Windsor Tomcats

Bringers of the Bottles:   Sunny (24), Falcon (12)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, Scuz and ???

Starting Line Up:  Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, Tonto, Sunny, Chevy, Doc, Slim Jim, Stevo, Bulldog, Tunes, El Chopo, LaBamba, Killer, Rake, Beep, Helios, Solstice (Sunny’s boys), The Homeless Guy, The Turk

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Spinner, Hurricane, May Day

Healthy Scratches: Hollywood, Cribzie, Sparky, Chico, Kamikaze, Sheepdog, The Terror

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  Stevo is in charge…Mini as of now…let’s see what cancellations occur.

REMINDER:  Bring your money for the Tomcat Christmas party to give to Sunny

By Harry Ballsonue

Teams:

Matador Lebanese Freedom Fighters: Matador, Captain, Skull, Cribzie, El Chippo, Falcon, Doc, Bulldog and Tunzie

Chico Cavaliers: Chico, Captain, The Terror, Chevy, Snowpants, Soupy, Sparky, Kamikaze and Stevo

Good Action on the Kapusta Kow Floor, Tuesday night, the Matador Lebanese Freedom Fighters took the night 8-5 and then 8-6.

“It was an honour playing for the Lebanese Freedom Fighters and for my captain, The Matador”…Tunzie.

“It’s a great thrill playing for the team i grew up cheering on…the Windsor Tomcats” said The Terror, wearing the latest Tomcat swag.

“I played 3 years in the Bosnian league,” said Kamikaze

Sunny sent out an email to everyone about the Christmas Party, please note what he wrote:

Fellow Tomcats,

The Tomcat Christmas Party has been set for Friday December 1 at Rock Bottom. Start time for the event will be at 8pm and 1 round of appetizers will come out at 9pm.

 The cost will be $10 per person and spouses and significant others are welcome to attend. There will be no cost to anyone who is vegetarian, vegan or adhering to a diet that restricts then from eating anything ordered.If you have not already reached out to me with your availability please do so within the next week. 

I WOULD LIKE TO COLLECT MONEY FROM ALL THOSE ATTENDING DURING THE NEXT TWO TUESDAYS (NOV 21 & 28) AT HOCKEY. PLEASE HAVE YOUR PAYMENT READY OR ARRANGE TO GET IT THERE IF YOU CAN’T MAKE IT TO HOCKEY.

Thanks,

Ministers of the Christmas Party
Chevy, Snowpants and Sunny

Funny moment on the Cavaliers bench, when Nick Names were discussed, some of the Cavaliers were saying I will play with Mathews, and I will be Mitch Marner and I will play with Zach Hyman and Chico said, “I want that nick name, Hyman, can you imagine, Hi dear, my nick name is no longer Chico it’s now Hyman.”  The full bench had a good chuckle on that one.

And speaking of Nicknames…..Also discussed was where was the Homeless Guy, he never showed up to play, thus, the discussion about his nick name and that it really should be, ‘The Homeless Guy’, by a vote of 21 to 1 it was decided to change his name from Tonto to The Homeless Guy (see always show up, or your nick name might get changed).

Tomcat Golf Banquet is Wednesday night at the Rock Bottom.  You had to have played at least one round to qualify to attend the banquet. “We should have a pretty good crowd out for the Banquet”, stated Golf Commissioner and Golf Banquet Organizer, May Day. I won’t be covering the event, but I know a follow colleague of mine Dick Fitzwell.

Tomcats always want to teach….a poem about a ship.

Something to consider…Tomcats always bringing your attention to….something!

What do they call Royale with Cheese in Paris?

While you are thinking of the Homeless Guy not being there and having his name changed and the Royale with Cheese, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Tomcats (24), Chico (12)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, The Terror and Chico

Starting Line Up:  Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, Tonto, Sunny, Sparky, Chevy, Cribzie, Doc, Slim Jim, Stevo, Kamikaze, Bulldog, Tunes, El Chopo, Scuz

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, The Turk, Spinner, Hurricane, May Day

Healthy Scratches: LaBamba, Hollywood, Sheepdog, Killer, Rake, Beep

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  Sparky is in charge…Mini as of now…let’s see what cancellations occur.

