Legend, lore and whispers heard in the night busily recount “facts” associated with the stereotypical serial killer; such as their stashes of trophies taken from past victims. The Tomcats sport a quiet unassuming killer. It’s been said he’s been watching in the shadows studying under the great Razor. Some say when he uses a certain brand of dish soap his hands drip the colour of blood red. Others say the rings of past tournaments glory glow an eerie gold hue, and he’s constantly rubbing at the empty fingers missing their feel of victories. Razor has a hand full of rings, one for each finger I’m told; and Falcon has been eying those fingers ever so quietly.
Last night he collected another mini tournament win, combining with his team mates to post a 2-1-1 record (9 GF – 4GA PLUS 5) and notching two shut outs which helped him to an impressively miniscule 1.0 G.A.A on the night. 1.0 G.A.A- scary indeed, scary good! I’ve said it in the past, the funny thing with mini tournaments is the spotlight either tends to be focused on the goaltenders or the captains who picked the teams. With Beep getting his first nod at a Captains spot, everyone focused on the captains and teams selected.
Backed by an impressive roster, and Skippy having an outstanding night, Beep only lost out on winning his first mini tournament by that pesky plus minus rule; which ultimately favoured Sunny’s Black Devils by a mere 3 goals. The road to a near win was fraught with difficulties considering Beep’s squad lost 1-0 in their first game, and the second – a 1-1 tie required several looks under the replay booth hood by Cribz who reffed. The delay was a spirited discussion as to whether Junior, now back in the fold playing as hard nosed as ever; actually kicked one in past an outstretched Razors pad. I’m not sure, but just before the verdict came in of ‘GOAL’, I swear I heard Junior snarl, growl, swear and threaten to “smash shit.” Hey, every team needs those hard-nosed players who are willing to dig in the corner and go where other players wouldn’t dare; which is a wonder why more calls don’t go against him.
After that Beep rallied his squad and they riffled off back to back wins with Skippy ending the night on a high with his first ever mini tournament shut out. When all the fans had left I caught up with Beep and asked him about Captaining in a mini and if, as a newer player he had difficulty lining up his team. “Well I’m getting to know the boys better and better each week; and after I picked some players I knew by name I said screw it and took whatever players were left.” Great hockey sense, the ability to notch high light reel goals and the ability to quietly lead, it was no surprise Beep got the first star nod; which by no means was a bone thrown to him as a result of coming so close to winning.
After the winners and stars were chosen, players discussed the apparent increase in what has been described as “chippy play”, and more specifically management clamped down on protecting their core of goaltenders by introducing new fines for “Captain hackey” players. It’ll now set you back a cold 6 pack for hacking at the tenders, and the hacking on the floor will still rest with Stevo yelling out “PLAY THE BALL”.
I love the fact management has predicted next week will feature another mini, and I love even more the captains who will select: Snowpants, Shovey and Steve O; classy, all captains begin with an “S”. I can’t wait to see if a mini does in fact break out what those team names are. I’m also hopeful fans and players will see the unveiling of the long awaited new electronic scoreboard.
Until next week, I’m going to try and catch up with Phil Landerer and see if any of his collection of hot chicks want to be Pattyn MEGRYOIN.
Pattyn, filling in for Yurri.

Boys, what a treat it was getting out to see the boys for the first time this year. Well, other than the hockey I should say. I was in full “rusty as hell because I’ve been off all summer” mode but you bastards were in “fuck you Lovie, we’ve been playing for 2 months and we are making you look like shit” mode.
Other than Doc asking me if I was the slower, fatter, less coordinated and bearded brother of myself the guys were pretty good….well, other than the Turk’s comment. “What’s the problem? You been off eating vegetarian pizza and sucking cock all off season? Christ…”
It was great to get back on stage for a couple cocktails with the boys and I was glad to see Beep fitting right in as he was slashing Sunny against the wall. Sure, some guys thought it was over the top when I skipped the traditional handshake and chose to make out with Hollywood, but shit, he had this crazy, handsome Qui Gon Jin look going. Maybe he plied me with the force, I don’t know. Regardless, it was so great that some of us met for lunch on Thursday. To show the class of the organization, Steve O not only took the time to give me a private tour of the training facility (which involved an extensive look at the male shower area) but he also slid a mitt-full of 20’s on the table as he left to buy lunch for the boys! With leadership like that the Tomcats are bravely marching into the future. Hell, we may even get a new scoreboard soon. I hear it is tucked inside the gym bags Jingles is ordering for us…
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