Bringers of the Bottles: Kamikaze (24 from last week), Sheepdog (12)
Between the Pipes: Falcon, Terror
Starting Line Up: Sparky, Snowpants, Stevo, Rocky, Sheepdog, Chevy, LaBamba, Rake, Cribzie, Killer, Doc, Turk, Kamikaze, Matador, Soupy
PUP (Physically Unable to Play): Razor, Jingles, Spinner (close to making a return)
Healthy Scratches: Skippy, Scuz, Chico, Beep, Bulldog, Hollywood, Hurricane, Sunny, El Chopo, Tunzie
Sitting in Press Box: Hicksee, Crow
With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: Ricki
Captains for the Mini: TBD
Skinny: Two teamer…had to convince The Terror to play just to have 2 goalies!
The Annual Pantelone de Neige golf outing will be on Friday June 16th at Sutton Creek. Tee off will begin at 10am sharp. Golf will be $46.25 per person. We can stay after for drinks and food.
Please reach out to Snowpants to let him know you are in as there is only room for 24 golfers. More details will follow as we get closer to the date!
Another unique night for the Tomcat history books. Both a mini tournament and a two team night occurred on the same night. How is that possible??
The night started off with a rare 3-team mini tournament. Three goalies were on hand (Falcon, Skippy and the Danish – actually 4…Hollywood came prepared to play net as well). Even with the last minute cancellations, we still had enough guys to go with three teams.
Sunny’s Blackcats – Sunny, The Danish, LaBamba, Rake, Bulldog, Snowpants and Rocky
Soupy’s Whitefish – Soupy, Skippy, El Chopo, Hollywood, Matador, Sparky
Beep’s Redbirds – Beep, Killer, Falcon, Tunzie, Hurricane, Turk
Things looked lopsided after the first game when the Whitefish took it to the Blackcats. However, thereafter, the play really leveled off with each team taking some wins, losses and ties.
Then it got interesting…the Whitefish, seeing they were out of contention, did not want to play the second to final game and suggested Black and Red just play. Many of the Whitefish had already started to change out of their gear but some held on to still playing. Rather than just have the Red and Black play the final game, it was suggested that the Whitefish split up evenly into Red and Black and one final 20 minute game be played among two teams…so it happened. A three-team night became a two-team night.
One of the Whitefish that did not return to play was Hollywood. He had a “Stevo – I’m not having fun anymore” moment and did not suit back up as he thought the play had been too rough and was not willing to get injured. Speaking of injuries, the all-time leading Lady Byng award winner, Bulldog, was responsible for an elbow that caused El Chopo to be cut above the left eye. Clearly an accident coming from the most gentlemanly player the Tomcats have ever had.
Only 3 weeks left in this Tomcat campaign…rumor has it something special is being planned for the last night on April 18th.
Until next time,
Howie
Bringers of the Bottles: Kamikaze (24)
Between the Pipes: Falcon, Hollywood & The Danish
Starting Line Up: Sparky, Sunny, Hurricane, Soupy, Snowpants, Rocky, Beep, Tunzie, El Chopo, LaBamba, Rake, Killer, Doc, Turk, Kamikaze (on the fence), Bulldog, Matador
PUP (Physically Unable to Play): Razor, Jingles, Spinner (close to making a return)
Healthy Scratches: Skippy, Stevo, Chevy, The Terror, Scuz, Sheepdog, Chico, Cribzie
Sitting in Press Box: Hicksee, Crow
With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: Ricki
Captains for the Mini: TBD
Skinny: What is the over/under on having a 3 team night?
The hockey Gods and Windsor Tomcats must be doing the ‘tap’ dance of joy. In what I will refer to as a ‘rare’ gentlemanly like act, ‘The Terror’ recently played for/with the Sandwichtowne Skipjacks. Sources indicate that the back story is that about a week ago ‘Skippy’ reached out to the Tomcats President requesting the contact information for ‘Terror’. At the time Skippy had indicated he was running his annual ‘Tilston Dome Tournament’ and desperately required a second goalie. Being the gracious organization the Tomcats are; contact information was provided and negotiations between the Skipjacks and Terror unfolded.
Fast forward to Sunday March 19th, 2017 – almost 4 years to the date of the Tomcats winning the inaugural ‘Tilston Cup’ and another ‘new’ Tomcat (The ‘Terror’) suited up for the Skipjacks. Skipjacks management was able to look at the BIG picture; swallowed their pride and made the right call as the ‘Terror’ was able to end their 5 year drought and brought the team its first ‘Tilston Cup’ Championship. Now I know pundits/critics will quickly point out a ‘Tomcat’ assisted in that win – and that is true; however in watching the tourny I can attest it was truly a team effort. In one game the ‘Terror’ was down 5 goals, yet his team was able to rally and won the game 6-5. Taking into account the games were timed; this was truly a remarkable feat. The real ‘win-win’ is that the tourny is run solely to raise money for local charities; and this year the Windsor Police ‘Camp Brombal’ and the John McGivney Centre were selected.