IMPORTANT: I have reviewed the season to date and noted for the 4 ‘Mini Tournaments’ played to date there have been no 1-2-3 star selections. I want to correct that with my picks from last nights action. 3rd Star – Matador (He’s awarded the 3rd star after exploding for a hat trick in on of the games on the night. More on the goalie who was victimized later…), 2nd Star – Soupy (By far the heart and sole of Kamikaze’s team, the likable superstar had some nifty highlight reel goals), and 1st Star Sunny (OMG – Best goal I think I’ve ever seen scored. Sunny undressed at least 3 defenders with a S-W-E-E-T spin move ‘ala Spinner’ and parked his shot glove hand side high. I’ve been watching the replay over and over).

IMPOTENT: Poor Skippy. He cements his first ever shut out on the first game of the night, and keeps the play up with another solid game losing 2-1. In all, he accounted for just over 16 minutes of shut out hockey. Even veteran the Rake tipped his hat and wondered aloud, ‘How long can Skippy’s luck hold?’. Turns out till the fatal 3rd game – where he was absolutely eviscerated 8-1. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? How do you go from playing 2 full games of near shut out hockey to being the victim of setting a new high scoring record for another team?. When asked veteran goalie Coach /player Sealion replied, ‘The lad’s still finding his form and just hasn’t been able to close it out lately. Thankfully he was able to follow up being thrashed with a decent game and closed the night on a win. The Tomcats signing of Terror and Chico gives us a great deal of flexibility and depth in net’.

IMPORTANT: Have you replied to Snowpants, Sunny or Chevy about coming out to the annual Christmas Tomcats Party at the Rock Bottom on December 1st, 2017? Will you be bringing the lovely other half? Are you going to try and match Snowpants famed tight/shiny leather pants? when pressed about fashion, Snowpants had this to say, ‘I think the next Tomcats piece of clothing needs to be a nice smoking jacket ‘a la Hugh Hefner’ with the logo on the left chest. That way after a long game I could just slip that bad boy on, grab a cold one and chill’.

IMPORTANT: The games last night were mostly (Save that 3 rd game of a 8-1 score) tightly contested and hockey was great. There were times however some ‘chippyness’ crept in and may have caused veteran player Hollywood a potential fine. During the closing seconds of a game Hollywood and Doc had a small dust up in the corner which resulted in Hollywood throwing his stick and smashing same on the nearby boards. Past incidents of a similar nature have resulted in ‘beverage’ fines. This will definitely be an interesting story to follow as Rocky was not in attendance and named Hollywood as being ‘in charge’.

Impotent: Did you know ‘Dr. Google’ claims 18 Million U.S men suffer from erectile dysfunction? Whilst your thinking ‘Tomcats are manly men and have no issues with their sticks’, I noticed Yuri HANDZONMECAC.

For the record Doc’s team (Black) took the Mini.

Yurri

Bringers of the Bottles:   Hurricane/Rocky (24), LaBamba/Cribzie (12)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, The Terror and Skippy (Chico will play out)

Starting Line Up:  Chico, Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tonto, Sunny, Sparky, May Day, Hollywood, Chevy, Cribzie, Doc, Slim Jim

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, The Turk, Spinner, Hurricane

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Bulldog, LaBamba, Sheepdog, Tunes, El Chopo

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  Mini as of now…let’s see what cancellations occur.

Hopefully no Tomcat lives under a rock and has since seen the several communications that hockey is cancelled this evening so those with children can enjoy Halloween.  If you don’t have children and or your children are older, take the chance to hand out candy to other youngsters.  If you are a scrooge and don’t hand out candy, take the opportunity to watch the World Series.  If you don’t like baseball, take the opportunity to spend time with your significant other.  If you don’t have a significant other, take the opportunity to find a significant other.  If none of the above apply to you, simply take the night to sit on your couch and have a beer and dream about all the fun you will have next week when the Tomcats resume the regular schedule.

I’ve been sitting on this news for a bit; but with the recent no press allowed game and management review of recent ‘rough’ play; I haven’t been able to submit anything.

