By Harry Ballsonue

White Cardinals:  Sunny, Soupy, Zcahbba, Beep, Hollywood (G) The Turk, Killer
Black Knights:  Razor (G), Bulldog, Spinner, Lovie, Rocky, Stevo, Snowpants and Crazy Joe

The games could not have been closer, with the Black Knights scoring one goal more over all, but it was tied, when it came to games won and games tied. It went like this, 4-4 tie, then Black Knights win 5-2, then the White Cardinals take it, 4-2, so you see, very close. Two 30 minute games (timed) and then a 15 minute game, (timed with the new Sparky Clock)

The hockey was good and I would say, one of the finer nights for finesse and skill.  Both goalies rocked the joint out, but Hollywood was unbeatable in the first game and truly, sorry White Cardinals, but Hollywood held you in the first game.

Hollywood was outstanding in net …a reincarnation of Kelly Hrudy…even looks like him!

Special mention also should go out to Spinner, who finally got back into the line up from being on the I.R. with a severe respiratory infection that was thought to be a number of things. Spinner notched a hat trick in the second game, leading his time to the 5-2 victory. “I took short shifts and I felt good out there, I was happy to see that I still had my shot” a beaming Spinner indicated.

“I sure like having him out there, he is my go to guy and has been for years, I love looking for him and getting him the ball”, indicated Stevo, who played a clean game and racked up a number of assists on the night.

It should be mentioned that Crazy Joe, who is not even a part time Tomcat, brought out a 15 pack of Bud Light, ‘just because’.  “I like that in a kid”, indicated Snowpants, “that is a good way to get recognized in a positive way and soon enough you will be in the lineup full time”. Snowpants suggested. 

Just having Lovie on the Kapusta Kow floor seemed magical enough, with Christmas just around the corner. Then to have him up on stage, telling stories and laughing, well, “It was another Festivus miracle”, Hollywood said.

With Stevo keeping his calm and wearing a ‘Respect Yourself, Respect Others” bracelet, one had to wonder what is Stevo going through in his life.  MRI Results on his Right Knee, showed Moderate to Severe Degeneration Joint Changes, but there are no tears in the meniscus and no tears in the ligaments, just old age setting in on poor old Stevo. “no surgery, no rehab, he just can’t jump up and down and should not be running, so his knee does not keep taking a pounding”, team Doctors indicated. Oh well,” that’s good then, right, no running, he hardly ever runs on the floor and he never back checks, so he should be ok”, indicated old time friend and team mate The Hurricane. 

A bit of a piss off….Beeps’ car had been broken into in the parking lot. So a reminder from the Police, keep articles out of your vehicle so these low life’s do not consider breaking a window for a duffle bag that maybe sitting in your car.

Tomcat Christmas Party next Tuesday, everything provided by the Tomcats….all you need is $10 for pizza, which  have been  ordered by the Acting Minister of Pizza, The Turk,  Zcabba who is assisting the Turk said, “I was surprised he ordered a Hawaiian” to which the Turk responded, “That’s for the fags” , stated The Turk.  Too Funny! 

For next week, please make sure you have a Designated Driver.

Hey you fag, as you are eating your Hawaiian Pizza …..I will put my Harry Ballsonue

By Harry Ballsonue

Stevo has appealed his 6 game suspension, for his vicious attack on The Rake and with that, the league has no choice but to reinstate him. “We don’t think the appeal will be heard until the new year some time, so Stevo is good to go for now,” stated League Commissioner Rex Brennan.

Harry Ballsonue in his blog, ‘High Tension Lead to a Suspension”. has already broken down the teams that recently dueled it out, and he was the first out of the gate to point out that the games despite a non tournament format, featured the use of Sparky’s clock.  The Buckeyes, who for the most part wound up on the short end of Beep’s and every other White Knights stick, adamantly are wishing for the return of games ending at a score of 7.  During the first game shellacking the Buckeyes lost 10-4, there were many a player wishing the game had ended at 7.  If it had, the score would have been much more respectable, even with the loss.  The Buckeyes also learned the old hockey rule of NOT passing it up the middle still holds true.  Virtually every pass sent up the middle by any Buckeye player was picked off, and was followed with a quick goal. 

