Windsor Tomcats

by Harry Ballsonue

“What to my eyes should appear, but ten new pounds on my hips, thighs and rear” . Unknown Female

TEAMS

SOUPY DASHERS /DONNERS: Soupy, Hurricane, Lovie (Yes Lovie), Falcon (in net) Skippy (See photo below), Jingles, Bulldog and Shack

MATADOR DANCER/PRANCERS: Matador, The Terror (in net), Killer, Bullwinkle, Sparky, Tonto, El Choppo and Chevy

La BAMBA BLITZEN/VIXEN: La Bamba, Lizard, Stevo, Chico (In net) Kassian, Rocky, Sunny, and the Sheep Dog

Some incredible fast hockey last night, the talent level was incredible and it was demonstrated by the quick play.  Passes, shots, saves, you name it and Tuesday night hockey had it last night.

Thanks to Snowpants for reffing.  “He really did a great job out there, took control of the game and knew what he was doing, very authoritative out there,” stated Soupy of the Soupy Dashers-Donners.

Lovie surprised everyone by making it out to the night of hockey and not only did he make the trip from the Petrolia, he also brought a 60 banger of Wisers for the boys to enjoy!  That is super Tomcat spirit…thank you Lovie!  “It is so great coming back and seeing all the boys, it is an incredible to be with the guys tonight, I miss it, I don’t mind telling you that,” stated Lovie holding back tears.

Defensive player of the night, Shackalicious, “He is a great player and tenacious’” stated elder statesman Sunny.

La Bamba lovingly welcomes Lovie to Tomcat hockey last night

Tomcats own elf, Skippy, made an appearance.  “Merry Christmas to all and to all a Tomcat Good Night “…Skippy snickered

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

Great to see some of the alumni out last night, the Legend, Rex Brennan, Youngblood and the Sea Lion. It is always great when we are invited.  Some of the younger players use to watch the Legend and Rexy on TSN and were in awe of them.  It always makes them feel good when they see them amongst the Tomcats now.

The Matador, The Terror and Kamikaze, who is on IR but came out to be with the boys.  “Put her there Kamikaze.”

Sea Lion Sheep Dog and The Hurricane …Old guard with new defensive stalwart guard Sheep Dog

First night back in January will be on the 17th

ANOTHER STORY FROM THAT FAMOUS FLIGHT

So, by way of background, last week, our readers found out about TOMCAT 1, the plane the Tomcats fly on, had mechanical problems and could not fly out of Calgary.  The Tomcats had to fly commercial from Calgary on their western road trip. Readers have already heard the story about Snowpants meeting the sexologist.  Coach Sea Lion shares another story from that trip…

The plane flew from Calgary to Winnipeg then to Windsor.  In Winnipeg, some of the passengers disembarked and others got on.  One lady did not sit beside Sheep Dog but could hear him playing songs on his piano keyboard that he brings on road trips.  Sea Lion sat beside him as Sheep Dog played a couple of his original songs.  They were beautiful so Sea Lion asked, ‘Whats the name of that song?’  Sheep Dog responded, “Your pussy is a little bit smelly, but I still want to eat you out.”  Sea Lion, a stand up guy, gulped and said nothing.  Sheep Dog played another beautifully composed song, “What is that one called’” Sea Lion asked reluctantly. “In your ass, in my ass, let’s have some fun.”  Silence, Sea Lion is aghast and says nothing.  Sheep Dog starts to play another beautiful song but Sea Lion stops him, “Listen Sheep” he says, “Your music is fantastic but unless someone really wants to know the name of one of your songs, I would suggest you not say anything, understand?”  Sheep Dog understood. 

After about an hour into the flight, Sheep Dog got up to go have a pee.  Returning to his seat from the washroom, Sheep Dog’s barn door was open and Sheep’s penis was sticking out.  A lady stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but do you know your Pecker is sticking out of your pants?”  Sheep Dog looked at the lady and said, “Know it, I wrote it!”

Have a save and happy Holiday, whilst you are checking out the dog on the computer and wondering, what does my dog do when I’m out, and thinking ‘Know it, I wrote it’, could I put my Harry Ballsonue?

Merry Tomcat Christmas!

The day that started as a full-fledged mini, but ended up with only 2 teams, and one spare each.  No worries, the teams were well-balanced and had no issues keeping a fast pace all evening.  In fact, the Tomcats opted to play the NHL format, 3 twenty minute periods to the delight of the fans.

