by Harry Ballsanoue
Hellcats; Falcon, Soupy, Sunny, Snowpants, Spinner, Stevo, Skippy, Youngblood and Killer
Blackcats; Razor, Lovie, Jingles, Shamus, Sparky, Chevy. Hurricane Rocky and the Turk
Full house at the Kapusta Kow Palace, Blackcats Captain Lovie Edgar tried matching his lines so that his Blackcats could kick some Hellcat butt…which they did, handing the Hellcats three straight losses of 7-4, 7-5 and 7-4, “We just could not catch any breaks today”, indicated Helcat Captain Sunny Salaris.
Razor MacDonnel who has been feeling a bit under the weather, had a stellar game in between the pipes and even told Lovie after the game that he could save the lives of 5 cigars that Lovie brought him from some small island in the Caribbean . “It may take me 6 months, but I’ll bring these back to life” the Razor had said.
Highlight of the night for the Hellcats, was when fourth string goalie, Skippy Renaud scored a goal on Razor, “That embarrassing” stated Youngblood Morgan, that is like a Pitcher getting a home run on another pitcher.
The night became, almost magical, as the Pizza Man, Fuzzy himself arrived with a box of delicious pizza for the boys on the stage to enjoy. “I wanted to do something for the boys on the stage”. indicated Fuzzy, as he received compliment after compliment on his tasty pizza, “So I got half deluxe and half Tomcat Specia, fomr my Pizzarial” Fuzzy stated.
Andy Morgan who was suppose to bring only 12 beer, brought an extra six of MGD and Soupy Salaris brought Bud light for the boys to enjoy.
After the games, there was some speculation that Snowpants was to sing some songs next week, but I am now being told that, that may not happen for a few weeks, as he has to find his leather snakeskin pants for the occasion,
Over all a very good night, if you missed it, there is next week, but this is the first week of Tomcat hockey that they had four spares a side. Keep it up boys.
Remember, Fat bottom girls make the rock n world go round!
Till next time, I’m Harry Ballsonoue.
So I (youngblood) am currently loaded in my former stompinh grounds of waterloo at oktoberfest…and I get an email about another bet that was made on draft (also drinking drought, symbolically) night. Here is the email:
“Andy
I also made the second bet with Junior. He said that PK Suban will have at least 35 points. I said he will have less. I don’t remember what the $ amount was.
Zchabba”
This tells me two things. One: I have been spelling ‘Zchabba’ wrong and, two, I seem to remember the bet was for a paltry five dollars. Correct in the comments if necessary.
Cleveland Steamers are not for youtube
Tomcat web site has been up for a few weeks and has about 1 million hits on it already….
This is just a little reminder that if you have a few minutes on Wednesday morning, check it out, as there will be a little write up about the Tuesday night games on the site on Wednesday morning by 10.
ALSO….encouraging all of you to consider contributing to the site…as you see fit….yes some armature porn of you would be fine….but some hockey stuff would be better.
You can make your submissions to Andy Morgan at andrew.wade.morgan@gmail.com
That’s all for now folks.
Stay Beautiful!
Tomcats Forever at www.windsortomcats.com
S,
Written by Harry Ballsanoue
I watched last nights game from the press box and two very strong teams played against each other in what some called, the ‘best night of talent on the Kapusta Kow floor in a long while’. I agreed as I watched David Crawford spin his magic from all corners of the floor. I watched Mike Edgar freeze net minder Michael Jaworiwsky as if he was a 5 year old, getting a shot taken on him by his 19 year old brother. “Lovie put that ball in the same corner three times, he is an awesome player and an awesome guy” M. Jaworiwsky said after the game, with his face wet and beet red.
Other highlights were Soupy Salaris’s three goal performance on his first night on the Kapusta Kow Palace. “I had a lot of fun out there, but man is it fast…I did not think it would be that fast’ Soupy Salaris had said.
Jingles made a very pretty blind back hand pass that was missed by Shamus Goldstein.
Snowpants was his energetic self, scoring, assisting and just being a great team guy.
I watched as the Tomcats folded away the hockey goods and then proceeded to the stage to enjoy some Keith’s and some Sleeman Draught.
