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Golf Hangover?

Posted by 81rocky on June 21, 2019
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by Harry Ballsonue

“You really rode the Beaver hard last night Ward”. June Cleaver
One of my favourite all time t v show quotes…you got to love it.
As for Golf, only three Tomcats played in the Dirty Growler golf league this week. With the Tournament this past weekend, many Tomcats took this Monday off.  “It was good to be out there, Chevy was on fire, birdie birdie birdie”, stated Cribzie.
“Stevo brought out a Ukrainian Honey Hot Pepper Vodka, wowzers, that will clear your sinus, your poop shoot and the wax in your ears”, stated a grinning Chevy.
The three golfing Amigos
Scores this week, Chevy 78, Cribzie 79 Stevo, 102
“I had a rough time out there today, can’t explain it to you, do you know if anyone has a fishing boat for sale, I may take up fishing instead of this stupid game of golf.
Cribzie, just before he threw it on the green and made the birdie putt, More Ukrainian Honey Hot Pepper Vodka please.
Dirty Growler is back on, on Monday June 24, see the Commissioner May Day if you want to play.
Whilst you are thinking about what the Ukrainian Honey Hot Pepper Vodka tastes like, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

And the Pantelon de Neige Jug goes to…

Posted by 81rocky on June 16, 2019
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By Harry Ballsonue
“I brought 49 balls as a prize today, It was suppose to be fifty but I kept one”  Hurricane
As everyone knows, it never rains at a Tomcat event and well, no rain while on the golf course for the Windsor Tomcats on Saturday June 15. “It really turned to be a good day, no rain, a bit of wind, but everyone got the round in and everyone had fun,” Stated organizer Snowpants.
Sunny and Big Poppa take the Pantelon de Neige Jug by shooting a cool two over.
If you check out the scores, you will see that there was a tie, with an aggregate formula, Snowpants was able to award the prize to Sunny and Big Poppa. “I did ask for a play off”, stated Hurricane, and then added, “well actually demanded, but I get it, security did not have to be so rough with me, when they carried me out of the clubhouse”.
Second place went to Hurricane and Snowpants, third was taken by the Kentucky two, Sheep Dog and Cribzie, “I thought we had a good chance, I know Vegas had us winning, I hope not a lot of people plopped lots of money down on us”, stated a smiling Cribzie.
Chevy holding his Canadian Flag
A FEW INTERESTING POINTS
 
Snowpants, as always did a super terrific job as organizer, he deserves a great deal of credit.  All the Tomcats thank you Snowpants.
The big winners of the Skins, were Sunny and Big Poppa, and once handed the winnings, they proceeded to buy four ‘Triple Boogie’ pitchers of beer, Tomcat Spirit, that is the way you do it boys.
A big BIG thank you goes out to everyone who donated a prize, you know who you are, so thanks, Snowpants tries to give everyone a little something and with your kind contributions this year he was able to do that, so thank you Tomcats.
FEEDBACK WELCOMED
 
Snowpants would like to hear from you re the Two Man Format, and if you liked having the tournament on a Saturday.  It starts with you so let Snowpants know your thoughts.
DIRTY GROWLER LEAGUE
 
The Ride Her Cup, will be held the long civic holiday weekend on the Monday, Commissioner May Day will be organizing, from a golf perspective, you want to circle that day on your calendar and attend.
IN TOMCAT HOCKEY NEWS
 
The Windsor Tomcats are happy to announce a two year signing of Bagz as a goalie this year.  Bagz will have to pass a medical but after that, it is just a formality.  “I am excited for this opportunity, great guys, so it would be an exciting time for me and my family”.
Tiny has also been invited to a PTO (Professional Try Out) with the Tomcats come training camp. He is a goalie and a one time first team all star in the Professional league, the LHL (Lebanon Hockey League) He had played for the Beruit Bearcats and posted a .912 GAA.
IN ENDING
 
So this completes the Tomcat Hockey Season, Rocky, who could not attend the Tomcat Golf Tournament due to a scouting trip to China, Germany and Ukraine wanted to thank everyone for the year and wants everyone to continue their off season training and that Tomcats get back to hockey action in September.
I love covering the Tomcats and I love the Tomcats, as you say, ‘Tomcats Forever’, but do you think, I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

From the Kapusta to the Dirty Growler

Posted by 81rocky on June 4, 2019
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By Holden Toodiks

“He is cut like a milk bag”  Quote by Bryan Hayes of ‘Overdrive’ on Heavy Weight Champion of the World Andy Ruiz Jr.

