Windsor Tomcats

Tuesday night ball hockey unfolded pretty much as you might expect. Guys coasting trying not to get hurt, no one backchecking, everyone trying to stay injury free, what a bunch of pansies! The entrance of some old blood just did nothing to spark the non-competitive fires. George brought his buddy Andy out and he did manage to outshine George on this night. He is a solid player who looked like a freaking superstar among the likes of someone like Lovie. Lovie gimped around like he had been smacked with a 2×4 from Hacksaw Jim Duggan for fuck sakes!!

Both Old Andy and Youngblood Andy did buy a round for the boys at Purples after the game and that puts them at the front of the line in the “Good Guy” department. After the second round of pints we were looking around for Snowpants. When Doc said he felt some heavy breathing against his shin, we all looked under the table and guess who we saw? Snowpants was looking for a third free round and was ready to service whoever the first person was to pull out their wallet. Needless to say, Razors mutant glove hand went into overdrive reaching for some cash and everyone there left with a smile on their face.

Getting back to the hockey, the teams were as follows (not swallows…Snowy!):

White: Falcon, Taintedblood, Dodge, Blowpants, Dribs, Ya Want Vegetables…Go Eat a Salad, and old Andy

Black: Razor, Bollywood, Shocky, Dovie, Croc, Blameus and Shingles

As the night unfolded, it was hard to say if we were looking at the Windsor Tomcats or the Windsor Wildcats. The goaltending was mediocre, with both Razor and the Flacon needing SPF 500 after the first game.
Jingles showed up late as he had just taken a cab back from a full weekend of sliding at the bunny hill at Malden Park. He still had his helmet on and that seemed to give him the green light to kick his aggressive level up a notch.
After team White emerged victorious from the first game, team Black woke up and came out aggressively in game 2. Knotted at 6-6, Taintedblood, his Beatles mop a’ flyin’, beat Razor with a real floater. Taintedbloods celebration got a little out of hand when he grabbed Falcons junk and started singing “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.” Speaking with Razor afterwards he explained the goal this way, “I was facing big blasts all night and when this balloon ball came floating in, my reflexes kicked in and I moved TOO fast for the shot. I’m kinda like Chuck Norris that way.”

Now as for after the game, I have to admit that I wasn’t privy to the midget tapping convo between Blameus and Shingles, but I’m not surprised it took place. Both boys are in sore need of an oil change. George came out of his man cave in mid-midget conversation and said ” You guys go from talking about vegetables on a pizza to tossing salad? Let it go boys.”

Rest up men, for the time is nye, it’s Tournament time, kiss your mothers goodbye!

I’m Hugh Janus, signing off…