Tomcats find fourth Goalie….Hann of the Hook….

Posted by Youngblood on January 25, 2011
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Rob ‘The Danish’ Dienesh is being called up from the Bad Axe Bearcats, Tomcat farm team, to suit up for the tournament.  Also being called up, on a ‘show case’ basis only is Matty Youssef.  He will dress tonight against the Hell Cats…..

 

“Matty comes to us, from a 7

th round pick, back in 2006, I think it was”, indicated General Manager Gerald Finnerty, “He has really played hard in Bad Axe and it is time for him, to see what the big club is like” Finnerty added.

 

“We need to see if this kid can play and if Junior is not able to play in the tournament, then we know what we are getting with Matty” indicated Stevo Jaworiwsky. “So please don’t give me grief if we have 5 spares a side today, as last week, we only had two spares a side…and if there are more guys, the more beer goes and it could become a Purples night, and the young kid, just off the bus, can then be shown the Tomcat photos and Banners at the Purples Bar and Grill, so you see, it is all good” Jaworiwsky had said.

 

For those of you who can’t recall, the startup time is 6:30 p.m. and yes, both Walker Road and Howard Road are now fully open and operational.

 

In other exciting news, the new Tomcat Jackets have arrived and will be distributed tonight.

 

These are indeed exciting times, first Peter White, then The Danish….and now the Jackets….Whoa!

 

Peter White is In

Posted by Youngblood on January 24, 2011
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Tomcats now looking for a goalie

 

It has been confirmed, Peter ‘Bubbles’ White, known to many as the Bubbler, will indeed suit up for the February 26, 2011 tournament. “I look forward to this tournament every year, it’s Stevo’s Christmas Day, how could I not play in it”. Stated the Bubbler.

As for goaltending, the Tomcats are looking at a few options, one would be for Dave Hann to play in net, if minor leaguer Rob ‘Danish’ Dienesh is not available.  If Dienesh cannot play, the Tomcats will then go with Hurricane Hann in net and bring up a player to be show cased. A Matty Joseff, a 7th round, 2007 pick, who is in Bad Axe with the Bearcats could be brought up, or Matt Dziedzic a youngster selected in the first round in last year’s minor draft.

Check in on your Tomcat Website for further updates.

Poor turnout, good hockey, No Bearcat, No Sparky

Posted by Youngblood on January 19, 2011
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Youngblood Picks first and Rocky steps in

 

…By Harry Ballsanoue

Team S; Snowpants, Soupy, Sparky, Shamus, Shevy and Mykel J

Team Ray: Razor, Stevo, Rocky, Cribz, Doc and Bulldog

We start today with a little bit about Tuesday night hockey.  Andy ‘Doc’ Brewin nets 5 goals last night. “It was my best night ever, I thought, I played well”. Brewin had said, then added, ‘Shovey was a bit shovey out there, but I think I handled myself well”. Brewin concluded.

Shots on goal were a bit off balance, team S had 391 shots and Team Ray had 29 shots on net.  “Everything seemed to go in on me tonight” indicated a dejected Mykel Jaworiwsky, “I made a few saves, but I needed to make more”. Jaworiwsky concluded.

For those that were able to make it, they were able to provide a fast pace of hockey and lots of nice passing plays led to a lot of nice goals.

In tournament news, Sparky Renaud has stepped away from the tournament, due to a national election in London Ontario, apparently Sparky is interested in being the new Buzz Hargrove and must go to London, so he will not be able to participate in the tournament, but, step in Rocky Comartin, the new Captain for the tournament. “It is a great honour and I look forward to the role”, indicated a beaming Comartin.

Also out for the tournament, is Dean ‘Bearcat’ Meloche.  Bearcat has had an aligning knee injury and is unable to play.

This provides somewhat of a dilemma for the Tomcats, however, I have been told that there are some plans in action and that replacements are being sought for both Sparky (Buzz) and for Bearcat.

“We certainly will not get the quality goaltender, that we would have in Bearcat” indicated tournament organizer, Stefan Jaworiwsky, but we will try to come up with something….maybe I will go in net, it would get me in the front row again in the Tomcat team picture.” Jaworiwsky said, with a smirk.