With a timed game element, it was truly a interesting game from the goal keepers perspective, as each game had the feel of a tournament.  Had this been a tourny, Falcon would have been the clear winning goalie, posting a 2-0-1 record with a 2.6G.A.A.  Despite the non tourny, my recent blog regarding “Tournament Two’s” still holds true. I did a little more digging regarding the classic one-two punch of Razor and the Falcon, and to date I have Razor just edging out the Falcon for the win-loss on the season.  That being said, stats in general are very difficult to figure out from a goalies perspective, considering the amount of mini tournaments played to date, and the bevy of ‘fill in’ goalies including Skippy, Bearcat and Chico.  Sources have already whispered both Skippy and Falcon will be out next week, which has left management calling up Chico to play.

Lastly, I must comment on the “Suspension” to Stevo.  While every Tomcat knows to “Play the ball”, hockey fans also know any game played on the Kapusta brings out the competitiveness of all the players. Never before in Tomcat history, that I know of, has a member been suspended.  Typically there may be fines imposed, and I think that’s the better course here.  Whispers have been heard in the dressing room of Stevo speaking of retirement and needing other players to step up and lead the organization.  Could that have anything to do with a lengthy suspension?  Maybe the reasoning was a suspension would allow management and stakeholders to see if the Tomcats could indeed survive without their franchise player.  I say Stevo will not retire until the completion and celebration of the upcoming 25th year anniversary.  And since Stevo is a fan and player favourite, I’m hoping the suspension is reversed into some drinking fine….he can also appeal his suspension, if he appeals his suspension, the league would have to let him play games until the appeal is heard, at the time of writing this blog I was told that no appeal had been launched.  So, levy a fine of beer, and a bottle of Rye, because every Tomcat knows it’s better to drink one’s sorrow away as opposed to simply erasing a player for a few games.

That’s what I think, and any decision which is different will cause me to have management remove their HANDZONMECAC.

Yurri

By Harry Ballsonue

White Knights: Rake, Chevy, Soupy, Falcon, Matador, Beep, Rocky, Jingles and Mez.
Buckeyes Wearing Black: Razor, Hollywood, Stevo, Junior, Bulldog, Skippy, Cribzie and Snowpants.

The White Knights take the night, 10-4, 4-3 and the third game ended up in a tie 1-1.

The White Knights had some great chances and capitalized, where the Buckeyes wearing Black seemed to put it on Beep’s stick all night long. “If only Beep was on our team,” chuckled  Snowpants, who was his enthusiastic self on the Kapusta Kow Floor.

“They obviously had a better team and took advantage of their opportunities,” indicated Bulldog.  He then added, “we came close in the second game and tied them in the third, but I know, close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades,” Bulldog concluded.

One White Knight that deserves lots of recognition is Jingles, four goals on the night, with three that almost caused the need for the repairman to get out and fix the mesh on the net. “I really did feel my old self out there, after coming off that injury at the start of the season,  I was just happy to contribute tonight,” Jingles indicated.

“I felt good out there last night…all the tips I got at the Chevy School for Shooters really paid off'” exclaimed Jingles.

On a serious note, although no penalty was assessed on the play, Stevo, has been suspended by the league for 6 games for a vicious trip on The Rake, in front of the Rakers net. “That bush league play was uncalled for,” indicated an angry Matador and continued, “he should get 25 games for that stunt, I was ready to duke it out with him and protect my teammate.”

The league looks down on plays of that nature and they see no choice but to suspend him for six games or until January 8, 2013.

“It was a stupid move on my part, frustration set in and I apologized to Rake after.  He had done nothing to me and I took out my poor performance on an innocent player,” a disheartened Stevo said and then continued, “Here I am trying to be a leader and lead by example and I am making a bone head play like that, inexcusable.  I deserve the suspension,” Stevo Concluded.

Although no three star selection was made, due to it not being a tournament, three members of the White Knights all deserve recognition, they are The Falcon, Soupy, and of course Jingles.

The time clock was used for the very first time in games that did not involve a tournament and two 30 minute games were played and then a 10 minute game. “I liked it a lot,” stated Junior, “I think it was a great idea to use the clock on a night like tonight and make them all timed games,” Junior concluded.