Teams:

Shack’s Black Candy Canes – Shack, The Ginger Bandit, Chevy, Rocky, Sunny and Tonto

Chico’s White Candy Corns – Chico, Killer, Spraky, Soupy, Bullwinkle and The Lizard

The game was even after the first period (4-4), then even after the second period (8-8).  However, the White Candy Corns proved to be too much for the Black Candy Canes and were able to out score Shack’s team 4-0, to end the game at 12-8.  Good clean, fast and exciting hockey…you missed a great night if you weren’t there.

Scenes from previous Christmas/Year-end gatherings in the Tomcat Den

By Harry Ballsonue

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” –Mother Teresa

TEAMS

The Hurricane Scouts: Hurricane, Falcon (net) Hollywood, Beep, Soupy, Rocky, Tonto and Snowpants

The Bulldog Barons: Bulldog, Chico (ne), Doc, El Choppo, Chevy, Bullwinkle, and Sunny

The Stevo Golden Seals: Stevo, Killer, Cribzie, Shack (net) Lizard, Matador, The Anvil

It is not often that I can say this, but WOW, was hockey very good last night.  Fast action, incredible passes and the net minders (Falcon, Shack and Chico) were amazing. Even the Overtime game between the Bulldog Barons and the Stevo Golden Seals, was exciting to watch.

The only black mark on the night, was when Bulldog (seemed like an accident) tripped Tonto and then viciously in another play hacked at the Matador.  Bulldog who has won, 27 straight Lady Bing awards was not disciplined or penalized on the trip or the slash. “We were out there trying to break their hearts and they were out there trying to break our sticks,” stated a distraught Matador.

In the early stages of the Mini, Snowpants went down, with what the Tomcats are calling a lower body injury.  “We will assess him tomorrow and he is listed as week by week.  I am not a medical doctor, but I would say, you won’t see Snowy in next weeks line up,” stated Head Coach of the Tomcats, Sea Lion

INJURIES

In other Tomcat injury news, Kamikaze is progressing well, he is not expected back in the line up anytime soon.  He will be attending on the 17th for Pizza and Beer. Tomcat Spirit is all around him.

Kamikaze out for four to five weeks …seen here at airport leaving for his winter home in Jamaica. “every ting going to be irie,” said Katymaze the wife …”during orgasms his screams are higher pitched,” she added.

The Tomcats are reporting that Jingles will be returning into the line up, next week, after a lengthy recovery from a knee injury.

FUNNY MOMENT FROM LAST WEEK

So Kamikaze is sitting up in a chair, in Sunny’s spot and has his leg up on another chair, Sparky approaches, points to the chair where Kamikaze’s leg is resting and says, “ahhhmm, that’s my chair.”  Too Funny.

FURUTE EVENTS

You should have, by now responded to Kamikaze and or Soupy as to whether or not you are in the Tomcat tournament Saturday February 29, 2020, if you have not done so, then please do so.

Tomcat Christmas Party, Tuesday December 17, $10 for pizza, beer and spirits compliments of the Tomcats, have a DD Please.

Tomcat Christmas party from December 2017, Stevo, May Day, The Turk,Hurricane, The Rake, The Legend and The Sea Lion, Almost 500 years of floor hockey in that photo.

A blog in pictures and some words By Harry Ballsonue

“ A picture paints a thousand words”.

TEAMS

The Chevy Shakers:  Chevy, Lizard, La Bamba, Sheep Dog, Falcon (in net) and Stevo

The El Choppo Movers:  El Choppo, Soupy, Snowpants, Kamikaze, Bagz (in net) and the Anvil

The Chico Rollers:  Chico, Tunzie, Matador, Sparky, The Terror (in net) and Kiler

Very good hockey last night in a mini, but Kamikaze went down in the second to last game, the latest is from the Doctors at the hospital, X Rays taken, no fracture, temporary cast put on (just in case) and the Kamikaze to go to the clinic tomorrow for further review. All the Tomcats are saying is that it is a lower body injury and that he will be assessed tomorrow and that he could be out for a few weeks. It was Kamikaze’s birthday tonight.  It was Sunny’s birthday too, he did not play and spent it with his family, the Unicorn and Helios.

Sheep Dog scored 7 goals last night, he was on fire, first star.

