Windsor Tomcats

Security made sure all five shirts were returned by the Key Limes

 

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Only 5 weeks left at the Kow!!!!

Beer Bringers: Snowpants (24) Beep (12)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Chico
In The Line Up: Rake,  Sparky, Junior, Rocky, Cribz, Zcabba, May Day, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Jingles, Sunny, Killer, Snowpants, Mez, Soupy, Hurricane, Matador
Injured Reserve: Lovie
Not In The Line Up: La Bamba, The Turk, Skippy, Hollywood, Crow, Beep
Captains: T.B.D.

The Nick Name Announcement: Crazy Joe’s new nick name is: Ogie (Oglethorpe) Congrats to Chico for selecting the name! Chico’s prize for selecting the name: Gets to play goalie on Tuesday!

The Skinny: Looks like a Mini, but we say this each week…so who the fuck knows…..we will go on record and predict a mini tournament for now , but, maybe two spares aside, come this Tuesday….5 Weeks left at the Kapusta Kow Palace. You decide what it is going to be!

Out Door Game: April 23. 6p.m. Start. $10 for hockey, $10 for pizza after.

Tomcat Golf Day: Friday June 14. 11 o’clock tee off, Seven Lakes. Party afterwards at Hollywood’s. (No total cost on the day at this time)

Tomcats Forever!

By Harry Ballsonue

White Rangers: Falcon, Rocky, Sparky, The Turk, Sunny, Soupy, Snowpants, Hurricane and Doc
Black Seals: Razor, Hollywood, Cribzie, The Rake, Beep, Stevo, Chevy, Killer and Chico

The White Rangers win  5-5, 5-2 and 3-1.

Good hockey over all, it seemed to me that the Black Seals had trouble getting that first pass out of the zone.

Falcon’s take on the game: “I had all the shots hit my chest, when I did not see the ball and I was screened, bam, the ball hit me on my chest” Falcon had stated.

Snowpants made a motion that more players bring $5.00 bills to hockey instead of paying with 20’s.  Stevo indicated that it was his fault  for not having enough Finn’s.  Then someone said, it was their fault and then Hollywood said it was his fault for being born 14 years after his brother Stevo, “if only I was closer in age, I could have reminded him to bring more 5’s” Hollywood had whispered.

There are only 5 more Tuesday nights of hockey and then the outdoor game. The season is whisking by. Attendance tends to drop off after the tournament, but the Tomcats hope that it does not drop off too, too much.

Interesting Tomcat Fact: Players have been completing the survey, which is much appreciated. “Stevo sets these surveys up and wants to know what people are thinking. I know he will use them to base decisions on Clothing, the 25^th Anniversary Jacket, St. Felix and who wants to be a Captain for the main tournament and the mini’s.  If you don’t want to be Captain, he won’t make you, he’s not Nikita Khrushchev or Joseph Stalin, he’s Stevo,” indicated The Rake.

Purples after the game, Judy, poses with the Tomcats and seconds before picture is taken, Doc knocks over a full bottle of Coors light. (That is just not right!)

Judy from Purples poses with some possessed Tomcats…Are Sparky, Chico, Doc and Soupy zombies?

Black smoke rose into the evening sky over the Vatican as a conclave of cardinals failed to select a new pope on its first vote Tuesday, what is the process when Stevo leaves?

The Kapusta Kow Place is not the Sistine Chapel, but it is close.

Why is the Pope story being covered by 5,600 journalists from around the world, only 1 covers the Windsor Tomcats? It does not make sense; it should be the other way around.

I am also being advised by the IT department that someone visits our web site from Puerto Rico. We would love to hear who you are and about your your interest in the Windsor Tomcats.  Email Stevo at sjaworiwsky@cogeco.ca.  Maybe we can start a farm team in San Juan…the San Juan Tomcats…you come up to play us here (Dress warm) and we will go down there and play you guys.  I would get to travel with the team on a media junket.

