lovie,
Cribs, Doc, SnowPants, Matador, Bulldog, Killer, Hurricane, The Turk, Mez, Jingles.

Not In The Tomcat Line Up; Willie (Fred Flintstone)

Injured reserve; Youngblood

Skinny; Steve-O’s back looks like a mini for sure. If you cannot make it, be sure to make Steve-O or Hollywood aware,!
Text, email, phonecall, passenger pigeon, whatever!

Notable Notes; Doc fined a six pack for goalie slash! Matador was to bring his initiation case last week, but he totally forgot! He was gracious enough to want to run out and grab it.
Management insisted he just stick with his fine. The Rake was to provide a half box for Tuesday, called in not going to be there from the Tilston Cup game,
did not make beer arrangements (should be a fine)! Sparky scored a “Rake” like goal (on your own net), last Tues! Long clearing shot from defence on opposing team. Sparky stuck his foot out to kick the ball,
it deflected off of his foot, and past his own goalie, Skippy. Snow pants did one better, He could not figure out why he was all alone in front of the net? Uncovered, nobody around for twenty feet? Gets the ball, does a Denis Savard half spinorama,
blasts one, right past Razor, triumphantly! His own goalie!

Tomcats Forever

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

What a night of hockey!! After a some organizational snafus Rocky and Sparky, who were filling in for an absent Stevo (Rumoured to be in the Caribbean scouting new talent for Snowpants escort service), found that enough players had filed into the Kapusta and fans were treated to a mini tournament.  Considering there are just a few scant weeks left till the annual Tomcats Tourny, it provided players with a taste of what was to come.  And if the play on the night was any indication, what a tournament it’s going to be.  Arguably each respective Captain on this night centered their lines on defense, particularly considering there was only one game played which separated teams scores by more than one goal.  Even more striking statistically is that there was a mere 23 total goals scored on the night.

That being said, what I found most amusing, considering the recent Tomcats-Skipjacks game in which some heated exchanges took place, is that I’ve decided tourney’s of any colour simply bring out the competitive drive in all players.  Last night was no exception, and I think it’s the first in history where I recall the ref had to blow a play dead due to rough play in the corners.  When the whistle did blow, everyone looked around and I think missed the inevitable yell of Stevo’s voice saying, “Play the ball!”  Afterwards Rocky was seen sporting a new welt on his shins and he remarked he was contemplating returning to wearing shin guards.  I saw Skippy in the corner grinning as he was overheard muttering, “Guess the Skipjacks are not that bad after all.”

While Rocky may have a new welt, he also has another mini win under his belt as his team mates Soupy, Crazy Joe, Bam Bam (Fred Flintsone), Jingles, Sparky and Skippy lifted the Sparky’s Sparkplugs to a solid 3-0-1 performance on the night.  Cribz, a member of the Hollywood Hookers, consisting of Sunny, Snowpants, Chico, Hollywood, and Razor went 1-2-1, was particularly pleased to see Skippy seemed to have shaken off his recent tourney loss – and with a great effort on the night, claimed one of his first mini wins of the season; further eliminating that monkey off his back.  Afterwards Cribz remarked, “Tournaments are always a tough go, as a team you really got to pull it together, and while I drafted 3rd I think I put together a team which will challenge for Stanley’s Cup this year.” 

Doc’s Demons consisting of Doc, The Matador, Chevy, Yuri, Hurricane, and Falcon ended up with a disappointing 0-2-2 record.  Doc however remained upbeat and stated, “When it counts for the real tourney I think my teammates with the Chevy Sharks will prove to be contenders.”  On paper I have to agree with Doc.  Chevy has arguable put together a near dream team of Tomcats superstars; Beep (Who as I earlier predicted did in fact go 1st pick), Rocky, Sparky, Snowpants, Doc, Chico and Falcon.  A very solid looking team that I predict will be in the final game.  The tougher picks are deciding who will be there with them, but I gotta settle on Cribz Crown Royals or Hollywood Hookers as one of the two remaining teams who will see a chance at a cup; which means I am boldly predicting no repeat for The Mauraders. 

My contemplations consist of not yelling at Pattyn who filled in for me at the Tomcats-Skipjacks game – he missed the star selection!!  For the record it went Biebs, Falcon and Snowpants.  Snowpants was provided a t-shirt for 1st overall selection, which he discovered was a woman’s.  After his initial shock Snowpants stated, “I know I can rock out the leather pants, but I won’t be rockin this thing out – hopefully it’ll fit Mrs Snowpants.”

Last nights stars selected were Sparky, Snowpants and Soupy. 

Further contemplations consist of remarks I overheard from Rocky, who while watching the games was debating the Skipjacks game play which consisted of young players.  Rocky had a quick look at the Tomcats at the mini and figured the median age was probably pushing 36, which lead to thoughts of future plans consisting of recruiting new fresh blood.  “As an organization we have found some great new players like Beep, Chico and Crazy Joe, but we gotta start looking a bit younger; I really don’t know how much longer we’ll have some of the veterans.”  When Sparky overheard Rocky’s remarks he rebutted with, “I’m not ever hanging it up, cause when I do I’m sure I’ll begin to feel my real age.”

Regardless of the median age , the Tomcats have a healthy crop of players who are always eagerly anticipating a good Tuesday tilt; just as I am always looking for that special someone to place their HANDZONMECAC.