Too bad Stevo’s High Tension lead to a suspension and put a tamper on the night.

Let me suspend my Harry Ballsonue Stevo!

By Harry Ballsonue

Doc’s Dragon Flies : Chico, Hollywood, Snowpants, Cribzie, Soupy, Beer and the Leader of the Band, Doc
Rake’s Renegades: Zabba, Falcon, Jingles, Big Joe, Jingles, Chevy, Stevo and the Head Chef, The Raker
Killer’s Knock Outs: The Matador, Sparky, Razor, Rocky, The Turk, and Bulldog selected, but never showed up and the Captain of the Killer Battle Ship, Killer.

The games were quick and the games were fair.  No silly shenanigans and that was nice to see.  I thought, Soupy had a very good game, even though he may not have had the point production.  Beep was able to show as always, why he is a super star and the Doc Dragon Flies won the mini. Net minder, Chico, making his season debut in net, played very well, to lead the Dragon Flies to victory.

The final out come was as follows, The Dragon Flies, finished with a 2-1-1 record, 5 points and a plus 5 on the night.  The Renegades, came in second, with a 2 wins, 1 loss and  1 tie, that equals four points and they were a disappointing minus 6.  The Killer Knock Outs, went 1-1 and 2, had four points with their one win and two ties and finished even on the plus minus.

“I thought we did well out there, we got some scoring when we needed it, and we got the goaltending when we needed it from Chico, it certainly was nice to win the Mini”, stated Cribize.

“I felt good out there, I still may not know all the shooters, but I am very thankful to the Tomcat organization for giving me the opportunity to play goal tonight.” stated a beaming Chico.

Chico makes debut in net with the Windsor Tomcats

Killer was his Battle Ship self, wanting to take no prisoners.

The Hatchet Man

As Selected by La Bamba The three star selection on the evening, third star, Doc, the number 2 star, Sparky and the first star, Soupy.. Doc, who scored three goals on the night and was the Captain of the winning team, had this to say about being selected third star, “This is the first time I have been selected as a star”. Doc indicated and then turned away as he had tears in his eyes.

The January 2013 St. Felix is out, it is a 4 pager loaded with news and photographs.  If you look at it for one thing and one thing only, check out the play boy bunnies and who they are. There is also some valuable information about the January 27, 2013 Tomcats-Skipjacks game and information about the February 23, 2013 Tournament.

One other point of interest, please take the time to check out the latest/newest set of rules for the Tournament in the ‘Tournament Rules’ Icon. Some extremely valuable information about ‘rough play’ and the penalties to be handed out. Returning Ref the Bundura has agreed to ref once again this year and will actually be coming out on some Tuesday prior to that to get a ‘feel for the game’. Referee, The Sealion will also be on hand and will work from the stage as a consultant (see rules for details on what a consulting Ref may or may not do).

Exciting times at the Kapusta Kow and in the Tomcat Nation, the more excited you get, the more excited I get, as I put my Harry Balls on you!

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

Let’s take a closer look at the number two and allow me to point out some of the strange similarities between the number and that which has been going on as of late with the Tomcats. For example, this past Tuesday saw another mini tournament played, which in fact has also occurred over the past two previous weeks. Or how about my previous post in which I said any team that wants to win a tournament must score more than two goals a game, while allowing less than two goals.

You will by now have no doubt already read Harry’s excellent take on the past week’s play and teams that made up the most recent group of players to make up another mini. Let me break it down further; The Rocky Raiders did take first place with an average score of 3 goals per game while Falcon posted a 2 G.A.A. Rocky’s squad won two games with one loss and one tie. CASE CLOSED – Rocky’s picks won based on pure numbers, and the players ability to score more than one goal a game and relied on their tender to keep the score below 2 goals per game. The perfect combination for a tourny win. Still don’t believe me? To date there has NEVER been a team to win a tournament who has scored less than two goals on average or won less than two games.

Even the most closest of mini’s this year has ultimately been settled by the plus minus; which if you dug deep enough would further prove the winning teams always has the average score of 2 goals or more a game; and they definately have less than 2 goals a game scored which in the end helps thier plus minus.

