Windsor Tomcats

Stallone, Schwarzenneger, Willis, Statham, Eastwood, The Rock. Who is the greatest action star of all-time?  I’ve got 3 words for ya … CHUCK FREAKIN’ NORRIS!  How tough is Chuck? Here are just a few Chuck Norris facts:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake…..after three days of agonizing pain…the rattlesnake died.

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was one problem … it wouldn’t take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.

Chuck Norris once played who will blink first with a mirror, and won.

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

Chuck Norris does not have hair on his testicles because hair does not grow on steel.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

Some people piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris once ate a 10 pound steak in an hour. He spent the first 55 minutes banging the waitress.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass …. at night.

The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Stay tuned for more from The Razor!!