Windsor Tomcats

The annual Tomcat Tournament has came and went, and not without some last minute hurdles. A few problems sprung up early when the hall was opened up to find the baseball batting cages still occupying the Kapusta floor. The arena facilities team quickly sprung into action to disassemble and clear the floor. Hall management assured the Tomcats that equipment would be cleared…first failure. With the the help of many Tomcats, games were started by 8:40am. But then, midway through the first game the baseball group showed up and asked what we were doing. They too had the hall booked for this Saturday. Stevo was quick to point out the Tomcats have had this hall on the last Saturday of February for 32 years now. After a few frantic phone calls, hall management confirmed the Tomcats had the hall, so the baseball group had to forego their plans…failure number two. Rocky assures everyone he confirmed usage of the hall for this day back in September of 2022 when the season began.

And speaking of the last Saturday in February…since last year the Tomcats held the tournament in April to end the season (due to a late start season coming out of COVID, and since there was no tournament at all in 2021 due to COVID, yesterday marked 1092 days since Tomcats played on the last Saturday of February…it is good to be back!

Making this day happen, Tomcat Management would like to thank a few folks who did their part to make the day a success:

• Soupy and Kamikaze for organizing the entire tournament…sometimes it is like herding cats
• The Captains – Big Easy, Animal, Green Giant and Hatchie for paying for great shirts, great team names, great logos, etc.
• Refs – The Rake and Doc for volunteering their time and having to listen to many Tomcats bitch and moan
• Hollywood for handling team shirts and the overall Tomcat shirt for this year…always helping even though no longer playing
• Jingles for getting the pizza coordinated and paid for

Also, a solid by Lovie and Tweety…both guys missed last year’s tournament after committing and came this year with their case of beer fines in tow…that is how real Tomcats make up for misses!

So now to the hockey…

Four really stacked teams all sporting world-beating goal tending. This was the deepest teams ever in a Tomcat tournament. Also, the Tomcats reverted to a once-previously-used format where each team plays every other team twice, meaning shorter and more games. This made for quick, and very intense games. A few times there were shouts to “play the ball,” and only a couple of minor incidents that had to be dealt with. There was stick broken at one point but the player, who normally is as cool as the guy from the Dos Equis commercials, will remain only known to those in attendance. He apologizing profusely afterwards.

After all 12 (well 11.5) games were played (last game did not really matter and The Terror was hit and was down for a few minutes, so it was better to call the game after the first period), the two teams that stood tall and went into the Championship were Green Giants Stalkers and Animals Rangers.

In the regular game play, each team had a victory over the other. However, the Green Giant talkers were ultimately too much for the Rangers, and after it was all said and done, the Stalkers took home Stanley’s Cup.

The End of an Era

In what was Stevo’s final tournament, as he had previously announced his retirement at the end of the 2022-2023 season, the Tomcats used this day to honour him and his undying love and support for Tomcat Nation. He started it all, he kept it going, and to this day, he still is the driving force behind the Tomcat. “He is the glue, he is the heartbeat, he is the life blood of the Tomcats and the reason we are all hear, and still together since 1989,” said Rocky as he presented Stevo with a gift…a custom Tomcat wall sign and one-of-one matching shirt. Stevo was also awarded the MVP in his final tournament, as he is the Tomcat’s Most Valuable Person of all time.

After an emotional speech by Stevo, Tomcats Forever was sung to honor the moment. A banner raising will be held in the fall to put a final marker on Stevo’s storied career.

Honorable mention for MVP goes out to Sunny for playing like he was 15 years younger and putting on a clinic of passing, shooting and hockey sense all tournament long. Also, the Most Gentleman award was given to Tonto for always playing fair, always smiling, and always being a great team mate!

Great day in Tomcat Nation!

REMINDER – No hockey this Tuesday. We will resume Tuesday night hockey on March 7th

In the final game before the annual tournament, games were fast, furious and felt a little “tournament-ish” in terms of intensity. Teams were selected by Matador and Tonto, and resulted in a clear delineation based on size. The 6 Foot & Overs and the 6 Foot and Unders. If you didn’t play, measure your height and decide which team you would have been on.

