Pretty Plays, Pretty Bows and a Stick Throw

Posted by Youngblood on November 24, 2010
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by Heywood Jewblowmee

High above in the press box, I sit and cover the Hellcats and the Blackcats of the Tomcats. I watched last night as the Hellcats, dressed in their traditional Whites…made some pretty passes and crashed the net to score and score and score.

The Black cats tried to be fancy, the other guy waited for the other guy to make the play. That does not work, it needs to be a team effort.

After missing two weeks, with a moustache concussion, after the Hit from Snowpants ‘Battleship’ Ferranti, Mike Menzel was like a brick wall, stopping a ton of shots from Lovie, Stevo, Jingles and Shamus.

I noticed that the magical collared shirt that Shamus had worn for a few games, seems to have worn off completely.  Time for a new shirt Shamus….maybe go with that mesh tank top idea you were considering last week.

George Metulynsky as the oldest player out there, continues playing like Denis Potvin and Larry Robinson.  Blocking shots, making on the stick passes and scoring goals.

Killer Colasanti, played a solid game along side, Andy Morgan.  The two of them connected for 18 of the 21 Hellcat goals last night. Video of Colasanti, striking Sparky Renaud on the chest could be seen on the large Kapustatroon, but the refs missed it and no penalty was called. “That is why he is called Killer Colasanti”, stated Gentleman Sunny Salaris.

Both Salaris and La Bomba had solid games for the Hellcats.

Stevo Jaworiwsky, seemed to have lost it, throwing his stick against the wall. I spoke to him after the game in the parking lot, and he said, he did it more to spark the Blackcats up, but it did not seem to work. Now he has to bring in a case of beer ($40) and buy a new hockey stick ($29.00) that is a $75 dollar night for motivational move, maybe he should just try a Vince Lamardi speech instead.

And the most important thing……..Junior Poisson arrived with a 24 of Keith’s and Pittsburgh Tomcats, with beer left over from their trip donated their beer to the Tomcats, so regular Coors were enjoyed last night as well.  The Pittsburgh Tomcats, consisting of Mykel Jaworiwsky, Dave Crawford, Kevin Kuprowski, Steven Jaworiwsky, Paul Poisson and Jason Enskat, donated the extra beer they had for the Tomcats. Two and half cases all together….MVP’s all of them.

And speaking of MVP’s Vince ‘La Bomba’ Vlaminck brought a tidy 12 pack, on a ‘just because’ basis, so I’m sure, knowing the Tomcats, he will get called up again.

Fat bottom girls really do make the world rock n roll world go round and when I see you next time, Heywood Jewblowmee.

A Near Decapitation and a Case of Beer

Posted by Youngblood on November 24, 2010
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 Hellcats win 7-2, 7-6, and 7-5

by Harry Ballsanoue

 Hell Cats: Falcon, Sunny, La Bomba, Chevy, Snowpants, Killer, Youngblood, The Turk and Cribz

 Blackcats: Razor, Lovie, Stevo, Spinner, Sparky, Mykel J, Shamus, Jingles

 In what looked like evenly matched teams, the Hell Cats had no problem of disposing of the Black cats on Tuesday night. “They outplayed us at every facet of the game.  We of course did not help ourselves either, we did not run out there, we did not pass very well and we did not get an quality shots on net” indicted Lovie Edgar.

The Hell Cats seemed to want the games, so much more than the Black Cats, “When I first saw the teams, I thought we were going to get smoked” indicated the Turk Metulynsky, “But we just played our game and were able to take all three” Metulynsky concluded.

A near Decapitation stopped the game for a second or two, after Killer Colasanti almost took the head off Sparky Renaud, striking him in the upper chest area. “I have a good welt there right now, but I am happy my head is still attached, I need it to drive my truck and of course to do some other stuff”. Renaud stated.

Wayne Gretzky and Juri Kurri (Youngblood and Killer) created all the scoring chances for the Hellcats (KIller is in a contract year). The frustration showed on the Blackcats, as Stevo Jaworiwsky threw his stick against a wall, after Youngbllod and Colasanti scored their 17th goal. Jaworiwsky had this to say, “I was very frustrated out there, they seemed to have our number tonight. I threw my stick, more so for effect, to get my boys pumped up, we tied them up 2-2 in the third, but it went down hill after that, I will bring my case next week” Jaworiwsky said.

New comer La Bomba Vlaminck was sharp again, making some great passes, he is like Tomas Kabrale: he does not seem to want to shoot.

And the magic of the black collared shirt is gone. Shamus Goldstein should go back to a regular t-shirt, as he only scored one goal last night.

