Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

“Though I know I’ll never lose affection, for people and things that went before, I know I’ll often stop and think about them, in my life I love you more.” The Beatles

TEAMS:

SOUPY CYCLONES: Soupy, The Terror in net, Bulldog, Lizard, La Bamba, Scooter and Stevo

BEEP MAVERICKS: Beep, the Ginger Bread Man, Killer, Cribzie, El Choppo, Tonto, Chevy and Chico in net

BULLWINKLE GRIZZLIES:  Bullwinkle, Snowpants, Jingles, Big Ned, Kamikaze, Rocky and Shack in net

Fierce action as always, good clean hockey, with parity throughout.  One OT game, with Snowpants netting the winner with 10 seconds left in the second period. “I basically used Stevo as a screen and blasted one at the net, It just so happened that it got by the Terror,” a beaming Snowpants said.  New guy Scooter played well, but was not able to notch a goal, “I was very happy to be out here today, I use to watch the Tomcats on TV, now to be here, I just can’t believe it,” an openly weeping Scooter stated.

Best moment of the night was when team Beep Mavericks did a shoutout chant, “Snowpants blows Mahommes.”  Very imaginative.  Fans loved it and even the players chuckled out loud.

Kamikaze made a return after a devastating ankle injury. “I felt good out there, the doctors gave me the go ahead.  I know it will be tender tomorrow, but I needed to get back on the horse and ride,” stated an exuberant Kamikaze.

Four of the finest Tomcats you will ever meet.

SHOUT OUT
Thanks to Snowpants for bringing the sticks up, The Terror for taking team yellow’s shirt home to wash and Soupy for picking teams and still finding time to go get ice for the beer…”Put her there boys!”

MOP SQUAD
Snowpants and Bullwinkle are looking for some volunteers to come to the Kapusta Kow on the Thursday before the tournament to mop up the floors (playing area and stage area).  The date of that would be Feb 27, 2020.  Please contact Snowpants or Bullwinkle for time and particulars.

RULES COMMITTEE
The rules committee is looking at changing the high stick rule.  They are looking for an implementation as soon as possible but are targeting the tournament, Feb 29, 2020 as the date they would like for it to be implemented.  “Basically, the rule would be as soon as you lift your stick over the should area, touching or not touching the ball, it would be a stopped play.  The rationale:  We don’t want anyone accidentally getting hurt with a high stick,” stated Kamikaze, tournament organizer.

HURRICANE DONE FOR SEASON
“It looks like I am done for the season,” stated Hurricane, holding back tears….. He added, “I have a fracture on the knee cap.  I have a brace to stabilize it.  Not much can be done except keeping it somewhat immobilized and not bending it too much.”  Tomcats management indicates there will be no intervention considered unless it doesn’t improve.  It is more of a ‘time thing’ to heal and we can’t take a chance and have him play…we need him to rest for next season.  Coach Sea Lion stated, “Any time you loose a tenacious player like the Hurricane, it is tough on the line up.  We are going to send him to a medical spa in Mexico for 6 weeks and try treating him with viagra.”  When asked if that will help the knee heal, Coach Sea Lion responded with, “No, but it will keep his mind off his sore knee.”

Jingles Jets captain, Jingles, is expecting big things from big Ned!

Tournament Teams have been selected, check previous blog to see what team you are on.  It is a 8:30am start, Saturday February 29th.  Cost for tournament is $20 paid to your Captain, who in turn pays Rocky.  $10 for pizza, pay Jingles for that and let him know if you will be involved with pizza on tournament day.  Drinks and pizza will be at the Kapusta Kow, so you do not have to go anywhere.  We are asking that if you plan to indulge, then please have a Designated Driver.  Beer will be supplied by the Tomcats.

NEW GOLF TOURNAMENT; Friday July 7th KOBASSA OPEN
Stevo is organizing a new golf tournament this year, it is a two man scramble, it will be called the Kobassa Open, not the Keilbassa Open…cost is $10 to enter plus golf cost.  $10 will get you dinner and drinks after the golf tournament at Stevo’s place.  There will also be a first place prize for the winners.  If interested get your $10 to hold your spot.  The tournament will only go with an even amount of guys (two man scramble, if you understand the concept).  It should be a fun day, it’s a Friday in the summer, so, why not join to play.

