Windsor Tomcats

Week 8, keep the Faith By Harry Ballsonue 

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was”

                                                                            Abraham Lincoln

TEAMS

Sunny Scorpions Sunny, Soupy, Sparky, Green Giant, Killer, Sheepdog and Shack

Beep’s Black Mamba’s Beep, Snowpants, Cribzie, Stevo, Hollywood, Falcon

Tunzie Hornet’s Tunzie, Matador, Chevy, Hurricane, The Turk, Razor, Doc

 There is something to be said about friendship and camaraderie and just being with people like you to be with. It was, once again, very good hockey, Matador, seemed a little upset here and there, but over all, good, clean, calm hockey.

 The three star selection, as selected by La Bamba : The third star, 3) Kamikaze, (For bringing out his runner (rug) so that we don’t bring in wetness on stage.) The second star 2) Killer, for brining his beer one week early, as he thinks he may not be able to make it next week. and the first star 1) Matador, who had a team picture with his Novice Ice Hockey team (as he is a coach) but then made to hockey after, (At 7:30) showing dedication and love for the game of hockey and the Windsor Tomcats.

 Refs seem to be helping as the play is mellower then last year, refs will be kept to the end of November and possibly into December I am being told by the league. Sea Lion did a fantastic job.

Sea Lion makes debut as Ref this season .

Abraham Lincoln’s quote is a good one, and maybe the Windsor Tomcats as an organization is growing and learning and growing and learning.

Fantastic play once again by the net minders, Tomcats have the One-Two-Three goaltending punch!

Razor holds a 1.29 GAA And a .998 save percentage …best in the league …

Second best goalie in the league ….with a 1.31 GAA and a 995 save percentage ….magnificent !

Third best goalie in league …1.34 GAA and a 991save percentage …tremendous

Stevo is not there next week, so if you cannot make it, text Rocky or Hollywood.

Tomcat Christmas Party is Saturday November 28. Sunny is collecting $30 per couple for snicky snacks (Chicken Wings, Mozzarella Sticks, Fried Pickles items of that nature) The party is at Rock Bottom (Upstairs) and DJ Hollywood Coyote will be rolling out some sweet tunes, for everyone’s enjoyment and dancing pleasure. It would be nice if you showed some consideration and let him know….he should not be chasing after people….Stevo says he would like to know who some of these people are who do not respond and he will get them to organize next years Christmas Party, “I’m pretty sure we’re all adults here, say if you are going and pay your $30…it’s not that difficult” indicated Stevo.

 Jingles is organizing some new Tomcat gym bags, they are the size of ref bag, perfect for ball hockey stuff, or even using when you go away for a weekend. Cost will be around $65 and will have your number on it and also a Tomcat logo or patch. If you are interested, please see Jingles. You really don’t want to be the only one without one….

 Four members of the Tomcats are members of Ghost Crossing and they rocked the joint out on Saturday night at the UNO hall in Windsor Ontario.

Thanks to those Tomcats that were able to come out and support the worthy charitable cause that Hollywood was running.

Ghost Crossing rocked the UNO Hall ….fun had by all …Hollywood is selling Ghost Crossing tee shirts ..if anyone is interested is only $15

We have a Crow on our team, so I thought I would share the following:

And this is a fact you won’t soon forget…

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. 

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.      

He very quickly concluded the cause: 

When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.” and while you are sitting on stage, enjoying that frosty beer, and thinking ‘Why can crows say Cah but not truck’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue

Beer Bringers: Hollywood (24) Tomcats (24)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Shack
In The Line Up: Sparky, Cribzie, The Turk, Hollywood, Doc, Chevy, Soupy, Sunny, Killer, Hurricane,  Matador, Snowpants, Jingles, Stevo, Beep, Green Giant, Sheep Dog, Tunzie
Out of the Line Up: Kamikaze, La Bamba, May Day, Lovie, Bulldog, Crow, Spinner
On the I.R.: Rake, Rocky, Spanky, Chico
In Press Box: Flintstone
On the Farm Team: The Danish, Hicksee, Mez
On the Farm Team on the I.R.: Skippy
Team Captains: To Be Announced.

Help Needed: Sparky is looking for a few good men to come a few minutes early to help clean out the Tomcat
room of empty beer cases and cans. Be there 6:15 and you will be rewarded at the hands of God when
you finally go!

Small Reminder: Sure it is nice to just sit on stage and shoot the breeze with your bunk mate, but don’t you think it would be better if you helped out in setting up and taking stuff down? (We are all in this together).

Another Small Reminder: Hollywood will be selling Ghost Crossing shirts for $15. bring 15 so you can  purchase one…..good cause, great shirt…..Fantastic Friends!

Tomcats Forever!

By Harry Ballsonue

“Lovers’ quarrels are the renewal of love”.

Terence (playwright)

TEAMS:
Cribzie Comets; Cribzie, Sunny, Chevy, Stevo, Razor, Soupy and Doc
Spinner Tornadoes: Spinner, Green Giant, Chico, Snowpants, Sparky, Falcon and Killer
Hollywood Gila Monsters: Hollywood, Lovie, Tunzie, Jingles, The Turk, Kamikaze and Shack

Before I start talking about hockey, I wish to tell you one thing, I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal. Dyslexic bitch, it turns out that she loves Alan, my best friend……

Hockey was very good in week seven. no issues, if you were not in the lineup, maybe it is you that is the problem? Hmmmm.

The Turk blocked about 100 shots, how does he do it.  Stellar work on the Turk’s part….and he does it every week!

The three goalies were outstanding and deserver credit and mention, they show up each week and work hard in the net. Great work Falcon, Shack and Razor. Tomcats have the top three goalies in the league, Razor, Shack and Falcon.

Top three Goalies in the league …and all three are in Tomcat organization

Three star selection as selected by La Bamba, 3rd star Sunny for walking into the Kapusta Kow and going on the floor to set up. Second star, the Green Giant for checking the web site to see if he was in the line up and playing and the first star, Razor, for printing off a copy of the St. Felix and walking it over to Mrs. Snowpants to show her….Good work on all three stars this week.

Razor …old school jacket

Jingles is looking at ordering new Tomcat gym bags, they are bigger and will have your number and Tomcat Logo or patch sewed on.  Cost is around $65.

Jingles looking to see some bags …Sparky shows his bag .

Ghost Crossing is playing at a function this Saturday, November 7 …and Tomcats very own Hollywood is organizing, there is a media night this Thursday and I will be going and trying to get close to the band.  I know you are thinking ‘he’s a sports reporting guy’, that is true, but I love music and I love Ghost Crossing, so I hope to use my media pass to get in and mingle with the band. I will try to snap some photos and report back.  The November 7 function is sold out and I’m doubting my media pass will work that night.

One thing that Hollywood and Stevo are asking…if you are not able to come out Saturday and buy a Ghost Crossing Concert Tee…then please consider buying one at hockey on Tuesday November 10. “How many tee shirts can I have”??

I think Ghost Crossing have been very generous in providing you with FREE shirts over the years, you can buy one from them now.  (Some of the proceeds of the tee shirt sales go to the benefit that Hollywood is organizing) I am sure Stevo and Hollywood would greatly appreciate it. Only $15. Maybe look at it this way….all the stuff Stevo has done for the Tomcats and for you over the years…..and now he is asking that you buy a tee shirt…it is a small price to pay.

In other news, medical in nature, I went to the doctor’s office the other day and found out that my new doctor is a young female and drop dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don’t worry, I am a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out. I said, “My wife thinks my dick tastes funny.”

Last comment about hockey, with about ten seconds left, in the final game, the Spinner Tornadoes were down 5-0, they did not pull the goalie but instead the two spares jumped on, for 6 attackers.  So Spinner’s team has a goalie and six players out on the floor, now that was funny and good ole fun at the Kapusta Kow.  Love to see that kind of ‘funny stuff’ and no monkey business. Fun is what Tuesday hockey is all about. Whoever thought of doing that….good for you….you should be mentioned as a star!

Hey, whilst you are chuckling over the Dyslexic joke, do you think I can put my Harry Ballsonue.

Click Here to read the December 2015 (213) issue of the Saint Felix

Bringers of Beer: Turk (24) Stevo (12)

Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Shack

In the Line Up: Tunzie, Green Giant, Doc, Killer, Cribzie, Spinner, Lovie, Snowpants, Hurricane, Kamikaze, Hollywood, Stevo, The Turk, Sparky, Sunny, Soupy, Chevy, Chico and the Matador

Unsure of..if in the Line Up: Jingles

Out of Line Up: Beep, Bulldog, La Bamba, May Day, Sheep Dog

On the Injured Reserve:   Rocky, Rake and Spanky

In the Press Box: Flintstone

On the Farm Team: The Danish, Skippy, Hicksee

On Conditioning Stint: Crow

To Be Spoken To: Killer never showed up but was on the sheet as playing October 27

Captains: Tunzie, Matador and Soupy

Outside the Tomcats Event: November 7 Ukrainian St. Patrick’s Day….organized by Tomcats Own Hollywood: This event is SOLD OUT

St. Felix: December 2015 Issue is due out November 1 (Sunday) Watch for it! 3 pages of loaded fun!

Tomcats do not mind if you have a pop after hockey, but please be responsible.

Tomcats Forever!

Week Six, Needs No Fix by Harry Ballsonue

“My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate. I was so shocked I almost tripped over my Penis”

Teams:

Doc Arabians: Doc Team Captain, Hollywood, Razor, Soupy, Jingles, Green Giant, Sparky

Kamikaze Mustangs: Kamikaze Team Captain , Falcon, Cribzie, Beep, Chevy, Snowpants

Chico Aztecs: Chico Team Captain, Sheep Dog, Tunzie, Shack, Spinner, Stevo

Great night of hockey, oh my God….it was very very very good.  No silly bugger stuff, no wacking, no hacking. Just a great night, love to see that, please keep it up.  Even Stevo said after hockey to the boys on stage, “great night of hockey boys, love to see that”.

All goalies played great, but, man oh man, was Razor on!

Best Hair on Tomcats ….

Two sweet hearts, great guys, but wait, there is more as far as great hair goes,

The three star selection, best hair: (as selected by La Bamba)

Three star selection for Tomcat Hair …3) Green Giant 2) Jingles 1) Doc

Sheep Dog made his season debut and notched a few goals and got his toque.

I’m so Pretty …someone got a new toque !

Cabaret that Hollywood is organizing is 95% sold out, if you want to go and you did not buy a ticket, maybe try Kijiji.

Ghost Crossing playing, do you really want to miss that?

Overall a fantastic night of hockey, if you were not there, you missed it, hey maybe you are the problem!

A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells,

“Don’t enter that church, you damn fool !!!”
His wife asks him, “What are you watching?”
Husband replies, “Our wedding video.”

Hey, fantastic night of hockey, love to see that, but do you think, when you are toweling yourself down from the sweat of the game, I can put my Harry Ballsonue.

Beer Bringers: Cribzie (24) Snowpants (12)

Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Shack

Playing: Sparky, Hollywood (AKA Coyote), Chico, Stevo, Doc, Chevy, Spinner, Killer, The Matador, Snowpants, Jingles, Beep, Kamikaze, Tunzie,  Sunny, Green Giant, Cribzie, Lovie, May Day, Sheep Dog, Soupy.

Not playing:  Crow, Bulldog, Skippy, Hurricane, The Turk, LaBamba

IR: The Rake, Spanky, Rocky

Press Box: Flintstone, the Danish, Hicksee, Mez, Bearcat

Captains: TDB

Skinny:   It will be a mini….

Special Thanks: Thanks to the Captains, for being a Captain, when asked…YOU ARE TRUE LEADERS

Of Note: Text Stevo, Rocky or Hollywood if you cannot play.

The Windsor Tomcats don’t mind if you don’t shave or play ping pong in the dressing room.

We also don’t care if you purchase services from Snowpants Escort Services.

WE DO care about our players getting home safely. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BEFORE DURING AND AFTER HOCKEY.

Reminder – Ghost Crossing performing Saturday November 7th.  Tickets are $25 and will be available Tuesday evening – see Hollywood.  Come out and sing along with the Tomcat band!

TOMCATS FOREVER

Week Five…Alive. by Harry Ballsonue

White Doves: Falcon, Soupy, Stevo, Green Giant, Hurricane, Sparky, Beep and Hollywood

Black Crows: Razor, Shack,Snowpants, Spinner, Matador, Kamikaze, Turk, Lovie

I watched as the teams squared off….both games were good and well paced.

No craziness on the Kapusta Kow Floor, which is always nice to see.

Both Razor and Falcon played great on a warm night.

Enough about hockey, let’s talk November 7.

After Hockey, as I was interviewing some of the players, Hollywood came out to talk to me, telling me about a fund raiser he is doing on November 7.

“It’s for the Dance Group ‘Barvinok’ that I run, I am hoping to get most of the Tomcats to go to this fun event, Ghost Crossing will be playing and I think everyone would like to see us play”. Stated a Jubilant Hollywood.

Over the years, Ghost Crossing has provided a number of free tee shirts to the Tomcats and it certainly would be nice if all the Tomcats went to this event.

“We are going to have Ghost Crossing tee shirts for sale and it should be a lot of fun for everyone, the tee shirts are only $15 and some of of the tee shirt sales will go to the Dance group, so please consider buying a ticket.  There will be food and other forms of entertainment, I know you will have a great time and it is with other Tomcats….support your fellow Tomcat I say” Concluded Hollywood.

Hollywood will have ticks next week, so bring some money so that you can purchase a couple of tickets.

While you are listening to Ghost Crossing, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

TOMCATS FOREVER AND GHOST CROSSING FOREVER!

It was a good ole’ two team battle at the Kapusta Kow tonight with the Salty Whites surprising the Lacy Blacks in the first, but the Salty Whites were unable to finish in the second game, so it was a win for each side. A mention has to go out to Rake who was well dressed and looked surprising comfortable in the black and white stripes. 
The hockey was well paced in the first game, with minor hacking at the Falcon, but overall a great game. The Salty Whites were able to finish all over the Lacy Blacks in the beginning, but Black showed them their best and fought back with almost enough, and the final was 10-8 for White. Razor was sidelined with an undisclosed something or other, and was assigned to score keep both games. I’d say great job, but who’s kidding. His heckling was well above par and included lines such as “we should call Chevy Hyundai, cause he sucks!”

As for the second game, the Salty Whites weren’t able to hold them off, with the Lacy Black’s proving to be just too much. The Black team sends a solid out to Sparky who help them by scoring a “Rake” style goal on his own net. The Salty Whites came on hard scoring at least four goals quickly, to make the game close, but ultimately came up short, losing 10-7.

The hockey was good, clean, fast paced TOMCAT hockey of the past, which would have made Mayday proud. If you haven’t read the latest sheet from Mayday, I’d suggest you take the time to review the notes. This is for fun boys, and more about hanging out with a great group of guys than winning the games.

Also, the draft sheets have been handed out tonight, so make sure you’re busy filling them out, and since you’re so busy, you won’t notice if I Barrie McCockiner
Written by Barrie McCockiner

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!

Beer Bringers:Sparky (24) Matador (12)

Net Minders: Razor, Falcon, Shack

Playing: Sparky, Hollywood (AKA Coyote), Chico, Doc, Chevy, Spinner, Killer, La Bamba

The Matador, Snowpants, Jingles, Beep, Kamikaze, Tunzie,  La Bamba, Sunny, Green Giant

Not playing:  Crow, Stevo, Bulldog, Sheep Dog, Skippy, Soupy, Hurricane, Junior, Cribzie, The Turk , May Day, Lovie

IR: The Rake,  Spanky, Rocky

Press Box: Flintstone, the Danish, Hicksee, Mez, Bearcat,

Captains: TDB

Skinny:   It will be a mini….Ref will be on hand to make sure the games are fun for everyone.

Special Thanks: Thanks to the Captains, for being a Captain, when asked…YOU ARE TRUE LEADERS

Of Note: Stevo not there this week, text Rocky or Hollywood if you cannot play.

The Windsor Tomcats don’t mind if you don’t shave or play ping pong in the dressing room.

We also don’t care if you purchase services from Snowpants Escort Services.

WE DO care about our players getting home safely. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BEFORE DURING AND AFTER HOCKEY.

TOMCATS FOREVER !

As I rolled into the press parking lot, first Tomcat I spotted was Sparky signing sticks and memorabilia. He noticed me and said “Phil, do you have a sharpie on you”? As I tossed him a Sharpie, all the kids eyes lit up, for they would have # 4’s autograph , forever emblazoned on their Tomcat swag!

Best night of hockey you question? Only because it was not a mini! Good old fashioned Tomcat hockey! The way it used to be! The way it should be! I may be a traditionalist, I suppose, but that is my opinion, and this is my blog.

Teams for the evening were;
The White Walkers; Skippy, Soupy, Killer, Chico, Hurricane, Lovie, Junior,(yes Junior), Kamikazee, Bulldog, and Spinner.
The Night’s Watch; Falcon, Sunny, Stevo, Turk, Hollywood, Mayday, Chevy, Snowpants, Sparky.

In an interesting trade battle, Stevo had to leave the game for an undisclosed reason. So Soupy was brought over to The Night’s Watch.  As soon as he finished his first shift , he was traded to the White Walkers for Bulldog.

The first game ended in tie 6-6. Great back and forth (not so clean thanks to one individual) hockey. The second match, another well fought battle, ended 6-5. The white walkers prevailed as if almost to take Castle Black! The Night’s watch were down 6-3 at one point, but with time running down, Sunny made a great pass on a great redirect by Bulldog, probably one of the prettier goals of the evening. They notched another, but could not get it tied up.

Hurricane was overheard “hey guys I bought FostersLager”, somebody chirped “it must have been on sale”! One of my highlights, were also involving the Hurricane, the Turk cleared the ball on a dump and chase, it hit Hurricane in the gut, You could hear Hollywood throughout the entire Kapusta Kow.  “Yeah Turk, do it again”! Even the Hurricane laughed.

Lovie’s forehead was a topic of conversation again, that persistent pimple strategically placed. Kamikazee, was also reminiscing of good old cottage days  in the lovely remote Halton Hills region, of Ontario. You definitely have to ask him, if you missed the original story.

Just a quick note, reminder of the band Ghost Crossing playing a fundraiser on November 7th, With all the Ghost Crossing t shirts everyone has received over the last few years, it would be great to see all the Tomcats grab up some tickets. Who knows it could turn into an autograph session?

It truly was great seeing everyone, great to have Sparky and Chico back. and maybe when they were away, who knows what Phil Landerer was doing……This is Phil, signing off, heading to Kitchener- Waterloo this weekend, who knows maybe Cribz , still plays trumpet in that polka band The BlackForestBand. With my Lederhosen on, or off! Prost!

And, if anyone is wondering where the Rake has been this season, it has been reported that he left Windsor to start his own pub where he hopes to get a local hockey club to come in for drinks each Tuesday night…To avoid any fan fare associated with his hockey fame, The Rake chose to name his bar after his birth-given name.  I smell a Tomcat road trip in the future…