By Dick Fitzwell
June 6, 2018
Before we get to the Gordon’s Gin blog of the week, I have to tell you the Windsor Tomcats were out in full force for the Kapusta Open at Ambassador on June 2, 2018. Razor was out sporting an outfit hand sown by his tailor, Scruff. “I only wear these outfits once and then donate them to the Children’s Wish Foundation”, said Razor. Notable Tomcats in the Kapusta Open included Razor, Chevy, Sea Lion, Bundura, Stevo, May Day, Cribzee, Turk, Snowpants and former Tomcat speedster, Bunny.
Mr. Gordon also made an appearance both on the golf course and at the banquet. “Mr. Gordon is always with me”, said the Bundura. The Sea Lion said he was under strict orders to bring Mrs. Sea Lion one perogy. So what does he use for a go bag? An empty plastic cup. “I can get 4 perogies and 3 cabbage rolls into the cup. I will do anything for Mrs. Sea Lion”, said the Sea Lion.
He was right, 4 perogies and 3 cabbage rolls fit quite nicely into the cup with room to spare for a shot of gin.
“I won enough Kapusta hats for every Tomcat”, said a beaming Snowpants.
Best prize won at the Kapusta Open was a rectal thermometer by Stevo. “I have been stuck on many occasions with a high fever and no thermometer. Now I’m good to go”, said a happy Stevo.
The boys were back at Belle View on Monday for regular Gordon’s Gin action. After coming off a 7 hour, twenty five minute round at Sutton Creek the week before. May Day, Bunny, Sea Lion and Stevo played a 3 hour, 45 minute round. “Way better this week. I will give Sutton Creek one more chance but another round like last week and I’m never going back there”, said May Day. “Three guys in wheel chairs playing from the tips is unacceptable”, said the distinguished commissioner.
May Day wowed the gallery with his trickery. His second shot on number 10 literally bounced off the pond scum and onto the grass in front of the green and his second shot at the par 5 17thbounced off a one inch railing on the bridge into the fairway leaving him in good shape.
Scores were Bunny 65, Sea Lion 67, Stevo 69 and May Day a one over 73.
Sea Lion, Stevo, Commish May Day and Bunny on the Growler your …” an incredible day to be playing with these three Legends,” stated Bunny.
Puma sports recently signed the Sea Lion to a lucrative sponsorship deal. “If it’s good enough for Ricky Fowler, its good enough for Danny the Growler”, said the Sea Lion.
Announcements – Tomact Open goes June 15th at Sutton Creek. Should be a good day. Contact Snowpants for details. Also, if you want a hot selling Kapusta hat, Snowpants will be handing them out at the Tomcat Open. They are great at the beach. Chick Magnets.
June 11th – We will be playing Sutton Creek. Shooting for a tee time in the morning so we can be home by 10:00PM. Watch for the e-mail.
June 13th – Ghost Crossing will be performing Wednesday June 13th at The Lion’s Head Tavern. It is the last stop on the 2018 Summer Tour so come out and listen to this Tomcat-riddled band! 7pm start.
And hey, whatever became of Crazy Legs?
So it has been a month since the BoD meeting, and it a took a while for the meeting minutes and follow-up items to be approved and sorted out. Here are the details:
Attendees:
Rocky, Snowpants, Sparky, Doc, Kamikaze, Soupy and Slim Jim
Sunny and Doc were late cancellations, but provided feedback. As well, Hollywood was not able to attend due to work commitments but also provided input before and after.
- Soupy and Kamikaze officially added as BoD members (to go along with Rocky, Hollywood, Sparky, Doc, Sunny and Snowpants). These guys are always involved and care for the organization…just made sense. Congrats boys!
- Start of year cost will be $50. Tuesday nights will remain $5. The Tomcats have had a rent increase for the first time so these costs will be manageable based on the numbers here. A start-of-year gift will be included with the $50.
- Look back at this year’s play. The BoD thought the play was, for the most part, clean and fair this year. However, “stick swinging” was discussed and concern (swinging the stick to make a play at the ball). This will not be tolerated going forward and will be discussed at start of season. Any infractions will be called out and a fine levied to the player. On this note – when any call is made on the floor, any member of the BoD making the call is considered the final call and will be accepted by all. No exceptions.