While you are thinking about poor Hurricane and being out for the season, and maybe asking him to bring you back some Viagra, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

by Management

Beer Bringers:  Doc (12) from last week, Chevy (24) Stevo (12)

Beer Bringers On Deck:  Tonto (24) Hurricane (12)

Netminders:  The Terror, Shack, Chico

In the line up:  Squid, Kamikaze, Bullwinkle, Killer, Rocky, Cribzie, Snowpants, Stevo, Jingles, Bulldog, Beep, Soupy, Chevy, La Bamba, El Choppo, The Lizard, Big Ned, Tonto

Not in the Line Up:  Hollywood, Sparky, Kramdon, Bagz, Sunny, Sheep Dog, Falcon, Frost Bite, May Day, The Matador

On the Injured Reserve:  Skippy, The Turk, Big Easy, The Rake, The Hurricane, Doc (listed as day to day)

Here is the Low Down from Downtown Brown:  21 players in the line up, now that can change at a drop of a hat, if we have the line up wrong, please text Rocky.

Tournament Teams have been selected, check blog to see what team you are on, it is an 8:30am start, Saturday February 29, 2020.  Cost for tournament is $20 paid to your Captain, who in turn pays Rocky.  $10 for pizza, pay Jingles for that and let him know if you will be involved with pizza on tournament day.  Drinks and pizza will be at the Kapusta Kow, so you do not have to go anywhere…We are asking that if you plan to indulge, then please have a Designated Driver.

TOMCATS FOREVER !

By Harry Ballsonue

Bulldog Pelee Ilanders

Lizard, Chevy, Bullwinkle, Sparky, El Choppo, Kamikaze, Terror, Bulldog

Jingle Jets

Tweetie Bird, Falcon, Soupy, Killer, Big Ned, Rocky, The Matador, Jingles

Chico’s ‘Bunch of Jerks’   

Lovie, Beep, Sheep Dog, Squid, La Bamba, Tonto, Frost Bite, Chico

Stevo Knights

Tunize, Sunny, Shack, May Day, Eagle, Cribzie, Snowpants, Stevo

TEAMS ARE EVEN

No runaway winner from what the hockey experts are saying right now, the Ginger Bread Man chimed in, with Bulldog Pelee  Inlanders vs the Chico Bunch of Jerks in the final. Skippy will have his say in a few days and his blog will be posted for all to enjoy.

Just wish to remind everyone that the tournament is about fun, the full team photo, 6 new tee shirts, some pizza eating, some laughter and of course a few beers with great friends. IT IS NOT A STEP TO THE NHL.

Teams last night

Stevo Bears Stevo, Sunny, Tunzie, Matador, Big Ned, Hollywood and Shack

Bulldog Lions Bulldog, Lizard, Chevy, Snowpants, Sparky, Jingles, and the Falcon

Chico Bengels Chico, Bullwinkle, Soupy, Squid, Hurricane, Frost Bite and Tonto

Very very fast hockey last night, it was as if, players were trying to impress the four captains and their draft selections.  Chico Bengels won the mini.

Thanks to Sparky from brining out food, that’s to Snowpants for putting away the sticks, thanks to Shack for putting away the clock, thanks to Tunzie for getting ice for the beer cooler, thanks to Chico for emptying the ice from the beer cooler, thanks to everyone for pitching in and helping

Thanks Hollywood for organizing all the tee shirts for us

Big  Ned scores on Frost Bite, on a Soupy give away.

NEW GOLF TOURNAMENT; FRIDAY JULY 17, KOBASSA OPEN

Stevo is organizing a new golf tournament this year, it is a two man scramble, it will be called the Kobassa Open, not the Keilbassa Open…cost is $10 to enter plus golf cost.  $10 will get you dinner and drinks after the golf tournament at Stevo’s place.  There will also be a first place prize for the winners.  If interested get your $10 to hold your spot.  The tournament will only go with an even amount of guys (two man scramble, if you understand the concept).  It should be a fun day, it’s a Friday in the summer, so, why not join to play.

NHL STEALS TOMCAT MINI FORMAT

Not sure if you watched the NHL all star game this past weekend, but did you notice their format, 4 teams, a mini tournament….Hmmmmm…..

RUMOUR MILL

It was suggested to Rocky, that everyone get a room to a hotel and that the four Captains, Jingles, Bulldog, Stevo and Chico go to each room at 4:30 in the morning  (Canadian Juniors) and wake the guys up, telling them what team they are on, but Rocky said, “knowing the Tomcats, none of them would wake up to answer the door, so just do it the way we have always done it”.