I am told that Sparky had full intentions on going to Doc and Jodi’s party, but when the time came, Julie said, “Hey Sparky boy, I’ve got tickets for Diana Krawl”.  What’s next wondered Doc, a Dustin Beaver concert?

Five weeks left…then golf. Hey, when you are heading to the outdoor game, do you think I can catch a ride with you and put my Harry Ballsonue?

Beer Bringers: Mez (24) Doc (12)
Minders of the Mesh: Falcon, Razor, Chico
In The Line Up: The Rake, Sparky, Junior, Rocky, Cribzie, The Turk, Zabba, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Bulldog, Jingles, Sunny, Mez, Soupy, Killer, Snowpants, Beep
Injured Reserve: Hollywood, Lovie, Hurricane
Out Of Line Up: Spinner , La Bamba, The Matador, Crow, May Day

Skinny: If Four Players back out (Which is all together possible, considering we had 6 bail last Tuesday) then there would be no Mini…and just a regular game….so for those bailing on Tuesday…why not bail today.

New Nickname for Crazy Joe: So far this is what we have, Noodles (for long legs) Sangwich (Italian name for sandwich and for bringing one to the tournament) County Joe ( from Leamington) Pizan, Stretch, Tomato (Leamington), D.J. Joe, Oggie (Oglethorpe) , Seger (For playing old time rock and roll)

If you have a name, please forward it to Stevo. Decision to be made soon.

Upcoming Events: Out Door Game, Tuesday April 23, Cost is $10. Pizza After at Dom Polski that is $10.00 too.

Tomcat Golf Tournament Friday June 14, Seven Lakes, with Celebration afterwards at Hollywood’s.

Hollywood’s 40^th Surprise Birthday Party, Saturday September 21.

Selection of Tomcats players have been known to take place at a very early stage, for it is said the true “Great” ones are already exhibiting the signs they will be superstars later.  On Wednesday February 27th at 6:57PM proud Mrs. Skippy welcomed an 8.1 pound  bundle of joy and greatness Sara Ashley into the world.  Using cutting edge technology I was able to briefly ‘listen’ in on the newest Tomcats thoughts.  Roughly translated little Sara’s first known words were, “I will eat, poop and sleep, but hey, since I have your attention, why was my dad’s goaltending average 5.00 in the Tomcat Tournament and why did he let in 15 goals in 3 games have Dad , get me a  trapper, I will show him  how to catch a ball?”.

When I brought up the fact the Tomcats were a male orientated club, Sara quickly replied, “Have you never heard of Manon Rheaume?”

Both mom and baby are doing well, and dad is super excited about being a dad.

With the arrival of Sara, fans and players automatically will recall the baby pool.  Kudos  again to Uncle Snowpants for assisting with shaking down the players and their spouses at the Christmas party – where not surprisingly ALL participated.  After close review the winner is Jacqueline (a friend of Skippy’s Wife).  Jacqueline picked Wednesday March 27th from 1200-1800,  and as the spot above,  that being the time slot of 0600-noon was empty, she has been declared the winner.

The closest Tomcat was Killer who had also picked Wednesday March 27th, but went with the time slot of midnight to 6AM.  Hearing how close he  came  to winning the contest, Killer remarked, “I tried to predict the time of arrival and that they were going to have a little girl. I got the little girl part right, at least”.

Since Skippy has been granted special permission to be away from the Tomcats and has not been at the Kapusta Kow Palace, I don’t mind saying this,  a great comedian once said, “my only job in life will be to keep my little girl from the strippers pole”.   So will Snowpants be recruiting in 18 years?

Snowpants was devastated when asked, “I run a legit company and would never approach another players daughter to join.  I supported Skippy and the Misses from the start, and I can say just looking at her she’s going to be a real heart breaker.  Good luck Skippy in keeping the boys at bay, and hurry back to net”.