I thought it was a great quote, but now, we talk golf, Dirty Growler Golf
Chevy and Cribzie Vs. Sea Lion and Stevo in a fun event to raise money for charity (available on Golf Channel only) ….on the side, a small wager was made, read more, but Sea Lion And Stevo took the day with a $10,000 win, each.


“It’s all for fun of it and I’m glad we played”, Stated Cribzie who organized the event. “It’s great being a Tomcat but it’s always great being able to give back to the community” said Cribzie, the pride of Essex.

A friendly wager was made by these two tomcats against Steve and Sea Lion…Chevy and Cribzie ended up paying out at the end of the round.

Reluctantly Stevo and Sea Lion accepted the bet and in the parking lot, after the round Chevy and Cribzie reached into their pocket. Pulled out a wad of 100’s and paid the winners off.  “I don’t know how it ended up being only $10,000 I had it calculated at $23,000 but Chevy did the math and said that’s what they owed us, oh well”. Stated Sea Lion


Cribzie has been voted best looking golfer on Growler tour last three years …here you can see Sea Lion pointing out a good looking babe in the crowd and you can see Chevy looking on, thinking ‘Cribzie is a devilishly good looking man’
IN OTHER GOLF NEWS
Kapusta Open was held on Saturday June 1.  The Turk and his crew put together a fantastic day. “If you have never played you are missing out on an incredible time” indicated Chevy and continued “ the course ..golf ..food and prize table were excellent…did I mention the food”? Stated a smiling Chevy.
Next year the tournament is on Saturday June 6, 2020
Dirty Growler goes again next Monday if you are interested…contact the commissioner May Day.

July 8 Stevo looking to organize an even at Cherry Creek in Michigan …great course you don’t want to miss it.  If you are not included in the email contact Stevo on his texting Machine.

Thanks for reading I’m Holden Toodiks.



Teams Set, Are You Ready?

Posted by 81rocky on June 2, 2019
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By Holden Toodiks
Snowpants formed a team of ‘pickers’ and teams were picked for the Tomcat Golf Tournament. The Picking committee consisted The Bundura, The Sea Lion, Stevo, May Day, Super Prekahsna and some random guy sitting at the table while the teams were being made, true story.
Teams are:
Hollywood and the Big Easy
Little Bird and Air Top
Snowpants and Hurricane
The Rake and Tonto
Bucko and Killer
Sea Lion and Doc
Scuz and Stevo
Bubbles and Shack
Sheep Dog and Cribzie
Sparky and Kamikaze
Chevy and the Bundura
Soupy and the Turk
Big Poppa and Sunny
Bagz and Tiny
Foursomes:
Snowpants will be making the foursomes and if you have a request it is suggested that you contact him directly.
Money Money Money
 
“The tournament should be a lot of fun this year”, stated Snowpants and added, “I will be making the foursomes and this will only add to the excitement”.
If you still owe money for the tournament please make the necessary arrangements to track Snowpants down and pay him.
“The Pantelon de Neige is one of the most sought after golf trophies, I know everyone is looking forward to the 15th of June”, Snowpants concluded.
BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS – BREAKING NEWS
 
This Just In
Snowpants has just released three foursomes, (Almost like releasing hostages) but here are some of the foursomes:
Big Easy/ Hollywood – Bucko/KIller
Skuz/Stevo – Bagz/Tiny
Bubbles/Shack – Crbize/ Sheep Dog
We will let everyone know, what the other foursomes are, as soon as they are available to us.
Thanks for reading, I’m Holden Toodiks.

GORDON’S GIN LEAGUE OUT IN FULL FORCE AT BELLEVIEW

Posted by 81rocky on May 29, 2019
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May 28, 2019

By Dick Fitzwell

The league was back in action his past Monday at the Belleview Golf and Country Club. The Sea Lion, Stevo, Little Bird and the Howler made up one foursome while The Big Easy, May Day, Chevy and Brades were in the other.

