We coulnd’t show his face as LaBamba’s wife thought he was away on business, not hanging out with Tomcats for the weekend.
Windsor Tomcats 25th season starts up Tuesday September 17, so start getting your hockey stuff together. The coast is $40 for the year and $5 dollars a night.
First week for beer is very important, and I am told that the two cases are in place and will be delivered.
If you are unable to make the first week of play, please text me or call me so that I can mark you off. If you know now you can’t play, then text me now, instead of 5:30 on Tuesday September 17.
Also, Rocky had asked five questions about you…I hope everyone has had a chance to reply to that….Rocky puts in a lot of work on the web site, and it would be the courteous thing to do, to respond and act on his email!
Please check web site from now on in for weekly reminders and possible blogs, as I hear Harry Ballsonue is back from Costa Rica, Blogger Bloggenstien is out of rehab and Yuri Handsonmycoq has his 2013-14 press card and is ready to rock out some GAA Stats.
Thanks for being you!
Stevo
Both of us would like to thank all our Tomcat friends/brothers for their texts, cards, flowers, donations and emails in regards to our fathers passing. We were touched by all the support we received but one particular moment stands out, when we both saw our Dad on the Tomcat web site being honoured. We can tell you that a tear appeared in our eyes, when we both saw that, we thank you very much for your love and support.
It was our dad who loved sports. Soccer and Hockey were his favourites, when we played ball hockey in the driveway, it was our Dad, who on many occasions, had to change the glass in the garage door, as we would have knocked it out over and over again. Eventually, he replaced it with a piece of ply wood. And yes, once in a while, with enough pleading, we could get him to go in net and try to stop our wrist shots.
His love of the game of hockey and Walt Tkaczuk, brought us to love the game too and the Windsor Tomcats are probably a result of that. Thanks once again, our Dad will be missed by both of us very much.
Hollywood and Stevo,
Our editors don’t discriminate. We actually have guys (not considered Tomcat prospects) but we respond to all correspondence.
Dear Tomcats,
I love going down on my girlfriend, but my jaw gets sore after a while. Any pointers
Tom Tennant
Tilbury, Ontario
Dear Tom,
We anomalously surveyed every Tomcat on the current roster. We received one anonymous response from the Rake who had this problem. The rest of the boys could eat pussy like it was the seventh game of the playoffs. Or until there is an outcome.
I salute your persistence Tom. Any repetitive motion will be tiring (taken from our ergonomist file). What the fuck brother, are you on comp? You obviously are not doing this right. The Tomcats provide a summer technique camp (bring your own woman, or in your case, a test dummy).
WT
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Windsor Tomcats,
A buddy told me its common knowledge that women fantasize about their platonic guy friends all the time. Is this true?
Jim Blair
Toronto, Ontario
Dear Jim,
Of course it’s true. Why do you think that the Tomcats get so many letters from married women? I can’t count on how many women fantasize about Stevo and Rocky. You should be so lucky. Wear a white shirt.
WT
DearTomcat Organization;
I have recently read that Stevo is stepping down as President of the Tomcats after next year, and that Doc is being considered for the post. Let me tell you something, I have slept with both of them and Stevo is much more masterful than Doc. You need a masterful leader, one who knows what he is doing in the bedroom, like Stevo, not a guy who wants to have a dog leash put on him and lead around the room and spanked the entire time. Just saying.
Buffy Perkins,
Burke Falls, Colorado
Dear Buffy:
Ummm, hmmm……OK. Good to know.
Tomcats Org.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Tomcat Organization:
Could you guys not ask Stevo to stay on for a few more years? Offer him up something. I personally don’t know the man, but what does he like, what does he want? Go there and see if that works.
Mark Schindser
St. Paul, Minnesota (11th Province of Canada)
Dear Mark:
Stevo wants, what every man wants. Sex, sex, sex and to golf. We will try to work something out.
Tomcats Org.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Tomcat Organization:
I am a huge fan of the Tomcats and my favourite player is Hollywood, I love when he wears the bandana. I was taken back a bit when I heard he did not want to be the next leader of the Tomcats. Do you think his older, meaner brother Stevo is perhaps telling his younger, much better looking and smarter brother to not take the position? Also, are there any pictures of Hollywood just wearing his bandana?
Oksanna Strafanovsky
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Dear Oksanna:
Hollywood would make a great President and we here at the Tomcat organization are hoping that he eventually gives in and takes the position. If not him, then perhaps, Lovie, Sunny or Rocky.
As for pictures of Hollywood just wearing his bandana, we will see what we can do and post them on our web site in a few weeks.
Tomcats Org.
Thanks to all our fans for sending their questions in. Keep them coming as we have lots of answers for you
Aesop’s fables have been told and re-told; passed down from generation to generation, and nary do the lessons need updating in this ever increasingly digital age. The Tomcats are really no different. Entering their 25th season, rumors and innuendos have cropped up in the typically quiet summer months; that time of the year when the players are finally able to wind down. Fans will recall last year there was a mandatory ‘ask’ from Management to the players to create weekly blogs. The twittersphere and other social media sites lit up with each Tomcats player settling back and letting the fans know what hi jinx they were up to in the off season. This year has been a bit different; the players aren’t leaping to the keyboards or grabbing their high tech gear and looking for a satellite signal to upload their stories. So instead the focus has been on the ‘Stevo’ drama – Will he or won’t he retire after the 25th season?