A close look at the schedule tipped my hand.  The Tomcats have announced that next Tuesday (Hallowe’en), due to numerous players having ‘little Tomcats’ to bring trick or treating, hockey is cancelled.  A rare second cancellation of the night will occur.  Good news about cancellations is a conversation around the ‘beer bringers’ list.  On Hallowe’en, Rocky is slated for a 24 and Cribzie calls for a half case.  Does this mean the following week there will be an excess of bevies flowing?  Yep, these Tomcats will bring their beer in addition to the already scheduled bringers…I know of one thirsty journalist who will be sneaking in….

While your thinking you can’t wait for all the beer on November 7th, I noticed Yuri Handzonmecac!

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

“It is your response to winning and losing that makes you a winner or a loser”
Harry Sheehy

TEAMS

The Hollywood White Feathered Liberaces …Hollywood, Falcon, Kamikaze, La Bamba, Soupy, Sunny and the Rake

The Snowpants Black Leather Cross Dressing Hoovers…Snowpants, The Terror, Spinner, Sparky, Matador, Killer, Chico and Tunzie

So after last week, The Windsor Tomcats management group decided to bring in a referee to watch and monitor the games played. There were no incidents and the Tomcat organization was very happy that they sent a ref to monitor. “We don’t believe we will be using one again, unless more shenanigans rear their ugly head”. stated President Rocky.

Ref Stevo calls off controversial goal scored by Killer when he headed it in like a soccer player. No coaches challenge …”no goal!”

One controversial play, was when the ball bounced into the air in front of the net and Killer headed it like Lionel Messi or Christian Renaldo, but the goal was called off, due to it being directed in with the head, see rule 78.4 in the NHL rule book. The ref made the correct call.

Another controversial play was Soupy having the ball in the crook of his elbow and taking several steps and then scoring, the goal was called a good goal and the reason given, was because the ref thought it was just caught up in his equipment.  The league will discipline the ref for an incorrect call.  “It’s not like I took 7-8 steps, I took three steps to try to dislodge it”, stated the accused Soupy, in the end it did not really matter as the Snowpants team won the second game 7-6 after losing the first game 7-4.

Ref Stevo calls it a goal after Soupy had carried the ball in the crook of his elbow for three steps …”after further review the ball was never covered …we have a good goal!”

Impressive play by the White Feathered Liberaces with the crisp Tick Tack Toe passing.  Nice to see hockey like that, fans love it and TSN can show it in their highlight reel.

Tick…(also known as Sunny) was part of the Tick Tack Toe passing with Soupy and La Bamba

NO Hockey next week as it is Halloween, go out with your kid or stay at home and hand out the chocolate bars that you don’t like and keep the ones you do love.  I am a Crispy Crunch and Coffee Crispy guy with a close third to M and M Peanuts.

Hockey had a softer tone this week with Stevo reffing, it did not seem to intensify until midway through the second period of the first game and then pretty much through out the second game, but it was good hockey and fun for everyone, with the teams splitting the night and then after, WHAT? Beers on stage with laughter and smiles all around, that is what everyone should be looking forward to instead of checking to see if the Montreal Canadians (who are desperately looking for scoring ) are calling you up.

Ask yourself. as a Tomcat, Which quote should I live by on the Kapusta Kow Floor?

“After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases” Mickey Mantle  or

“After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases and taunting the pitcher,   I knew the pitcher felt bad  but showing him up rounding the bases would make me feel better but if I struck out I would blame my fellow teammates because it was a crap team and I would throw my bat and be ornery for the night ”

There is a saying by an unknown author ‘ Good players inspire themselves, great players inspire others’.

FROM MSN COMES THIS

While at her own mother’s funeral, a woman meets a guy she doesn’t know. She thinks this guy is amazing — her dream man — and is pretty sure he could be the love of her life.

However, she never asked for his name or number and afterwards could not find anyone who knows who he was.

A few days later the girl kills her own sister.

Question: Why did she do it?  Answer: Read on !

If you can’t make a night of Hockey, please let Rocky know.  Also, please respond to Sunny in regards to the December 1 Christmas Party. Sunny, Chevy and Snowpants do a great job organizing the even, they do it for YOU, so show a bit of love and respond and attend.  Be a Tomcat Brother. It’s a Christmas Party for Goodness sake!

Once again, no hockey next week, October 31 is Halloween, so there is no hockey.

Also Remember, “Sports do not build character, they reveal it”, Heywood Brown said that.