Skippy is eyeing an April return.,

Harry Palm Press

By Harry Ballsonue

White Hawks:  Crazy Joe (Net minder) Cribzie, Stevo., Soupy, Chico, Doc, Beep and the Matador
Black Falcons: Falcon (Net minder) The Rake, Snowpants, Sunny, The Turk, Spinner, Chevy, and Rocky

With 7 people bailing on Tuesday, it brought the numbers right down to only 3 spares a side. “You see that quite a bit after the tournament,” stated The Rake…”Guys just kind of either don’t care or tune it out.  It is good we carry so many guys, or we would have had no spares, so no one should complain on Mini Tournament nights,” concluded the Rake.

The first two games went in favour of the Black Falcons, 7-5, 7-5 and then the White Hawks took the third game, 3-2. “That third game really meant nothing, we played well in the first two games, but just could not win it, but the hockey was fast and some of the goals were pretty.  I think we left off right from where the tournament finished,” stated Cribzie.

Crazy Joe gets some big credit for stepping up and playing goalie. Razor never showed up and the Tomcats were not aware that he was not coming.  With Hollywood on the I.R. and Skippy off on Paternity (he had a baby girl by the way) Dave Hann off on IR as well, Crazy Joe stepped and played very well in net.  “We could have gone with Chico too if need by, but Crazy Joe was asked and went in,” stated Doc.

While being a no-show for the evening, Jingles redeemed himself by brining in two pizzas to share witht he boys on stage immediately after play was finished.  Nice job Jingles!

Crazy Joe’s Nick name contest is still going on. The names submitted so far are: D J Joe, Oggie (Oglethorpe), Seger (for playing ‘Old Time Rock and Roll’ at the tournament), and the Blade Runner.  Contest will continue up to next week, where a new name will be selected.

Youngblood was placed on waivers this week and was unclaimed, the Tomcats then released him, so he is free to sign with any team in the league.  When that occurred, Chico got  full time status and Crazy Joe has been moved from a ‘non roster spot’ to part time status. “I really can’t believe this day has come, this is awesome, this is fantastic,” stated a crying Chico.

“Just to get Part Time Status so early in my Tomcat Career means a great deal,” indicated Crazy Joe who held back tears.

The Sea Lion announced this week that if he won 20 million dollars in a lottery, that he would build or buy a club house for the Tomcats.  It would have golf simulators, a brand new Floor Hockey playing area an area for massages, a bar, ping pong tables, saunas, hot tubs and putting green.  All of us in Tomcat Nation, hope that the Sea Lion wins the lottery this week!

In ending, Stevo, was asked to sign some autographs for some fans this past weekend, he hardly gets asked anymore, and with his age and his slow play, it seems that the Tomcats maybe looking at releasing him. I was fortunate enough to get two buxom babes to pose for a picture with Stevo.

Adhoring fans love Stevo…”Our favourite player use to be Crow, but now it is Stevo,” said Lynn and Kim.

A survey has been handed out to the Tomcats for completion.  Each Tomcat is expected to complete the survey.  Results are not going to be tabulated until all the surveys are in.

If you plan on not attending hockey for the next few weeks, then please let Stevo know and he will forward you a survey by email and you can print it off and mail it back to him.

Hey, when the survey’s are being tabulated, can I put my Harry Ballsonue?

by Management

Beer Bringers: Falcon (24) Razor (12)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Crazy Joe
In The Line Up: The Rake, Sparky, Junior, Rocky, Cribzie, The Turk, LaBamba, May Day, Doc, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Jingles, Sunny, Mez, Soupy, Killer, Snowpants, The Matador and Beep
Not In The Line Up: Crow, Bulldog, Hurricane, Zcsabba
Injured Reserve: Flintstone, Hollywood, Lovie
Farm System Call Up, sitting in the press box for now: Chico
Placed on waivers, Unclaimed and Released: Youngblood
Captains: To Be Determined

Skinny: What we have found is that after the tournament, attendance dwindles. But as it stands right now…Crow is the only one not in the lineup.  We find that kind of  hard to believe, but hey, when people are having fun..they want to continue to have fun.