It was Jingles Kuprowski, who I heard later had saved the day, by suggesting that the Tomcats put in all 24 beers instead of just the usual add on 12. 17 very thirsty players lapped up the icy cold beer as they told stories of intrigue and girls, with George ‘the Turk’ Metulynsky doing a very good impression of Soupy Sales.
BY Tomcat Web Site Blogger, Heywood Jewblowmee.
Chevy Falcon Sunny Soupy Lovie Youngblood Sparky Rocky vs. Crow Spinner Stevo Cribz Shamus JIngles The Turk Hollywood (Pete Peters) Snowpants
Two very talented squads were sent out on Tuesday night, the White Hawks vs the Dark Side….with the Dark Side taking two of the three games….7-6 7-4, 5-1. Mykel ‘Hollywood (Pete Peters) Jaworiwsky played awesome in net and averaged a 5.00 goals against average on the night after three games.
David ‘Crow’ Crawford was a standout, netting 8 goals in the three contests. “I love it out there” Crow indicated, “I even got to set up Stevo tonight…what can be better then that.” Crow had stated.
Lovie, being Lovie, netted three pretty goals in the top corner. “Once in a while it just seems to work for me” Edgare had stated. “Where does he get the speed”? Asked Snowpants Ferranti, who, had a stellar game, but left the last game with a lower body injury.
Youngblood continues to play well for the Tomcats this year.
Newest Tomcat Soupy Salaris notched three goals for the White Squad.
Continue Reading
“Where you going next week Hollywood? The AVN awards?” – Lovie
“The guy was flicken his nose at me” – Jingles
“Tits ass” – Hollywood
“You don’t know Soupy Sales?” – Turk
“You should look up some old Soupy Sales” – Stevo
“You have Goldie Hawn in her fuckin bikini dancing around when she was fuckin hot” – Turk
Bet announcement:
Shamus has bet that your Windsor Spitfire alumni Taylor Hall will score more points than fellow teammate and Swede Magnus Penjarvi Punjabi. Who took that action? Zhabba. The stakes you ask? A juicy wilfred laurier (that’s 5 CAD).
Junior also has placed a prop bet. Stay tuned for details.
Also Menzel has just announced that the movie ‘Rudy’ is gay and he was an eight line player who should have never seen the field.
Boys, here is the Bubbles soundboard I have been crowing about. Please study this as I can already hear Razor firing these off…
Lovie
Just reminding, for those that might be interested….we will run the NHL Hockey Pool, after hockey on Tuesday…your cost is $11.
We have some sheets printed off, that you can use to select your players…
Bring a pen and a piece of paper so you can write down you team…
Also, glasses for those who may need them to read the small print on stage.
Any questions, call Mike Jaworiwsky at xxx-xxxx (see your email for phone #)
See you Tuesday night.
S,
So, I was at Joe Louis Arena on Friday watching the wings spank the leafs 7 – 3. The greatest business model was discovered there, combing two Great White North traditions south of the boarder.
Beer for the buzz, coffee for the consequences.
Make it a triple triple
Well, to be honest, not hockey related.
Just one of the funniest things I have seen on the internet lately. There are a bunch more of these Drunk Histories, if you are interested. Below is one of the better ones. Enjoy.
ah hell, here are two more:
These words haunt the newly appointed captains.
Boys:
There will be a change in the Captaincy in this year’s tournament, the three new Captains will be Paul ‘Sparky’ Renaud, Andy ‘Youngblood’ Morgan and Kevin ‘Jingles’ Kuprowski. Michael ‘ Hollywood’ will remain the fourth Captain and will be defending his title.
In 2012, the four new Captains will be Ray ‘Razor’ MacDonell, Mike ‘the Falcon’ Menzel, Shane ‘Skippy’ Renaud and Dean ‘Bearcat’ Meloche.
The reason for this change is simple, Michael Jaworiwsky is still in Windsor and he is the Captain of the defending Stanley’s Cup Champions, the Polka Kings, so he should remain Captain, which means having the other three Goalies as Captains, takes away from Razor selecting a team.
This gives a couple of new guys to be Captains for the very first time and it will be fun and merriment for everyone involved.
Tomcats Forever!
Stevo,