Remember the drama surrounding Razor and his apparent ‘Retirement’ dilemma last year? It made for good press – and that’s about it. Razor returned and was just as solid as the year before. He even captured another ring in the annual tourny. I will say it now – loud and clear; Stevo will NOT be retiring any time soon. While age may be catching up to the leader of the organization; the itch to play hasn’t left, nor has that competitive spirit. Kudos to Stevo for looking forward and realizing EVERY player eventually has to hang it up; but like some other long term players I think they’ll be prying his cold dead fingers from that hockey stick prior to him actually leaving the Tomcat fold. It will be a SAD day in Tomcat history when he does leave; but several other key players have quietly been stepping up to ensure Tomcat hockey is played for another 25 years when he does.
Speaking of player’s summer news, sources have it that Skippy has confirmed his playing time come the start of the new season will be downgraded due to his daughter’s birth. “I plan on playing when I can; and I’m committed to being there at the start of the season, on my beer night, and at ALL major tourny’s – but beyond that I gotta play it by ear.” Apparently fatherhood has taken its toll in terms of Skippy’s time, and the limited time he does have outside of his regular job duties is filled by his second job – Being a father; which Skippy has described as ‘Exceptionally busy’. With the glut of top quality goaltenders the Tomcats have, along with Bearcat looking to break back into the fold; Skippy’s reduction in playing time may be a blessing in disguise. When questioning the time downgrade Skippy was quick to point out he felt he had earned some small measure of players and fans respect this season with his MVP nod at the outdoor game. The next major piece of hardware Skippy has his eye on is the Major Tislton Challenge Cup; which if indications via the St Felix are correct remain in limbo. When asked about the prospect of losing the annual dust up between the Tomcats and Skipjacks Skippy stated: “I’ve said my piece to the Tomcat powers that be – and now I will try to sell it to the players as management has indicated the games fate rest on a vote. I believe with some of the ideas in place this year this game and many future rematches will remain in place.”
Time will tell on many fronts what is yet to be written in the Tomcat history books – Will this be Stevo’s last year? Will Bearcat come back and recapture some of that old magic in net? Will there be a Tomcat/Skipjack game? And will all my articles always end off with ‘Yuri HANDZONMECAC?”
Well, at least some things will never change…
Yurri
A real woman is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…
No wait…Sorry.
I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that shit.
Never mind.
Author: The Dalai Cribley (the wisest Tomcat around)
Dear Tomcats:
My mom took me to the outdoor game this year and I got to see the Tomcats after the game, from a distance as you ‘tailgated’ in the Polish Hall Parking lot, you seemed like a very tight knit group, even with a lot of outsiders, is that the way it is on stage after at the Kapusta Kow Palace?
Francis Boulian, age 13
Tabernack Quebec
Dear Francis:
Is your mom a hottie? Next time have her come to the gate where security is and have her show her titties to the security guard, she will be allowed in (if she has a nice rack) you will have to stay in parking lot of course. She can then tell you about what it is like in the circle of the Tomcats.
Thanks for being a fan!
T.C.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Tomcats:
My mom told me that after one of your games she came into Purples and some of you were there hanging around, but security was really tight and no one was allowed near you guys. If I came around would Crow, or Lovie sign a jersey for me?
Cameron MacDonald, age 12
Little Falls Nebraska
Dear Cameron:
Is your mom a hottie? Next time have her come to security and have her show her titties to the security guard, she will be allowed in (if she has a nice rack) make sure you do not come, as you will have to stay in parking lot, outside, of course. She can then tell you about what it is like in the circle of the Tomcats.
T.C.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Tomcats:
I hear that the Windsor Tomcats are coming out with a 2013-14 Windsor Tomcat Program. Is it possible to get one. My mom and I are big fans and would love to have one. What are the chances? My mom is 45 and I’m 25…and we just love the Tomcats. We both plan to be at the opening night on September 17 as we already have our tickets!
Cindy Lopez
Slippery Rock, Alta.
Dear Cindy:
Are you and your mom a hot? On the 17th come to security and show your titties to the security guard, Gate T, you will be allowed in (if both of you have a nice rack) If one of you do not have a nice rack, you will not be allowed in, but the other will and she can grab you a Program (if there are any left)….there won’t be, but hey if you have a nice rack, then come on by!
T.C.
Go ahead, order that second beer or have another on stage: You deserve it because you’re so smart. According to the greatest study in the history of science (we’re only slightly exaggerating), smarter people tend to drink “more frequently and in greater quantities” than their duller, drier peers. In two studies conducted in the United States and United Kingdom, children’s intelligence was measured and categorized in five groups ranging from “very dull” to “very bright.” When the study participants were assessed later in life (the Brits checked in from their 20s to their 40s) the “brighter” kids were the ones who emptied more glasses more often. Why? No one is exactly sure yet. Anybody want to drink on it?
Windsor Tomcats 