If you know, you are not playing, why not get a hold of Stevo today. (it might be too good to be true, so an email may be sent out)

Doc’s party: Don’t Forget Doc and Jodi are hosting a ‘House Warming’ Party this coming Saturday, March 2…Starts at around 7….

Tomcat Swag: If you did not get an Orange Tomcat Long Sleeve shirt and you want one, please see Stevo, they are $15.

Out Door Game: Out Door Game is April 23, 2013, at 6pm. Lansberry Park.

Contest: Crazy Joe deserves a better nickname then ‘Crazy Joe’. He has been given ‘Part Time Status’, with the release of Youngblood, Crazy Joe did a fantastic job, working the Sound Effects at the tournament.  Tomcats will award a prize for best Nick Name for Crazy Joe….Submit all names to Stevo for consideration.

TOMCATS FOREVER!

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

With the annual tourny, despite the recent blog by President Stevo, I saw several colours – mostly red; as in anger directed by some players at others.  It actually lead to a penalty being called (which is not rare), in a tourny, and ‘dust up’, which use to occur once in a while, but has not been seen in a few years.  These colours were added to the long sleeved Tomcats SWAG – A BRIGHT ORANGE LONG SLEEVED SWEATSHIRT?  Upon seeing the shirt Chevy remarked, “Wow, for Halloween we can all now be Tomcat players,” followed by Snowpants’ remark of “Shit, I haven’t seen so many city workers standing around looking at one another in quite some time.”

Hi-jinks, penalties, sweet goals, saves and jokes aside, when the dust settled the Chevy Sharks took the ever so sweet sip from Stanley’s cup.  Prior to the sip they had to first finish off the pesky defending champs Mauraders.  The final game ended 4-1 (2-1 with 2 empty-netters to boot).  What really surprised critics and bookies alike was that the Chevy Sharks featured first time Stanley Cup virgin sippers Beep, Doc and Chico; all three new players to the Tomcats fold, along with Snowpants’ first ring, and all can now add “Champions” to their resumes.

My predictions were mostly bang on, but I, along with Cribzie were puzzled at his 0-2-1 record.  Cribzie would later comment, “We were right there with all the teams, only losing the games in the last 20-30 seconds. Even Skippy played well above what was expected, but we needed a big save from him at times and that never happened.”

For the record team stats went as follows:

CHEVY SHARKS (CHAMPS) 3-0-0, 13GF, 6GA, +7, 6PTS
HOLLYWOOD HOOKS 0-2-1, 15GF, 19GA, -4, 1PT
MAYDAY MAURADERS 2-1-0, 14GF, 14GA, 0, 4PTS
CRIBZIES CROWN ROYALS 0-2-1, 12GF, 15GA, -3, 1PT

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME – SHARKS 4   –  MAURADERS 1

MVP, as selected by LaBamba went to Rocky, who collected some sweet prizes, along with another championship ring. And while there usually isn’t any other “stars” selected, such as a second and third star; my choice would go to Crow and Falcon respectively. Special mention goes to Beep for providing all the boys with a new long sleeved Black shirt.  Junior commented, “Grr, ok it was nice of him, even if I’m sportin’ his work logo.”

With the end of the tourny, management reminds players there is NO HOCKEY this coming Tuesday. 

Other news is the recent announcement by Skippy that this would be his last game until the beginning of April due to the any day expectant arrival of the little Skipster.  For those left in the pool – STAY TUNED!!   

For photos and more ‘takes’ on the Tournament, check out the April St. Felix. due out in a few days.

Until the ball drops again, Doc, since you looked like you needed a hug out there, Yurri HANDZONMECAC.

Yurri 

I guess, if I knew, that no one would get hurt on Saturday or that no one would go crazy (me included) I would not write this bog, I would never ask that it be posted……but then again, I have no idea who will read this blog in the first place.  Probably, knowing what we know, only the guys who would not be involved in pushing, shoving, altercations and heavy stick work, will read it, so why write it?  Good question.  I have always said, ‘Communication is the International Solvent’.

