Windsor Tomcats

IMPORTANT: I have reviewed the season to date and noted for the 4 ‘Mini Tournaments’ played to date there have been no 1-2-3 star selections. I want to correct that with my picks from last nights action. 3rd Star – Matador (He’s awarded the 3rd star after exploding for a hat trick in on of the games on the night. More on the goalie who was victimized later…), 2nd Star – Soupy (By far the heart and sole of Kamikaze’s team, the likable superstar had some nifty highlight reel goals), and 1st Star Sunny (OMG – Best goal I think I’ve ever seen scored. Sunny undressed at least 3 defenders with a S-W-E-E-T spin move ‘ala Spinner’ and parked his shot glove hand side high. I’ve been watching the replay over and over).

IMPOTENT: Poor Skippy. He cements his first ever shut out on the first game of the night, and keeps the play up with another solid game losing 2-1. In all, he accounted for just over 16 minutes of shut out hockey. Even veteran the Rake tipped his hat and wondered aloud, ‘How long can Skippy’s luck hold?’. Turns out till the fatal 3rd game – where he was absolutely eviscerated 8-1. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? How do you go from playing 2 full games of near shut out hockey to being the victim of setting a new high scoring record for another team?. When asked veteran goalie Coach /player Sealion replied, ‘The lad’s still finding his form and just hasn’t been able to close it out lately. Thankfully he was able to follow up being thrashed with a decent game and closed the night on a win. The Tomcats signing of Terror and Chico gives us a great deal of flexibility and depth in net’.

IMPORTANT: Have you replied to Snowpants, Sunny or Chevy about coming out to the annual Christmas Tomcats Party at the Rock Bottom on December 1st, 2017? Will you be bringing the lovely other half? Are you going to try and match Snowpants famed tight/shiny leather pants? when pressed about fashion, Snowpants had this to say, ‘I think the next Tomcats piece of clothing needs to be a nice smoking jacket ‘a la Hugh Hefner’ with the logo on the left chest. That way after a long game I could just slip that bad boy on, grab a cold one and chill’.

IMPORTANT: The games last night were mostly (Save that 3 rd game of a 8-1 score) tightly contested and hockey was great. There were times however some ‘chippyness’ crept in and may have caused veteran player Hollywood a potential fine. During the closing seconds of a game Hollywood and Doc had a small dust up in the corner which resulted in Hollywood throwing his stick and smashing same on the nearby boards. Past incidents of a similar nature have resulted in ‘beverage’ fines. This will definitely be an interesting story to follow as Rocky was not in attendance and named Hollywood as being ‘in charge’.

Impotent: Did you know ‘Dr. Google’ claims 18 Million U.S men suffer from erectile dysfunction? Whilst your thinking ‘Tomcats are manly men and have no issues with their sticks’, I noticed Yuri HANDZONMECAC.

For the record Doc’s team (Black) took the Mini.

Yurri

Bringers of the Bottles:   Hurricane/Rocky (24), LaBamba/Cribzie (12)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, The Terror and Skippy (Chico will play out)

Starting Line Up:  Chico, Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tonto, Sunny, Sparky, May Day, Hollywood, Chevy, Cribzie, Doc, Slim Jim

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, The Turk, Spinner, Hurricane

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Bulldog, LaBamba, Sheepdog, Tunes, El Chopo

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  Mini as of now…let’s see what cancellations occur.

Hopefully no Tomcat lives under a rock and has since seen the several communications that hockey is cancelled this evening so those with children can enjoy Halloween.  If you don’t have children and or your children are older, take the chance to hand out candy to other youngsters.  If you are a scrooge and don’t hand out candy, take the opportunity to watch the World Series.  If you don’t like baseball, take the opportunity to spend time with your significant other.  If you don’t have a significant other, take the opportunity to find a significant other.  If none of the above apply to you, simply take the night to sit on your couch and have a beer and dream about all the fun you will have next week when the Tomcats resume the regular schedule.