- Rule Clarifications:
- 5 seconds behind the net after goalie save or dead ball. The safety zone is the “key area” behind the net and does not extend to the corners or the entire width of the surface behind the net.
- Ball out of bounds – dead ball and goes to opposite team. Rule applies even if touched by a player on the bench. Any player on the bench intentionally touching a ball out of bounds will be spoken to.
- High Stick – the stick should not contact the ball at or above the cross-bar height. Anything in between a players elbow or shoulder may get called.
- Slap shots – Maximum height is the players hip/waist area. Anything above that can and should be called a slap shot.
- Tournament 2019:
- Captains – Rocky, Sunny, Tonto and Snowpants
- We will use original format just like this past season – play everyone once, 2 periods, 12 min each
- Last night of hockey before Christmas – Considering a Legends vs. Rookie night (basically figure out the median tenure and have the newer guys play the guys who have been around for a while)
- Still looking to find a couple of new guys, especially a goalie if possible. Goalies will always be a concern since if we cannot have two for sure each night, we are screwed.
- August – Looking to have some Tomcat volunteers to have a “Clean up” day at the Kapusta to get things ready for the season, make a few repairs. We may also offer to strip and wax the floors, and have the costs deducted from our 2018-2019 rent.
- We will be reaching out in July to find out your commitment for the upcoming season.
That is all for now. Enjoy your summer and see everyone in September. We start up Tuesday, September 18, 2018 at 6:30p sharp
Yours in all thing ball hockey,
Rocky
By Dick Firzwell
May 29, 2018
The Gordon’s Gin league is now a travel golf league. It’s like travel ball hockey, but better.
It was a hot day at the Sutton Creek Golf and Country Club where the gallery was packed and rowdy anticipating the stars from the Gordon’s Gin Golf League. “The growlers were real smelly today”, said a sweaty Sea Lion after shooting a course record 65.
Other scores were May Day 98, Chevy and Cribzee 69, Stevo 70, Bunny 71 and Soupy with a solid 72. “I was in the rough all day”, said Mayday. “It didn’t help the club was slipping out of my hand in most of my shots on the back 9”.
Snowpants never liked to okay Sutton Creek …never comes out on a Monday to play in the Tomcat League …”we didn’t know why till today …he can’t clean his balls in the ball washers …he can’t reach,“ stated Commoner May Day.
Bunny, who has been hitting the ball as good as any time in his career is a welcome addition to the league. Bunny is the career leader in winnings in the French Tour that plays in Quebec and Hollywood Florida.
Chevy was hitting the ball a country mile was impressive. “I owe it all to my coach Stevo. He is that little voice inside of my head telling me to take an easy swing”. “The woods are filled with balls from long hitters”, said Stevo.
“I know May Day is working hard to get more shorter ball washers for my friend Snowpants “ stated Cribzie …. “ I love Snowpants they should have ball washers knee high for Snowpants,” stated Chevy.
The guys missed tour standout Bundura. “My air conditioner was not operating to maximum capacity and I had to get a crew in and take care of it. I was so pumped to play but I had to take care of this”, said an obviously disappointed Bundura. Fans were sending in photos of 12 Farhal trucks parked at the Bundura’s mansion in Ruthven.
On the ride in the Sea Lion, Stevo and May Day were talking about the upcoming provincial election. All three of the fellas understand provincial issues better than the candidates in this year’s election. “I am completely sick of single mothers”, said May Day who is not a fan of free daycare, tuition or dental. “I like the buck a beer angle”, said Stevo. The Sea Lion, who is the league’s biggest socialist said the NDP leader looked a lot better about ten years ago. “I am sure she liked the pork sword back in the day”, said the Sea Lion.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The Turk’s annual Kapusta Open is June 2, 2018 at Ambassador while the annual Tomcat Open goes June 15, 2018 at Sutton Creek. Snowpants does a great job organizing so this year’s tournament is sure to impress. Look for the Rake in the field this year. Thanks to the great advocacy work of Stevo and May Dayfor freeing the Rake. “The Rake is like Nelson Mandela”, said Stevo.
