Windsor Tomcats

June 22, 2020

By Chuck Fina

The Gordon’s Gin Golf League teed it up at  the Seven Lakes Golf and Country Club this week. On hand were the Nature Noy, Stevo, May Day, Chevy, Cribzee and Hurricane.

Prior to the start of the round Chevy and Cribzee were granted their PGA cards by Mark Patterson, President of the PGA Canada who drove in from Elbow, Saskatchewan to present the boys with their official cards. Sources indicate Chevy and Cribzee’s days could be numbered on the Gordon’s circuit. “ I love the guys, but the prize money is way better on the Tequila Tour”, said an emotional Cribzee fighting back the tears”.

Chevy, who owns every student house rental on California Avenue in West Windsor , was equally happy.” With the cash I can make on the Tequila Tour, I can finally hire a plumber. 20 years of snaking toilets has taken its toll on me”.

Chevy, Cribzee and Hurricane played together and rode in separate carts. “ Chevy and I are A listers now so riding with a B lister like Hurricane is not an option. It’s all about professionalism and image”, said Cribzee.

Interestingly enough, Hurricane won the round. He shot a 68, Chevy a 69 and Cribzee a 71., although Cribzee and Chevy played from the ‘blacks” while Hurricane was teeing off from the “reds”.

The other three some featured Stevo, May Day and the Nature Boy. Scores were 72 for Stevo and the Nature Boy and May Day tied at 73. “ Rough Day out there today”, said Stevo who was not his jovial self with reporters after the round.

Notable Absences were Hatchie, who was celebrating his one-year anniversary with his lovely wife and the Sea Lion who was in self isolation for reason’s unknown. When reached for a comment, the Sea Lion said, “ My doctor is a nipple head. I’m stuck in the basement playing 1992 Tiger Woods Golf while scrounging for quarters to feed my vintage juke box so I can listen to music. I used to have all kinds of change but this Covid situation really dwindled my stash. If only I could figure out how to open the juke box and reuse the same quarters”, said a dejected Sea Lion.

The league wishes the Sea Lion well and hopes he is back on the tour soon.

In other news, the Ryder Cup has been canceled but the Ride Her Cup will be a go at Deer Run again this year on the Civic Day Monday. Look for an e-mail from Mayday for the announcement.