Windsor Tomcats

It is almost here. One more night of Tuesday hockey before the annual Saturday Tournament, AKA Stevo’s Christmas.

The captains are finalizing their shirt designs, Hollywood is preparing the team shirts, Stanley’s Cup is being polished and Chevy has increased his weekly running miles to .2.

As we head into the most fun Saturday of the year, here are things you all must keep in mind:

– If you were drafted, you are expected to be there or you will be fined

– There will be no NHL scouts in attendance – play fair and do not lower yourself into senseless physical play. It is not that important.

– Pay $20 to your captain when you arrive. Pay $10 to Jingles for pizza and drinks afterwards.

– Arrive by 8am. First game starts at 8:30am sharp, regardless of the first two teams have all players there or not. Don’t be a let down.

– We are playing the 2 games against each team format. As such, games are 2 periods long, 8 minute periods. Last minute of each period is stop time.

– 2 minutes between periods and 5 minutes between games. The Refs will set timers and keep us on track

– The Refs – All calls are final. Do not argue. If anyone questions the refs, a board member will step in and decide the outcome. Don’t make us have to do this. The refs are there to help and see the boys. Treat them like a brother.

– Refs can call penalties. Every penalty is 1 minute of short handed play.

– WE CANNOT use the hall downstairs as a Christening gathering is happening between 12-4. We will do pizza and drinks in the gym and stage. This also means others will be in the parking lot. Behave and be respectful.

Looking forward to another great day of Tomcat hockey where no one will ever remember the outcome, but we will all remember the time spent together.

Thanks!

Rocky

Tomcats Forever!

No Tomcat algorithm tonight, and it was apparent in the teams. The Bullwinkle Bullies dominated the action all night. Taking the first game 8-7 and the second 8-4.

Bullwinkle Bullies – Bullwinkle, tonto, green giant, kamikaze, animal, Snowpants, bender in net

Soupy Simps – Chevy, matador, soupy, Cribzie, Chico, killer, shack, falcon in net

Soupy was by far the worst player on the floor, playing like an absolute piece of garbage. Word has it, his wife Serta, having been informed by a fellow tomcat about how bad he played, greeted him when he got home completely nude, and said, “your pathetic ass can look, but you ain’t touchin’ anything tonight!”

Stars of the night Bullwinkle and Tonto, controlled the defensive end, blocking hundreds of shots. Bullwinkle after the game, confronted a weeping Soupy, and said, “Not only did I make you my bitch out there tonight, but Rocky is now considering me as his next Vice President…you can be his fluffer”

The Tomcats learned tonight that Shack goes thru a lot of Cat Litter, nothing more will be said on that subject…

Snowpants was all over the floor, moving around like he was 20 years younger…he claims it is from the work he’s been getting done on his groin to keep it loose. Allegedly he also tried to get a happy ending from his dentist, or physiotherapist, or massage therapist, after hearing the story, I’m not sure which one…

All in all, Great night at the Kapusta, with lots of laughs afterwards!

Just a reminder that the tournament is just over 2 weeks away, February 25 at 830 am SHARP!

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami

Like all years, as we inch closer to the annual tournament, Tuesday nights start getting a little more intense, a little more fast-paced. This year is no different. Two very good teams running hard at each other last night, each team getting a win. The Tomcat Algorithm worked yet again.

Teams:

Stevo Street Fighters – Terror in net, Stevo, Sunny, Rocky, Green Giant, Big Ned, Soupy and Animal

May Day Maulers – Bender in net. May Day, Chico, Bullwinkle, Killer, Matador, Snowpants, Chevy and Shack

Speaking of Shack, the Tomcats have started a “Get Shack and New Backpack” fund to help him replace his daughter’s colorful hand-me-down. The Tomcats are hoping to raise enough to buy a backpack more fitting of someone of Shack’s age and stature.

Next Week – Empty pick up time. Lots of empties in the Tomcat room. Chico has offered to print his truck and load these up to return. Who can come early to help? Be a good Tomcat and help out!

Maybe the pace of hockey was so good last night due to the presence of 3 Greek Gods?

Reminder – Check the beer list and bring your case on your week or beforehand. We had great beer turnout this week where guys caught up on kissed cases. Let’s keep it going!

We’ll talk Hockey in a ‘New York’ minute; but first I gotta ‘tip my hat’ to the Rake; who just after the last buzzer went off showed up with a full King sized pizza for the boys. When asked what the occasion was he replied: ‘I heard no one’s been bringing in snacks – so I went out and got a little something for the boys’. ‘That’ my friends is the ‘true’ Tomcat spirit.