I’ve been sitting on this news for a bit; but with the recent no press allowed game and management review of recent ‘rough’ play; I haven’t been able to submit anything.

A close look at the schedule tipped my hand.  The Tomcats have announced that next Tuesday (Hallowe’en), due to numerous players having ‘little Tomcats’ to bring trick or treating, hockey is cancelled.  A rare second cancellation of the night will occur.  Good news about cancellations is a conversation around the ‘beer bringers’ list.  On Hallowe’en, Rocky is slated for a 24 and Cribzie calls for a half case.  Does this mean the following week there will be an excess of bevies flowing?  Yep, these Tomcats will bring their beer in addition to the already scheduled bringers…I know of one thirsty journalist who will be sneaking in….

While your thinking you can’t wait for all the beer on November 7th, I noticed Yuri Handzonmecac!

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

“It is your response to winning and losing that makes you a winner or a loser”
Harry Sheehy

TEAMS

The Hollywood White Feathered Liberaces …Hollywood, Falcon, Kamikaze, La Bamba, Soupy, Sunny and the Rake

The Snowpants Black Leather Cross Dressing Hoovers…Snowpants, The Terror, Spinner, Sparky, Matador, Killer, Chico and Tunzie

So after last week, The Windsor Tomcats management group decided to bring in a referee to watch and monitor the games played. There were no incidents and the Tomcat organization was very happy that they sent a ref to monitor. “We don’t believe we will be using one again, unless more shenanigans rear their ugly head”. stated President Rocky.

Ref Stevo calls off controversial goal scored by Killer when he headed it in like a soccer player. No coaches challenge …”no goal!”

One controversial play, was when the ball bounced into the air in front of the net and Killer headed it like Lionel Messi or Christian Renaldo, but the goal was called off, due to it being directed in with the head, see rule 78.4 in the NHL rule book. The ref made the correct call.

Another controversial play was Soupy having the ball in the crook of his elbow and taking several steps and then scoring, the goal was called a good goal and the reason given, was because the ref thought it was just caught up in his equipment.  The league will discipline the ref for an incorrect call.  “It’s not like I took 7-8 steps, I took three steps to try to dislodge it”, stated the accused Soupy, in the end it did not really matter as the Snowpants team won the second game 7-6 after losing the first game 7-4.

Ref Stevo calls it a goal after Soupy had carried the ball in the crook of his elbow for three steps …”after further review the ball was never covered …we have a good goal!”

Impressive play by the White Feathered Liberaces with the crisp Tick Tack Toe passing.  Nice to see hockey like that, fans love it and TSN can show it in their highlight reel.

Tick…(also known as Sunny) was part of the Tick Tack Toe passing with Soupy and La Bamba

NO Hockey next week as it is Halloween, go out with your kid or stay at home and hand out the chocolate bars that you don’t like and keep the ones you do love.  I am a Crispy Crunch and Coffee Crispy guy with a close third to M and M Peanuts.

Hockey had a softer tone this week with Stevo reffing, it did not seem to intensify until midway through the second period of the first game and then pretty much through out the second game, but it was good hockey and fun for everyone, with the teams splitting the night and then after, WHAT? Beers on stage with laughter and smiles all around, that is what everyone should be looking forward to instead of checking to see if the Montreal Canadians (who are desperately looking for scoring ) are calling you up.

Ask yourself. as a Tomcat, Which quote should I live by on the Kapusta Kow Floor?

“After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases” Mickey Mantle  or

“After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases and taunting the pitcher,   I knew the pitcher felt bad  but showing him up rounding the bases would make me feel better but if I struck out I would blame my fellow teammates because it was a crap team and I would throw my bat and be ornery for the night ”

There is a saying by an unknown author ‘ Good players inspire themselves, great players inspire others’.

FROM MSN COMES THIS

While at her own mother’s funeral, a woman meets a guy she doesn’t know. She thinks this guy is amazing — her dream man — and is pretty sure he could be the love of her life.