La Bomba brought 12 beer out of the goodness of his heart. 24 were brought by Junior, who stayed and watch the three games from the press box and on occasion giving coaching tips to the black cats. The rest of the beer was donated by the Pittsburgh guys, Hollywood, Jingles, Stevo, Crow, Junior and Jason Enskat….thanks boys….(The provided Tomcats with 2 and half cases of beer from the Pittsburgh trip!!!)

Until next week, when I see you, I will try to get my Harry Ballsonue.

Tomcats Pour It On

Posted by Youngblood on November 19, 2010
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by Harry Ballsanoue

            
Hellcats: Dean ‘Bearcat’  Meloche, Snowpants, Shamus, JIngles, Sunny, Soupy, Chevy, Skippy and Hurricane Hann.
 
Blackcats: Razor, Lovie, Rocky, Stevo, Cribz, Spinner, Hollywood, Yuri the Turk, Doc, Sparky.
 
Blackcats win; 7-1, 2-7 and 7-4.
 
As I watched the games last night, I thought, who is that in net, Ken Dryden, Patrick Roy…or is that, Terry Sawchuk and Glenn Hall….OH MY GOD…compared to last week, when we saw, ‘Red Light’ Racicot and Les Binkley in net. Last night the goaltending was superior.
 
“It was really a spectacle to see”, stated one fan, who waited 2 hours in the Rain for Snowpants to come out and sign an autograph for her.
 
“Stevo seemed to really have it going on today, setting up Spinner for a number of quality opportunities”, state Lovie Edgar. ‘Husky Eye’ Salaris, seemed to think differently, “Stevo, was setting up a dinner for 8 in front of our net.  It seemed, in one shift he had five break aways”.
 
The magic seems to be wearing off the collared shirt on Shamus, as he only scored 2 goals tonight. Next week he plans to wear a tank top…’Maybe Mesh” he had said.
 
Injury wise, Snowpants lasted the entire night, but Ken Cribly left after the first game, with an undisclosed, lower body injury, as did, Jingles Kuprowski, who took a wicked slash from Razor McDonnel, with no penalty being called.
 
Yuri Metulynsky played a very solid game on defense and keeps, being the number one vote getter for the all star game.
 
Shovey Szcewczuk pushed down Hollywood Jaworiwsky to the ground, after the young Jaworiwsky hacked at Bearcat Meloche’s glove 8 times.
 
Hurricane Hann notched a number of goals, not bad, for being the oldest player on the floor and not being able to see very well.
 
In the end, with the score, 6-4…Rocky scored a goal from his own goal line, that gave the Blackcats the victory….after the game, 8th string goalie, Skippy Renaud talked about a theory he had, with the number of players on the bench and how easy it was for the goalies last night, I listened for about 18 seconds, and then said I had to take a phone call.
 
Next week, Junior Poisson is to bring his beer, not sure if he will be inserted into the line up…we may just see Juniors beer and not Junior.  Andy ‘Doc’ Brewin brings, his next 12 pack.
 
This week, 24 from Skippy, 12 from Doc Brewin and 12 from the Tomcats.
 
Fat bottom girls, really really do make the rock n roll world go round, and when I see you, I will try to get my Harry Ballsonue.

Razor Sharp

Posted by Youngblood on November 18, 2010
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WARSAW Assoc press. 

  While watching last night,after sneaking in past security, I saw an entirely different game than last week.

FOR SURE the spares made the difference – more spares means longer, harder fought defensive games.  The time it took for that first game, even with the score 7-1, would have been 2, maybe 3 games last week. 

TOMCATS management called up Bearcat to give the longtime spare goaltender some net time.  He may regret answering that call.  RAZOR was a awesome sight to behold, the glove hand quicker than it takes him to snap off a load.  with a GAA of 4, Razor left no doubt he is a number 1 goaltender in the league. 

Bearcat, while playing well, could only steal 1 game from the starter, a 7-4 2nd game win.  RECAP was 7-1, 7-4, and 7-4, with 2 of 3 games going to the dark side, as the White side just could not find a weakness in Razors game. 

BY the way, Bearcat GAA was 6, and last weeks 4th-5th stringers put up a 4.5 GAA and 5.5 GAA respectively.  That means with Hollywoods couple goals in last nights game, and his 5.5 GAA the week before, it only goes to show the veteran player is indeed a 2 way player threat.
 
Till the next time I can use my forged media credentials, this is Yuri HANZONMECACAK signing off.

Tomcats are a great bunch of guys

Posted by Youngblood on November 18, 2010
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….by Heywood Jewblowmee

 

I watched from the press box, high above the rafters at the Kapusta Kow Palace as the Tomcats warmed up last night. There were 19 guys out there….zipping shots at the goalies.

Dean ‘Bearcat’ Meloche made his season debut, and did not disappoint the fans, although he went 1-2 on the evening. I also noticed he had a new mask, that was quite sweet.