Chevy was hitting straight, 300 yard drives all day long and rarely visited another fairway. Brades was a welcome addition to the group and won $50,000.00 on a side bet with Chevy on thePar 3 16th. Further, he qualifies for the year end banquet at the Rock Bottom. He is a great addition to the league. Brades attended the University of Harrow on a golf scholarship from 1971 to 1975.

The Big Easy was proudly showing the group pictures of his daughter’s prom while stating,

“ I can’t believe how fast Paris has grown up”. The Big Easy was putting on a clinic out there on Monday hitting both right and left handed. “ He could play in a two-man scramble by himself”, said Mayday.

Chevy reported a major rule violation to the commissioner. “ There was a blatant lack of respect from the Seal Lion foursome”, said Chevy. Chevy filed the complaint after the Sea Lion Group left the 18th hole instead of staying in their carts while the May Day Foursome finished the hole. “ Normally, the final group receives a round of applause by the gallery as well as the players and this rule was not adhered to today”, stated a disappointed Commissioner May Day.

Accordingly, the league has imposed a $50,000.00 fine for each player payable to the Doug Ford Make Smokes Available in Drugstores Again Foundation.

Scores were as follows:

Howler – 71 from the Blue Tees – Brades – 68 – Chevy – 69 – Mayday – 73 – Big Easy – 105 –  Stevo – 71 – Sea Lion – 71 – Little Bird – 71.

Kozak Open, Tomcats Represented

Posted by 81rocky on May 22, 2019
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By Holden Toodiks
“Tomcats Represented by Four Great Ukrainians”  Andrej Shevchenko, Soccer Player
 

The Ukie Four in Dauphin Manitoba: Orest, Ihor, Roman and Bohdan of the Tomcats, for the Annual Kozak Golf Open, Victoria Day Weekend.

 
98 Ball Hockey teams sent reps to Dauphin Manitoba for the annual Kozak Golf Open, Victoria Day Weekend.  “There were teams from all over Canada”, indicated Chevy and continued, “They had teams from Calgary, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Sherwood Park Alberta, Kevington Saskatchewan, and a whole bunch of other places, too many for me to remember and mention”. Concluded Chevy.
They had teams there from, Ottawa, Saskatoon, Montreal, Lethbridge, Regina, Yorkton Sask, Weyburn Sask., Steinbach Manitoba, Rouyn-Noronda Quebec, Halifax Nova Scotia, Vancouver, British Columbia teams from Kamploops, Nanaimo and Pentictton along with teams from Toronto, London, Thunder Bay, Kenora, Oshawa and Windsor Ontario.
Chevy ended up winning a Sony, 65” t v for the longest and most accurate drive.
Big Ned won a set of Callaway Rogue X Golf Clubs, valued at $1499.99 for closest to the pin on the par 3 fifth.
May Day won a weeks’ vacation in the Bahamas for best dressed.
Stevo won 110 Instamatic Camera
In order to participate, you had to be Ukrainian and prove it, you could not just say your name was Connelwalchuk or Koenigsbergerenko or that you liked Perogies and Cabbage Rolls. You also had to be on a legit Ball Hockey team.
“We had quite a bit of money left over this year and decided to send four of our top Ukrainian Tomcats”. Stated Rocky.
In the evening hours, they had the Dance Ensemble Shumka perform and at the dance, Ron Kahut and his orchestra played.
According to some reports, they brought in over 400 Ukrainian women from Ukraine for the Zabava (Dance).  “Man, I met an Oksana, a Marika, a Lesia, a Roslana, and about 20 others from Ukraine, they all wanted to get married that night”, indicated a smiling Stevo, “I think it was because of the camera I won”. Stevo said and added, “I had it in my front pocket”.
Four better Ukes, could not have been selected by the Tomcats.
Thanks for reading, I’m Holden Toodiks.