Jingles Giants: Jingles, Chevy, Green Giant, Animal, Bullwinkle, Chico, Stevo and Terror (okay, one guy under 6 feet)

Matador’s Minis: Matador, Tonto, Kamikaze, Killer, Rocky, Noah and Bender (okay, maybe one guy slightly over 6 feet)

The Minis had a tough time passing through the middle all evening since the Giants all have giant sticks and could intercept any pass. Despite sending the ball to the net 47 times in game one, the Minis fell to the Giants.

Speaking of getting hot, Terror stood on his head all evening, making it tough for the Minis to light the lamp. Also getting hot, Matador lit the lamp almost exclusively for the Minis. Teams sporting Terror and Matador this weekend should have a leg up.

In the second game, despite being down early and often to the Giants, the Minis made an improbable come back to win by 1 after a flurry of goals in the final 3 minutes to erase a 3 goal deficit and come out victorious. Who says size matters??

And speaking of heating up:

Reminder: 8am start this Saturday. Do not be late. Lots of games to be played. $20 to your captain for tournament fees and ***CHANGE ->10 to captain for pizza. The captains will then give Rocky the tournament fees once all collected, and Jingles the pizza fees once all collected.

See you Saturday for Stevo Christmas!

It is almost here. One more night of Tuesday hockey before the annual Saturday Tournament, AKA Stevo’s Christmas.

The captains are finalizing their shirt designs, Hollywood is preparing the team shirts, Stanley’s Cup is being polished and Chevy has increased his weekly running miles to .2.

As we head into the most fun Saturday of the year, here are things you all must keep in mind:

– If you were drafted, you are expected to be there or you will be fined

– There will be no NHL scouts in attendance – play fair and do not lower yourself into senseless physical play. It is not that important.

– Pay $20 to your captain when you arrive. Pay $10 to Jingles for pizza and drinks afterwards.

– Arrive by 8am. First game starts at 8:30am sharp, regardless of the first two teams have all players there or not. Don’t be a let down.

– We are playing the 2 games against each team format. As such, games are 2 periods long, 8 minute periods. Last minute of each period is stop time.

– 2 minutes between periods and 5 minutes between games. The Refs will set timers and keep us on track

– The Refs – All calls are final. Do not argue. If anyone questions the refs, a board member will step in and decide the outcome. Don’t make us have to do this. The refs are there to help and see the boys. Treat them like a brother.

– Refs can call penalties. Every penalty is 1 minute of short handed play.

– WE CANNOT use the hall downstairs as a Christening gathering is happening between 12-4. We will do pizza and drinks in the gym and stage. This also means others will be in the parking lot. Behave and be respectful.

Looking forward to another great day of Tomcat hockey where no one will ever remember the outcome, but we will all remember the time spent together.

Thanks!

Rocky

Tomcats Forever!

No Tomcat algorithm tonight, and it was apparent in the teams. The Bullwinkle Bullies dominated the action all night. Taking the first game 8-7 and the second 8-4.

Bullwinkle Bullies – Bullwinkle, tonto, green giant, kamikaze, animal, Snowpants, bender in net

Soupy Simps – Chevy, matador, soupy, Cribzie, Chico, killer, shack, falcon in net

Soupy was by far the worst player on the floor, playing like an absolute piece of garbage. Word has it, his wife Serta, having been informed by a fellow tomcat about how bad he played, greeted him when he got home completely nude, and said, “your pathetic ass can look, but you ain’t touchin’ anything tonight!”

Stars of the night Bullwinkle and Tonto, controlled the defensive end, blocking hundreds of shots. Bullwinkle after the game, confronted a weeping Soupy, and said, “Not only did I make you my bitch out there tonight, but Rocky is now considering me as his next Vice President…you can be his fluffer”

The Tomcats learned tonight that Shack goes thru a lot of Cat Litter, nothing more will be said on that subject…

Snowpants was all over the floor, moving around like he was 20 years younger…he claims it is from the work he’s been getting done on his groin to keep it loose. Allegedly he also tried to get a happy ending from his dentist, or physiotherapist, or massage therapist, after hearing the story, I’m not sure which one…

All in all, Great night at the Kapusta, with lots of laughs afterwards!

