Windsor Tomcats

Black Meat on White Street…Rocky, Snowpants,  La Bamba, Razor, Spanky, Sunny, Hollywood and Spinner
Soft White Underbellies …Sparky, Rake, Lovie, Matador, Soupy, Chevy, Hurricane and Falcon

No mini last night but a great night of two-team hockey.  The first game saw some of the best goaltending of the season as the Falcon and Razor traded great save after great save.  Both teams were loaded with scoring talent but neither team could figure out how to get the ball past them.  After 20 minutes of first period play, The Underbellies had 1-0 lead.

It took 12 minutes into the final period before the Black Meat could tally their first goal, coming on their 45th shot of the game.  It was quickly answered, however, when the Soft Underbellies found pay dirt for a second time.  They extended that lead shortly thereafter, leaving the Black Meat in 3-1 deficit late in the game.

Coach Sealion called a late game timeout to rally his Black Meat troops.  Not sure what was said exactly, but it had something to do with looking to go back door on the Falcon.  The fire was lit under the Black Meat and they came out humming.  Very quickly, they were able to pop a second goal by the Falcon – score now 3-2.  With a mere 7 seconds left on the clock, Spinner laid a beauty of pass across the front of the net to Snowpants for a pretty little “back door” tap in to tie up the game.  I have never seen a tie-game for exciting to watch than this one!

Coach Sealion explains the back door play …” Everybody loves going thru the back door Spinnnnneeerrr!”

The back door reference really struck a chord with the Black Meat as the second game was much more open, with a lot more scoring.  The first period was back and forth, with each team taking their turn scoring.  The game was within one goal or tied most of the way.  However, in the shortened second period (15 mins as compared to the usual 20),  the Black Meat showed a little more jump and were able to end the game with 3 goal lead.

A solid goes out to Chevy for bringing a case “just because,” and also one for Lovie for bringing a case of “Rolling Rock.”

Rumor has it that the Tomcats and their significant others will be attending a holiday gathering this coming Friday evening at Rock Bottoms.  While credentials are needed to get into the VIP section of the club, where the party is hosted, it might be a great opportunity for Tomcat fans to get close to their hometown heroes.  Snowpants is known to leave the velvet ropes and walk amongst the fans, signing autographs or women’s breasts without hesitation.

Standing in for Harry, this is Howie Feltersnatch

Beer Bringers: Stevo (24) Rake(24)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Hollywood
In the Line Up: Spanky, Rake, La Bamba, Sparky, Rocky, The Turk, Hurricane, Lovie, Doc, Chevy, Spinner, Jingles, Killer, Snowpants, The Matador, Chico, Soupy, Mez and Sunny
Out of the Line Up: Crow, Bulldog,
I.R.: Zaba, Doc, Stevo, Cribzie
Not Sure: N/A
The Skinny: Looking for some clean fun hockey this Tuesday
Mini or no Mini: Looks like a mini, right now it would be three teams with 2 spares a side on each team.
Captains for the Mini: To be determined. If you want to be a Captain, get to the Kapusta Kow early and approach Stevo.
St. Felix: Will be out this Thursday November 28. Some photos from last year’s party in the issue, so check it out.
In The Press Box, Healthy Scratches: Sheep Dog, Tunes, The Kamikaze
Sparky Asks That Guys Help: Sparky wants to move the empties out of the Tomcat Room, so is asking for helpers to show up a bit early on Tuesday to get the empties out, down the fire escape and into the back of his truck. So please consider giving him a hand.

TOMCATS FOREVER!

The only physical contact allowed on the Kapusta floor:
http://thehockeywriters.com/optional/files/2013/10/Kessel-purse.gif

By Harry Ballsonue

White Snow Storm: Snowpants, Sunny, Matador, Tunes, Chico, Razor, Killer and the Kamikaze
Black Thunder: Hurricane, La Bamba, Chevy, Sparky, Jingles, The Turk, Bearcat and the Rake
Yellow Sun Shine: Stevo, Spinner, Soupy, Cribzie, Spanky, Sheep Dog, Hollywood and the Bulldog

It was an intense night of hockey and the Black Thunder took the tournament. Congrats to team Captain Hurricane for selecting his team. “I felt confident going in, I know I had some slower D man, but I knew they would pull us in to the Championship Win Colum. along with the goal scoring forwards I had selected.” stated Hurricane. (who did not score a goal on the night).