Dirty Growler: Wet and Wild

Posted by 81rocky on May 14, 2019
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By Holden Toodiks

Golf Season Kicks of with a Splash
 
Not everyone is fit for a world of endless limits, not everyone can be a Navy Seal, or an Army Ranger or a Marine.  But with the golf course a bit wet, four golfers kicked off the Dirty Growler Mr. Gordon Golf League on Monday May 13.
“It was a bit wet out there, I won’t say it wasn’t but, it was a good day, I think all four of us were happy we went out today”, stated The Sea Lion.

If the Tomcats were a secret government assassin squad or secret government sector like the MI 6 or Secret Service or the Canada’s K12 it would be these four who braved the elements to kick off the Growler League
Sniper, Deadeye, Hondo and Venom

Golf scores were:  Little Bird: 78. Cribzie, 80, Sea Lion 81 and Stevo 91
If you wish to play in the Tomcat Golf league this year, please contact May Day directly, he is the Commissioner of the league.
Thanks for reading, I’m Holden Toodiks.

Board of Directors Meeting Minutes

Posted by 81rocky on May 8, 2019
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By Holden Toodiks

Harry Ballsonue is on assignment 

 
In attendance:Rocky, Hurricane, Snowpants, Doc, Sparky, Soupy and Stevo
Financial Picture:Rocky reported that Tomcats are at $630, he indicated a great deal of money had been spent this year on a number of items, including track suits, tee shirts, the Gala and that the price of hall rental had gone up the year from last. There is also the $100 a year cost of the web site and the $15 charge for the domain name, so USE THE WEBSITE AND READ THE BLOGS.
Start of the Season fee:$50 to be paid at the start of the season. You can make two payments of $25 in the first 3 weeks if need be, your first night of hockey is included in the $50
Start of the Season Gift:Doc and Sparky are to look at some options….I was not allowed to know what the start of the season gift is/will be. Tomcats will not know either, until they pay their 50.
Bags:Doc is going to look into Tomcat Hockey bags and report back to the Tomcats, this will be a ‘out of pocket’ expense of each player, as in, who ever wants to get a new hockey bag.
Captains For Tournament:The four Captains for theFeb. 29. 2020tournament are: Chico, Jingles, Bulldog and Stevo
Shirts for Tournament: Captains are to pay for their teams shirt and are to buy the other three Captains a shirt. No other shirts are required to be purchased for anyone else.
Date of Tournament: Saturday February 29, 2020 8:30start.
Top Seed:No coin toss, team with the best record gets to be the home team for the final game of the tournament.
Tournament Format/Overtime: The tournament remains the same, you play each team once, there is no overtime, except for the final game, and that game is a sudden death game, with two 12 minute periods. Home team will get to select the zone they want for over time for the first period of overtime and will then have to switch if there is a second over time period.

Overtime: Over time will continue to be played on Tuesday nights, 1 minute periods in Mini, with 3 on 3 and a two minute period with two teams, 3 on 3.

New Personnel Added to Tournament Organizing committee: Doc has stepped down as organizer and Soupy and Kamikaze are now running the tournament.