Remember the question about the sister killing her sister, well the answer is…The girl kills her sister in the hopes that the guy will come to the funeral and she can see him again

Did you get the answer right? If so, you allegedly have the mind of a psychopath.

While you are thinking to yourself, ‘Geeze Louise, I got the answer to that, I’m a Psychopath’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Snowpants (24), Chevy (12) and Spinner (12 – from last week), El Chopo (6 – Fine for hacking Hollywood)

Between the Pipes: The Falcon, Chico and The Terror

Starting Line Up:  Soupy, Snowpants, Matador, LaBamba, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tunes, Tonto, Sunny, Sparky, Spinner, May Day, Hollywood

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, The Turk

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Sheepdog, Chevy, Hurricane, Cribzie, Doc, El Chopo, Slim Jim, Bulldog

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  No mini…just two teams

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge again. 

President’s Update – As the President, I fielded several calls/texts from players mentioning concerns after last Tuesday.  In addition, I reached out others for more perspective and was able to confirm the concerns.  It is my understanding that play got a little over the top, either physically or certain players were getting too serious/emotional.  To address this immediately before it escalates, I will have a referee in attendance this Tuesday.  All questionable play and/or conduct will be called and, if warranted, suspensions will be dolled out.  The referee’s call will be respected by all…no exceptions!

Tomcat Hockey is about having fun with a bunch of great guys.  If anyone is playing as if scouts are watching, and decides winning is more important than having a good time, action will be taken.  Plain and simple…come out for a good workout, fun and a few beers…if you want more than that, find another hockey club.

Bringers of the Bottles:   Rake (24), Spinner (12)

Between the Pipes: Hollywood and The Falcon

Starting Line Up:  Chevy, Doc, Soupy, Snowpants, El-Chopo, Matador, Bulldog, The Turk, LaBamba, Slim Jim, Killer, Rake, Beep, Tunes, Tonto

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Sunny, Sparky, Hurricane, The Terror, Sheepdog, Chico, Spinner, May Day, Cribzie

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  TBD

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge again.  He will decide on the captains for the mini.

The press was not allowed into the Kapusta to cover week 4 of the 2017/2018 season.  Approximately at 4:30pm EST the Tomcats Media Relations group issued a press release stating no media credentials will be granted nor accepted for this evening’s game.  This has been confirmed by Harry Ballsonue, Howie Feltersnatch, and Dick Fitzwell.

According to later inquiries, it was noted that with all the media coverage related to National Anthem protests, the Tomcats feel it is best to not add fuel to flame by allowing the media to cover who stands and who kneels.  When contacted for further comment, President Rocky Comartin had this to say…”While the Tomcats realize it is everyone’s choice to decide on how they honor or protest the national anthem, we believe the Tomcats, as an organization, should honor the anthem each and every time it is played by standing and removing any headwear.  However, in light of recent media attention given to the protests, we decided the best way to remove any focus on the protests, we would not allow media coverage.  Hopefully this places emphasis on the team and the sport being played, and not the protests which have nothing to do with Ball Hockey.  Thank you for your understanding.  Tomcats Forever!”

So without knowing what actually happened in last nights events, we can share one tidbit of news.  The Annual Tomcat Christmas Party is being scheduled for Friday December 1 at Rock bottoms.  The Tomcats are hoping for a crowd of 40 including players, alumni and significant others.  If you have never attended before, it is a must for every Tomcat.  Please clear your calendar and let Snowpants, Sunny and Chevy know you will be there.  More details to follow.

Anonymous  Press

Bringers of the Bottles:   Killer (24), Matador (12)

Between the Pipes: The Terror, Chico and Skippy

Starting Line Up:  Chevy, Doc, Soupy, Sunny, Snowpants, El-Chopo, Spinner, Sparky, Matador, Hurricane, Bulldog, The Turk, LaBamba, Cribzie, Doc’s Friend, Killer

PUP (Physically Unable to Play):  Jingles, Rocky, Stevo, Tonto

Healthy Scratches: Scuz, Falcon, Sheepdog, Mayday, Rake, Beep, Tunes

Sitting in Press Box: N/A

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  Bullwinkle

Captains if there is a Mini:  TBD

6:30 pm start.  Hollywood is in charge.  He will decide on the captains for the mini.