The ‘hockey’ theme of the night was ‘veterans’; that being the Hurricane Howitzers and Stevo’s Stingrays (Still a classic tournament name and ‘beautiful’ logo on the jersey).

Hurricane, Chevy, Cribzie, Green Giant, Sunny, Killer and Chico in net were just toooo much for Stevo, Skippy, Bullwinkle, Tonto, Rocky, Animal and Bender (net) – taking both games.

As the night wore on and it became apparent Hurricane ‘still’ has plenty of gas in the tank and even Bender was heard muttering, ‘Hurricane’s a dangerous guy’.

BTW – Hurricane, knowing he was going to miss his beer week next week, brought his case early. True Tomcat nature right there!!!

I couldn’t help but wonder about the classic White verse Black. Statistically speaking I’d love to see how the ‘win/loss’ column shakes out.

Speaking of ‘win’ – with the tourney mere weeks away let me give my prediction:

Animal’s team (Name not yet revealed) takes it all. ‘Yes’ – you heard it here first; looking at the teams I feel Animal’s picks as a Captain were ‘solid’ and he’ll hoist the ‘Stanley’s Cup’; which just recently underwent a slight transformation. I hoisted the thing and I can assure you this year’s winning team will be shocked at the weight. With the added ‘ring’ the beauty now probably clocks in at around 8 pounds…

Pizza, comradery and beer – what better way to spend a Tuesday; which is why the Tomcats will indeed be playing come Valentines Day in February.

Rocky wants to remind everyone to check their ‘beer night’ (Posted on the blog page)

Till I can sneak in again to cover these amazing athletes…

Ben Heir O’er

Another great Tuesday evening of hockey at the Kapusta. After a few cancellations, a solid 2-team night was had.

Rocky’s Black Stallions – Bender in net, Tonto, Noah, Rocky, Animal, May Day, Jingles and Stevo

Chevy’s White Arabians – Terror in net, Bullwinkle, Chevy, Snowpants, Green Giant, Kamikaze and Hurricane

In the first game, the Arabians took an early lead but the Stallions played a great second period to first tie the game a 4-4, the get the desiring goal with only a few seconds to spare.

In the second game, the Arabians again jumped out to an early 3-1 lead. While the Stallions tried another comeback, the Arabians were simply too much and easily took the second game.

DRAFT:

The 2023 draft was held after hockey. A late change in captains occurred during the day and Green Giant stood up to take on the role. The Captains are Big Easy, Animal, Hatchie and Green Giant.

Draft order was determined with Green Giant getting the first pick, followed by Hatchie, Animal and finally Big Easy. The results of the draft are listed here:

Green Giants, wearing orange or green: Green Giant, Sunny, Cribzie, Chico in net, Tweetie Bird, Shack, LaBamba and Killer

Hatchies, wearing red: Hatchie, Tonto, Big Ned, Terror in net, Bullwinkle, Lovie’ May Day and Stevo

The Animals, wearing white: Animal, Rocky, Chevy, Falcon in net, Snowpants, Kamikaze and Matador

The Big Easy’s, wearing black: Big Easy, Schooley, Soupy, Bender in Net, Jingles, The Eagle and the Lizard.

Captains are working on team names and will need short sizes. Let your captain know your size.

About one month until the Tournament. We start promptly at 8:30am on February 25th. Big Easy will face Animal in first game. This year, we have the “play each team twice” format back, so shorter but more games. Get ready!

Reminder – Check the beer list and bring your beer on your night or bring early if you plan to miss.

Tomcats forever!

The first night of 2023 was a beauty! With almost 2 full teams. The guys were shaking hands and high 5ing, happy to see each other after the Christmas break. No Tomcat algorithm tonight, as the teams were made old school by Tonto and Matador.

Matador Moussaka’s – Matador, Killer, Chevy, Hurricane, Cribzie, Bullwinkle, Shack, Chico, Bender

Snowpants Souvlaki’s – Snowpants, Soupy, Tonto, Skippy, Kamikaze, Animal, Big Ned, Terror

After seeing the first game end in a score of 4-1 for the Moussaka’s, the teams looked a little lopsided. They dominated the play, Matador looked like a young Mario Lemieux, and Killer took out 3 players ankles with his stick, (just a normal night).
But In the second, with a slight line up adjustment, the Souvlaki’s came out firing! They took the second game 9-7.

Highlights of the night were fan favourite Cribzie sniping 3 goals from the point. The guy is an absolute Man Missile, on and off the floor. A silver fox, unreal hockey skills, and a massive wrench, some guys just have it all!