Part Time Players to be offered full time status: The following three players will be offered full time status: Bullwinkle, Kramden and Squid. Anvil and Q will remain part time players.
Tomcat Events: Tomcat Christmas Party will once again this year include the girl friend/ wife. It is set forSaturday November 23, 2019. Sunny, Snowpants and Chevy to organize. Hollywood is being asked to DJ and Snowpants will be organizing a game show of some sort.
June Golf: Snowpants reported that 13 players have paid and that he has a hard commitment from 17 guys. He is asking that everyone pay ahead of time to show commitment.
Outdoor Game: Voted Down
Rule Changes: IMPORTANT: New players who do not understand the nuisances of the game will be spoken to. ‘Its about a beer after the hockey, no NHL tryouts on aTuesday night”. NEW RULE: You will not be allowed to score after you are scored on, unless it is a hockey play, meaning…if you get scored on, you get the ball, and you are not allowed to just shoot it at the net to score. So, it has to be a hockey play. Next New Rule; No tomahawks. Meaning, you cannot bring your stick down on another stick in a tomahawk slash. Play will be called and the other team will get the ball.
Sparky Thanked: Sparky thanked for always doing the empty beer returns. (and for bringing food on stage after hockey)
Gala Committee Kudos: The entire Gala Committee was thanked for an excellent job, Serta, Stomper, May Day, Rocky, Stevo, Hollywood, Sunny, Snowpants, Sparky and Rocky. It was partly because of this group that the Gala came together and was such a success.
Kudo’s to Tonto: Tonto was specifically mentioned in the meeting to being a great new Tomcat, he is new but became a Tournament Captain, designed a beautiful logo for his team and paid for the shirts for his team, without a single complaint.
Tournament Refs:It is the Tomcat’s organizations understanding that the Bundura is stepping down from reffing and so the Tomcats will honour his request and will now ask the Turk and the Sea Lion. It is also being suggested that the refs come out to a few weeks ofTuesday nighthockey to get a ‘feel’ for the flow of the play prior to just being injected into the tournament.
Part Time Players: Hollywood is asking that he be allowed to bring out a new player, JC: Granted. May Day asked that his friend Serge be allowed to come out: Granted
Larger Nets: New nets will be looked into and it is possible that the new nets might be slightly larger than the present day nets being used.
Track Suits: Stevo wanted to acknowledge Hollywood for a great job on the 30 year anniversary Track Suit.
 
Gala: Stevo wanted to thank everyone who sold tickets, bought tickets, attended the Tomcat Gala, everyone made it a fantastic event.
Special Thanks: Snowpants wanted to thank Rocky for his hard work and the work of the Board of Directors. He also expressed some concern about the state of the Kapusta Kow Floor. Some research to be conducted to see what can be done to improve the condition of the floor. Doc and Snowpants to explore options of cleaning the floor.
Balls: No one is allowed to place the balls on ice. It is a three case fine if anyone does this. The balls have been what they are for thirty years, the balls are the same for everyone. (if they stick…they stick)
Safe Play: Soupy wanted everyone to play safe and to be aware that it is about the camaraderie at the end of the night and that if you score a hatty, it means nothing, have fun, play fair and let it be safe to everyone. “All the friends I have in Windsor are because of the Tomcats”, Soupy said, holding back tears.
Overall I was told that the Tomcat organization felt it was a very successful year, from the Kapusta Floor, to the Closet of Clothes to the Gala, friendships continued and that’s all that counts.
Golf tournament isSaturday June 15(for those who insisted it be on a Saturday) so lets get 24 participants and make it a great success.
I’m Holden Toodiks, thanks for reading.

“Ebebeep ebebeep, that’s all folks”

Posted by 81rocky on April 17, 2019
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By Harry Ballsonue

“Train roll on, on down the line, won’t you please take me far away.  Now I feel the wind blow outside my door, means I’m leaving my women behind, Tuesday’s gone with the wind, Tomcat hockey Tuesday night is gone with the wind”.   (Till September)
Lynard Skynard

 

Teams:
Soupy’s Motley Crue: Soupy, Beep, Bullwinkle, Jingles, La Bamba, Chico, El Choppo
Skack’s Guns n Roses: Shack, Sunny, Chevy, Snowpants, Hurricane, Sheep Dog and the Terror
Matador’s Metallica: Matador, Anvil, Sparky, Rocky, Stevo, Tonto, Killer and the Falcon

The Soupy Motley Crue took the night and how could they not, El Choppo got three beautiful deflections.  The unfortunate part was that they were on Chico and that was his goalie.  At one point, Soupy was covering El Choppo so he would not deflect any more shots.  “I had to,” said Soupy, and added, “We still needed the lead and I could not take a chance on him scoring on his own goalie again.”

Well that’s it folks.  The Windsor Tomcat season has come to a close.  A very, very good season over all.  Track suits, and tee shirts galore…what more can a man want.

Stevo does the final puck drop of the 2018-2019, 30th Tomcat season!

KUDO’s
Bulldog brought out rye and beer for the boys to enjoy.  He also supplied mix and glasses…put her there Bulldog!

Also, thanks to Sparky and Bullwinkle for bringing a plate of delicacies…thanks boys!

Hollywood went to Costco and bought dogs, buns, condiments and such, and then BBQ’d it all up for the boys to enjoy (Thanks for the veggie dog said, Beep and Stevo).