SNOWPANTS IN THE SUPERBOWL

No one wears more NFL gear than Snowpants and his 49’r gear, you know he is a fan, so good luck to you Snowpants this Sunday, if only the NFL wasn’t fixed, you might have a chance.

IN ENDING

While you are checking out the tournament teams and thinking who has the strongest team, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

“Living in a fish eye lens, caught in the camera eye.  I have no heart to lie.
I can’t pretend the stranger is a long-awaited friend.”  NP

While no mini last night, the hockey was fast and furious, and not a far cry from what we expect to see come tournament time.  The teams were:

Frostbite’s Freewills – Frostbite in net, Jingles, Soupy, Killer, Sunny, Shack, Bullwinkle and a random ginger
Falcon’s Force Ten – Falcon in net, Squid, Sparky, Tunzie, Snowpants, LaBamba, Rocky, Hollywood and Hurricane

To showcase his talents ahead of February’s annual tournament, Frostbite made his return and what a return it was!  He was peppered with shots in the first game, and made save after save, flashing leather when required.  “Frostbite made saves beneath, between and behind his pads all night,” lamented Jingles.  “His draft status is moving up quick,” continued Jingles, a captain in this years tournament.  “We thought we would have to treat him with kid gloves since it was a while since he played,” noted Sunny.  “However, that guy was a modern day warrior in the net, and we could play aggressively on offense knowing he would backstop us,” continued Sunny.

After an early deficit, however, Force Ten, showing grace under pressure, was able to take the lead, only to end up losing it in the end by 8-6.

The second game was just as fast, but tilted completely towards the Freewills.  Very quickly, the score was 6-1.  The Greek Connection was in full force, with beautiful set-ups and passes between Sunny and Soupy.  “That play was so quick and precise, I didn’t even see the pass cross the crease and the next thing I know it was in the back of the net,” said Sparky.  “Those guys deserve the big money come contract negotiation time,” said coach and GM Sea Lion.  Second game ended 7-3.

Thanks to Sparky for bringing his truck to load up the empties.  Also thanks to Sunny, Tunzie, Bullwinkle and Squid for helping load them up.  These guys are the working man’s working man, always helping out the Tomcats at every turn.

Also thanks to Sparky for bringing in home-made sausages for the boys afterwards (we understand Bullwinkle may have given him the idea).

Tournament Draft – due to the schedules of the captains (Chico, Stevo, Bulldog and Jingles), the draft was postponed until next Tuesday.  Some captains have already submitted their team names and shirt ideas.  The next month will be a rush of activity for these captains and tournament organizers (Soupy and Kamikaze).  Please offer to assist and respond to any requests as necessary.  Prize donations are always appreciated.

New Golf Tournament – Friday July 17 – Kobassa Open
Stevo is organizing a new tournament this year.  A two man scramble, called the Kobassa Open…not the Keilbassa Open.  Cost is $10 to enter, plus the golf cost.  $10 will get you dinner and drinks after golf at Stevo’s place.  There will also be first place prizes for the winners.  If interested, get $10 to Stevo for your spot.  The tournament needs an even amount of guys to make it a go (two man scramble, if you understand the concept).  I should be a fun day, it’s a Friday in the summer so why not join?

Next Week:  Rocky is out of town.  Hollywood has the book.  Let Stevo know if you cannot play.  It is okay to let Rocky know up until this Friday…after that, let Stevo know.

Until next time, remember to…

Freeze this moment a little bit longer.
Make each sensation a little bit stronger.
Experience slips away
Time stand still

Howie Feltersnatch

(By the way, if you can identify all the Rush references in this post, Rocky might just get you a six pack).

By Harry Ballsonue

“Sometime I look at people and I think, ‘really’?, that’s the sperm that won”. Unknown Author

TEAMS:

Bullwinkle Packers: Bullwinkle, Falcon (G), Killer, Squid, Beep, Matador, Jingles

Snowpants 49’rs: Snowpants, Sunny, Hollywood, May Day, The Terror (G), Sparky, Rocky, Hurricane

La Bamba Chiefs: La Bamba, Stevo, Lizard, Tonto, Shack (G), Soupy, The Ginger Bread Man

Big Easy Titans: Big Easy, Bagz (G), Kramden, The Anvil, Cribzie, Sheep Dog, Kamikaze, Bulldog, Chevy

The Ginger Bread Man

The Ginger Bread Man scored the first goal of 2020, only 7 seconds into the first game.