Just a reminder that the tournament is just over 2 weeks away, February 25 at 830 am SHARP!

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami

Like all years, as we inch closer to the annual tournament, Tuesday nights start getting a little more intense, a little more fast-paced. This year is no different. Two very good teams running hard at each other last night, each team getting a win. The Tomcat Algorithm worked yet again.

Teams:

Stevo Street Fighters – Terror in net, Stevo, Sunny, Rocky, Green Giant, Big Ned, Soupy and Animal

May Day Maulers – Bender in net. May Day, Chico, Bullwinkle, Killer, Matador, Snowpants, Chevy and Shack

Speaking of Shack, the Tomcats have started a “Get Shack and New Backpack” fund to help him replace his daughter’s colorful hand-me-down. The Tomcats are hoping to raise enough to buy a backpack more fitting of someone of Shack’s age and stature.

Next Week – Empty pick up time. Lots of empties in the Tomcat room. Chico has offered to print his truck and load these up to return. Who can come early to help? Be a good Tomcat and help out!

Maybe the pace of hockey was so good last night due to the presence of 3 Greek Gods?

Reminder – Check the beer list and bring your case on your week or beforehand. We had great beer turnout this week where guys caught up on kissed cases. Let’s keep it going!

We’ll talk Hockey in a ‘New York’ minute; but first I gotta ‘tip my hat’ to the Rake; who just after the last buzzer went off showed up with a full King sized pizza for the boys. When asked what the occasion was he replied: ‘I heard no one’s been bringing in snacks – so I went out and got a little something for the boys’. ‘That’ my friends is the ‘true’ Tomcat spirit.

The ‘hockey’ theme of the night was ‘veterans’; that being the Hurricane Howitzers and Stevo’s Stingrays (Still a classic tournament name and ‘beautiful’ logo on the jersey).

Hurricane, Chevy, Cribzie, Green Giant, Sunny, Killer and Chico in net were just toooo much for Stevo, Skippy, Bullwinkle, Tonto, Rocky, Animal and Bender (net) – taking both games.

As the night wore on and it became apparent Hurricane ‘still’ has plenty of gas in the tank and even Bender was heard muttering, ‘Hurricane’s a dangerous guy’.

BTW – Hurricane, knowing he was going to miss his beer week next week, brought his case early. True Tomcat nature right there!!!

I couldn’t help but wonder about the classic White verse Black. Statistically speaking I’d love to see how the ‘win/loss’ column shakes out.

Speaking of ‘win’ – with the tourney mere weeks away let me give my prediction:

Animal’s team (Name not yet revealed) takes it all. ‘Yes’ – you heard it here first; looking at the teams I feel Animal’s picks as a Captain were ‘solid’ and he’ll hoist the ‘Stanley’s Cup’; which just recently underwent a slight transformation. I hoisted the thing and I can assure you this year’s winning team will be shocked at the weight. With the added ‘ring’ the beauty now probably clocks in at around 8 pounds…

Pizza, comradery and beer – what better way to spend a Tuesday; which is why the Tomcats will indeed be playing come Valentines Day in February.

Rocky wants to remind everyone to check their ‘beer night’ (Posted on the blog page)

Till I can sneak in again to cover these amazing athletes…

Ben Heir O’er

Another great Tuesday evening of hockey at the Kapusta. After a few cancellations, a solid 2-team night was had.

Rocky’s Black Stallions – Bender in net, Tonto, Noah, Rocky, Animal, May Day, Jingles and Stevo

Chevy’s White Arabians – Terror in net, Bullwinkle, Chevy, Snowpants, Green Giant, Kamikaze and Hurricane

In the first game, the Arabians took an early lead but the Stallions played a great second period to first tie the game a 4-4, the get the desiring goal with only a few seconds to spare.

In the second game, the Arabians again jumped out to an early 3-1 lead. While the Stallions tried another comeback, the Arabians were simply too much and easily took the second game.

DRAFT:

The 2023 draft was held after hockey. A late change in captains occurred during the day and Green Giant stood up to take on the role. The Captains are Big Easy, Animal, Hatchie and Green Giant.