So….please know, that I want a clean, fun packed tournament.  With lots of pretty goals, great passing and some ‘Flashes the Leather’ Glove saves.

The Refs, for Saturday have been instructed to whistle down any rough play. If two are pushing then the whistle will blow and there will be a face off at center.  If one player is an aggressor, then penalties will be called.  Misconducts will be given and if it continues, players will be ejected.

Once again, for the 23^rd year in a row, I will state, ‘this tournament is for fun, there will be NO NHL CONTRACTS awarded to anyone after the tournament is over’. I guarantee it.

When the Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, He writes not that you won or lost, but how you played the Game.

Try to win…..for sure! Play your best, smile nice for the camera in the team picture and then enjoy a beer on stage with your fellow Tomcat Brother.

Knute Rockne once said, “ One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than one hundred teaching it”.

Remember the guy you hack on the Kapusta Kow floor, may be the guy you are having a beer with after.

Good luck to everyone on Saturday, TOMCATS FOREVER!

The President,
Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

Never has there been a closer mini tournament. Yuri, with his Hands on His Cock, was not there, so he cannot dispute my math, so here are the standings:

                                                           W   L:   T   GF   GA   +/-     Pts.
The White Rabbits                      2    2     0   11    9     +2       4
The Yellow Chicken Hawks     2    2    0    9      8     +1       4
The Black Buzzards                    2    2    0     8     9     -1        4

Rake Rabbits, lead by the Rake and then there were Beep, Matador, Spinner, Snowpants, and the Falcon
Mez Chicken Hawks, lead by the Mez and then there were Sunny, Rocky, La Bamba, Razor, Chevy and the Turk
Doc’s Buzzards, lead by the Doc and then there were Soupy, Lovie, Stevo, Hollywood and Chico

The Three Star Selection, as selected by La Bamba: 3rd Star, Snowpants, the second star, Chico and the First star, Lovie.

“I do not recall, ever, games being so close” indicated a exuberant Rake, who drafted the winning team. “Pinch me, I can’t believe we won tonight, by such a slim margin. Fuck off to all those doubters, in my previous years of drafting, tonight I picked a winning team and we won.” The Rake indicated and then skipped off towards the beer cooler.

A big thank you goes out to the refs , the Bundura and the Sea lion.  The Sea lion, pulls a super solid and brings a case of Budweiser for the tournament, tell me, he won’t win the MVP Award.

The refs did a great job, and now are in the groove for Saturday.

Lovie who was the first star over all, showed why he is considered a franchise player, rifling in a couple of dandies.

Snowpants seemed to be all over the floor today, knocking balls in, intercepting the passes and just being like the energizer bunny. “I just felt good out there today, I hope this continues for me into Saturday’s tournament,” Snowpants had indicated.

I was told that some fans spotted several of the Tomcats making their way to Purples and autograph hounds were there asking for Soupy’s, La Bamba’s and Doc’s autographs. Soupy pulls a solid at Purples, I am told and buys the first round…..that is the Tomcat Spirit.

All three teams with 4 points and one goal differential to set the winner.  Mark this one down in our calendar, as you will not see this kind of parity every week.

This Saturday, the tournament starts at 8:30. Cost is $20 for tournament and $10 for Pizza, at Purples for 3 pm.

Rumour has is that a new colour will be unveiled on Saturday for the long sleeve Tomcat shirt.  “I really hope the guys like the shirt,” indicated a nervous Stevo. “I think it will look great with jeans,” he further added. The full Tomcat team picture will be taken, after the first two games are played.

Don’t forget, beer is supplied by the Tomcats this Saturday. Please have a D.D. arranged.

When you are cracking open your 5th beer, and the awards ceremony is done with, and you are just chill-axing, do you mind if I put my Harry Ballsonue?