However, she never asked for his name or number and afterwards could not find anyone who knows who he was.

A few days later the girl kills her own sister.

Question: Why did she do it?  Answer: Read on !

If you can’t make a night of Hockey, please let Rocky know.  Also, please respond to Sunny in regards to the December 1 Christmas Party. Sunny, Chevy and Snowpants do a great job organizing the even, they do it for YOU, so show a bit of love and respond and attend.  Be a Tomcat Brother. It’s a Christmas Party for Goodness sake!

Once again, no hockey next week, October 31 is Halloween, so there is no hockey.

Also Remember, “Sports do not build character, they reveal it”, Heywood Brown said that.

Remember the question about the sister killing her sister, well the answer is…The girl kills her sister in the hopes that the guy will come to the funeral and she can see him again

Did you get the answer right? If so, you allegedly have the mind of a psychopath.

While you are thinking to yourself, ‘Geeze Louise, I got the answer to that, I’m a Psychopath’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Snowpants (24), Chevy (12) and Spinner (12 – from last week), El Chopo (6 – Fine for hacking Hollywood)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, Chico and The Terror

Starting Line Up:  Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, LaBamba, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tunes, Tonto, Sunny, Sparky, Spinner, May Day, Hollywood

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, The Turk

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Sheepdog, Chevy, Hurricane, Cribzie, Doc, El Chopo, Slim Jim, Bulldog

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  No mini…just two teams

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge again. 

President’s Update – As the President, I fielded several calls/texts from players mentioning concerns after last Tuesday.  In addition, I reached out others for more perspective and was able to confirm the concerns.  It is my understanding that play got a little over the top, either physically or certain players were getting too serious/emotional.  To address this immediately before it escalates, I will have a referee in attendance this Tuesday.  All questionable play and/or conduct will be called and, if warranted, suspensions will be dolled out.  The referee’s call will be respected by all…no exceptions!

Tomcat Hockey is about having fun with a bunch of great guys.  If anyone is playing as if scouts are watching, and decides winning is more important than having a good time, action will be taken.  Plain and simple…come out for a good workout, fun and a few beers…if you want more than that, find another hockey club.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Rake (24), Spinner (12)

Between the Pipes: Hollywood and The Falcon

Starting Line Up:  Chevy, Doc, Soupy, Snowpants, El-Chopo, Matador, Bulldog, The Turk, LaBamba, Slim Jim, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tunes, Tonto

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Sunny, Sparky, Hurricane, The Terror, Sheepdog, Chico, Spinner, May Day, Cribzie

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  TBD

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge again.  He will decide on the captains for the mini.

The press was not allowed into the Kapusta to cover week 4 of the 2017/2018 season.  Approximately at 4:30pm EST the Tomcats Media Relations group issued a press release stating no media credentials will be granted nor accepted for this evening’s game.  This has been confirmed by Harry Ballsonue, Howie Feltersnatch, and Dick Fitzwell.

According to later inquiries, it was noted that with all the media coverage related to National Anthem protests, the Tomcats feel it is best to not add fuel to flame by allowing the media to cover who stands and who kneels.  When contacted for further comment, President Rocky Comartin had this to say…”While the Tomcats realize it is everyone’s choice to decide on how they honor or protest the national anthem, we believe the Tomcats, as an organization, should honor the anthem each and every time it is played by standing and removing any headwear.  However, in light of recent media attention given to the protests, we decided the best way to remove any focus on the protests, we would not allow media coverage.  Hopefully this places emphasis on the team and the sport being played, and not the protests which have nothing to do with Ball Hockey.  Thank you for your understanding.  Tomcats Forever!”

So without knowing what actually happened in last nights events, we can share one tidbit of news.  The Annual Tomcat Christmas Party is being scheduled for Friday December 1 at Rock bottoms.  The Tomcats are hoping for a crowd of 40 including players, alumni and significant others.  If you have never attended before, it is a must for every Tomcat.  Please clear your calendar and let Snowpants, Sunny and Chevy know you will be there.  More details to follow.