There was also a ‘goaltender interference’ call made on the Ginger Bread Man.  The play was called off within 10 seconds, why can’t the NHL get it down so quick

Thanks to Sparky for bringing some delicious treats tonight. Keilbassa, cheese and crackers.

DRAFT GOES JANUARY 21

Next week the draft goes, let the misses know you will stay a bit longer on stage to see how the Captains select their teams.  Captains are Jingles, Stevo, Chico and the Bulldog. The draft order is: Bulldog (Green Team C) first pick, second pick goes to Jingles (Crimson Team B), third to Chico (White (Ha Ha) Team A) and Stevo (Black Team D) gets fourth pick.

MEDICAL FRONT

The Turk is undergoing a knee replacement surgery today, the entire Tomcat organization is wishing him the best, let’s hope the knee replacement brings him back playing Tomcat hockey, maybe not goalie, but at D and blocking 150 shots a night.  The Rake is said to be on the road to recovery and is eyeing an early March return.

A Man was hospitalized after taking ‘Viagra for bulls’. Reports of a man in Mexico being hospitalized recently after he purchased a sexual stimulant used for breeding animals its no cock and bull story, the man was said to have taken the drug because he was going to have sex with a 31 year old. True story.

NO NEW NICKNAME FOR LIZARD

“There are a number of suggestions made to Rocky, due to the draft order and colour of jerseys and trying to find a fourth goalie, we did not select a new nick name for the Lizard, so he remains the Lizared for at least the next 2 weeks as the draft is next week”, Rocky indicated. You still have time to get your name in.  Text or email Rocky.

HOLLYWOOD ORGANIZING

Hollywood is organizing a Ukrainian New Years Eve Dance, for his Ukrainian Folk Dancing group, Barvinok, it will be at the Greek Hall on Walker at EC Row, Greek Food, live band from Toronto, fun times, tickets are only $60 per person.  If you are interested in going, please contact Hollywood directly.

Rocky’s idol passed away last week, God bless Neil Peart.

POLITICAL STATEMENT

I read a quote the other day (American influenced) and I liked it, so I am placing it in today’s blog.  ‘We owe our illegals nothing, we owe our veterans everything , that should be priority number one, let’s stop spending money on other countries and let them hate us for free.”

Empties:

Sparky is looking for a few good men to help load the beer empties prior to next week’s games.  Please arrive a bit early to help Sparky carry the empties from the Tomcat Room to his truck.

While you are checking the internet for the Viagar for Bulls, do you think I can put my Harry Ballsonue.

By Harry Ballsonue

“No one can go back and get a brand new start. But anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

The Kapusta Now Palace sits quietly, waiting for the Tomcats to arrive on January 14th.  Soupy and Kamikaze are going through the players that have signed up for tournament and are following up with players they have not heard from, They will be advising Rocky what the numbers are and if new players need to be ’showcased’  in the next few weeks.

TOMCAT GOALIES
The list of the Tomcat goalies are as follows: Falcon, Terror, Bags, Skippy, Chico, Shack, Hurricane.  Hollywood on IR as a goalie and Stevo, just not sure if his knee can take playing goalie.  So Tomcats looking for some new blood in net, just in case, if you have someone, know someone, check with Rocky and contact the person you know and see if they are willing to come out.  “If anyone took shots from their mom or sister when they were younger, and if you think they could still play in net, then let us know,” stated Rocky.

DRAFT GOES JANUARY 21
Jingles is going over scouting reports, Bulldog is discussing goal tending with Bearcat, Chico is going over team name ideas with his son Sparrow, and Stevo is working on a team name and logo.

NICK NAME SEARCH CONTINUE
Don’t forget to be active and come up with some names for Lizard.  I am being told that some names have been submitted.  It will be nice to have more…maybe do your part to help out.  “I can’t submit any names as I have given names before, I gave him the Lizard name, just for the purposes of the blog.  It would be nice to see 5-6 guys come up with a name or two, I have to believe in the Tomcats and that some will put some names forward, I hope the guys don’t disappoint me,” stated Stevo, who has named, Soupy, Lovie, Sunny Kamikaze Doc just to name a few.  Now it is YOUR TURN.

