TOMCAT WISH TO ANNOUNCE the newest Tomcat…Mack!
Mack has been signed for the 2037 season. Son of the Matador. Both Mrs Matador and Mack are doing great. Matador has a smile, ear to ear!
“He is cut like a milk bag” Quote by Bryan Hayes of ‘Overdrive’ on Heavy Weight Champion of the World Andy Ruiz Jr.
A friendly wager was made by these two tomcats against Steve and Sea Lion…Chevy and Cribzie ended up paying out at the end of the round.
Reluctantly Stevo and Sea Lion accepted the bet and in the parking lot, after the round Chevy and Cribzie reached into their pocket. Pulled out a wad of 100’s and paid the winners off. “I don’t know how it ended up being only $10,000 I had it calculated at $23,000 but Chevy did the math and said that’s what they owed us, oh well”. Stated Sea Lion
Cribzie has been voted best looking golfer on Growler tour last three years …here you can see Sea Lion pointing out a good looking babe in the crowd and you can see Chevy looking on, thinking ‘Cribzie is a devilishly good looking man’May 28, 2019
By Dick Fitzwell
The league was back in action his past Monday at the Belleview Golf and Country Club. The Sea Lion, Stevo, Little Bird and the Howler made up one foursome while The Big Easy, May Day, Chevy and Brades were in the other.
Chevy was hitting straight, 300 yard drives all day long and rarely visited another fairway. Brades was a welcome addition to the group and won $50,000.00 on a side bet with Chevy on thePar 3 16th. Further, he qualifies for the year end banquet at the Rock Bottom. He is a great addition to the league. Brades attended the University of Harrow on a golf scholarship from 1971 to 1975.
The Big Easy was proudly showing the group pictures of his daughter’s prom while stating,
“ I can’t believe how fast Paris has grown up”. The Big Easy was putting on a clinic out there on Monday hitting both right and left handed. “ He could play in a two-man scramble by himself”, said Mayday.
Chevy reported a major rule violation to the commissioner. “ There was a blatant lack of respect from the Seal Lion foursome”, said Chevy. Chevy filed the complaint after the Sea Lion Group left the 18th hole instead of staying in their carts while the May Day Foursome finished the hole. “ Normally, the final group receives a round of applause by the gallery as well as the players and this rule was not adhered to today”, stated a disappointed Commissioner May Day.
Accordingly, the league has imposed a $50,000.00 fine for each player payable to the Doug Ford Make Smokes Available in Drugstores Again Foundation.
Scores were as follows:
Howler – 71 from the Blue Tees – Brades – 68 – Chevy – 69 – Mayday – 73 – Big Easy – 105 – Stevo – 71 – Sea Lion – 71 – Little Bird – 71.
By Holden Toodiks

If the Tomcats were a secret government assassin squad or secret government sector like the MI 6 or Secret Service or the Canada’s K12 it would be these four who braved the elements to kick off the Growler League
Sniper, Deadeye, Hondo and Venom
Harry Ballsonue is on assignment
Overtime: Over time will continue to be played on Tuesday nights, 1 minute periods in Mini, with 3 on 3 and a two minute period with two teams, 3 on 3.
New Personnel Added to Tournament Organizing committee: Doc has stepped down as organizer and Soupy and Kamikaze are now running the tournament.
See the link below from Pantelone de Neige (Minister of Tomcat Golf):
By Harry Ballsonue
“Train roll on, on down the line, won’t you please take me far away. Now I feel the wind blow outside my door, means I’m leaving my women behind, Tuesday’s gone with the wind, Tomcat hockey Tuesday night is gone with the wind”. (Till September)
Lynard Skynard
Teams:
Soupy’s Motley Crue: Soupy, Beep, Bullwinkle, Jingles, La Bamba, Chico, El Choppo
Skack’s Guns n Roses: Shack, Sunny, Chevy, Snowpants, Hurricane, Sheep Dog and the Terror
Matador’s Metallica: Matador, Anvil, Sparky, Rocky, Stevo, Tonto, Killer and the Falcon
The Soupy Motley Crue took the night and how could they not, El Choppo got three beautiful deflections. The unfortunate part was that they were on Chico and that was his goalie. At one point, Soupy was covering El Choppo so he would not deflect any more shots. “I had to,” said Soupy, and added, “We still needed the lead and I could not take a chance on him scoring on his own goalie again.”
Well that’s it folks. The Windsor Tomcat season has come to a close. A very, very good season over all. Track suits, and tee shirts galore…what more can a man want.
Stevo does the final puck drop of the 2018-2019, 30th Tomcat season!
KUDO’s
Bulldog brought out rye and beer for the boys to enjoy. He also supplied mix and glasses…put her there Bulldog!
Also, thanks to Sparky and Bullwinkle for bringing a plate of delicacies…thanks boys!
Hollywood went to Costco and bought dogs, buns, condiments and such, and then BBQ’d it all up for the boys to enjoy (Thanks for the veggie dog said, Beep and Stevo).
Thanks to Rocky for bringing chips, chips and some more chips.
Big thank you goes to Sparky, who always takes the empties in, and to those that helped before hockey started, to clean up the Tomcat room. Special thanks to Stevo, Sheep Dog and Bulldog!
Thanks to those that put everything away at the end of the night. If you did not help, maybe you need to look at that and say to yourself, ‘maybe next year I should do more’.
GALA
I just want to say again, if you missed it, you missed a hell of a party.