It was really great this past week to see Jingles return to the fold and he didn’t look a bit out of place scoring and setting up many a goal to help the raiders clinch the tourny. Unfortunately Jingles fell pray to the rule of the “2’s” as he only got the nod for second star. While Snowpants is a fan and player favourite, I think Jingles was jacked. When I asked him about it later he commented, “Hey, I’m just glad to be back playing; but with some of the new style of hacking out there I might have to invest in a pair of lower shin guards.”

Matador who earned the third star selection was a little puzzled when he heard his name called, “Gee, I figured after that give away I had which resulted in a goal against us I never would have made it into a star selection. I guess I won over the judges with my good looks and hard play.”

Speaking of good looks, thankfully the Tomcats first ever couples Xmas dinner is only mere week away and the party is a guarantee to showcase some of the hottest women in town. I can barely contain my excitement as I wonder what the first Mrs. Tomcats reaction will be to my introduction: “Hi, I’m Yuri – I think I’d like some of those HANDZONMECAC”.

Yuri

By Harry Ballsonue

Rocky Raiders: Rocky, Snowpants, Beep, Falcon, Raker, Doc, Zaba and Jingles

Junior Junk Yard Dogs: Sunny, Junior, Soupy, Razor, Matador, Bulldog and Mez

Hollywood Holy Rollers: Hurricane, Hollywood, Skippy, The Turk, Sparky, Chevy and Stevo

Final Standing saw, Rocky’s Raiders take the Mini, with 5 points. The Hollywood Holy Rollers, finished up in Second with 4 points and the Junior Junk Yard Dogs, third place with 3 pints.

All three teams got some points, and all three teams scored some goals, it was nice to see.

Although there were some hacks here and there, the Mini played out very nicely and no one got hurt. Doc had a very good  tournament setting up Jingles on a number of occasions. “I know sometimes I can be a menace out there, but over all I thought I did well out there today” indicated Doc who won in the tournament.

Over all, plus minus wise, the Rocky Raiders, scored 9 and had 6 goals against, so they were plus 3. the Hollywood, Holy Rollers, scored 10, had 10 goals against and were zero in the plus and minus category.  The Junior Junk Yard Dogs, scored 9 and let in 12, for a minus 3 on the night.

“I thought we did well out there, I have nothing to be ashamed of, the team played well and I would pick this team again, if I could”. indicated Junior.

Three star selection, 3) The Matador, 2) Jingles, 1) Snowpants

Only one week left before the major Tomcat Christmas party. And December 18 is the players only Christmas Party. $10 for pizza, but everything else is provided.

Overall, the night was divine and we thank you all for playing hockey, as I put my Harry Ballsonue

By Harry Ballsonue

This week is the NHL Hall of Fame Week, it is also the
Hall of Fame Week in the National Ball Hockey League
and the Turk got presented with a special prize, as he
was the one that suggested that the guys from the office
get together and play at the Kapusta Kow Palace, 24
years ago.

We finally received a blog from an unknown source pretending to be Jingles.  We then received another anonymous blog from someone saying they were Spinner.  A little detective work from our Tomcat police officer friends indicates Spinner wrote the blog for Jingles, while Jingles wrote the blog for Spinner.  Go figure…Nonetheless, here are the final two summer blogs!

Spinner posing as Jingles:

Jingles here,  I’ve written this blog a dozen times already and never seem to be able to finish it.  Now that I’m on injured reserve, it’s time to put pen to paper and finish this bad boy.  My current ailment, an upper body injury, has made it difficult to hold a pen.  I have tried thrusting my trusty ballpoint it into every major orifice I have, ear – rectum – nostril – belly button, but nothing has the gripping power that I really need.

Let me start by saying that I miss all you guys, especially Hollywood.  Working 6 jobs: auxiliary policing, crossing guard, life guarding, male model, receptionist in my dad’s office and being an alter boy, BESIDES, going to school full time, has left me with very little energy to do anything exciting.  So, there’s nothing much to report here.  All I can say is, I look forward to returning to the Tomcat fold as soon as it is physically possible for me to dominate the way I always have in the past.