Draft order was determined with Green Giant getting the first pick, followed by Hatchie, Animal and finally Big Easy. The results of the draft are listed here:

Green Giants, wearing orange or green: Green Giant, Sunny, Cribzie, Chico in net, Tweetie Bird, Shack, LaBamba and Killer

Hatchies, wearing red: Hatchie, Tonto, Big Ned, Terror in net, Bullwinkle, Lovie’ May Day and Stevo

The Animals, wearing white: Animal, Rocky, Chevy, Falcon in net, Snowpants, Kamikaze and Matador

The Big Easy’s, wearing black: Big Easy, Schooley, Soupy, Bender in Net, Jingles, The Eagle and the Lizard.

Captains are working on team names and will need short sizes. Let your captain know your size.

About one month until the Tournament. We start promptly at 8:30am on February 25th. Big Easy will face Animal in first game. This year, we have the “play each team twice” format back, so shorter but more games. Get ready!

Reminder – Check the beer list and bring your beer on your night or bring early if you plan to miss.

Tomcats forever!

The first night of 2023 was a beauty! With almost 2 full teams. The guys were shaking hands and high 5ing, happy to see each other after the Christmas break. No Tomcat algorithm tonight, as the teams were made old school by Tonto and Matador.

Matador Moussaka’s – Matador, Killer, Chevy, Hurricane, Cribzie, Bullwinkle, Shack, Chico, Bender

Snowpants Souvlaki’s – Snowpants, Soupy, Tonto, Skippy, Kamikaze, Animal, Big Ned, Terror

After seeing the first game end in a score of 4-1 for the Moussaka’s, the teams looked a little lopsided. They dominated the play, Matador looked like a young Mario Lemieux, and Killer took out 3 players ankles with his stick, (just a normal night).
But In the second, with a slight line up adjustment, the Souvlaki’s came out firing! They took the second game 9-7.

Highlights of the night were fan favourite Cribzie sniping 3 goals from the point. The guy is an absolute Man Missile, on and off the floor. A silver fox, unreal hockey skills, and a massive wrench, some guys just have it all!

In an interview after the game 2 victory, Soupy was asked about his potential “Goal of the year”, being the team guy that he is, he responded in a very Connor Bedard fashion…”I don’t wanna talk about me right now, I don’t wanna talk about how I put this team on my back in game 2 and led us to victory…it’s about this group of guys, it’s not about my 5 goals and 3 assists in game 2, or the defensive plays I made…it’s about being around these guys, it’s not about the coaching adjustment I made to win the second game, I don’t wanna talk about that…not Me scoring the greatest goal ever seen in the Kapusta Kow…but these guys…” just a true professional…

Also, Soupy has been fined a 12 pack for taunting the opposing teams bench. After scoring a highlight reel goal, he went by the Moussaka’s bench, bitch slapped each player and allegedly told Shack “Who’s the best Greek out here?” To which Shack weepingly replied, “you are”. He will gladly pay the fine for his unsportsmanlike actions…

Notable absent from hockey was franchise player Sunny Solaris. Apparently he is working on his tan on the beaches of Mexico, as evidenced by all the half naked selfies being posted to his Instagram stories! I encourage all tomcats to check that out.

Shout out to everyone for helping set up and tear down last night. Rumour has it Terror was there at 545, stretching, setting up, and mentally preparing for the nights action.

Draft for the tournament will go next week after hockey. Who will be the 1st overall pick???

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami

Three wise men came to gather in the Tomcat hall; they were once young, and now wise with experience love to reminisce about their glory days’.

Glory days and probably ‘many’ a story were told; as well as recollections from memory (Verse written historical archives; of which the Tomcat organization under the fearless leadership of ‘Jawz’ has done.  Side note on the nickname; which I think in retrospect needed to come out MUCH earlier and stuck – verse ‘Stevo’ – maybe the only Tomcat historical miss?…..).  