As for the draft order, Youngblood, will get first pick, Second pick goes to Rocky and Jingles Jet’s get 4th pick. (the Polka Kings already hold 3rd pick)

Draft goes on Tuesday February 1, 2011.

These are indeed exciting times for the Tomcats and speaking of exciting, where is that chin of yours as I plan to put my Harry Ballsonue.

From the World Floor Hockey Scouting Center……

Posted by Youngblood on January 17, 2011
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1)Paul ‘Junior’ Poisson: Injured, but this warrior can still be a warrior.
2)Louis ‘the Rake’ Konegisberger: Playing solid as he always does, Tomcats always getting calls on this guy, come trade deadline.
3)Chad ‘Rocky’ Comartin: Stud Defender that any tournament team needs.
4)Gerald ‘Finner’ Finnerty: Great dressing room guy can still play. If you are looking for a Chris Chelios type player, Finner is your man.
5)David ‘Hurricane’ Hann: A digger, a goal scorer a mentor of Chevy Szcewczuk, you get It all when you select this player.
6)Mike ‘Lovie’ Edgar: Franchise player, often compared to Brett Hull, Eric Lindros and Mikhail Grabovski…he goes first round..One, Two or Three?
7)Anthony ‘Bulldog’ Meloche: A sharper, younger Sergie Federov. This guy can play.  Great team spirit.
8)Dave ‘Spinner’ Dzibela: “Holy Mackinaw….what a shot”. Big # 44 can play…and is good with the ladies.
9)Victor ‘Snowpants’ Ferranti: He can score, he can pass, he can make a difference. First round selection.
10)Steven ‘Stevo’ Jaworiwsky: Has lost a step or two, but can still put the puck in the net, if you select him, get him a set up guy.
11)Ray ‘Razor’ MacDonnel: All star goalie, compared to Ken Dryden, Curtis Joseph, Terry Sawchuk and Martin Brodeur.

Continue Reading

It is ALL in the WORDS

Posted by Youngblood on January 17, 2011
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(Lower hairy region assoc press):

Having media credentials – even if they are forged, does have its advantages, like being able to write about a team I love – the Tomcats. I just received a correspondence from the President of the journalism associated press of Canada regarding a recent story I had uncovered. After reading it, I went to the Tomcats website (Which should be on everyones favourite list), and saw a recent article by the Commish. It challenged my last article regarding KOWALCZYKOWSKI playing in the upcoming tournament. All I can say is that it is All TRUE – I did in fact speak with Derek KOWALCZYKOWSKI, who indicated he would play in the upcoming tournament. Mind you when I say play – people expect a little too much. What was said – without the permission to repeat, I dont even know if KOWALCZYKOWSKI thought he was being interviewed – he was after all so engrossed in those fat chicks at the gym. Anyway – I got the scoop of the century – KOWALCZYKOWSKI was going to play. When I asked him about the tournament it brought a big smile to his face and he described what playing in the tournament meant. KOWALCZYKOWSKI described his playing time as stepping out on the floor – in his players uniform (And maybe some equipement). Once he stepped on the floor – maybe he will wave to the fans, take a bow, wave the stick around like the champion scorers of old – and leave quietly. A great way to go into retirement – a players last taste of playing glory – before being forced to retire due to a injury. A great way to go out – step on that floor – feel the playing surface for one last time, and hold the stick in a last stand before all the fans – as a PLAYER – What a story!!! – It brought a lump to my throat – and it may just be the fire the Polka kings need to repeat as champs. The Polka Kings have a secret weapon in their corner this year – KOWALCZYKOWSKI likely retiring from the game – and I bet, against those 3-1 Vegas odds – the Polka Kings play with a certain fire. The Polka Kings are playing to win one last championship for KOWALCZYKOWSKI – That will make them a very dangerous team. So Commish – unlike the last story that had poor Skippy suiting up, due to a unfounded tip – this one is legit – its just ALL IN THE WORDS – play does not mean minutes, running, or even participating in the actual game. KOWALCZYKOWSKI play is just for one man to go out in style. I hope KOWALCZYKOWSKI does step onto the floor – and the fans get up and give a great guy a standing O, what a way to retire!!!