Andy ‘Doc’ Brewin, seemed to be pushed around a bit out there so decided to take matters into his own hands and did some pushing of his own, but remember, there is no body contact.

Lovie Edgar notched two beautiful shots off the cross bar.

John ‘Husky Eyes’ Salaris seemed to have a little bit of anger in his game last night and it was a surprise to see, the classy Joe Sakic type player like Salaris be so angry out there.

Snowpants Ferranti seemed frustrated out there, not sure if he should remain back on defense and watch Stevo Jaworiwsky or pinch and try to score a goal.

Hurricane Hann, so intense on watching Stevo Jaworiwsky, forgot about his man Dave ‘Spinner’ Dzibela, who scored on a nice pass from Jaworiwsky.

Jingles Kuprowski slide safely into second base but later got hurt by a stick.

In the end, the boards put away, the Tomcats all sat up on stage and Darek Kowalczykowski came down from the press box and they had a few beers, a nice night to say the least. Lots of laughter, lots of smiles, I tell you the Tomcats are a great bunch of guys.

I was told that now there is a Tomcat room, a room where Bob Skoretz use to change in. They should make the room a ‘Tomcat Legends’ room and Mykel Jaworiwsky made the suggestion, that they have a Figurine attached on the wall and as you walk out of the room, you touch it for luck, just like they do at the Notre Dame games….not a bad Idea……maybe someone will come up with a medal Tomcat to attached to that portion of the door jam. In the end, all the sticks are up in that room, waiting to be used next week.

And when I see you next time: Heywood Jewblowmee.

4th And 5th String Goalies make Appearances!

Posted by Youngblood on November 10, 2010
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Tomcats play 9 games in a span of 34 minutes…..yes up to seven!
 
An article by Harry Ballsanoue

 
Team Blackcats: Skippy Renaud. Yuri Metulynsky,, Killer Colasanti, Soupy Salaris, Chevy Szcewczuk and Sunny Salaris
 
Team Hellcats: Mykel Jaworiwsky, Lovie Edgar, Shamus Goldstein, Sparky Renaud, Kenny Cribley and Stevo Jaworiwsky.
 
Blackcats win the series, on Tuesday November, 9, 2010, 7-5,3-7,7-4 and 5-3.
 
OK..Ok…they only played four games….but still, with the goaltending that was present Tuesday night, two large pylons would have done the same trick. In the first game, the score board counted, 36 shots for the blackcats…and three for the hellcats, the score was 4-nothing for the blackcats.  Skippy Renaud, was making saves, he had no idea he was making. At the other net, Mykel Jaworiwsky said, “the balls looked as big as beach balls, but then when they came at me, they were little bee bee pellets….”.
 
Lowest turn out so far this year, 2 spares for the Blackcats and one Spare for the Hellcats.
 
I was able to talk to Stevo Jaworiwsky after the game in the parking lot, he is a nice guy, always willing to talk to me, even though I have a large goiter on my neck.
 
“Guys can’t complain to me, when one night we get six spares aside, here is a night, where we only got, one spare on one side and two on the other”…..Jaworiwsky had said.
 
The hockey was quick, with every second shot going in on the goalies.
 
Shamus once again wore a collared shirt and scored five goals in the second game to lead his team to victory. He scored a combined 9 goals over all, when his whole team scored 19 goals, once again, almost 50% of the goals. “I have to thank Lovie and Stevo for the set ups tonight…they did a great job”.
 
Lovie also mentioned to me, that he was not happy with his pick of Zajic in the Tomcat Hockey Pool and that he is not going to win this year,.  His quote had way to many swears in it, for me to have it printed on the web page”.
 
Snowpants, was a scratch tonight.
 
Menzel, still nursing that moustache injury that he received from Snowpanst sat up in the press box, as did, Spinner Dziebela, Kevin Kuprowski, Andy Brewin and Dave Crawford.
 
Tomcats are being run by young Michael Jaworiwsky this week, as Senior Jaworiwsky is out of the Country.
 
See you all next week. Next week,  Tomcat beer is brought to you by Skippy Renaud (24) and Andy Brewin (12)
 
Heywood Jewblowmee is on vacation this week….
 
Fat bottom girls, DO make the rock n world go round!!
 
I’m Harry Ballsanoue.

Shamus questions ‘weeping’ St. Felix statue in Windsor

Posted by Youngblood on November 4, 2010
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By Craven Moorehead

weeping saint felixCommissioner Stevo of the monthly St. Felix and Windsor Tomcats Ball Hockey Club in Windsor said he’s well aware of the stir that the statue has caused.

He said Jingles approached him in March with stories about the statue outside his house, which is said to weep tears of healing Rub A535 at night and which has attracted scores of floor hockey players to a formerly quiet Windsor neighbourhood.

