By Harry Ballsonue
Hollywood Hookers: Killer, Razor, Zschabba, Soupy, Lovie and Hollywood.
Cribz War Pigs: Shamus, Yuri, Sunny, Skippy, Snowpants and Cribz.
The Hurricanes: Junior, Rocky, Doc, Stevo, Spinner, the Danish and Hurricane.
Hurricanes: 2 wins, 1 loss, and 1 tie, 9 goals for 7 goals against and finished plus two with 5 points.
Hollywood Hookers: 2 wins, 2 losses, no ties, 7 goals for, 11 goals against finish with a minus 4 and 4 points.
The War Pigs: 1 win, 2 losses, 1 tie, 10 goals for 8 goals against, plus 2 and 3 points.
The Hurricanes were victorious playing some solid hockey on both ends, “I thought our defense played very well, we only allowed 7 goals and that bodes well for our goalie the Danish and for our defense, I though Junior was tremendous out there”, indicated Hurricane and then added, “He would have made a hell of a son in law, I’m sorry to see that my daughter never married him.” Concluded Hurricane.
“Disappointed, yes I would say I am, I thought we would fair better, but, still a good night at the Kapusta Kow and I know I’ll be back next week”, stated Captain Cribz, who as seen hobbling to the x-ray machine, as Hurricane had carved him up with his stick in an earlier game.
“Not sure why my brother was so upset with me out here tonight, I just played my regular night of hockey, but he came over and told me that he loved me and shook my hand, I shook his hand, with a confused look. He was happy to win another tournament I think, so it all ended well” stated Hollywood.
Three star selection as selected by LaBamba: 3) Zschabba, 2) Junior and 1) Rocky. All were presented with hats as a prize, thanks to some good negotiations by Razor. Zschabba, being the great guy that he is, gave his away to a fan. “Thanks Mr.. Zschabba said little Davey”.
The game was marred with a cut to the left eye of Snowpants and the crowd looked on as Snowy was bleeding, but in the end, a quick patch up job and a story about being jumped by 5 Mexicans in the alley, had everyone laughing, even though the word was that it may have been Rocky’s stick that cut Snowpants (thus the first star for Rocky….naw, just kidding Snowy)….originally thought to be the Danish, but he was so bummed about cutting someone, that the blame was put on Rocky.
Special highlights included the Hollywood Hookers doing a chant before their game with the Warpigs, “Shamus blows…..Snowpants” and then my favourite, before the start of the second period, “Shamus shat in Yuri’s change room”.
Over all a good night of hockey, but some chippyness is going on and head referre Stevo has asked the players to ‘chillaxx’.
One other point of interest, for those following the Tomcats on a weekly basis, Skippy, will be allowed to pick another team in the new year, as the net minders will be Captains again in the new year. “I am grateful for the opportunity and I know I can do better” Skippy said, with that boyish smile of his. Fans will recall that the Skippers went 0 and 4 last week a first time in Mini Tournament history.
I want to compliment my colleague, Heywood Jewblowmee on a fantastic article he wrote about Specialty games making a come back. IF you have not read that story, then please take two minutes to do so. Stevo, apparently has collected $350 from the Toronto players as they are ready to rock.
Next week, Dave Hann and Youngblood are to bring beer.
And speaking of Youngblood, I am being told by the Tomcat medical staff, that Youngblood will make his seson debut next week, Crosby returned Monday, Youngblood to return Tuesday…coincidence? I think not.
Interesting fact and I point it out as I know Stevo gets a bit bummed about his beer selection being razzed by long time Tomcat The Turk,, but I was told, that last week, 6 Red Cap’s were left over. That is a first in Tomcat history, that beer is actually left over, now I don’t want to speculate and I could not get a single Tomcat to go on record to say why the beer was left over, but one can only think that because the beer is not enjoyed by anyone and therefore no one wants to drink it and thus the left overs. It seems to me that Stevo’s Brava light is never left behind and that all are merrily consumed. Like I said, I don’t want to speculate but it goes to reason.
Next week, the six left behind will be placed in the cooler for consumption, I am told.
Doc did a good job this week on filling the cooler as there was plenty of ice on all the beer.
When you are avoiding the Red Caps, I will put my Harry Ballsonue.


Stevie’s near beer is all gone at the end of the night because you have to drink 6 of them just to get the slightest inkling of a buzz. 2 RedCaps and not only are your beer glands and taste buds satisfied, you’re half in the bag. Gotta stay between the lines, you know.