The Jeopardy question late into the ‘Year’ end Christmas Tomcat celebration…’Who has the MOST Stanley’s Cup Rings’?.  Whispers are… The Bulldog (I think I heard 8?), but how would one know?  The answer is simple.  Some time back Stevo had made a beauuutiful booklet  featuring ALL Tomcats (Young and now ‘wise’) which also captured the ‘early’ history of the group and those fearless trendsetters whom captured the ‘first’ (Of many for some) ‘Stanley’s Cup Rings’.  If you don’t have a copy; or lost yours – fear not; I heard it may be likely we’ll see that masterpiece somehow ‘added’ to the website…Time will tell if the idea does come to fruition.  

Why am I talking about ‘Wise men’?  Well – as players gathered after a very-VERY-great mini (Count 4 – YES 4, and I may have even missed one SHUTOUTS by Goaltenders).  Leading the way was Bender, selected by the ‘4th’ ‘Wiseman’ Snowpants; whom unlike the dreaded ‘algorithm’ selected a stellar cast of superstars like Cribzie, Stevo, Chevy and Bullwinkle (A.K.A Shredder).  The Snowpants ‘Snowstorm’ really shut down offence and scored ‘just’ enough goals (Scoring all tournament was hard to come by)  to come out victorious; and Bender recorded 3 STRAIGHT SHUTOUTS!!.  

The Chico ‘Comets’ backed by Terror (Whom had at least 1 shutout) and Rocky, Jingles, Tonto, Hatchie and Killer proved just as effective in shutting down opponents and only by ‘plus/minus’ goals’ were unable to catch the Snowstorm.  Rounding out the ‘mini’ was Animals ‘Avalanche’ with Falcon, Shack, Hurricane, Skippy and Junior.  ‘Yes’ Junior graced the annual XMas year end gathering and actually didn’t (Despite ‘some’ time away) look out of place.  Regrettably Animals crew was unable to notch a single goal; and while that may seem ‘bad’; the group did NOT get outplayed.  Shack would later mutter; “We spent the games wondering whom wanted to score’; while Falcon ‘just’ missed out on recording his own shutout.

Pizza, drinks, comradery, stories and ‘jokes’ (My favorite – Rocky noting Stevo, Sealion and Turk were all sitting together stated; ‘I got to get a picture of these legends’; only to note Shack was in the frame; to which someone quickly yelled out – ‘Just crop him from the frame’).

Good times made even more merrier with players like the Sealion, Turk, Tunzie and Hollywood coming out just for the after hockey festivities. Props as well to Tunzie and Seaion for bringing their ‘plus one’; which consisted of a full case each of beer! THAT – is the Tomcat spirit in FULL display.

Speaking of ‘spirits’ (NOT the ghost of Christmas past kinda sense); but after ‘some’ time off it appears Junior ‘forgot’ the rule about (ALLEGEDLY) throwing his stick.  Even SeaLion couldn’t believe it; stating, “I’m sure Junior’s stick was grabbed by some overzealous fan’.  Word has it Junior’s fine will be a case.  When asked about it later Junior remarked, “I just think Stevo was trying to pad the beer supplies’.

SOOO – hockey has now ‘ended’ for 2022; BUT will return after a ‘short’ 2 week break.  During that time, enjoy the holiday season (Merry Xmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah, Las Posadas, Diwali and Chinese New Year).  May ‘Santa’ bring you the coveted ‘Rake’s Be A Better D-Man’ or Chevy’s ‘Chilling point shot’ videos – enjoy ‘MANY’ a beverage hoisted with family; and feel free to ‘overindulge’ in all the holiday ‘eating’; cause come 2023 you CAN return to Tomcat hockey to ‘work’ it all off.

 I’m feeling the XMas spirit and will end this article with ‘famous’ ‘Home Alone’ Movie quote:  ‘Have a Merry Christmas – you filthy animals’ 

Yurri

As if the Tomcat holiday year-end events weren’t enough, many Tomcats also took part in the Dirty Growler Golf League season wrap up party.

Literally…lights out. An unnamed Tomcat tried to play with the breaker panel just before hockey started, so the first 5 minutes of game 1 was played without full overhead lighting.

In the end, Hurricanes Hemis wished the lights stayed off so no one would witness their 5-0 loss to the Chevy Corvettes.