The three star selection, as selected by La Bamba, 3rd star, Tunes, 2nd Star, Bulldog, and the first star, Bearcat. “When the names were being read out over the PA system and I heard the third star and then the second star, I thought, WTF, the bastards won’t even include one of our players (Black Thunder) to be a star, but then I heard Bearcats name and I felt better.” indicated Black Thunder super star/ scoring sensation, Chevy. (who got yelled at by Stevo for elbowing the Matador in the head)

At the end of the night, I was not privileged to the speech that Stevo gave, but it had something to do with all of the guys on stage being friends, and that Bearcat and Bulldog were brothers, and that the Matador and Tunes were friends, and that Snowpants and Cribizie were friends and that the Rake and Killer were lovers and that Chico only had Doc as a friend and everyone felt sorry for him so Soupy stood up and said, “I will be your friend Chico”. So now Soupy and Chico are friends…and the lesson was, let’s take care of each other on the floor and lets play hard, but not over do it. Stevo just does not want to see the over zealousness on the floor and after 25 years, is tired of yelling “Play The Ball”.

At the end of the night, Ghost Crossing shirts were presented to the three ‘Show Case’ players…..the reason for that is that that they have been coming out, loyally when asked to. Spanky also got a Ghost Crossing shirt, for joining the Tomcats. “I had to smile and say, ‘Fraser is down’, when Spanky took his first shot on net and then fell down”, indicated a smirking Turk.

A super solid on Spanky’s part was that he brought 12 Tall Boys of a Sleeman Product, just because!

The boys stayed on stage later then normal….

Tomcats at the Tomcat bar…Tomcats Forever!

Stevo, on his own, with no one around him, when down for the second time in two weeks, leading hockey insiders to wonder if he is done for the year and possibly his career. After he went down in the third game, he did not return, Tomcat Medical Staff had this to say, “Stevo suffered a lower body injury (believed to be his knee) and will be assessed in the days to come. We are hoping that he is in the line up next Tuesday”.

It should be noted that Sheep Dog and the Kamikaze both scored their first Tomcat goals last night…..I am hoping that someone picked up the ball for each guy.

Sparky is looking for guys to help carry beer empties out to his truck next Tuesday before hockey. “If we just formed a line and brought the empties out to my truck, it would be a great deal of help, could guys try to get there a bit early next week to help. I also hope that it will be in the ‘What the Tomcats know” next week, just to remind those that can and want to help.” Stated Sparky.

Hey, you think, while you are walking down the stairs with empty beer cans and bottles, I can put my Harry Ballsonue.

Beer Bringers: The Turk (24) Jingles (12)
Net Minders: Bearcat, Falcon, Razor
In The Line Up: The Rake, Sparky, Cribzie, The Turk, Hollywood, La Bamba, Spanky, Lovie, Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Jingles, Sunny, Mez, Soupy, Killer, Snowpants, Hurricane, The Matador, Chico
Out of the Line Up: Junior, Rocky, Crow, Skippy,
Injured Reserve: Zaba, Doc
Mini Tournament Captains: Jingles, Snowpants, Stevo
Skinny: If you look at it right now, it would be three teams and three spares aside on each team! What are the chances of that? Last week had 4 spares a side and it dropped down to 3 spares and 2 spares…Management is looking at giving the three Show Case players another night….with the colder weather, you would think that more players would be attending….
Also, this is week three for new comer Spanky to make is 2013 Tomcat debut…..the fans, the players and management are all still waiting….and waiting…..
6:30 Start Time, Kind of Important: See if you can make arrangements to re arrange your schedule, so that you are there for 6:30.
In The Press Box watching as Healthy Scratches: Sheep Dog, Tunes, Kamakazee

TOMCATS FOREVER!