Big thanks goes to Chevy who accompanied  Kamikaze to the hospital, as the story goes, when the nurse asked if he was allergic to anything, he had answered ‘penicillin’, to which Doc and Chevy both piped up with, “ shouldn’t you tell her about the latex and KY allergy”.  Tomcats !! What fun guys.

This is either a leg of a gorilla or Kamikaze

Kamikaze being lead to sidelines

To see how the injury is, Matador preforms a simple test to see if Kamikaze can walk up the stairs, here Kamikaze is made to go up 5 steps

Kamikaze being lead off stage to waiting vehicle so he can be taken to hospital …Tinzir and Matador look at it as a “photo op”…

Tomcat Christmas Party

Everyone had a great time on Saturday November 23.

Tomcats at their spouses at their finest enjoying each others company and a little cheer for the Xmas holidays

Pit bull taking the lead and mingling with his fans! Autographs were free in this special occasion the line up was out the door!

Is that how Ukrainians kiss under the mistletoe?! Doesn’t matter as you can tell snowy really enjoyed it!

Last night of Hockey / Players only Christmas Party

Tuesday December 17, 2019 will be the last night of hockey for the Windsor Tomcats in 2019.  Pizza to be organized (By Jingles) and he or someone will collect $10 a person for the pizza.  Beer and spirits to be provided, but the Tomcats are asking that you have a DD or take a cab or Uber if you plan to indulge. Tomcats are being told that a BIG surprise guest will attend that night. We do not know who it is, but….show up to find out.

Tomcat Tournament 

Tournament goes Saturday February 29, 2020, Kamikaze has sent out an email asking who is in for the tournament and who is out…please respond.

Tuesday December 10; Tomcat Room Clean Up

Tomcats are looking for some volunteers on Tuesday December 10, to help clean out the empty beer cans from the Tomcat room.  Looking for folks to arrive 6:15 to help Sparky load up the truck

Battle Creek, Michigan

It appears Chevy has his 8 for Battle Creek, if you were sitting on the fence you have missed out on a trip of a life time. Photo below is from the 2019 trip, yes those are Tomcat golf shirts and they are beauties.

While you are checking out the names of the teams and the photo of the leg, and asking yourself ‘is that really a Gorilla leg’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue

Beer Bringers:  November 26 Soupy (24) Sheepdog (12) December 3:   Tunzie (24) Hollywood (12)

Net Minders: Falcon, The Terror, Bagz

In the Line Up: Stevo, Tonto, Killer , Snowpants, Kamikaze, Bulldog, Shack, Sunny, Soupy, Chevy, Chico, El Choppo, Lizard, Tunzie, Sparky, La Bamba, Squid, Sheep Dog, Matador, Anvil

Not in the Line up: Cribzie, Big Easy, May Day, Kramden,  Hurricane, Kramden, Rock and Bullwinkle, Sunny

On the Injured Reserve: Skippy, Jingles, Skuz, Hollywood, The Rake, Beep, Doc

Released on waivers and not claimed and sent to the minors: Slim Jim

The Skinny: We have  23 players.  Meaning: A Three team Mini with all three teams having  (3) spares. (WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT?)

Tomcat Christmas Party:  Don’t forget this Saturday November 23, is the Tomcat Christmas party at Rock Bottom, 7 pm start.  Park around on Brock Street in front of the old jail, by the cemetery.

Last night of Hockey: Last night of hockey for 2019 will be December 17, with Player only (all alumni welcome) party in the Tomcat Club…$10 For pizza…(Jingles to organize)

VERY VERY IMPORTANT: Please don’t drink and drive, have a DD or Uber it, maybe even call for a taxi….(November 23 and December 17)

In Other Leagues: Grey Cup is this Sunday, Hamilton Tiger Cats Vs. Winnipeg Blue Bombers, sit back and enjoy some football.  ( Keith Urban (for you country lovers) is the half time show)

TOMCATS FOREVER !

WTTTTK For Tuesday November 19

Beer Bringers:  Sunny (24) Falcon (12)  for November 26 Soupy (24) Sheep Dog (12)

Net Minders: Falcon, The Terror,

In the Line Up: Stevo, Tonto,  Cribzie,, Snowpants, Kamikaze, Bulldog, Shack, Sunny, Soupy, Chevy, El Choppo, Lizard, Sparky, Beep

Not in the Line up:  Squid, Rocky, Hurricane, Big Easy, Hollywood,  Sheep Dog, Kramden, May Day, La Bamba, Rake, Chico, Matador, Tunzie, Bagz, Bullwinkle, Killer,

On the Injured Reserve: Skippy, Doc, Jingles, Skuz,

Released on waivers and not claimed and sent to the minors: Slim Jim

The Skinny: We have 18 players.  Meaning that we cannot have anyone join at this time, if you are on the list as ’not playing’ then you are out, only way you can get in, is if someone on the list to play backs out.  Plain and Simple. We have two goalies and two teams…we will not be hunting for a third goalie and will stay at two teams.  Thank you for understanding.