GORDON’S GIN TOURNAMENT 2018
The league is thinking of a Ryder Cup type format this year. The target date will be Civic Day, August 6, 2018. 27 holes at Deer Run in Blenheim, Ontario. Look for details in the coming weeks.
Remember, you must play at least one week to qualify for the awards gala at the end of the year.
And hey, whatever became of………The Smooth?
Click on the below document link to find out tee times, costs, and other details for the big event on June 15th!
By: Dick Fitzwell
22/05/2018
The Gordon’s Gin Golf league rolled into the posh Belle View Golf and Country Club Monday as the league resumed play before a sold out gallery. The fans were really excited to see Hatchy make his 2018 debut. “I love playing with guys like Stevo”, said a happy Hatchy. “I play in this tour just so I can go to the Award’s Gala at the end of the year. It’s a black tie event and the private chefs they hire to make the ailes de poulet are the best. Never had food so good in my life,” added Hatchy.
Hatchy was on fire on the course, shooting a 67. Other scores were Bunny, 68, Sea Lion 69, Stevo 70, Chevy 70, Little Bird 71, May Day 72 and Soupy 73.
The fans were also glad to have Soupy back after a brief contract dispute. There was a reported communications problem between Soupy’s agent and Commissioner May Day but the issues were ironed out and a settlement was reached.
The clubhouse was packed with fans after the round. Little Bird, who is retired stand- up comic turned professional golfer was telling jokes, much to the delight of the players and fans. “He is a real pro. He even brings his own laugh tracks”, said May Day.
The league will be going on the road next Monday. The boys will be teeing it up at Sutton Creek.
Commissioner May Day very happy with the play this year …”Sea Lion and Bunny were on fire today” May Day said.
By Harry Ballsonue
“It takes lots of balls to golf like I do.”
DATES TO KEEP IN MIND
May 1, 2018
By Dick Fitzwell
The Gordon’s Gin Golf League was in action this week at the Belle View Golf and Country Club. In the field were May Day, Bunny, Sea Lion, Chevy, Bundura and Stevo. The scores were as impressive as the weather. Stevo fired a 69 and is in the lead early. May Day with an 80, Bunny – 79, Bundura – 70, Seal Lion 71 and Chevy with a 74.
The Sea Lion was initially not happy with the Bar Staff as he was served a canned Caeser. He summoned his personal assistant Sara, who immediately made the Sea Lion a Caesar just the way he likes them, rimmed, with pickle juice, a garden and not too spicy. “
Funny stories were exchanged. The Sea Lion was remembering the old days when he owned his Bull Mastiff, Cedric. “Cedric needed his nails cut and some hair shaved off to spruce him up. I loaded him up in the car and take him to the Dog grooming guy, Dale in town. When I brought him home, something was different. Then it donned on me, Cedric left as a Bull Mastiff and came home a Chiwawa. He looked completely different. I had the Champ call that place and gave them what for”, said the Seal Lion.
May Day proclaimed the league “Ding” Bell was is disabled. The Seal Lion proclaimed, “The ***T Train Has arrived at Belle View”. The league has ordered a new bell.
The boys were also speaking of hair, or lack of hair. The Sea Lion says he goes to the barber once a month and has the barber make the clipper noises behind his head just to have a feel of getting a haircut.
If you are thinking this league is all about the Sea Lion, you are right. Without him, I wouldn’t have any material for a blog.
The Tomcat Golf course has been named. It will be called Cougar Bush. We were thinking of having a contest to name the course but seriously, how can you beat Cribzee’s suggestion? The holes have all been named.
Stevo said Sara will be hired as the Director of Guest Services and her starting salary will be $95,000.00 per year. “She doesn’t even have to come into the office but must tend bar when the Gordon’s League is playing”, said Stevo.
The league is going on its first ever road trip. May 7th the boys will be teeing it up at Pointe West. Tee times have been set. Look for an e-mail next week for league play on May 14, 2018at Belle View.
