Windsor Tomcats

August 5, 2015 CP: Windsor, Ontario

By – Dick Handler

A Tomcat luncheon organized by Snowpants was held on August 5, 2015 at the Rock Bottom Saloon. A bunch of Tomcats attended the luncheon which included Snowpants, Stevo, Sunny, Soupy, the Turk, Mayday, Hurricane, Chevy, Doc, Jolly Green Giant (just call him JGG – too much to type) and Kamakazee.

We thought the luncheon was to discuss the Tomcat Christmas party. However, this reporter did not overhear any discussion about the Christmas Party.

It was confirmed that Snowpants and the Bundura will be marching in this weekend’s pride parade. They will represent the Tomcats and the City of Windsor. In fact the Bundura was a no show at the luncheon because he was helping the Mayor raise the pride flag at city hall.

Other tidbits overheard at lunch were rumors that Mayday is organizing a Tomcat golf tournament this fall. It will be a 27 hole tournament at Deer Run and will feature a Ryder Cup format. Stay tuned for details.

Doc will also be organizing a Zamboni crew to spiff up the surface at the Kapusta. Rumour has it more luxury boxes will be added before the start of the season.

“Work hard, play hard, be hard”.

Quote form the Legend, Bobby Skoretz.

Click here to read the Rules (210th) edition of the St. Felix.

By Harry Ballsonue

I love covering the Tomcats in the off season too, last week, a fella paid $3,000 to golf with
Soupy, Stevo and Sheepdog. This week, in the May Day Open, Sandy Beach paid $10,000 to golf with May Day, the Bundura and Stevo.

Sandy Beach paid $10,000 to golf with Stevo, May Day and the Bundura. “Hell I would have paid $10,000 just to golf with the legend Bundura, but to have May Day and Stevo in the foursome was very special”
Sandy Beach

“It is a great tournament and I love playing in it” indicated a joyous Bundura, then added, “There
is nothing like a round of golf with friends. This tournament is  full every year in fact it is fully booked already for next year I am being told” The Bundura concluded.

The charity May Day selected this year is the Belle River Buckos Alumni Association. It benefits the likes of
Fuzzy (golf lessons) Bucko (Guitar lessons), Crispy, Finner, Uwe, Sauc, Doob, Ditty and many many others.

“I yell May Day, May Day, May Day and people come to help in this important event,” May Day said.

One item that is being looked at (donations and possible charity golf event for next year ) is a bronze, life
like statue of Cripsy, to be erected in front of  the new Belle River Arena…… to give hope and faith to all young Belle River Hockey players.

“There is one of Gretzky in Edmonton, there should be one of Crispy in Belle River” stated Finner.

While you are measuring out the spot for the statue, do you think I can put my Harry Ballsonue

It is a well known fact that most NHL players have their own golf tournaments in the off season.  Tomcat hockey players are no different.

Last week a few participated in the CHILL AND GRILL event, this week, Soupy had over 500 golfers playing at 4 different course in the Essex Region in the ‘Soupy’s Soup Kitchen Charity Classic. The event is organized by his lovely wife Serta and Soupy himself. “You bid to play with different Tomcats, This year a young fan bid $3,000 to play with Stevo, Sheepdog and with me”. a smiling Soupy indicated.

Stevo Sheep Dog Young Scottie and Soupy ….Young Scottie paid $3,000 to play in the Soupy Soup Kitchen Charity Event …with These three Tomcats .

Soupy who holds a PGA Card and a Professional Ball Hockey Card, came in at 3 under to win the event.

Soupy wins the Soupy Soup Kitchen Charity Classic…..coming in 3 under …” It’s great being a Tomcat …but winning this event is just a fantastic feeling “

IN OTHER TOMCAT NEWS…

Rocky holds summer camps for young puck bunny hopefuls, who want to fight off other puck bunnies,
“I feel I am adding a different element, showing them how to tussle and win the hockey man of their
dreams” says Rocky. Here he is about to jam a young damsel in the gut, “They feel it when I hit them
and then they thank me after” a Beaming Rocky stated.

Rocky has been busy running his Boot Camps.  This year, he is focusing on Puck Bunnies who are being out muscled by other Puck Bunnies and are losing out on sitting on the back of the bus with the man of their dreams. (any Tomcat hockey player will do…please, but Cribzie is so dreamy )

“I feel I am doing something for hockey in the off season too” a stoic Rocky indicated and then added

“Some women want to get close to a player, such as maybe  The Matador or Tunzie, but are fought off by Security or other Puck Bunnies, I am just trying to provide them with a slight edge, that’s all”. Rocky concluded.

Rocky charges $3,000 a week for his one week long boot camp. For that money, you learn how to tussle and box out an opponent. Food, lodging and snacks are extra.

