Windsor Tomcats

June 7, 2017

By Dick Fitzwell

It was a windy day as the Gordon’s Gin league played in their second week at Belleview. Notables Stevo, The Sea Lion, The Bundura and May Day were again on top of the leader board.

“Considering 40 guys have now joined the league, I am pretty happy with my round”, stated the Bundura who finished with a final score of 68. He saved his best wizardry for the par 3 sixteenth. The Bundura used a loft wedge to negotiate the wind and put it on the green for a tap in birdie. “One of the best shots I have ever seen”, commented Stevo. Other scores were Stevo 69, Seal Lion, 70 and May Day, 71.

Playing in the group in front of us was the celebrity, The Champ. You will remember the champ being the star of the Q107 morning show in Toronto. Stevo grew up with The Champ in Oshawa.

Golf League co-ordinaries May Day stands by the tee box as the golfers 30 of them get set to tee off …”the league has taken off …I’m tired of saying, there’s no more room in the league” May Day.

When Stevo saw The Champ at the turn, he called out to him and said, “Hey Champ, do you want to join me and grab a couple sausages”?  “PARDON”, replied the Champ. Stevo repeated, “Do you want to join me in grabbing a couple of sausages”? The next thing you know, The Champ completely loses it. He hits Stevo with a flurry to the mid- section, rabbit punches, left cross and an uppercut. Stevo is lying there. “Geez, I forgot how sensitive The Champ is”, said the Sea Lion. “You shouldn’t ask The Champ questions he can take the wrong way”.

The boys are trying their best to clean up their language on the course. Instead of cursing out the ‘C’ word after a bad shot, one of the guys suggested to not use the ‘C’ word but Smelly Growler instead.

Bundura’s approach shot, he was 89 % in hitting the greens in regulation

In the club house after the round, Stevo was not impressed the bar had still not stocked honey bourbon. Stevo has refused to golf until the bar receives its shipment. Other banter included discussing newly released feature films such as Black Cock Down and Everyone I did Last Summer in additions to classics like Assablanca and The Bone Ranger.

Sea Lion shines on the course holding his Belle River Pepsi …”its the first league I have ever played with fans, they are always trying to touch my balls”.

On the way home, one of the fellas was asked what he is making his wife for dinner.

“Well, she has two choices, cake or cock. And I am all out of cake”.

League play resumes on June 12, 2017.