Remember, Play Hard and Stay Hard!

Jingles posing as Spinner:

My name is Spinner and I’m a winner, who hasn’t had time to write a blog,

I’ve been real busy, educating kids, in other words I’m working like a dog.

I’ve been teaching kids in Ghana, I met the Dali Lama, I’ve been reading to kids in Tibet,

Volunteered in Thailand, to carry bags of sand, I haven’t had any “me” time yet.

Now that I’m back in class, it’s time to get off my ass, the time is now for Double D to roar,

Spinners’ back in town, that’s what’s goin’ down, can’t wait to get back on the floor.

I’ve missed you all, and playing hockey with the ball, every Tuesday at Kapusta Kow,

I’ve done my blog in rap, cause I don’t give a crap, I’m back!…that’s all I have for now.

Fans have already noticed the daylight hours have shortened and players are beginning to comment the Kapusta is no longer the sweltering sauna it had been mere weeks earlier.  Trees are losing their leaves, and the ones left are dramatically bursting into hues reminiscent of another slumbering fall season.  With a lack of NHL hockey, Tomcats coffers are beginning to overflow with the fans packing the Kapusta to the max in their quest to watch quality hockey.  This past Tuesday they were not disappointed, and in fact fans were treated to the third consecutive mini tournament of the season with the three teams Captained, and lining up as follows:

Wearing Yellow and lead by Chevy were Sunny, Rocky, Soupy, Cribz and Razor backstopping

Wearing Black and Captained by Snowpants were Labamba, Bulldog, Sparky, Mez, Doc and Skippy in net

Last, wearing White marching behind Stevo were Hollywood, Yuri, Zaba, Hurricane and Falcon in net. 

Yeah, I did the same thing when I saw the conclusion of the picks; I quietly muttered “How was Chevy allowed to put together such a dynamic team?”  I mean talk about quality…I think Yellow had arguably most of the top goal scorers and defenders in the game.  I guess it will come as NO surprise Chevy and his Yellow squad ended with a 3-1-0 record and 13GF, 4GA, plus 9 and Razor turning in another ridiculous 1G.A.A performance, and in the process knotching 2 more shutouts.  Their only real close competitors; Snowpants and his pesky crew, who while starting off slow with back to back loses, ended the tourny on back to back wins; which were both shutout performances by Skippy. 

On paper, and even in some of Snowpants picks, the odds right out of the gate looked bleak.  Doc said it best when he commented, “We gotta be the workhorses, those blue collar gritty guys that grind out the wins – Let’s embrace being the underdogs!”  Those ‘underdogs’ went 2-2-0 with 6GF, 5GA and a plus 1.  Skippy nearly matched the play of Razor and ended with a 1.3GAA on the night. 

Falcon, and Stevo’s White squad unfortunately did not fair well at 1-3-0 with 3GF, 11GA and a minus 8.  Not a spectacular mini at all, Zchabba would later comment, “We just obviously couldn’t score, and to really have a chance in these timed tournaments you gotta post a score of 2 or more and have your goalie keep it under 2.  That doesn’t mean Stevo picked bad, or Falcon had an off night, teams win or lose as that – a team.”

And YES, I said timed games, being the Kapusta was graced by the fine workmanship of Sparky and his glorious Blue Clock creation.  Players already noticed there were some minor tweaks yet to be made, such as a Tomcats logo in both upper corners; which may have lead to the ensuing scramble to plaster the clock with sponsors.  The ‘offender’ was quickly reprimanded, and the hastily scrawled black marker advertisement was quickly erased.  Mercifully, it was able to be erased, as while the thought was genuine, it seemed to desecrate Sparky’s masterpiece; which is why I am giving him my pick as Platinum player of the game.  JOB WELL DONE SPARKY, players and fans for years to come will fondly remember your handy work.

Speaking of other colours, the three star selection: Gold, Silver and Bronze, went to Soupy, Razor and Skippy respectively. All well deserved, and a first ever featuring two goalie selections.  While you continue to look fondly at the changing colours outside your window, and continue to watch your favourite Tomcats players, I will quietly be in the stands looking for that special someone to put their HANDZONMECAC.

Yuri.