I am hoping everyone has had a chance to review the Summer Issue of the St. Felix that came out July 1 and that everyone is waiting for the ‘Rules Issue St Felix’, that is due out August 1.

Hey, whilst you are checking out that hot hot chick getting turned up by Rocky, or wondering to yourself, why did I not pay $3,000 to play golf with Sheep Dog, Stevo, and Soupy, do you mind of I just put my Harry Ballsonue.

Click here to read the 209th edition of the St. Felix.

By Harry Ballsonue

The day could not have been better, sure there were three holes with rain but PGA players play in the rain a true athlete will play in the rain, NFL, Soccer games, MLB, Golf, and so will the Tomcats.

The brand new trophy designed for the Tomcat tournament and now officially named Pantalon de Neige Jug….Named after the British Open Champion, the Claret Jug.

“Sure some would want to win the Claret Jug, but I think most would want the Pantalon de Neige jug”. Stated Razor, a Tomcat who could very easily win the jug himself.

Hicksee took the tournament with a solid 74. Past franchise player Crispy finished second with 78 and present day franchise player Crow finished in second with a 78. “Hicksee played well, he deserves the Pantalon de Neige Jug, Stanley’s Cup winner this year and now the Jug, what next for this great golfer?” asked Crow.

Hicksee Captures the Pantolon de Neige jug

“My wife loves the Jug, but I told her, I only get to keep it for one year, she said, go out there and play as much golf as you want, this summer, so you can win it again next year,” Hicksee said

Great to see some of the Alumni. General Manager Finner was in that foursome as were Tomcat legends Crispy and Bucko.

Great to see the Alumni come out and mix with the present day Tomcats….. Bucko, Sauc, Crispy and Finner

“I certainly would love to see more alumni here, where is the Legend, where is Rexy and Miami?” Finner had asked.

Scores and prize money:
Hicksee $1,800,000.
Crispy $1,200,000
Soupy $1,000,000
Crow $700,000
Snowpants $500,000
Razor $400,000
Sauc $250,000
Lovie $175,000
Bundura $125,000
Stevo $90,000
Cribzie $ 65,000
Sparky $40,000
La BAmba $20,000
Bucko $16,000
Hurricane $6,500
Falco $4,000
Sandy Beach $2,500
Finner $1,200
Kwang $800
Chevy $400
Hollywood $80
Rocky $7.50
Turk D.N.G. Owes $15,000
Spanky D.N.G. Owes $15,000
Killer D.N.G. Owes $10,000
Sea Lion Injured owes nothing
Junior Never Showed Never Called, Owes $110,000

Razor was dressed in style as always but a fashion faux pas did occur when two Tomcats wore the same shorts.
Not going to say who the two Tomcats were, but here is photographic evidence.

Two Tomcats wore the same shorts, what a fashion Faux Pas….

So with that, the 2014-15 Tomcat season comes to an end. Until September, please have a safe and warm & sunny summer.

Watch for the summer issue of the St. Felix (out July 1) and of course the October St. Felix that will come out September 1.

Hey, while you are going over the prize money, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

By Harry Ballsonue

I am being told the meeting went very well, the people that attended are as follows:The Matador, Snowpants, Doc, Sunny, Beep, the Kamikaze, Rocky, Hollywood, the Sheep Dog. the Rake and Stevo.

The four team Captains for the tournament were confirmed as Beep, Tunzie, Soupy and the Matador. Big news as far as tournament goes, the games will now NOT be two 12 minute periods (playing the team only once), the games will be two-8 minute periods and you play each team twice.

As Far As Tuesday Night Hockey goes…a Ref to be in on the mini’s to watch for Tripping, pushing, called back goals etc.  There is no face off after each goal, the ref, will ensure that both teams are ready and will blow the whistle to start the play…..

(Ref is to be brought in for only the Months of September and October)  to see if it helps with the ‘rougher’ play. If the Rake cannot play due to injuries, he is willing to be the ref.  Sea Lion and the Bundura maybe asked as well to come out.  If they are not able to, then the team on stage will send a ref in to ref.

Banner to get a quick ceremony and Hollywood and Snowpants are in charge of that.

Part time player list in the order of call up: Tunzie, Kamikaze, Green Giant, Shack (special Status as a goalie), Sheep Dog, Flintstone and Hicksee.

Shack is confirmed as full time third goalie, but still remains as a part time player.

Out Door game cancelled for next year.  Tomcats will end the year at the Kapusta Kow Palace…(amongst Tomcats)

Soupy to do the beer list this year.

June 20’s Baseball game came under some fire, and that is to be looked at further by Soupy and Chico.

Tomcats donated $25 to the Golf Tournament for a prize.