Thanks to Rocky for bringing chips, chips and some more chips.

Big thank you goes to Sparky, who always takes the empties in, and to those that helped before hockey started, to clean up the Tomcat room.  Special thanks to Stevo, Sheep Dog and Bulldog!

Thanks to those that put everything away at the end of the night.  If you did not help, maybe you need to look at that and say to yourself, ‘maybe next year I should do more’.

GALA
I just want to say again, if you missed it, you missed a hell of a party.

(Sexy Man Looks On) Bearcat, Rocky, Hollywood, The Rake, Matador, Kamikaze, Youngblood, May Day (hiding) The Chief. The Turk, Bulldog, Chevy, Sea Lion, Soupy, Snowpants, Big Ned, Tweetie Bird, Eagle, Stevo, The Legend,  Fuzzy, LA Bamba, Beep, Squid, Kramden, Tonto, El Choppo, Sunny, Rexy, The Falcon, Doc, Jingles, Sparky, The Bundura, Big Easy, Finner, and The Bruiser (just on the outside but there) Bucko was there too, but must of been out smoking.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING
Board of Directors meeting is at Rocky’s on Tuesday May 7.  Everyone and anyone is allowed to go.  Let Rocky KNOW IF YOU WANT TO GO…by April 23.

GOLF
Windsor Tomcat Golf Outing, Saturday June 15, Sutton Creek 9 a.m. start.  Be there 8 a.m. so that YOUR two man scramble team can be made…$55 is the cost.  In order to have you committed (no, not an institution) but to golf, Snowpants is using the Slim Jim rule…(Slim Jim never showed up last year) so he is looking for money up front.  Please pay Snowpants.

June 1, (a Saturday as well) The Turk’s tournament.  $125, four man scramble, Ambassador Golf Course, full money value, golf, cart, great prizes and….a fabulous dinner.  Get a foursome together and contact the Turk.  You will not regret it.

IN ENDING

Snowpants wanted to address the troops, “Boys, raise a glass, to another great season and our 30th, Tomcat Hockey Season.”

“Tomcats mill around on stage…no one wants to leave.  They want the night to go on and never end,” said LaBamba.

As you are checking out the large group shot and you’re trying to count all the guys, thinking ‘what is that, 34, 35, 36 Tomcats, old and new’? Do you think, I can put my Harry Ballsonue?

What the Tomcats Think They Know…April 16…Last Night of Hockey

Posted by 81rocky on April 15, 2019
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by Management

Beer Bringers:  Tomcats.  Also, FOOD to be prepared and provided.  Thanks to Hollywood and Doc for helping out on this!

Net Minders: Falcon, Terror, Chico

In the Line Up: El Chopo, Bullwinkle, Rocky, LaBamba, Matador, Chevy, Tonto, Snowpants, Sparky, Beep, Soupy, Sheepdog, Killer, Bulldog, Anvil, Sunny, Stevo, Sheepdog, Shack, Hurricane, Que, Jingles

Not in the Line Up: Slim Jim, Junior, May Day, Cribz, Kamikaze, Squid, Kramden

On the IR: The Turk, Spinner, Skippy, Skuz, The Big Easy, Tunzie, The Rake, Doc, Hollywood

Team Skinny: If you count all the players we have 25 players.  We’ll see how things change by Tuesday 6:30.

Empties:  Sparky needs a few good men to show up by 6:15 to help move the empties out of the Tomcat room for the off-season.  Please consider helping out.

30th Gala:  If you missed it, you missed a party for the ages!  Great time had by all.

Golf Tournament: June 15, be there 9 a.m. for the 9 am start….It is a 2 man scramble.  See Snowpants.  June 1st is the Kapusta Open, see the Turk for details.

Change to Board of Directors (BoD) Meeting: It will now be Tuesday May 7th as Rocky has to travel the week of April 30th (World Ball Hockey meetings in Sweden).  Any Tomcat can attend.  Let Rocky know if you want to take part in the meeting with the BoD.  Deadline to let Rocky know is Tuesday April 23rd.

TOMCATS FOREVER !