Anonymous  Press

Bringers of the Bottles:   Killer (24), Matador (12)

Between the Pipes: The Terror, Chico and Skippy

Starting Line Up:  Chevy, Doc, Soupy, Sunny, Snowpants, El-Chopo, Spinner, Sparky, Matador, Hurricane, Bulldog, The Turk, LaBamba, Cribzie, Doc’s Friend, Killer

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, Tonto

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Falcon, Sheepdog, Mayday, Rake, Beep, Tunes

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  TBD

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge.  He will decide on the captains for the mini.

By Harry Ballsonue

“One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.”
Knute Rockne

Teams:
Hollywood Hookers – Sparky, Tonto, Doc, Beep, Stevo, Tunzie, Snowpants an Hollywood
Terror Tramps – Rocky, Spinner, The Turk, May Day Hurricane, Sunny and the Terror
Falcon Floozies – Bulldog, Chevy, Sheepdog, Soupy, Matador, The Rake and the Falcon

It was cooler out, but the hockey was hot inside the Kapusta Kow Palace.  After setting record temperatures in the Kapusta Kow last week, this week the place was tolerable but still warm inside.

“Last week was crazy hot, you could almost see the air, it was so hot,” stated Sparky. This week the hockey was good with the Hollywood Hookers taking the mini.  Matador and Chevy both ended up with broken sticks, frustration sets in, they will not be called up to the NHL team and now they know it, maybe they will play for fun and enjoy a beer after hockey.  Sadness sets in until the beer cooler gets opened.  Hurricane made the nicest pass of the year, feathering one over to Spinner who was in full stride, but the Falcon stood tall and made the save…but the pass was very good. Now that’s Tomcat hockey.

Snowpants was like a dog on a bone out there, tenacious as always, no wonder he is a fan favourite.  More Snowpants jerseys sell than any other Tomcat Jersey.  If you are keeping stats, Snowpants has now been a winner in the first three mini’s of the year.

I think it must of been the heat (hot in the press box, heat rises) I forgot to mention last week, that it was great to see Hurricane and The Turk back in the line up after off season surgeries.  Also fantastic to see May Day out there patrolling the blue line and not just playing in the tournament, the young kids can learn a great deal by watching the wily veteran. May Day scored a beauty goal, top shelf, where Baba keeps the Sherry.

This week, May Day, Hurricane and The Turk were all on the same team.

84 years of Tomcat experience …you gotta love it! The Turk , May Day and Hurricane

A quote from Bulldog:  “as the locker room gets older, the sight of more braces, the aroma of Ben Gay and A535, and the guys are looking forward to the bevies after, more than the playing of hockey!”  Love that quote.

“The balls were kept on ice, but it makes the balls too hard…I would hate to see someone get a hard ball like that off the cheek bone,” stated Stevo.  He added, “Everyone gets the same disadvantage with a sticky ball, I would rather lose a ball off a stick then lose an eye,”  concluded Stevo.

The Tomcat Corps  of Engineers were busy after hockey putting heavy duty casters on the Tomcat Table. Great job guys.

Tomcat tabled has casters ….the core of Tomcat Engineers …The Rake,Doc and Soupy did a great job ! As Sparky looks on to make sure the job is done properly

One of the legs was lose …the boys to quick action …Sheep Dog however …was thinking “hmmmm if this was in July or August …I would be off “

Reminder…if you cannot make it to hockey please let Rocky know.

While you are thinking, “hey that looks like a City of Windsor Job, one guy working and 5 guys watching,” do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

And now….in golf news…..

By Dick Fitzwell

The Gordon’s Gin league was back in action on September 25^th at Belle View. It took 54 holes and play continuing well into darkness before Stevo eagled the 54^th hole played to edge Mayday by a stroke.

