Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

The Ides of March (Latin: Idus Martiae, Late Latin: Idus Martii) is a day on the Roman calendar that corresponds to March 15th. It was marked by several religious observances and became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC.

Teams:
BULLDOG THUNDERBIRDS Bulldog, Stevo, Big Ned, Soupy, Chevy, The Rake, Chico (Net), Cribzie, Snowpants
SUNNY MAVERICKS Sunny, Hurricane, The Terror (Net), The Turk, Rocky, Beep, Sparky, Sol and Helios

You might be thinking pretty even teams, but who the hell is Helios. You know Sunny’s boy Sol, but who the hell is named after Greek Mythology, Helios?  Well it Means “sun” in Greek. This was the name of the young Greek sun god, who rode across the sky each day in a chariot pulled by four horses. And whose brother is he, Sol’s. Whose son is he? Sunny’s.

Helios makes his Tomcat Debut, drafted number one
over all two years ago, he has been an anticipated player for the Tomcats. 
“The future looks bright with Sol and Helios,” stated Sparky.

Hockey was incredible. No stiffs playing and the scores were 9-6 for the Mavericks and then the second game went to a 10-10 tie and both goalies played great. “When you have the caliber of hockey players that we had out tonight, there are no slouches, it was fast, clean hockey and that is evident by the number of goals that were scored,” stated Soupy.

What also made it a fun night was watching some of the young Tomcat talent out, Big Ned, Sol and Helios.

“It was a thrill for me, Sol has played in the past but to have Helios out there, and the three of us on the same team well, it was a magical moment in my life,” stated an elated Sunny.

Is that Gordie with Mark and Marty? No, it’s Sunny with Sol and Helios!

“It was great watching my dad play tonight, he scored a ton of goals and two on shots that went right through the goalies legs, he is an incredible person, and incredible dad and now I can see an incredible hockey player, I guess thats where I get it from,” stated Helios smiling.

SPARKY HAS A FAVOUR TO ASK

Sparky is looking for a few good men to help next week clear out the empties from the Tomcat room. If interested, please show up at 6:15 ready to work. “There is not a lot up there but with a few guys helping it will make the job go by quicker,” stated Sparky.  So, please come out and pitch in, don’t ask what the Tomcats can do for you, ask what you can do for the Tomcats.

TOMCAT GOLF TOURNAMENT

June 16 is still the date for the Tomcat Golf Tournament, make sure you get that day off.  Snowpants will be providing all Tomcats with further information, when it becomes available.  He always, always, does a fantastic job, you do not want to miss this fun tournament.  Snowpants is also considering changing the format to a two man scramble.  If you have any concerns or ideas about this, Snowpants would love to hear from you.

OTHER GOLF TOURNAMENT

The Turk is organizing his annual Kapusta Open, in honour of Bill Booksa, the date is June 3 and the cost is only $110. It is a four man scramble. Please see Turk to get your money in.

FUNNYNESS HARRY BALLSONUE STYLE

I Polish guy goes to the DMV (in the states) to apply for a drivers license. First he had to take and eye sight test. The optician showed him the letter card, C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this”? the optician asked. “Read it,” replied the Polish applicant, “ I know the guy!”

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them “I must tell you all something, we have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.” “Thank God” said an elderly nun at the back, “I’m so tired of Chardonnay.”

While you are thinking about the two funny stories, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Chico (24) Chevy (12)

Between the Pipes: The Terror, Chico and TBD

Starting Line Up:  Sparky, Sunny, Son of Sunny, Hurricane, The Rake, The Turk, Soupy, Snowpants, Cribzie, Bulldog, Stevo, Big Ned (Stevo’s son), Rocky, Chevy, Beep, Sheepdog

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Razor, Jingles, Spinner

Healthy Scratches: Skippy, Matador, Scuz, El Choppo, Falcon, Doc, Kamikaze, Killer, Hollywood, Tunzie, LaBamba

Sitting in Press Box:  Hicksee, Crow

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: N/A

Captains for the Mini:  TBD

Skinny:  With March break, we would expect this list to widdle down more by Tuesday.  We will see.

March 7 Hockey and 7 Weeks Left of Hockey by Harry Ballsonue

March 8 2014…….Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 with 239 people loses contact and disappears, prompting the most expensive search effort in history

TEAMS

Cribzie Cannons, Cribzie, Doc, Tunzie, Matador, Hurricane, Rake, Falcon and Snowpants

Kamikaze Kamandos, Kamikaze, Soupy, The Terror, Sunny, Bulldog, Stevo, Sparky and The Turk

Hockey was very good.  Two way play, but in the first game, the Cannons had horse shoes up their asses, and the Kamados found them selves down 8-0 but then with 3 minutes and 47 seconds on the clock, the Kamando’s finally scored their first goal of the game.  The shots were even up to then, and the final score rang out 9-1 for the Cribzie Cannons.