In an interview after the game 2 victory, Soupy was asked about his potential “Goal of the year”, being the team guy that he is, he responded in a very Connor Bedard fashion…”I don’t wanna talk about me right now, I don’t wanna talk about how I put this team on my back in game 2 and led us to victory…it’s about this group of guys, it’s not about my 5 goals and 3 assists in game 2, or the defensive plays I made…it’s about being around these guys, it’s not about the coaching adjustment I made to win the second game, I don’t wanna talk about that…not Me scoring the greatest goal ever seen in the Kapusta Kow…but these guys…” just a true professional…

Also, Soupy has been fined a 12 pack for taunting the opposing teams bench. After scoring a highlight reel goal, he went by the Moussaka’s bench, bitch slapped each player and allegedly told Shack “Who’s the best Greek out here?” To which Shack weepingly replied, “you are”. He will gladly pay the fine for his unsportsmanlike actions…

Notable absent from hockey was franchise player Sunny Solaris. Apparently he is working on his tan on the beaches of Mexico, as evidenced by all the half naked selfies being posted to his Instagram stories! I encourage all tomcats to check that out.

Shout out to everyone for helping set up and tear down last night. Rumour has it Terror was there at 545, stretching, setting up, and mentally preparing for the nights action.

Draft for the tournament will go next week after hockey. Who will be the 1st overall pick???

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami

Three wise men came to gather in the Tomcat hall; they were once young, and now wise with experience love to reminisce about their glory days’.

Glory days and probably ‘many’ a story were told; as well as recollections from memory (Verse written historical archives; of which the Tomcat organization under the fearless leadership of ‘Jawz’ has done.  Side note on the nickname; which I think in retrospect needed to come out MUCH earlier and stuck – verse ‘Stevo’ – maybe the only Tomcat historical miss?…..).  

The Jeopardy question late into the ‘Year’ end Christmas Tomcat celebration…’Who has the MOST Stanley’s Cup Rings’?.  Whispers are… The Bulldog (I think I heard 8?), but how would one know?  The answer is simple.  Some time back Stevo had made a beauuutiful booklet  featuring ALL Tomcats (Young and now ‘wise’) which also captured the ‘early’ history of the group and those fearless trendsetters whom captured the ‘first’ (Of many for some) ‘Stanley’s Cup Rings’.  If you don’t have a copy; or lost yours – fear not; I heard it may be likely we’ll see that masterpiece somehow ‘added’ to the website…Time will tell if the idea does come to fruition.  

Why am I talking about ‘Wise men’?  Well – as players gathered after a very-VERY-great mini (Count 4 – YES 4, and I may have even missed one SHUTOUTS by Goaltenders).  Leading the way was Bender, selected by the ‘4th’ ‘Wiseman’ Snowpants; whom unlike the dreaded ‘algorithm’ selected a stellar cast of superstars like Cribzie, Stevo, Chevy and Bullwinkle (A.K.A Shredder).  The Snowpants ‘Snowstorm’ really shut down offence and scored ‘just’ enough goals (Scoring all tournament was hard to come by)  to come out victorious; and Bender recorded 3 STRAIGHT SHUTOUTS!!.  

The Chico ‘Comets’ backed by Terror (Whom had at least 1 shutout) and Rocky, Jingles, Tonto, Hatchie and Killer proved just as effective in shutting down opponents and only by ‘plus/minus’ goals’ were unable to catch the Snowstorm.  Rounding out the ‘mini’ was Animals ‘Avalanche’ with Falcon, Shack, Hurricane, Skippy and Junior.  ‘Yes’ Junior graced the annual XMas year end gathering and actually didn’t (Despite ‘some’ time away) look out of place.  Regrettably Animals crew was unable to notch a single goal; and while that may seem ‘bad’; the group did NOT get outplayed.  Shack would later mutter; “We spent the games wondering whom wanted to score’; while Falcon ‘just’ missed out on recording his own shutout.

Pizza, drinks, comradery, stories and ‘jokes’ (My favorite – Rocky noting Stevo, Sealion and Turk were all sitting together stated; ‘I got to get a picture of these legends’; only to note Shack was in the frame; to which someone quickly yelled out – ‘Just crop him from the frame’).

Good times made even more merrier with players like the Sealion, Turk, Tunzie and Hollywood coming out just for the after hockey festivities. Props as well to Tunzie and Seaion for bringing their ‘plus one’; which consisted of a full case each of beer! THAT – is the Tomcat spirit in FULL display.

Speaking of ‘spirits’ (NOT the ghost of Christmas past kinda sense); but after ‘some’ time off it appears Junior ‘forgot’ the rule about (ALLEGEDLY) throwing his stick.  Even SeaLion couldn’t believe it; stating, “I’m sure Junior’s stick was grabbed by some overzealous fan’.  Word has it Junior’s fine will be a case.  When asked about it later Junior remarked, “I just think Stevo was trying to pad the beer supplies’.