Possible addition to the Tomcat room will be some inexpensive shelving units so that empties and beer can be stored neater.

Jingles to head up a ‘Tomcat Survey’…..more information to follow.

New nets are to be looked at, as the old nets are getting very tired. Rocky to arrange.

Doc is in charge of a ‘Maintenance Day’ at the Kapusta Kow Palace.  He will be looking for assistance in cleaning up the floors and bolting in the metal base boards along the walls.  An August date is being looked at and Doc will be reaching out for assistance.

Hollywood is to secure the ‘BIG SILVER BOX’ on stage (no not some old peeler) but the box that is right behind the Falcon, it will hold the score clock, so it does not have to be carried up and down the stairs.

Sheep Dog is to arrange a bowling night sometime in the fall with Tomcats and their wives/girlfriends.

Some clarification to ‘rules’ were brought up and the St. Felix will be giving those out in further detail, so watch for that in the summer issue.

Acknowledgements to some of the Tomcats for ‘above and beyond’ work, Rocky, Snowpants, Razor, Jingles and Sparky.

And………..

Sunny is the only Tomcat to have two Nick Names (Sunny and Husky Eyes), now Snowpants too has that dubious distinction, you are allowed to call him Snowpants or ‘Pantalon de Neige’. Congrats Snowpants.

Hey while you are smiling to yourself about the Pantalon de Neige name, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue?

Click here to read the 208th edition of the St. Felix.

By Harry Ballsonue

“Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath”    Anonymous

I watched as the guys sat on stage on the last night of hockey for the 2014-2015 season. You could see them undress from their wet soggy clothing and put on dry clothing as they chugged down their first beer of the night.  “Boy that first one always goes down so quick and tastes so good” says the Matador.

Then there were the hot dogs that The Rake cooked up. You are a good man Rake for coming in and doing that.  The boys love the Rake and of course engage him in all sorts of conversations.

Camaraderie….Webster’s describes it ‘as a feeling of good friendship among the people in a group’.  I think there should be a picture of the Tomcats on stage beside the word in the dictionary !

It was great to see The Rake bring toppings for the dogs and Snowpants brought chips and salsa and cheese.  The boys would take turns asking “Need another beer…..Need another one”?

Friendships, smiles…camaraderie.

We the press, were let in almost right after the final game was played, I got to hear Stevo as he was giving his  ‘end of the season’ speech….it was about welcoming new comers Shack and the Green Giant and embracing them as their own.  Both had appreciative smiles on their faces, you could sense happiness throughout the stage as he mentioned their names (Shack has a tiny cut, just above his left eye thanks to an errant  Hurricane stick).

It was a nice touch by the Tomcats to award a Fedora’s to the last three stars of the Season.  Sunny, Soupy and Beep donned their fedora’s and Soupy talked about how he planned on wearing it on the golf course this summer.  Soupy brought a bottle of Crown ‘just because’ and more and more of that is done by the Tomcats…guys bringing 24 instead of 12…Nice to see stuff like that.

On Skippy

I spoke to Stevo yesterday about Skippy’s status with the Tomcats and asked him if Skippy has been released completely.  Stevo laughed and said, “No, not at all. Skippy’s numbers were down as far as coming out (Not GAA as far as Stevo knows) and due to the fact that we have more mini’s then nights with just two teams, I am always scrambling looking for a third goalie.  Shack fits the bill. He is available.

On any given Tuesday and is equal (talent wise) to the Falcon and the Razor.  It just makes good hockey sense to have Shack as our third goalie.”  Skippy I was told, will still get to come out and play whenever he can, and on those nights, Shack will either be taken out of the line up or will play out.  That is another beautiful part of Shack, is that he plays in net and is also a very good player out too.  Shack remains a part time player….

Skippy is not totally out of the Tomcat line up for 2015-16. His playing time was down and the Tomcats need someone to be the third net minder, so Skippy is relegated to part time (where he kind of was anyway) and Shack is brought in as the third goalie.

On the Banner 

Really cool thing that Hollywood did in organizing the Tomcat Banner.  It will be discussed at the Board of Directors meeting and Stevo is looking for a couple of people to step up and give it a proper ceremony. “Maybe they can do a video of the past and show it on the Jumbo-tron and the theme from Rocky can be played while the slideshow or video is played…or Maybe Snowpants can just make a speech”  Stated Cribzie.

The banner will get a proper ceremony on the first night of Hockey in September

Too Many Sticks

’71 sticks….some need to be given away, some need to be used to hold up tomato plants and some need to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame

I leave you with a short story that a cop friend told me the other day…

A man calls 911 and says, “I think my wife is  dead.” The operator says, “How do you  know?” He says, “The sex is about the same, but  the ironing is piling up!”

Hey, while you are chuckling to the Police story, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.