In the second game, the Kamikaze Kamandos were not going to take the 9-1 loss lightly, they came out quick and hard and ended up with 6-1 lead.  The final score, Kamandos 8 Cannons 3.

Stevo was at the Helm today, (Rocky Sidle Lined with a wrist injury) and Stevo rang out his solid “Let’s Go”…ah familiarity.

Doc was suppose to bring a 12 and brought a 24, put her there Doc….solid by Doc.

SOME TOURNAMENT INSIGHT.

Hurricane of the Hurricanes had some insightful information about the tournament, “I found that winning our 3rd game 9-8 and getting into the finals, saw me with little to no energy for the final game.  I doubt very much I will be playing next year.  It would have been fun to finish my tournament career with a win as a Champion, but my team was the best team I ever had in a tournament, with that, it is a honour to have finished my last tournament with them”.  a weepy Hurricane had stated.

PHOTOS OF STANLEY’S CUP TOURNAMENT

Team Photo 2017 Windsor Tomcats

Tunzie is about to take his first sip from the Stanley’s Cup as Chevy looks on

The Terror is about to take his first sip from the Stanely’s Cup, “Hey its an actual Cup, oh my!” stated The Terror

The 2017 Stanely’s Cup Champions, The Sparky Victorious Secrets

I was not privy to any GAA’s from the Stanley’s Cup Tournament, but I certainly would love to find them out, what they were and for who, on the highlight reel I could see how the Terror got MVP, but how did the other goalies fair? If anyone knows of a web site, or a published magazine where these stats are kept, please send them along to me. There is nothing like knowing a GAA.

DOC AND JOAD THE TOAD

Doc and Joad the Toad threw their annual house warming party and the theme was ‘wear what you will be wearing in the year 2525”.

Serta and Soupy

Stevo and Soupy, “Stevo was a female hooker and Soupy was a Greek Cosmonaut”.

TOMCAT GOLF TOURNAMENT

June 16 is still the date for the Tomcat Golf Tournament, make sure you get that day off. Snowpants will be providing all Tomcats with further information, when it becomes available. He always, always, does a fantastic job, you do not want to miss this fun tournament.

OTHER GOLF TOURNAMENT

The Turk is organizing his annual Kapusta Open, in honour of Bill Booksa, the date is June 3 and the cost is only $110.  It is a four man scramble.  Please see Turk to get your money in.

MARCH BREAK

March Break is next week, if you are unable to make the night of Hockey, please let Rocky know.  Also, if your kid, who is over 16 years old and wants to play, this is the night to come out, but let Rocky know, if you are going to bring your son out to play….

And Hey…. while you are thinking to yourself, was there not some sort of conspiracy theory on Malaysia Flight 370 and that it actually landed at an American Air Force Base in the Indian Ocean, called Diego Garcia…Hummmmm, it actually did, while you are pondering that little nugget of information, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Stevo (24) Doc (12)

Between the Pipes: Falcon and the Terror

Starting Line Up:  Sparky, Sunny, Doc, Hurricane, The Rake, The Turk, Soupy, Snowpants, Cribzie, Bulldog, Matador, Tunzie, Killer, Kamikaze, Stevo

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Razor, Jingles, Spinner, Rocky

Healthy Scratches: Hollywood, Skippy, LaBamba, Sheepdog, Chevy, Beep, Chico, Scuz, El Choppo

Sitting in Press Box:  Hicksee, Shack, Crow

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: N/A

Captains for the Mini:  TBD

Skinny:  Going old school tonight…no mini and Stevo is in charge!

LIFE LESSON FOR 2017

Sometimes we try too hard

To get to the greener pasture.

In the process, we end up in trouble.

And when you find yourself in trouble

And you’re stuck in a situation

That you can’t get out of,

  There is one thing

You should always  remember –

Not everyone who shows up

Is there to help

To the victors (Sparky’s Victoria Secrets) go the coveted Stanley’s Cup; and for two members of team went the ‘sip’, or should I say shower.

The First timer Tunzie followed the age old tradition and practically took a shower from an enthusiastic Chevy who helped initiate him via a pour through the cup.  MVP The ‘Terror’ also drank deeply from the well and had a bit of a ‘aha’ moment when he realized the ‘cup’ was actually – a ‘cup’.    I don’t think either player minded as each they snagged their first Championship win.  And from the way The ‘Terror’ played, I expect he’ll see some more rings adorn his fingers.