SOOO – hockey has now ‘ended’ for 2022; BUT will return after a ‘short’ 2 week break.  During that time, enjoy the holiday season (Merry Xmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah, Las Posadas, Diwali and Chinese New Year).  May ‘Santa’ bring you the coveted ‘Rake’s Be A Better D-Man’ or Chevy’s ‘Chilling point shot’ videos – enjoy ‘MANY’ a beverage hoisted with family; and feel free to ‘overindulge’ in all the holiday ‘eating’; cause come 2023 you CAN return to Tomcat hockey to ‘work’ it all off.

 I’m feeling the XMas spirit and will end this article with ‘famous’ ‘Home Alone’ Movie quote:  ‘Have a Merry Christmas – you filthy animals’ 

Yurri

As if the Tomcat holiday year-end events weren’t enough, many Tomcats also took part in the Dirty Growler Golf League season wrap up party.

Literally…lights out. An unnamed Tomcat tried to play with the breaker panel just before hockey started, so the first 5 minutes of game 1 was played without full overhead lighting.

In the end, Hurricanes Hemis wished the lights stayed off so no one would witness their 5-0 loss to the Chevy Corvettes.

Teams:

Hemis – Chico in net, Hurricane, Shack, Rocky, Snowpants, Animal and Soupy

Corvettes – Bender in net, Tonto, Kamikaze, Bullwinkle, Jingles, Matador, Killer and Chevy

The Tomcat Algorithm allowed a 5-0 game you ask? Well, the Algorithm was set, but at the insistence of the Corvettes, who claimed they had too many forwards, a trade was made leading to the teams listed above, and an imbalance in the first game. Rocky was quoted saying, “We will not change teams going forward if teams whine and complain. If they don’t like it, they can develop their own algorithm and run the show each week.”

Game 2 started off with the Hemis getting an early 3-0 lead, but the Corvettes came speeding back to tie it at 3-3 at the end of regulation. Two 1 minute overtime periods were played and with 1 second left in the second OT period, Hurricane, who turned 65 yesterday, scored the winning goal for the Hemis! Storybook ending for the Hurricane.

Shout out to Sparky though while on IR with a lower body injury, showed up with his case (only needed to bring a half but brought a full). What a Tomcat.

Next week: Last night of hockey in 2022. Pizza and drinks downstairs afterwards. $5 for hockey, $10 for pizza. Rocky will send an email shortly and needs responses of who is in for hockey and/or pizza. Please respond ASAP once that email comes out.

You’ve heard of the Malace at the Palace and the Battle of Alberta. Well now we have the Scuffle at Shotz!

What started out as a great night of laughs and drinks among tomcats and their wives, ended on a sour note with, as expected, the Tomcats coming out victorious. Just to note, no Tomcat was injured, nor did any Tomcat start the fight, we were simply there in a peacekeeping and ass kicking role.
I will not go into the details of the fight, but it was started by a Human Lizard and guy in a Parrot shirt. Tables were flying, glasses broken, and punches thrown.

Tomcat legend Sunny was right in the mix of everything, trying to keep the peace. In the chaos of it all, Sunny’s shirt was ripped from his body, exposing his Greek God physique, which was glistening in the neon lights. The floor was a puddle, not from the spilled drinks, but from the women onlooking Sunny and the other Tomcats.

Snowpants, who right before everything went down, was making great conversation with a Tecumseh Soccer Mom at the bar, came in guns a blazing. He climbed a table and from the top rope jumped on the pile of people with a flying elbow that had the crowd roaring! He was quoted afterwards saying, “I was one shot of tequila away from taking her home, and these motherf$&kers start a brawl! I was taking out anyone I could!” When talking to Snowpants after about how crazy the night was, he proclaimed, “you think this was bad? Try playing hockey against Chevy and Jingles on a Tuesday night!”

The highlight of the night was Soupy, who always has his cousins back, rescued sunny from harm in the Malay. According to Soupy, he took over a dozen punches to the face, an eye gouge and was shived multiple times in the back, however, after the fight, he did not have a scratch on his body. He protected Green Giant from a guy coming at him with broken glass, made sure Kamikaze was miles away from danger, and credited himself with stopping the brawl. He really was the saviour of the night. Not only can he stick handle thru an entire team on Tuesday nights while the rest of his team is wide open, he single handedly took control of the situation last night. He really is future President material.