I quess I will keep up with the tips folks, cause to get the journalism press involved, and a response from the Commish – I think it really means the fans are reading all the correspondence from all the Tomcat press corps- Including Harry BALLSONUE, Heywood JEWBLOWMEE, and myself – Yuri HANZONMECACAC. I quess this internet thing has really taken off for the Tomcats – and breaking news can indeed happen at anytime – anywhere – stay tuned for those tips, and game recaps from your favourite press guys.

Yuri

Tomcats Fuming at Bunko Artist Yuri Hands

Posted by Youngblood on January 10, 2011
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…by Harry Ballsonue 

Tomcats President and Chief Operating Officer, Stefan E. Jaworiwsky prides himself on accurate information being distributed throughout the Tomcat organization. “Communication is the international solvent”, Jaworiwsky says, as his face turns red, “Then I see some hack, some bunko artist, write an article on the Tomcat website about Darek Kowalczykowski playing in the tournament, that is false.  The head line is wrong, he is not planning on playing”. Jaworiwsky continues to talk  to me, in his plush office located on the South East corner of the Kapusta Kow Palace overlooking the Detroit River,  he motions to me, with his pointer finger, to wait one moment as he gets his assistant on the line, ‘Amanda get me our lawyers on the line, this guy must be stopped, who is this hockey hater, Yuri Hanzon on something or rather, MS. Howell, call the Police, we need to make sure this guy does not get on the property ever again’.

Jaworiwsky then smiles at me, takes a sip of his Perrier water and whispers to me, “Sorry you had to see that, but this so called web writer, first writes a false story about a mini tournament to be played December 21, he gets some poor naïve kid, Skippy Renaud to get dressed in goaltending equipment, the poor kid, gets on the Kapusta Kow floor and has to be told, he is not playing goalie, that the article was incorrectly written”. Jaworiwsky pauses, then continues, “This is total nonsense, this Yuri Hansonmy whatever, sounds like a made up name too, total nonsense, this guy needs to get his typing fingers broken”. Jaworiwsky concludes.

I’m ushered out of his office, as the Police arrive and so does the President of the Journalism Association of Canada. I am not privy to that conversation, but, both the Cop and the Journalism President did not look impressed with my so called fellow journalist.

So, just so you know, Darek Kowalzyckowski is not playing in the tournament and I am following up a lead on the Chris Girard story, I am told that Girard is to make a decision on whether or not he plans to play in the tournament in the next day or so.  I will keep you posted.

Yuri was right about only one thing, Fat Bottom Girls, do really make the rock and roll world go round.

Hockey starts up on January 18, 2011, I am told it is a 6:30 start!  Where is that precious little forehead of yours, I can’t wait to put my Harry Ballsonue

ZSCAHBBA TO PLAY!!!

Posted by Youngblood on January 10, 2011
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(Harry lower region pres):
 
Breaking news Tomcat fans – and unlike the last tip I received regarding a 2010 final tournament type game being played – this one is legit.  I was scoping out the local gyms looking to see if I could find any Tomcat players preparing for the new season. 

Low and behold I found ZSCAHBBA – mind you he was just wandering thru (I think he was checking out the fat chicks), but he did stop after I hooked him up with one (Cause like the Commish says – Fat girls make the world go round babby!!!) – and he actually spoke with me! CRAZY!!!. 

When I brought up the upcoming tournament Derek indicated his knee was still in bad shape – Bad enough to possibly retire for good (What a loss to the organization).  I knew he was serious when he indicated he was even going to have to give up his soccer season.  Tomcat fans will be crushed, but will see ZSCAHBBA tournament time.  ZSCAHBBA indicated he will step out on the floor briefly – in effect making him a player – then scoot off for the remainder – and celebrate another Polka king win.  At press time bookies have it 3-1 for the team to repeat – but I just could not burst his bubble.   SO fans look to see ZSCAHBBA perhaps for the last time as a player at the tournament.
 