The road to that cup was truly remarkable, considering the team only had a single spare.  Shack committed to draft, was chosen to be on the team and never showed.  Regardless, lead by Terror and sniper Soupy the team willed their way into the finals.  I say this as twice in the tourny they came back from multi goal deficits; each time however Sparky’s team found a way to win.

The finals featured Hurricanes Squad; who also put together a great run.  Regrettably they ran into a really hot goalie and lost out 5-3.  Afterwards The Danish said, ‘I really thought we had it; we were up by a pair’.  Perhaps it was the Rake’s motivational pre-game speech; ‘Remember boys, Yurri pre-DICK-ted we’d come in last.   Touché Rake, touché.

I did predict Hurricane’s team would make it to the finals; but had them playing Mayday’s squad, who I selected as Champs.  Guess I was partially right as I did have 1 squad picked out right.

My colleague correctly called it with Sparky’s team tasting victory; so my hats off to him whilst I enjoy eating crow.

I called it wrong; but I say everyone ‘won’ as each player walked out with 2 new shirts and their bellies full of food and beer.  Doesn’t get much better than that for $30.

Congrats again to MVP The ‘Terror’ and Sparky’s Victorious Secrets. And while you have visions of your favourite model in your head, I noticed Yurri Handzonmecac.

Yurri

Team 1 (Wearing Green) – Team Hurricane

Team 2 (Wearing White) – Team Mayday

Team 3 (Wearing Red) – Team Bulldog

Team 4 (Wearing Black) – Team Sparky

7am – First Game Starts!

Team 1 vs 2
Team 3 vs 4

Photos Taken

Team 1 vs 4
Team 2 vs 3
Team 1 vs 3
Team 2 vs 4

Championship Game

The Tomcats finally had enough guys show (or better said, very few guys cancel) to have three teams.  Thanks to The Danish and Chico for being able to fill in with the ever-present Falcon to ensure there were enough goalies for the night.  With the unusually mild February temperatures, the air in the Kapusta seemed more like early September or late April…lots of sweat and lots of water needed between games.

Hollywood’s Heaters – Chico, Hurricane, Beep, Bulldog, Snowpants, The Rake and Hollywood

Sparky’s Sizzlers – Falcon, The Turk, Doc, Rocky, Chevy, Tunzie and Sparky

Sunny’s Scorchers – The Danish, Killer, Flintstone, Soupy, Cribzie, Matador and Sunny

Very close, low scoring games to begin so the teams looked pretty even.  There was a feeling in the air many guys were under “tournament tension” already and stepping up their games.  However, The Scorchers were able to produce a couple of beat downs over the Heaters and Sizzlers.  Ultimately, I am not sure who even won the mini, but at times, the Scorchers looked like earth beaters.

The annual tournament is this weekend.  Did anyone mention games begin at 7am sharp?  Remember, parking lot is off limits for the Tomcats except for the final few spots closest to the bank.  Park in the clinic lot behind the Kapusta or even in the Unifor lot behind that.  Once hockey is done around 11-11:30 am, drinks will flow on the Kapusta floor (provided by Tomcats and Captains) and pizza will arrive by 1 pm.  $20 to your captain for the tournament, and $10 for pizza.

Despite the great hockey, what really marked the essence of Tomcat hockey was the guys sharing a pop on stage afterwards, telling funny stories and having a laugh.  As well, seeing many Tomcats just randomly pick up the $5 charge for other Tomcats really tells the story of what it means to be part of this group.

As I wipe a tear from my face,

Howie Feltersnatch

This week, instead of a motivator, I thought I’d send in a short educational lesson to help improve the minds of both Tomcats and fans!

Physics!

 

 

Hope this is not a little too deep or wobbly for you…. 

 

  Isn’t Physics great?..  

Bringers of the Bottles:   Matador, Falcon (24) Hollywood, LaBamba (12)

Between the Pipes: Falcon and Danish (maybe Scuz, if not Chico?, Matador?…will there even be a need for 3 goalies?)

Starting Line Up:  Sparky, El Choppo, Rocky, Chevy, Sunny, Doc, Beep, Hurricane, The Rake, The Turk, Chico, Soupy, Snowpants, Cribzie, Bulldog, Matador, Tunzie, Killer

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Razor, Jingles, Spinner

Healthy Scratches: Hollywood, Skippy, The Terror, LaBamba, Stevo, Sheepdog, Kamikaze

Sitting in Press Box:  Hicksee, Shack, Crow

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: N/A

Captains for the Mini:  TBD

Skinny:  What are the chances a mini occurs before the big tournament?

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

This year’s tournament will start at 7am!!

Got it?

Check your email for more of an explanation.

In case you forgot, the games start at 7am on Saturday February 25th!