With this ‘win’, the ‘Terror’ now has captured two different cups with two different teams. Surely THAT must be a Tomcat record. From the Tomcats perspective it looks like the signing of the ‘Terror’ may have been one of their best yet. No doubt ‘Terror’ has now entered the conversation as challenging the Falcon for the top seeded goalie. I reached out to the Falcon to see what his reaction was and he commented, ‘Tilston Cup – won that too; and I have a mitt full of ‘Stanley’s Cups’. The Terror has played a great season, but I am not yet ready to concede top spot to anyone’. ‘Let’s wait to see how he fares in next season’s tournament. Few of us goalies have won the ‘Stanley’s Cup back-to-back. Now that’s a feat’.
More interesting is rumours have begun to swirl as next season (2017-18) will mark the 5th year anniversary of the Tomcats taking the inaugural ‘Tilston Cup’. The ‘whispers’ are plans are being hatched to test whether the Tomcats would be willing to field another team and challenge again for the cup. Time will tell; but with new Tomcat management in place speculation is 7 Tomcats and a goalie ‘could’ be persuaded to play. If I were to be in that meeting I’d suggest a ‘healthy’ bribe of the Tomcats favourite beverage. Fingers crossed that conversation goes well. With the ‘Tilston Cup’ featuring 4 different teams verse the original origins of simply playing another team; well I would suggest winning the cup in the ‘new’ format makes it that much more sweeter.
After the game the ‘Terror’ simply stated, ‘Thanks for letting me play’; and left. What a guy – humble and now a part of another cup to celebrate. Congrats Terror; now let’s see if this quiet guy can continue to be a force reckoned with the Tomcats.
And while your thinking, ‘That Terror; what a classy guy’; I noticed Yurri HANDZONMECAC.
Yurri.
Gents,
see below. Once again the Turk is organizing this great golf tournament in June and it would be great if many Tomcats showed up. Let Turk know if you are interested.
While on vacation Chevy had the opportunity to hang out at the beach. While at the beach bar 2 college students approached Chevy and were talking about wifi access. Once they found out he was a famous hockey player the conversation heated up. I can’t believe your name is Chevy that is so cool the one girl said. I have always wanted to ride a Chevy the other said. So I told them about our long standing history starting in 1989 and all the famous players that have stood on the stage. From South Carolina they decided they wanted to visit but when I asked if they wanted to meet Harry Ballsonue Phil Landerer and Yuri Handzonmecac I lost them…
Another two-team night as many last day cancellations occurred. Seems like Tomcats are very busy these days and Tuesday hockey is often axed when more pressing things come up. Nonetheless, a great night of rocking hockey with good clean action and good pace of play.
Teams:
Sunny’s Black Betty’s – Sunny, Soupy, Chico, Hollywood (net), Rocky, Cribzie, Domenic (new guy) and Chevy
Snowy’s White Weddings – Snowpants, Beep, Hurricane, Falcon, Killer, Sparky, Tunzie and Sheepdog
The White Weddings jumped out to a large lead in game only to see the Betty’s storm back. Very even teams ending in an 8-8 tie.
The first period of the second game proved the teams were well-selected as after 16 minutes of play, the Weddings were up only 1-0. However, all bets on evenness were off come the second period where the Weddings blanked the Betty’s with 5 more un-answered goals…there went the great team selection.
New-comer Domenic (nick named “Ricky” by Sparky) showed he has wheels and a feel for the flow of the game. He created several good scoring chances and didn’t take long to notch his first career Tomcat goal. During the play, Snowpants yelled out “great play Rookie!” Sparky immediately chimed in, “you mean Ricky?” The name stuck.
Domenic (aka Ricky) made his debut as a Tomcat and will likely be a spare player going forward.
If you are a Windsor resident, be very leery of your tax rates. At one point during the first game, the Weddings were given and extra goal on the scoreboard. Several announcements were made of the real score (“away has 5 goals, not 6). At least 4-5 were made over the ensuing 10 minutes of play. When the Wedding’s scored, as expected, no goal was added to the clock to make the number correct. Several member’s of the white team, despite the repeated announcements were confused as to why another goal was not added. This include one such Tomcat that does finance for the City….so be aware 🙂
A super solid goes out to Cribzie for bringing in some sausage and crackers for the boys to share on stage afterwards. Always a class-act!
Until next time,
Howie Feltersnatch
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there’s no hope for you. I was crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City park.
The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.”
Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie’s Maniac Monster Chili…
Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 — (Frank) Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2 Austin’s Afterburner Chili…
Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3 Ronny’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili…
Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 — A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh!t-faced from all of the beer…
Chili # 4 Dave’s Black Magic…
Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3! — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT…just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa’s Legal Lip Remover…
Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me ! off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam’s Very Vegetarian Variety…
Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my a** with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla’s Screaming Sensation Chili…
Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen’s Toenail Curling Chili…
Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he’d! have reacted to really hot chili?
A little treat for those who read the whole thing!
Bringers of the Bottles: Tunzie (24)
Between the Pipes: Falcon and Hollywood
Starting Line Up: Sparky, Sunny, Hurricane, Soupy, Snowpants, Cribzie, Rocky, Chevy, Beep, Sheepdog, Chico, Tunzie, Dom (Rocky’s friend – coming out to be scouted as a potential spare)
PUP (Physically Unable to Play): Razor, Jingles, Spinner (close to making a return)
Healthy Scratches: Skippy, El Choppo, LaBamba, Stevo, Rake, Killer, Doc, The Turk, Kamikaze, Bulldog, The Terror, Scuz, Matador
Sitting in Press Box: Hicksee, Crow
With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up: N/A
Captains for the Mini: TBD
Skinny: Down to two teams.