Errors: If there are errors in ‘What The Tomcats Think They Know’, please let Stevo know as he is running the organization along with Kamikaze.

TOMCATS FOREVER !

by Harry Ballsonue

“Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog”

TEAMS

Kramden PANTHERS: Kramden, Soupy, El Choppo, Chico, Falcon (In Net), Chevy and Kamikaze

Sheep Dog SNOW LEOPARDS: Sheep Dog, Bullwinkle, Snowpants, Tonto, Cribzie, Stevo, The Rake and The Terror (in Net)

A perfect night to play at the Kapusta Now Palace, only two teams (last week three teams and three spares a side) this week one team had two spares and the other team had 3 spares.  Soupy made the teams.  The Sheep Dog Snow Leopards took both games, first game, was a goaltender duo, although the score does not reflect it, 10-9.  In the second game, The Falcon came across with his pad and made a super spectacular save with his pad, probably the save of the year.  The Terror was peppered with shots from the Panthers big guns, Chevy, Soupy, El Choppo but he held his own and kept the ball out, the Sheep Dog Snow Leopards take the second game, 8-4.

Debut by Kramden and Sheepdog had the place sold out …Both asked to get a photo taken with the Franchise Player …Bullwinkle 

Ref Doc called a penalty on the Panthers, Soupy was sent off for knocking the net off.  (the Snow Leopards went 0-1 on their power play and the Kramden Panthers were 1-0 on the penalty kill)

If you know you can’t play next week, please let Stevo know.

Tomcat hierarchy and the Board of Directors:

President is Rocky, Vice President is Kamikaze, Senior Vice President is Snowpants.  Special Advisor to the President is Sparky. Board of Directors are: Soupy, Sunny, Doc.

Last night of Hockey

Last night of Hockey for 2019 will be Tuesday December 17.  Tomcats to do pizza ($10) and will provide beer and spirits, please make sure you have a designated driver or that you make arrangements for  a ride if you plan to indulge.

Players on the IR and alumni are encouraged to attend.

Christmas Party

Saturday November 23 at Rock Bottom.  You and your significant other are invited.  You can order the food you wish, when you want and pay the tab and the end of the night.  Sunny, Chevy and Snowpants are your hosts on the evening, if you have any questions please get a hold of one of them.  Party is only 11 days away.

Tomcat Tournament February 29, 2020

As you read the heading, do you know that it is only 107 days away.  The draft will go January 14 or 21 and that is only 62 days away. Kamikaze and Soupy will be sending an email out to everyone asking if you are able to play this year.  Captains are Jingles (Will the Jingle Jets return), Bulldog, (The Bulldogs), Stevo, (Is it the Stevo Stingrays again this year) and Chico, ( a first time tournament team captain ) What team name will Chico come up with.

I Love it when….

In the NFL, I love it when the play by play ref- guy says “gentlemen that’s what the refs are talking about now …this play will be coming back there is no catch no doubt in my mind”…
Pause
Refs shown on t v looking into a small t v box.
Ref leaves the little monitor, turns to the crowd, turns on his mike and says,  “ after further review the play on the field stands, it is ruled a catch “

Silence in the booth.

Don Cherry

I must say that Sports Net dropped the ball in firing Don Cherry, I am glad they do not carry any of the Tomcat Games.  People should boycott Labatts and who ever they pick to replace Don Cherry the King of Hockey.  He knows hockey and is a dynamic personality.  People should wear a poppy no matter who you are. Don is one of the greatest Canadians ever and should be so recognized.  Shame on you Ron McLean for not sticking up for your mate, he made you and you threw him under the bus.  Where would you be today if it was not for Don, would you be doing weather in Saskatchewan?  I think some smart organization will hire Don Cherry and viewers and listeners will flock to where he is, if he wants to continue in broadcasting.  But maybe he should run for PM instead and tell Canada to lighten up.
Whilst you are thinking, ‘man I love that quote about the size of the dog and the size of the fight in the dog’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.