By Harry Ballsonue

“By the age of 18, the average Hockey fan has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series”. Steve Rushin

Team Black: (TheBlackfish) Sunny, Soupy, Lovie, Hollywood, Rocky, Chico, Jingles and the Turk
Team White: (The Swordfish)Snowpants, Spinner, Stevo, Falcon, Sparky, Hurricane and the Matador

Games were tied at the end of the night, one game each. Interesting facts about the games. The first game did not start until almost 7 o’clock. At 6:30 p.m. there were only 6 guys on stage getting ready to play. In the first game, the first goal did not get scored until the 9:36 mark. In the second game, three goals were scored within the first minute of play.

If you look at the players that played, no hackers, no wackers. Just some clean fun loving hockey.

Spanky who was suppose to make his Tomcat debut, never showed up. Rumour was he had no equipment, no stick, no gloves and just decided, ‘oh nuts, I just won’t go’. I am sure Management will be having a little word with him. Its not like he just stepped out of the Russian hockey program in 1972. Tomcats have sticks, gloves, all he had to do was ask. And speaking of sticks…..

62 sticks…

Only Rocky, Crow, Doc and Zaba out for next week, and of course Junior too.

It is a 6:30 start. If guys are having problems getting there for that time, maybe adjustments need to be made in baby sitting, family issues, leaving work….having sex with your wife before you go….”I think nest week will start right at 6:30 and guys can just trickle in and put on a white shirt or a black shirt and just play….there does not seem to be a great deal of respect for the starting time and the rest of the players” stated Rocky.

Sunny, Snowpants and Chevy would like you to respond to the Christmas Party request! Are you going? what are you having? The say it is a very simple process, just hit reply and respond to their question.

Tomcat Hockey Pool….this was as of Tuesday November 12.

Team                                  Points
Hollywood Hooks             171
Hurricanes Hamsters      161
Matty’s Marching Band  160
Lovie’s Loogies                 157
Soupy’s Sliders                 155
Mez’s Mittens                   147
Bubbles Baublers            147
Falcon’s Flippers            147
Crow’s Crawfish              144
Cribzie’s Crabz                135
Stevo’s Salamanders      134
Sparky’s Ingniters           127

While you are checking out the Hockey Pool, can I put my Harry Ballsonue.

Beer Bringers: Hollywood(24) Mez (12)
Net Minders: Falcon, Hollywood
In the Line Up: Sparky, Rocky, The Turk, Hurricane. Lovie (really late), Chevy, Spinner, Jingles, Killer, Snowpants, The Matador, Chico, Spanky, Stevo and Sunny
Out of the Line Up: Crow, La Bamba, Bulldog, The Rake, Mez
I.R.: Zaba, Doc, Cribzie, Razor
Never Sure: Junior
The Skinny: Stevo is not available this weekend so if you know you cannot make it, email or text Rocky. Don’t wait until Tuesday at 4pm to let Rocky know either…so much easier when we know ahead of time.
Mini or no Mini: As of now, yes, but we’ll see by Tuesday
Captains for the Mini: TBD
In The Press Box, Healthy Scratches: Sheep Dog, Tunes, The Kamikaze

TOMCATS FOREVER!

No mini this week, but instead, two teams with full benches.  The teams were:

Black Hawks – Hurricane in net, with Snowpants, Cribz, Spinner, Doc, Rocky, Chico, Killer and Lovie

White Eagles – Hollywood in net, with Sparky, Jingles, Soupy, Chevy, The Turk, The Rake and The Matador (wow, that’s three players with “the” before their nickname on one team…that should not be allowed).

After a late start due to a locked Kapusta Kow Palace, the festivities began with White getting the early jump.  The play was fast and furious with lots of shots by both teams.  Both Hurricane and Hollywood were on fire in net, making highlight saves.  The Eagles started to come alive and were able to score quickly to take a 3-0 lead.  The Hawks could not seem to figure out how to get the ball past Hollywood…he was making save after save.  After the first 20 minute period, the score remained 3-0.

The Tomcats wait to enter the Kapusta after a delay in opening the facility.

While unorthodox, Hollywood’s style of net play was effective at throwing off the Black Hawks, especially in the first period of game 1.

The Hawks, helped by a late arrival of Lovie, came out in the second period with a flurry of fancy passes and shots and finally broke the seal on Hollywood.  The Hawks were relentless and quickly tied up the game at 3-3.  Keeping the pressure on, the Hawks were able to seal the game 8-5 when it was all said and done.

Game two saw the White Eagles jump out to an early 1-0 lead by scoring within the first 2 minutes of the period.  However, the Black Hawks found their scoring ways quickly and were able to qucikly gain a comfortable lead.  Hurricane, though almost the same age as Normie Smith’s jock strap now, proved he still has it, making critical saves for the Black Hawks and allowing the team to be aggressive on the forecheck.

Hurricane, making his annual appearance in net, tells Lovie tales of net-minding glory from days gone by.

The night was not without controversy (what else would you expect when Stevo was not in attendance).  On a couple of occasions, the Black Hawks were a little aggressive around the net, taking a few swipes as Hollywood tried to corral the loose ball.  The Tomcats are reminded that if the goalie has stopped the ball, or is about to cover the ball, good sportsmanship dictates to lay off and get ready for the next play.  A fired up Eagles bunch mustered a few quick goals to make the game close, but the Black Hawks proved too much and were able to finish by a score of 10-7.

A shout out to Lovie for pulling a super-solid by bringing 24 (or was it 30) beers on the night he was suppose to bring 12.  All beverages were enjoyed on stage.  There were some calls for Snowpants to drop the “S” from his name and go by “No Pants” as he emphatically tried to re-enact what a slash/hack on the goalie really would look like, and how such a thing did not occur on the floor that evening.  The Turk was not buying his explanation and was quoted saying, “Tonight was not fun, the hacking of goalies cannot occur, and for god sakes Snowpants, will you finish changing before jumping up and down like a lunatic on stage…I thought Harry was the only guy trying to put his balls on us!”

Filling in for a travelling Harry (currently on sabatical in a foreign land, studying the ancient art of Ballsonsomeone Placement Therapy), I’m Howie Feltersnatch

Beer Bringers: Cribzie (24) Lovie (12) Spanky (12)

New Tomcat Member: As mentioned by Harry Ballsonue in his latest blog, Spanky an Ex Tomcat will be making a comeback. If you know your Tomcat History, it was Spanky who was the one who named the Kapusta Kow Palace, THE KAPUSTA KOW PALACE! There are many who have made comebacks, no one more famous then Seabiscuit! ( Is it coincidental that both of their names start with a ‘S’ )

Net Minders: Hurricane, Hollywood

In the Line Up: Rake, Sparky, Rocky, Cribzie, The Turk, Lovie, Doc, Chevy, Spinner, Jingles, Killer, Snowpants,  The Matador, Chico

Out of the Line Up: Crow, La Bamba, Bulldog, Falcon, Sunny

I.R.: Zaba, Stevo, Mez

Not Sure: Junior,

The Skinny: First time this year, that we can actually say no Mini at this time. But if Junior comes out, well, then it is a mini….but if he does not come out, then it is just two team. Interesting conundrum. (Junior hates Minis and yet if he comes out, there is a mini) Also Lovie inserted in line up now, but could bail. Mez is listed as ‘day to day’, by Tomcat medical staff. Stevo and Zaba out with knee injuries will not be in the lineup.

Mini or no Mini: It does not look like a mini, right now…..If Lovie bails and Junior shows then it’s just two team.

Captains for the Mini: N/A

In The Press Box, Healthy Scratches: Sheep Dog, Tunes, The Kamikaze

TOMCATS FOREVER!

Some funny signs I have seen during my travels…

By Harry Ballsonue

“In life there is the known and there is the unknown and in between there are the Doors”
Jimmy Morrison

Rocky Wings: Rocky, Soupy, Jingles, Matador, Razor and the Rake
Hollywood Hookers: Hollywood, Tunes, Sparky, Ogie, Falcon and Mez
Cribzie’s War Pigs: Cribzie, Chevy, Stevo, Snowpants, the Turk, Doc and Skippy.