But the Commissioner said he has investigated the matter and that he cannot agree with Jingles’ statements. He said Jingles and the statue do not represent the league.
“At best, it is just Icy Hot, and at worst, well, I don’t want to know” The statesman of the league said. He adds: “They do say that Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound”.

Meanwhile, longtime friend of Jingles, Shamus, has decided not to investigate the statue any further.

He says that once Jingles gets a couple of those fancy ‘Blue Moon’ beers in him, he starts seeing many ‘miracles’, including the crying St. Felix.

“To be honest, I think the statue is crying, but more just about the way Youngblood played last week” Shamus said. “The next thing will be Jesus appearing in some perogies.”

Until next time, I’ll be Craven Moorehead

Collared Shirt Can Help

Posted by Youngblood on November 3, 2010
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….by Harry Ballsonue   
 

I watched the games last night and noticed a few white Ghost crossing shirts…they did not seem to be scoring much, I noticed a couple of black Tomcat Shirts, with the Royal type logo, a few goals from those guys, I noticed an old Purple’s shirt with # 32 on, effective, but not a lot of goal production….but then one shirt jumped at me, it was a blue Collared shirt worn by Shamus Goldstein. In all of my years of covering the Tomcats, not once have I seen someone wear a collared shirt, I wondered if the shirt would help…..and sure enough it did.  In the three games, where the Blackcats scored a total of 16 goals, Shamus Goldstein popped 8 or 9 goals. YES! 8 or 9 goals!!! That is like 50% of all the goals.

“It’s a 13 year old shirt” Said Goldstein during a commercial time out.

“Next week I plan to wear a tie” stated Chevy Szcewczuk.

Victor ‘Snowpants’ Ferranti, who ran the goalie, Mike ‘the Falcon’ Menzel, played the entire game and did not leave early with an injury as in past weeks.  Mike Menzel will be undergoing an MRI for that collision today on a precautionary basis. “He just about knocked my moustache off” stated a woozy Menzel, “I can’t believe he did not get a penalty and get thrown out of the game for that”. indicated an upset and injured Mike Menzel.

“Oh we were ready to fight him” state Ken ‘Cribz’ Cribley, but Coach told three or four of us, “just play our game, we don’t need to be a goon like Snowflake….let’s get a few goals and win this thing”,indicated Cribley.

And Happy Birthday to a couple of Tomcats, to Paul Poisson, who celebrated a birthday yesterday, November 2.and to Johnny ‘the Mayor’ Matuiska who celebrates a birthday today, November 3 and to brand new Tomcat, as of yesterday, Vince ‘Boomba’ Vlaminck, whose birth it is today, November 3.  He turns 49 today for those keeping score.

Beer next week from Andy Brewin and Killer brings 12.

Remember, Fat bottom girls make the rock n world go round….I’m Harry Ballsonue

Hockey Talent Galore!

Posted by Youngblood on November 3, 2010
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…..an article by Heywood Jewblowmee

HELLCATS; Youngblood, Razor, Dave Hann, Snowpants, Lovie, Mykel J, Killer and new call up, Vince ‘Bomba’ Vlaminck

BLACKCATS; Shamus, Jingles, Cribz, Stevo, Falcon, Spinner, Chevy and Rocky

3 Spares aside last night…good showing.

It was Fine night…and Jingles Kuprowski did not disappoint..he was to bring 36 beers for not showing up to last years tournament…..The Jingleroo….did what the Jingleroo does and brought 50 beer on stage.

Hellcats started out strong in the first game, winning 7 to 5 over the Blackcats…..

The Second game was a different story…with a 6 to one leads the Blackcats were in control…the Hellcats game back and scored a couple to make it a 7-4 final.

In the final game, a game to only 5….The Hellcats took a 4 to nothing lead, only to lose 5 – 4 to the pesky Blackcats. “They just never game up”, stated Lovie Edgar, “They just kept chipping away and chipping away”.

Snowpants ran the goalie in the second game and all three, Kenny ‘ Sugar Ray’ Cribz, Chad ‘Rocky’ Comartin and Kevin ‘Apollo’ Kuprowski wanted to drop the gloves with Snowpants, but the Coach of the Blackcats said, “No boys, let’s win the game and then beat him up in the parking lot”.

New comer, Vince ‘ Bomba’ Vlaminck was impressive in his first night out, scoring two goals and making some very good plays. Tomcats could use a guy like this, come tournament time, he would be rated fairly high, from what I could see.

No Purples for the boys last night, as they filed on the bus to catch a flight to Washington.

See you all next Tuesday as it is Andy Brewin’s night for beer and Killer brings a 12…and when I see you….Heywood Jewblowmee.