(Sexy Man Looks On) Bearcat, Rocky, Hollywood, The Rake, Matador, Kamikaze, Youngblood, May Day (hiding) The Chief. The Turk, Bulldog, Chevy, Sea Lion, Soupy, Snowpants, Big Ned, Tweetie Bird, Eagle, Stevo, The Legend, Fuzzy, LA Bamba, Beep, Squid, Kramden, Tonto, El Choppo, Sunny, Rexy, The Falcon, Doc, Jingles, Sparky, The Bundura, Big Easy, Finner, and The Bruiser (just on the outside but there) Bucko was there too, but must of been out smoking.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING
Board of Directors meeting is at Rocky’s on Tuesday May 7. Everyone and anyone is allowed to go. Let Rocky KNOW IF YOU WANT TO GO…by April 23.
GOLF
Windsor Tomcat Golf Outing, Saturday June 15, Sutton Creek 9 a.m. start. Be there 8 a.m. so that YOUR two man scramble team can be made…$55 is the cost. In order to have you committed (no, not an institution) but to golf, Snowpants is using the Slim Jim rule…(Slim Jim never showed up last year) so he is looking for money up front. Please pay Snowpants.
June 1, (a Saturday as well) The Turk’s tournament. $125, four man scramble, Ambassador Golf Course, full money value, golf, cart, great prizes and….a fabulous dinner. Get a foursome together and contact the Turk. You will not regret it.
IN ENDING
Snowpants wanted to address the troops, “Boys, raise a glass, to another great season and our 30th, Tomcat Hockey Season.”
“Tomcats mill around on stage…no one wants to leave. They want the night to go on and never end,” said LaBamba.
As you are checking out the large group shot and you’re trying to count all the guys, thinking ‘what is that, 34, 35, 36 Tomcats, old and new’? Do you think, I can put my Harry Ballsonue?
by Management
Beer Bringers: Tomcats. Also, FOOD to be prepared and provided. Thanks to Hollywood and Doc for helping out on this!
Net Minders: Falcon, Terror, Chico
In the Line Up: El Chopo, Bullwinkle, Rocky, LaBamba, Matador, Chevy, Tonto, Snowpants, Sparky, Beep, Soupy, Sheepdog, Killer, Bulldog, Anvil, Sunny, Stevo, Sheepdog, Shack, Hurricane, Que, Jingles
Not in the Line Up: Slim Jim, Junior, May Day, Cribz, Kamikaze, Squid, Kramden
On the IR: The Turk, Spinner, Skippy, Skuz, The Big Easy, Tunzie, The Rake, Doc, Hollywood
Team Skinny: If you count all the players we have 25 players. We’ll see how things change by Tuesday 6:30.
Empties: Sparky needs a few good men to show up by 6:15 to help move the empties out of the Tomcat room for the off-season. Please consider helping out.
30th Gala: If you missed it, you missed a party for the ages! Great time had by all.
Golf Tournament: June 15, be there 9 a.m. for the 9 am start….It is a 2 man scramble. See Snowpants. June 1st is the Kapusta Open, see the Turk for details.
Change to Board of Directors (BoD) Meeting: It will now be Tuesday May 7th as Rocky has to travel the week of April 30th (World Ball Hockey meetings in Sweden). Any Tomcat can attend. Let Rocky know if you want to take part in the meeting with the BoD. Deadline to let Rocky know is Tuesday April 23rd.
TOMCATS FOREVER !
By Harry Ballsonue
“We tripped the light fandango, we did cartwheels across the floor, we were feeling kind of seasick but the crowd cried out for more.” Hollywood
Can you say parity? The goalies (Falcon, Chico and Terror) were tasked with team selection last night and they showed they know Tomcats and how to draft. Every game was decided by a single point!!! In the end, The Terror’s team prevailed, but great action all night. Each team had only one spare, so lots of floor time for all.
Killer, forever the trend setter, was there showing off the latest fashion from Paris/New York/Monaco:
Remember – Next week, April 16th is the last week of hockey. Usually a good turnout so let Rocky know now if you are in our out!
30th Gala
All tickets are sold with only a handful of cash to be submitted Saturday. Deposit on the meal has been paid. Door prizes are being lined up (fee free to donate). REMEMBER to show up to the event with either chips or a dessert. The night be memorable with speeches, slide show, two fantastic bands rockin’ it out, great food, drinks…really, a celebration like no other in Tomcat’s history. Don’t miss it!
Board Meeting
April 30th, 6:30pm at Rocky’s place. All Tomcats welcome, not just the Board members come have a say in the future of the Tomcats. Rocky needs to know by April 16th if you are taking part.
TOMCAT GOLF TOURNAMENT HAS BEEN SET
For those wishing to play this year, you will not have to take off a Friday. The tournament will be held on Saturday June 15. The start time is at 9 a.m. EVERYONE is asked to be there (Where?) by 8 a.m. so that the two man teams can be selected. (Top 12 will pick bottom 12) ‘Pick Me Pick Me Hicksee’. Well hold on there little cowboys…the format is a two man scramble and it is my understanding that several of the drives will have to be used by the ’not so strong’ golfer…so, it is a win-win for everyone. Tournament will be held at Sutton Creek again this year, they do treat the Tomcats great there and the facility afterwards is excellent. So mark the date in your calendar and mark the time. Be there on time and for Sim Jim…BE THERE. Snowpants wants to emphasize the fact that guys need to commit in order to secure a playing partner. The teams will be arranged along with their ‘fair’ handicap (as the teams pairings are based on that – somewhat randomly).
ALSO, The Turks four man scramble is to be held at Ambassador on Saturday June 1. This is an excellent tournament and the prize table is very very good. The food back at the Kapusta Now is excellent, so arrange for a four man team and get your money in to the Turk. It is to raise funds to help off set some of the costs for the hall, the hall that we have played hockey in for the past 30 years, so show your support and come out and play.
Until next time,
Howie Feltersnatch