Teams:

Hemis – Chico in net, Hurricane, Shack, Rocky, Snowpants, Animal and Soupy

Corvettes – Bender in net, Tonto, Kamikaze, Bullwinkle, Jingles, Matador, Killer and Chevy

The Tomcat Algorithm allowed a 5-0 game you ask? Well, the Algorithm was set, but at the insistence of the Corvettes, who claimed they had too many forwards, a trade was made leading to the teams listed above, and an imbalance in the first game. Rocky was quoted saying, “We will not change teams going forward if teams whine and complain. If they don’t like it, they can develop their own algorithm and run the show each week.”

Game 2 started off with the Hemis getting an early 3-0 lead, but the Corvettes came speeding back to tie it at 3-3 at the end of regulation. Two 1 minute overtime periods were played and with 1 second left in the second OT period, Hurricane, who turned 65 yesterday, scored the winning goal for the Hemis! Storybook ending for the Hurricane.

Shout out to Sparky though while on IR with a lower body injury, showed up with his case (only needed to bring a half but brought a full). What a Tomcat.

Next week: Last night of hockey in 2022. Pizza and drinks downstairs afterwards. $5 for hockey, $10 for pizza. Rocky will send an email shortly and needs responses of who is in for hockey and/or pizza. Please respond ASAP once that email comes out.

You’ve heard of the Malace at the Palace and the Battle of Alberta. Well now we have the Scuffle at Shotz!

What started out as a great night of laughs and drinks among tomcats and their wives, ended on a sour note with, as expected, the Tomcats coming out victorious. Just to note, no Tomcat was injured, nor did any Tomcat start the fight, we were simply there in a peacekeeping and ass kicking role.
I will not go into the details of the fight, but it was started by a Human Lizard and guy in a Parrot shirt. Tables were flying, glasses broken, and punches thrown.

Tomcat legend Sunny was right in the mix of everything, trying to keep the peace. In the chaos of it all, Sunny’s shirt was ripped from his body, exposing his Greek God physique, which was glistening in the neon lights. The floor was a puddle, not from the spilled drinks, but from the women onlooking Sunny and the other Tomcats.

Snowpants, who right before everything went down, was making great conversation with a Tecumseh Soccer Mom at the bar, came in guns a blazing. He climbed a table and from the top rope jumped on the pile of people with a flying elbow that had the crowd roaring! He was quoted afterwards saying, “I was one shot of tequila away from taking her home, and these motherf$&kers start a brawl! I was taking out anyone I could!” When talking to Snowpants after about how crazy the night was, he proclaimed, “you think this was bad? Try playing hockey against Chevy and Jingles on a Tuesday night!”

The highlight of the night was Soupy, who always has his cousins back, rescued sunny from harm in the Malay. According to Soupy, he took over a dozen punches to the face, an eye gouge and was shived multiple times in the back, however, after the fight, he did not have a scratch on his body. He protected Green Giant from a guy coming at him with broken glass, made sure Kamikaze was miles away from danger, and credited himself with stopping the brawl. He really was the saviour of the night. Not only can he stick handle thru an entire team on Tuesday nights while the rest of his team is wide open, he single handedly took control of the situation last night. He really is future President material.

Kamikaze was a huge help in all of this, as he saved Soupy’s jacket and made sure he had a distant view of all the excitement. He sent in a prepared statement, “As a CEO, my responsibility is to stay as far away from danger as possible. My security team (Green Giant) made sure I was safe so that we can continue to focus on meeting our sales figures. At (business name), we are always committed to ensuring that our team is following our diversity, inclusion, and equity policies as set out in our mission statement.” He also made us all sign NDAs to avoid any future litigation.

There was no sign of Bender while everything was going down, but word is, he was seen walking into the bathroom with an absolute rocket Tomcat Groupie. It must have been his 1970s maroon blazer…

In all seriousness, it was a great night. Everyone got home safe, and has a story to tell. I will never understand the mentality to get into a bar fight, I really hope that the individuals involved last night look in the mirror and learn from this experience; However, given my cynical view of the world, I highly doubt it.

Can’t we all just get along?

Guest Column by Haida d’Salami