Gordon’s Gin Star Stevo seen here April 30, 2018 waiving to fans in the gallery on the 18th hole. Watch for Stevo on the July Golf Digest cover.
By Dick Fitzwell
April 23, 2018
The Gordon’s Gin Golf League kicked off the 2018 season Tuesday at the Belle View Golf and Country Club. Rookies Bunny and Little Bird joined veterans May Day, Cribzee, Stevo and the Seal Lion in the Pro Am.
Pairings were:
May Day – Bill Murray
Stevo – Igor Larionov
Sea Lion – Craig Stadler (the Walrus)
Little Bird – Big Bird
Bunny – Michel Larocque
Cribzee – David Clarke
It was a little wet out there but the boys found a way to grind through it much to the fans delight. “It was an honor to be out here with pros like Stevo and the Sea Lion”, said Little Bird.
“Little Bird and I shared the limo over from the airport”, said Bunny after arriving from California where the pair played in a fund raiser hosted by Michael J Fox.
The celebrities really enjoyed the finely manicured gold course. “You guys really have a good thing out here”, said Sherif Clarke. “President Trump would love it out here”.
The Sea Lion’s personal assistant, Sara, made sure the golfers had hot coffee and tea. The sea Lion likes his Caesar’s made a certain way and Sara has been fully trained and the Sea Lion is raring’ to go this golf season.
Stevo built a bon fire for cold fans on the 15th hole and the league provided marshmallows for the kids in attendance and shots of honey bourbon for the adults.
Scores were Cribzee – 71, Little Bird – 72 – Stevo 74, May Day 81, Sea Lion – 70, and Bunny with an impressive 68.
The league will be going back to Monday’s commencing April 30. Watch for the e-mail. Respond quickly because tour spots are quickly filling up.
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
The stage sits empty until September 2018
This is what it is all about…enjoying a cold beverage with the best guys in the world…the Windsor Tomcats!
Thanks to our goaltenders without them we would be no where…
Nothing like a photo of all Tomcat originals…been here for 29 seasons!
Friday June 2, the Turk is hosting the Kapusta Open, it is a four man scramble, played at Ambassador. Tickets for the golf game, dinner are only $110. The prize table is out of this world and so is the food. It is a fantastic event, it is a Saturday, come out and support the Turk in his golf outing.
Tomcat golf tournament is Friday June 15 at Sutton Creek. Tee off times will start 10 a.m.. Let Snowpants know that you are interested and he will try to assist you in the foursome that you want to play in. Cost and such being worked on, but you are looking at anywhere between $42-$45 dollars for golf and a cart.
Tomcat Jackets popular item on a night on the town…
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.'”
And in ending, fantastic season as always….
Beer Bringers: Tomcat Providing the beer
From The Rake’s Kitchen: The Minister of Cuisine will be featuring a speciality sandwich with a side dish.
Net Mindgers: Falcon, Terror, SkippyIn The Line Up: Doc, Killer, Kamikaze, The Rake, Jingles, Bulldog, Beep, Sunny, Soupy, Chevy, La Bamba, El Choppo, Matador, Slim Jim, Tonto, Skuz, Stevo, Sparky, Spinner, Sheep Dog, HollywoodNot In the Line up: AS IT SITS RIGHT NOW…. There are three (3) players that are questionable and will be getting back to Tomcat management about being able to play on Tuesday they are; Cribzie, La Bamba and Chico.In the Press Box: May Day, Cribzie, ChicoOn the IR: Rocky, The Turk, Hurricane, Tunzie, SnowpantsBad Axe: The Danish, Crow, The Big Easy, Eagle, Tweetie Bird, LovieSkinny: As It will be a mini, last night of hockey, hugs, kisses, lots of tears….you don’t want to miss it.Dates To Remember: May 1, Board of Directors Meeting…..June 2, The Turks golf outing, $110 lots of fun, it is a four man scramble….. June 15 Tomcat Golf Outing…September 18 Hockey starts up.Tomcats Forever!
Windsor Tomcats 