It was crazy. If Stevo got a par, May Day got a par. If Stevo got a birdie, May Day got a Birdie. If Stevo got an 8, May Day got an 8. May Day did not have an answer for Stevo’s eagle and finished the day with a minus 15, one shot back of Stevo’s minus 16.

In breaking news, White House officials were on hand at Belle View Golf course on September 25, 2017 to invite the Gordon’s Gin Golf League to the White House to meet the President. The visit will take place on the same day as the Pittsburgh Penguins will be attending the With House with the Stanley Cup.

“This is a great honor. I’m also an American citizen and to meet the president, I have to say I’m speechless”, said Stevo. “I’m from Buffalo and when I am in the USA, I always consider myself an American”.

May Day is also looking forward to the visit said, “Pretty cool.” I would love to meet Rex Tillerson. Why? Because he has a cool name. I like the name Rex”.

Gordon’s Gin league players will be undergoing very extensive security clearance in advance of the White House visit.

It is rumoured the President will be presented with various golf memorabilia during the visit. “We have a lot in common”, said Stevo. “I like golf. The President likes golf. But he gets to ride his golf cart on the greens”.

League play continues this Thursday October 5, 2017. Look for the e-mail.

Stevo and May Day above standing for the Canadian, American and Ukrainian National Anthems.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Hollywood (24), Kamikaze (12)

Between the Pipes: Falcon, Hollywood and The Terror

Starting Line Up:  Rocky, Stevo, Chevy, Rake, Doc, Soupy, Sunny, Snowpants, El-Chopo, Tunes, Spinner, Beep, Sparky, Matador, Mayday, Hurricane, Bulldog, The Turk, Moose

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Skippy, Kamikaze, Killer, Sheepdog, Chico, LaBamba, Cribzie

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle, Doc’s buddy

Captains if there is a Mini:  TBD

6:30 pm start.  Will be another warm night but not as bad as last week.  Hopefully 3 goalies this time.  Almost too many guys at this time.  Unless many drop, we are having a mini.

By Harry Ballsonue

“Golden State Warriors not going to White House?  Trump invites WINDSOR Tomcats instead.”
May Day

Teams

Hurricane Hellcats – Hurricane, Chico, Falcon, Sunny, El Chappo, Spinner, The Rake, Kamikaze, Killer
Stevo Stampeders – Stevo, Chico, Falcon, Beep, Rocky, Cribzie, Tonto, Doc and May Day
Sparky Super Sonics – Sparky, Chico, Falcon, Soupy, Chevy, Snowpants, The Turk, Sheep Dog,

Another Hot night in the City and in the Kapusta Kow Palace. “Where is the button for the Air Condoning,” asked the Falcon.  Great question.  This was the hottest night in Tomcat history, the temperature gauge came in at 43 C.  Interestingly enough, in Green Bay this past Sunday, the temperature at game time was 90 F., the hottest recorded temperature ever for a Green Bay Packers game, and here the Tomcats registered a 43 C.

It was so friggin’ hot last night, even the balls needed to be placed on ice between games just so they wouldn’t stick to the floor!

Hockey was very good, and the Sparky Super Sonics took the night.  Congrats to Sparky for selecting such a stellar team.  El Choppo, missed last week and on his very own volition, brought a 24 pack of beer and he is not even a drinker, put her there El Choppo, you are a Tomcat.

New recruit, Tonto played last night and did not disappoint.  Selected in the 2015 draft, 28th overall, “I really found the action fast, no time to really think out there,” stated Tonto.

Back on the stage, The Tomcats welcomed Tonto and sang “Tomcats Forever”, smiles everywhere.

Big news comes from the Falcon who got engaged on the weekend (Friday) while in Chicago.  “She is a great person, I could not stand not being married to her any longer, now we need to find a house and I can’t wait to be married to her,” stated a beaming Falcon.

Don’t forget to pay your $50 if you have not already done so.  A beautiful hoodie awaits.

All Tomcats will always stand for the National Anthem.  God Bless America, God Bless the Tomcats.  While you are thinking why not “God Bless Canada,” do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.