Kamikaze was a huge help in all of this, as he saved Soupy’s jacket and made sure he had a distant view of all the excitement. He sent in a prepared statement, “As a CEO, my responsibility is to stay as far away from danger as possible. My security team (Green Giant) made sure I was safe so that we can continue to focus on meeting our sales figures. At (business name), we are always committed to ensuring that our team is following our diversity, inclusion, and equity policies as set out in our mission statement.” He also made us all sign NDAs to avoid any future litigation.

There was no sign of Bender while everything was going down, but word is, he was seen walking into the bathroom with an absolute rocket Tomcat Groupie. It must have been his 1970s maroon blazer…

In all seriousness, it was a great night. Everyone got home safe, and has a story to tell. I will never understand the mentality to get into a bar fight, I really hope that the individuals involved last night look in the mirror and learn from this experience; However, given my cynical view of the world, I highly doubt it.

Can’t we all just get along?

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami

I swear I walked in, took a peak at the teams and went: ‘Hmmm: the algorithm just might be off on this one’.

‘Algorithm be damned’ however cause the scrappy Sunny’s Snowmen Featuring Chevy, Animal, Stevo, Big Ned, Skippy and Bender in the pipes came back from a first period 3 goal deficit and squeaked out a 6-5 nail bitter.

Second game, same as the first? Not so much as the speedy Matador’s Mantles with Rocky, Chico, Bullwinkle, Kamikazi, The Green Giant and Terror securing the net blew the game open; which was even more impressive when you consider they lost Rocky to a rogue ball to the face. While Rocky had to leave the game he is expected to make a quick recovery and one player was heard muttering, ‘Well so much for looking good in those upcoming Christmas photos’.

Maybe Rocky going down was an omen, cause during the 2nd game blowout a high rising ball felled Stevo with about 5 minutes left to play. Thankfully with a 8-3 lead the boys decided to call it.

I caught up with Chevy after the game and asked his thoughts; ‘Well they got all the players with speed, and we got all the players with good looks’.

I know there’s been other ‘questionable’ algorithm nights’; but whatever magic is required to make ‘even’ teams seems for the most part to work out.

I expect Rocky will be back next week, but until then while you were wondering if I made team names up with a Christmas theme in mind, I noticed your Handzonmecac.

Yurri

The Kapusta was buzzing last night, with some of the fastest and exciting hockey we’ve seen all year! The games were close, the passes crisp, and the goaltending stellar. Smiles were plentiful last night as all the tomcats had a great evening.

Beep Doggy Style’s – Soupy, Beep, Tonto, Hatchie, Animal, Stevo, Cribzie, Terror in net

Big Ned Missionary’s– Sunny, Rocky, Big Ned, Killer, Bullwinkle, Hurricane, Green Giant, Bender in net

Hatchie made his season debut, and showed no rust at all, he had no problem sitting on the bench waiting for Soupy to finish his 6 minute shift. He also showed up with a case of beer for the boys, what a solid guy!

The first game saw some great passing by the trio of Beep, Soupy, and Tonto, but they could not get the ball past the Dominic Hasek style goaltending of Bender. Kinda like his golf game, he was all over the place. The Doggy Style’s fought hard, but they were no match for the Missionary’s; whose play on the floor fully resembled the sex position they are named after, boring, passionate, and in your face. The Missionary’s took the first game 5-4.

In the second game the Doggy Style’s came out flying, but as expected, could not control the play, and blew their load early. The Missionary’s won 4-2, and would have been a blow out if not for the flashy saves of The Terror. One highlight of game 2 was Stevo turning back the clock and scoring an absolute beauty goal. “All the boys went wild, you would think I was Paul Henderson scoring the big goal in 1972” Stevo said on his first goal of the season.

After hockey, the beers were flowing on stage. Cribzie was invited to sit in “The Greek Section” as an honorary Greek. No comment on what his initiation was…

Plans for the X-mas gathering are still in the works, with a possible venue change. So keep an eye on an email for that. Let Rocky know if you can attend. I hear Soupy and his absolute rocket wife, Natalie will be there, who else would you want to hang out with on a Friday night?

All in all, a solid night of hockey, beers, and laughs. The Tomcat spirit is alive and well!

Just a reminder, Sunny will be collecting for the Movember fundraiser again next week for those who were not there last night. The boys have been very generous thus far in donating to this great cause! You can also send and etransfer to jsalaris@yahoo.ca

And yes, he does still have a Yahoo email address from 2001…

And speaking of Sunny, the man showed up, and without being asked, took initiative and organized the Tomcat room. All Tomcats should aspire to be like this man…within the Kapusta and in the real world. He is a gem!!

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami