Shamus questions ‘weeping’ St. Felix statue in Windsor

Posted by Youngblood on November 4, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

By Craven Moorehead

weeping saint felixCommissioner Stevo of the monthly St. Felix and Windsor Tomcats Ball Hockey Club in Windsor said he’s well aware of the stir that the statue has caused.

He said Jingles approached him in March with stories about the statue outside his house, which is said to weep tears of healing Rub A535 at night and which has attracted scores of floor hockey players to a formerly quiet Windsor neighbourhood.

But the Commissioner said he has investigated the matter and that he cannot agree with Jingles’ statements. He said Jingles and the statue do not represent the league.
“At best, it is just Icy Hot, and at worst, well, I don’t want to know” The statesman of the league said. He adds: “They do say that Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound”.

Meanwhile, longtime friend of Jingles, Shamus, has decided not to investigate the statue any further.

He says that once Jingles gets a couple of those fancy ‘Blue Moon’ beers in him, he starts seeing many ‘miracles’, including the crying St. Felix.

“To be honest, I think the statue is crying, but more just about the way Youngblood played last week” Shamus said. “The next thing will be Jesus appearing in some perogies.”

Until next time, I’ll be Craven Moorehead

Collared Shirt Can Help

Posted by Youngblood on November 3, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment
….by Harry Ballsonue   
 

I watched the games last night and noticed a few white Ghost crossing shirts…they did not seem to be scoring much, I noticed a couple of black Tomcat Shirts, with the Royal type logo, a few goals from those guys, I noticed an old Purple’s shirt with # 32 on, effective, but not a lot of goal production….but then one shirt jumped at me, it was a blue Collared shirt worn by Shamus Goldstein. In all of my years of covering the Tomcats, not once have I seen someone wear a collared shirt, I wondered if the shirt would help…..and sure enough it did.  In the three games, where the Blackcats scored a total of 16 goals, Shamus Goldstein popped 8 or 9 goals. YES! 8 or 9 goals!!! That is like 50% of all the goals.

“It’s a 13 year old shirt” Said Goldstein during a commercial time out.

“Next week I plan to wear a tie” stated Chevy Szcewczuk.

Victor ‘Snowpants’ Ferranti, who ran the goalie, Mike ‘the Falcon’ Menzel, played the entire game and did not leave early with an injury as in past weeks.  Mike Menzel will be undergoing an MRI for that collision today on a precautionary basis. “He just about knocked my moustache off” stated a woozy Menzel, “I can’t believe he did not get a penalty and get thrown out of the game for that”. indicated an upset and injured Mike Menzel.

“Oh we were ready to fight him” state Ken ‘Cribz’ Cribley, but Coach told three or four of us, “just play our game, we don’t need to be a goon like Snowflake….let’s get a few goals and win this thing”,indicated Cribley.

And Happy Birthday to a couple of Tomcats, to Paul Poisson, who celebrated a birthday yesterday, November 2.and to Johnny ‘the Mayor’ Matuiska who celebrates a birthday today, November 3 and to brand new Tomcat, as of yesterday, Vince ‘Boomba’ Vlaminck, whose birth it is today, November 3.  He turns 49 today for those keeping score.

Beer next week from Andy Brewin and Killer brings 12.

Remember, Fat bottom girls make the rock n world go round….I’m Harry Ballsonue

Hockey Talent Galore!

Posted by Youngblood on November 3, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: . Leave a comment

…..an article by Heywood Jewblowmee

HELLCATS; Youngblood, Razor, Dave Hann, Snowpants, Lovie, Mykel J, Killer and new call up, Vince ‘Bomba’ Vlaminck

BLACKCATS; Shamus, Jingles, Cribz, Stevo, Falcon, Spinner, Chevy and Rocky

3 Spares aside last night…good showing.

It was Fine night…and Jingles Kuprowski did not disappoint..he was to bring 36 beers for not showing up to last years tournament…..The Jingleroo….did what the Jingleroo does and brought 50 beer on stage.

Hellcats started out strong in the first game, winning 7 to 5 over the Blackcats…..

The Second game was a different story…with a 6 to one leads the Blackcats were in control…the Hellcats game back and scored a couple to make it a 7-4 final.

In the final game, a game to only 5….The Hellcats took a 4 to nothing lead, only to lose 5 – 4 to the pesky Blackcats. “They just never game up”, stated Lovie Edgar, “They just kept chipping away and chipping away”.

Snowpants ran the goalie in the second game and all three, Kenny ‘ Sugar Ray’ Cribz, Chad ‘Rocky’ Comartin and Kevin ‘Apollo’ Kuprowski wanted to drop the gloves with Snowpants, but the Coach of the Blackcats said, “No boys, let’s win the game and then beat him up in the parking lot”.

New comer, Vince ‘ Bomba’ Vlaminck was impressive in his first night out, scoring two goals and making some very good plays. Tomcats could use a guy like this, come tournament time, he would be rated fairly high, from what I could see.

No Purples for the boys last night, as they filed on the bus to catch a flight to Washington.

See you all next Tuesday as it is Andy Brewin’s night for beer and Killer brings a 12…and when I see you….Heywood Jewblowmee.

From high above the seats in the press box…

Posted by Youngblood on October 27, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment
Heywood Jewblowmee
 

As  I watched the game last night I could see the teams are getting to ‘mid season’ form.  Lots of crisp passes and some fantastic saves on both sides of the floor.

Team HellCats; Hollywood, Turk, Youngblood, Spinner, Shamus, Stevo, Lovie

Team Blackcats; Falcon, Snowpants, Chevy, Rocky, Sparky, Stevo, Doc Brewin

Scores were something like 7-5 and 6-7.

Stevo Jaworiwsky seemed to have it going on last night, with his hip injury getting better, he made some pretty passes and had some rushes..here and there.

Lovie sat out the first game, due to some sort of discipline situation with the Tomcats…you see it quite often in the NFL now where a player will be sat a couple of quarters and then be put in the game…this is the first time for the Tomcats to do something like that…not sure exactly, why he did not start playing till mid way through the second game, but rumour was that it was because of the high gas prices and that he has not brought them down to where they should be, which is around 65 cents per liter.

counted 48 beers (MGD, Becks, Heinken) amongst 11 drinkers…..that is a good amount….

Stevo played for both teams last night, as Snopants Ferranti left in early in the second game with a lower body injury.

Till next week…when you see me….Heywood Jewblowmee.

Two Spares a Side

Posted by Youngblood on October 27, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment
by Harry Ballsanoue       
 
The goalies were magnificent last night, like ballerinas, on their toes making save after save after save. “It is always great making a nice glove save, it is much nicer when it is on Lovie Edgar”, indicated Razor MacDonnel.
 
Snowpants left the game with a lower body injury for what the Tomcats are calling a lower body injury,  He is listed day-to-day.
 
11 drinkers on stage and 40 beers…all went except for one bottle of a Vodka drink (Bulldogs).
 
Bulldog is out till December and so is Louis Konegsberger.
 
A few Tomcats went to Purples after, but I was not allowed in, so I could not take any paparazzi type pictures.
 
Remember,  Fat bottom girls make the rock n roll world go round.
 
I’m Harry Ballsanoue,

Another take on Tuesday Night

Posted by Youngblood on October 21, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment

From the Press Box by Heywood Jewblowmee

So I am covering the game last night from high above the Kapusta Kow Palace in the press box.  They were serving Perogies, Cabbage rolls, pigs in a blanket and Fuzzy’s pizza last night in the press box…all very good, but the hockey was better.

Teams seemed evenly balanced, with the Black team having a bit more in the way of lucky bounces, it seemed.  The White team played their game, with smooth passes and solid shots on the net, but Razor was ‘Johnny on the Spot’ and was able to make the save.

Lovie was his usual ‘Bret Hull’ self, (not disruptive in the dressing room) just a solid player with a solid snap shot.

The White Hellcats got a goal called back, on a slap shot by new comer Sammy Salaris, “yeah a slapped it” Salaris had said after the call was made.

You still like to see integrity in the game….and when that goal was called back, no one argued, except for Killer Colasanti who said, ‘Hey it went off my stick’. True. But it was a slap shot that did that. “Oh yeah” Killer acknowledged. I love that guy.

Speaking of Killer, he comes, sits alone in the back of the stage…checks his emails on his black berry..has a couple of beers, talks to the boys and then when he is going home, everyone says, ‘bye Killer…see you Killer…good work out there Killer…..take care Killer’.

All the boys are friendly, when Rocky leaves, he gets, “See you Rock Star”.

When Mike Menzel leaves he gets, “Check out the ass on mike”. Mike always responds with, “There isn’t one”.

Once again, Snowpants Ferranti left a game slightly injured. But returned to score a goal in the Bobby Baun way.

Four spares a side…and regulars not there Hollywood, Crow, Doc and injured reserve Junior and the Rake…WOW!

When we meet again, Heywood Jewblowmee,