Till the next breaking news – Yuri HANZONMECACAK (Again)
 
 

Lovie Lights the Lamp interviewing your Tomcat Goalies

Posted by Youngblood on January 6, 2011
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Lovie and the Tomcat Goalies have done a bang up job doing a little Sports Illustrated style Q & A.

This was done some time ago and has undergone undue delays because of an editorial desire for a nice little table to put the Q & A’s in. Oh well. Undue delays are just that: undue. To ensure Lovie’s Labours aren’t Lost, dig it:

Oh: Be sure to hit the ‘Continue Reading’ link at the bottom to get the whole article.

1. TV show I would guest star on:

Razor: Mr. Dressup. Why?  I have 2 words for you pal: Casey and Finnigan, nuf’ said. (B.J. and the Bear was a close second)

Bearcat : Golden girls because it sure would be easy to pick up those women.

Falcon: This is a toughie because there are so many, but I would have to say it would be ‘Man vs Food’.  Just watching him eat those giant pizza’s and hamburgers makes me hungry.  I think I’d be able to finish most of those challenges.  I’m thinking road trip to start hitting those places to get me in my tomcats jacket up on the wall of fames.

Skippy: Probably have to go with the Off the record segment on Sports centre – It would finally allow a full hour of Goaltenders crowing about their accomplishments in and out of net.  It would also provide valuable footage of those spectacular saves we do make, VS the loss everyone talks about.  

 2. Ginger or Mary-Anne and why:

Razor: Ginger. Those lips were made for bone smokin’. (Just for shits and giggles, Mrs. Howell would have been my next pick)

  Continue Reading

2010 Comes to a Tomcat End

Posted by Youngblood on December 30, 2010
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…..by Harry Ballsanoue

The Tomcats have had a great year. Tournament saw the Polka Kings win the Championship in overtime, the first ever overtime in tournament play. Johnny ‘Husky Eyes’ Salaris, scores 3 minutes and 58 seconds in, to give team orange, the Polka Kings the win. A nicer guy could not have scored that goal.

Then came the end of the season, and extra week was played and a huge turnout showed up. This whole Windsor Tomcat Hockey thing is really catching on. The Bulldog’s outdoor game. Long sleeve shirts in black and white for both teams.

Golf outing at Seven Lakes in June, the weather was perfect, like all Tomcat events.

September comes and 5 new Tomcats signed up, (Shamus, Crow, Doc, Soupy and Skippy) Once again, this whole Tomcat Hockey thing is really catching on.

Huge turnouts each Tuesday, with only one week, where the Tuesday hockey only had one spare on one side and 2 on the other. The rest of the weeks, 3 and two spares…with the last few weeks, 4 and five spares, and then 5 and 5 spares on the last night of hockey.

Have you seen the really cool ‘Tomcats Forever’ bracelet. Whoa!

I love the Tomcats, the four goalies, are all great guys; Razor, Falcon, Skippy and Bearcat.

The defenders play hard, the Rake back from injury, brings 12 beers and then has his own beer week the week after, Sparky, Rocky, Cribz, Yuri, Hollywood and Doc Brewin.  Of course Junior would be there, if his lower body injury was not keeping him out.

And so would Darek Kowalczykowski, if he had not had knee surgery. Do you not think, Zschabba would not love to defend his Polka King title come February 26?

Then you have the Tomcat goal scores. Chevy, Stevo, Spinner, Bulldog, Youngblood, Jingles, Husky Eyes, Lovie, Shamus, Soupy, Crow, Killer, Snowpants and Hurricane Hann.

Even the Farm Call ups are great guys, La Bamba Vlaminck, brings beer, scores goals and makes some great plays….the Tomcats seem to have it going on.

So I raise a class of Champagne to you the Tomcats, thanks for being the guys you are and the greatest job in hockey is covering the Windsor Tomcats!

Oh, where is your shiny little forehead, I want to put my Harry Ballsonue.