By Harry Ballsonue
If Rickie Fowler can wear orange pants on national t.v. in the Arnold Palmer Tournament at Bay Hill, then the new Orange Tomcat Long Sleeve shirt is a fine look.
Green Monsters Rocky, Soupy, La Bamba, Chevy, Turk, Razor, Killer (May Day selected, but never showed)
Black Holy Men Zabba, Stevo, Spinner, Cribzie, Bulldog, Rake, Falcon and Mez
White Reptiles Matador, Snowpants, Sparky, Jingles, Hurricanes, Doc, Hollywood and Lovie.
“I was very disappointed in the Green Monsters and the White Reptiles”, indicated President Stevo, holding back tears. He would not elaborate but, I know what he was thinking.
On one occasion, a poor referring decision, cost the Black Holy Men a goal. The ball was shot up on stage. The play is to be held, while everyone gets in place, that is the common rule and would be a good Samaritan play, but team Green Monster, got the ball from off the stage and passed it into play and they scored. The ref, a Russian, by the name of Hannikov, let the play stand.
In another referring blunder, once again, a Russian ref, Metulinov, had the ball hit a player standing on stage. The ball came into play and then the White Slimy Reptiles scored a goal to tie the game up against the Black Holy Men. That ball was shot out by white and should have been black ball in the corner, but poor reffing calls, had the play stay.
Missthecallov was the first star tonight.

Due to protests of previous pictures on the Tomcat website, the Tomcats are providing other hockey photos. We hope that hese photos are not in anyway offensive.
The three star selection, as selected by La Bamba, # 3) Jingles, #2) Razor and #1) Hollywood.If Lime Green and White need to win these games so badly, that they themselves do not call the play dead, then we have a very very very very very large problem in Tomcat Land. I have to ask myself, “What Would Stevo Do” in a play like that? I think he waits for the other team to get into place. In fact I know he would. What would he do, if the ball hit another player and bounced back in. I think I know, he would say, “oh other teams ball.”
Does it really mean that much to you, the Tuesday night playing Tomcat to win? Really? Do you come home that night and wake your wife up and say, “hey, we won again tonight, yeah, a bad call by the ref, won it for us, but hey, snooze you lose right…ha ha ha ha ha.”
Please give your head a shake and ask yourself, if it really is that important to you to win and where did sportsmanship and honesty and integrity go to?
Tomcats did Jacket orders last night and all reports indicate that 36 Jackets have been ordered. Tomcats waiting on two guys to decide what they want to do.
As far as Out Door Game is concerned, it will be the Marauders and Cribzie’s Crown Royals Vs. Sharks and the Hollywood Hooks. Bulldog will be doing up a list for people to sign up. “I have booked the venue and we are all set” indicated Jingles. “I have booked the Dome Polski and we are all set,” indicated Zabba.
And speaking of Zabba, he wanted to pose for a picture to show what the refs may have been missing in the game, glasses.
At Purples, in an informal meeting, it was thought that an Ombudsman would be a good idea for the Tomcats. Stevo agreed, “Put forth some names and we will appoint someone,” Stevo had indicated. Names that were put forth were Lovie, Rocky and Sparky. All good names in the eyes of the Tomcats, now, one needs to be picked.Hey, when you are slithering around on the Kapusta Kow Floor, getting a goal that you do not deserve, do you mind if I put my Harry Ballsonue your slimy forehead?
Solid:
La Bamba and Snowpants, back at Purples, buy a round for the boys….they did not have to do that but, two great guys being great Tomcats
Squishy:
Fines Levied Last Night:
Zabba a case of 24 for throwing his stick, to be brought out on the first night of hockey next year in September.
Team Black Holy Men: Cribzie, The Rake, Stevo, Zabba, Mez, The Falcon, Spinner (But Not Bulldog) fined a 24 for drinking out of the cooler prior to the end of the tournament. All 6 Holy Men to share in the cost of the 24. To be brough on the second night of hockey, in September.
Zabba: Fined a 12 pack for abuse of an official, to be brought, second night of hockey in September.

Bull shit