Yurri

In a rematch of the inaugural Tilston Cup between the Tomcats and the Skipjacks, the Tomcats proved youth and speed are no match for experience. The Tomcats take the best 2-of-3 10-8 and 10-7.

The lineups were all set and ready to go after weeks of careful planning and deliberation.

However, star player Beep was called off to Toronto at the last minute for some very serious meetings in his quest to become Canada’s Telecom Titan. As such, the team had to quickly adjust the lineup. It was decided to move Soupy to left wing and rotate Sunny and Snowpants at center, while carrying 3 full pairings of wingers. The defense would run with 5 players.

The first game was a back-and-forth battle with each team trading goals most of the way. The Tomcats looked a little out of sorts at the beginning trying to adjust to the much larger playing surface and extra player. Falcon took some time to adjust to the full NHL size net, but was able to come up huge on several occasions.

Unbeknownst to the Tomcats, the Skipjacks had really improved their star power since last year’s meeting. In fact, someone in the organization apparently has an in with the music industry and was able to convince Justin Bieber to take a break from his 2013 Believe Tour to play for the Skipjacks. Bieber, sporting number 13 and a backwards hat with the rim rolled up, quickly made himself known to the Tomcats. The little fella was involved in several ‘situations’ with various Tomcats for his less then sportsman-like play. Even the very level-headed and all-around great Tomcat, Lovie, had to show exception towards Bieber for his questionable play, which included a slash and cross-check. Bieber was acting quite tough towards Tomcats twice his size…fame and body guards will do that to a man. The referee had to warn both teams to ensure the play did not get out of hand. I must note that the entire Skipjacks team showed class and sportsmanship all night with exception of Bieber and one of his young croanies (also suffering from Napolean Complex).

Snowpants, unfazed by the pop idol’s presence (after all, Beiber can’t even hold Sammy Hagar’s shorts. let alone wear them) was on fire in the first game, accounting for 3 of the Tomcat goals. It appeared no team could gain more than a one goal lead for most of the game. Slappers were flying from all areas of the floor so the goalies had to stay on their toes. Good stops were made on both ends of the floor by Falcon and Skippy (for the Skipjacks). In the end, once play settled down, the Tomcats ability to the move the ball to the open player proved too much and were able to secure the first game 10-8.

Also of note, Cribz Jr was in the Skipjack lineup. The youngster showed speed and quickness all night which made us wonder if Cribz should be asking for a paternity test.

After a short break, the second game began, this time with Tomcat part-timer ‘The Danish’ taking up shop between the pipes for the Skipjacks. Falcon rolled again for the Tomcats as no backup goaltender was dressed for this event. The Tomcats came out fast in this game moving to 3-1 advantage. The Tomcats continued to keep their foot on the gas with some great play making by Sunny and Soupy. The defense played tough in front of the Falcon by blocking shots and keeping loose balls from lingering in front of the net. After stretching the lead to 6-3, the Skipjacks fought back with some quick unanswered goals to make it 6-5.

After a few more nicely set up goals by the Tomcats, Bieber, a true entertainer, decided it was time for his encore. As #13 tried to dig the ball out from behind Falcon’s net, he decided to drive the butt end of his stick into the ribs of Spinner. Spinner immediately took exception and another heated pushing match ensured. The referee wanted to call the game as he was concerned the tensions were getting too great. Sending Bieber backstage to the Greenroom where he could masturbate to a picture of a shirtless Usher, the teams decided to finish the game. Shortly thereafter the Tomcats riffled the final goal into the net to secure a 10-7 victory, and take the best of 3 series 2 games to none. The Tilston Cup Trophy stays with the Tomcats for another year and will be proudly displayed on the mantle at Casa de Snowpants.

Afterwards, a few of the Tomcats enjoyed some fine libations back on the Officer’s Mess, with Zschabba manning the bar. All-in-All it was good night of hockey and $200 dollars was raised for charity.

Signing off from Olde Sandwich Towne, I’m Hans Honerklit.

By Management

In Charge: Sparky, Rocky and Hollywood

Emails to note:
prenaud44@gmail.com
ccomartin5@cogeco.ca

Beer Bringers: Matador (initiation Case) and the Rake 12

Team Captains: Doc, Sparky and Hollywood

Net Minders:Razor, Falcon, Skippy

In The Tomcat Line Up: Sparky, Matador, Jingles, Junior, Sunny, Soupy, Cribz, Lovie, Mez, Chevy, Hollywood, The Turk, Spinner, Snowpants, Doc, Hurricane, Rocky, Killer, Crazy Joe, Chico and WIllie (Fred Flintstone)

On The Fence: May Day (exit Meeting with the Sault Ste. Marie Beagles)

Not In The Tomcat Line Up: Crow, Beep, Bulldog, La Bamba, Stevo, Rake, Zschabba

Injured Reserve: Youngblood

Skinny: Hollywood is back and is ready to play, the three Amigoes, Chico, Crazy Joe and Flintstone (we have just given Willie his new real Nick Name cuz he looks like Fred Flintstone) are in the line up.

Stevo is not in the line up, so if you cannot make it, DO NOT contact him, as he will not see your message until Sunday Feb 3 …..Contact Rocky, Sparky or Hollywood.

Good Luck to the Tomcats who are participating in the Tomcat-Skipjack Game….Make the Tomcat Nation Proud!

Tomcats Forever