“You’ll never get bored when you try something new. There’s really no limit to what you can do.” – Dr Seuss

I hope you like the cute cartoon, while you are giggling out loud (GOL) do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

by Harry Ballsonue

“What to my eyes should appear, but ten new pounds on my hips, thighs and rear” . Unknown Female

TEAMS

SOUPY DASHERS /DONNERS: Soupy, Hurricane, Lovie (Yes Lovie), Falcon (in net) Skippy (See photo below), Jingles, Bulldog and Shack

MATADOR DANCER/PRANCERS: Matador, The Terror (in net), Killer, Bullwinkle, Sparky, Tonto, El Choppo and Chevy

La BAMBA BLITZEN/VIXEN: La Bamba, Lizard, Stevo, Chico (In net) Kassian, Rocky, Sunny, and the Sheep Dog

Some incredible fast hockey last night, the talent level was incredible and it was demonstrated by the quick play.  Passes, shots, saves, you name it and Tuesday night hockey had it last night.

Thanks to Snowpants for reffing.  “He really did a great job out there, took control of the game and knew what he was doing, very authoritative out there,” stated Soupy of the Soupy Dashers-Donners.

Lovie surprised everyone by making it out to the night of hockey and not only did he make the trip from the Petrolia, he also brought a 60 banger of Wisers for the boys to enjoy!  That is super Tomcat spirit…thank you Lovie!  “It is so great coming back and seeing all the boys, it is an incredible to be with the guys tonight, I miss it, I don’t mind telling you that,” stated Lovie holding back tears.

Defensive player of the night, Shackalicious, “He is a great player and tenacious’” stated elder statesman Sunny.

La Bamba lovingly welcomes Lovie to Tomcat hockey last night

Tomcats own elf, Skippy, made an appearance.  “Merry Christmas to all and to all a Tomcat Good Night “…Skippy snickered

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

Great to see some of the alumni out last night, the Legend, Rex Brennan, Youngblood and the Sea Lion. It is always great when we are invited.  Some of the younger players use to watch the Legend and Rexy on TSN and were in awe of them.  It always makes them feel good when they see them amongst the Tomcats now.

The Matador, The Terror and Kamikaze, who is on IR but came out to be with the boys.  “Put her there Kamikaze.”

Sea Lion Sheep Dog and The Hurricane …Old guard with new defensive stalwart guard Sheep Dog

First night back in January will be on the 17th

ANOTHER STORY FROM THAT FAMOUS FLIGHT

So, by way of background, last week, our readers found out about TOMCAT 1, the plane the Tomcats fly on, had mechanical problems and could not fly out of Calgary.  The Tomcats had to fly commercial from Calgary on their western road trip. Readers have already heard the story about Snowpants meeting the sexologist.  Coach Sea Lion shares another story from that trip…

The plane flew from Calgary to Winnipeg then to Windsor.  In Winnipeg, some of the passengers disembarked and others got on.  One lady did not sit beside Sheep Dog but could hear him playing songs on his piano keyboard that he brings on road trips.  Sea Lion sat beside him as Sheep Dog played a couple of his original songs.  They were beautiful so Sea Lion asked, ‘Whats the name of that song?’  Sheep Dog responded, “Your pussy is a little bit smelly, but I still want to eat you out.”  Sea Lion, a stand up guy, gulped and said nothing.  Sheep Dog played another beautifully composed song, “What is that one called’” Sea Lion asked reluctantly. “In your ass, in my ass, let’s have some fun.”  Silence, Sea Lion is aghast and says nothing.  Sheep Dog starts to play another beautiful song but Sea Lion stops him, “Listen Sheep” he says, “Your music is fantastic but unless someone really wants to know the name of one of your songs, I would suggest you not say anything, understand?”  Sheep Dog understood. 

After about an hour into the flight, Sheep Dog got up to go have a pee.  Returning to his seat from the washroom, Sheep Dog’s barn door was open and Sheep’s penis was sticking out.  A lady stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but do you know your Pecker is sticking out of your pants?”  Sheep Dog looked at the lady and said, “Know it, I wrote it!”

Have a save and happy Holiday, whilst you are checking out the dog on the computer and wondering, what does my dog do when I’m out, and thinking ‘Know it, I wrote it’, could I put my Harry Ballsonue?

Merry Tomcat Christmas!