The Rocky Wings take the Mini with 3 wins and finish with a plus 1. The Hollywood Hookers finish a close (but no Cigar Razor) second, with 4 points and a plus one. The Warpigs, 2 points and a despicable minus 5. “It was a good mini, close, you can’t complain about that” indicated Sparky, who played like Bobby Orr.

“I got some shots off, but just could not hit the net,” stated a frustrated Chevy. “I thought by me coming late and the schedule maker making the different schedule, that really helped us out a great deal. For us to win the whole thing, well, I guess I deserve all the credit,” indicated a beaming a Jingles.

The organizers of Tomcat Hockey would like to remind everyone that hockey, on Tuesday nights starts at 6:30. When you leave the stage at 9:30 you have 165 hours to prepare for that and to be on time.

The three star selection as selected by La Bamba, 3rd star, the Falcon, the second star, Ogie and the First star, Tunes.

“I thought all three played very very well”, stated Doc and added, “Falcon made save after save after save”. Doc concluded.

“The new kid, Tunes, really knows his hockey, positionally he is very strong”, stated Mez.

Speaking of Mez, he went down like a sack of potatoes and reports from the Tomcat dressing room is that he has a lower body injury and is questionable for next week.

Sally Schneider, Molly Cleaver and Chico on a night out after Tuesday Night Hockey.

It should be noted that Chico was not in the line up this week and one can only imagine what he was up to. And speaking of missing Tomcats, Crow, plays very little, but yet is called the franchise player of the Tomcats, I wonder if we could get to see him come out more before the Christmas break. “He is the greatest player I have ever seen play, I’m amazed every time he touches that ball”, indicated an adoring Matador.

Crow ha snot been a full-time Tomcat this year because he has been spending time in Chicago at the Playboy mansion with his boy Hugh.

Next week only Bulldog, Mez, La Bamba and Falcon are not in the line up. Hollywood has been given the nod to play net and Chico will be asked as well. Stevo looks ok to play and will no doubt play.

Tomcats looking to bolster the line up have been sniffing around ex Tomcat Spanky to come out. Word out on the streets is that Spanky is very interested and could very well see his first action in years next week. You want to tune in for that one….

Super Solid completed by the three stars tonight, Tunes, for no reason what so ever, brings a 12 pack of Coors Light….(watch for him to get another call up) Ogie, who played two weeks in a row, brings in a 24 of Old Milwaukee for no reason and The Falcon, brings in crackers and Kielbasa. Is there more solid guys out there? These guys are rocks…Tomcat boulders. Thanks guys, you make the Tomcat world go round and round.

Hey Spanky, if you are really coming out next week, whilst you are up on stage getting dressed for the games andlooking all around and not recognizing a lot of the faces, can I put my Harry Ballsonue.

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

St. Felix: Out October 28 so check it out!
Beer Bringers: Skippy(24) Junior(12)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Skippy
In the Line Up: Rake, Sparky, Rocky, Cribzie, The Turk, Hollywood, Doc, Chevy, Spinner, Bulldog, Jingles, Sunny, Snowpants, Stevo, The Matador, Chico, Tunes and Ogie.
Out of the Line Up: Crow, La Bamba, Hurricane, Lovie, Killer
I.R.: Zaba
Not Sure: Junior, Bubbles
The Skinny: First and foremost, let me settle the issue of the Beer. Junior has not been out as yet and thus the unknown re his 12. Before you think the world will end, please be advised that we have a Tomcat Reserves (as far a beer goes) Players too we suppose, but the beer thing is more important than extra players, so no need to worry if Junior does not show up with his beer as we will have it covered. He would have to bring it some other time…if he comes out to play this year. As for hockey, it looks like a Mini.
Mini or no Mini: It does look like a mini, right now…..
Captains for the Mini: Rocky, Cribz and Hollywood.
In The Press Box, Healthy Scratches: Sheep Dog, The Kamikaze

TOMCATS FOREVER!