Windsor Tomcats

RAZORS’ REPORT

How Do Tomcats Spend Their Summers?

Hurricane
Will be working as a street performer in Saginaw, Michigan.  Dave is hoping a summer of stilt-walking will improve his footwork for the upcoming season.

Sparky
Will be working as a minnow and worm collector for a bait shop in Wheatley.  Paul is hoping that being a master baiter for the summer will improve his wrist shot.

Snowpants
Will be working as a janitor at a juvenile detention home in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.  Vic figures if he’s going to swiffer floors like he does at ball hockey, he might as well get paid for it.

Yuri
Will be working as a taste-tester for Red Cap ale.  George figures if he is going to drink himself into oblivion, he might as well get paid for it.

Skippy
Will be working as a male prostitute on the corner of Ouellette and Chatham St.  He figures if he’s going to spend all that time on his knees like he does when he’s playing …well…you know the rest.

Junior
Will be working as a ballet instructor at the Nancy Pattison Dance Studio.  Poisson is hoping to improve his ankle strength (and his general disposition) for the upcoming season.

Husky Eyes
Will be spending the summer speaking to pre-school and junior kindergarden kids.  John hopes that this will help him communicate with Lovie better for the upcoming season.

Shamus
Will be working as a carnie game operator for a circus out of Woodstock.  Josh is hoping to rip-off enough 10 year old kids so that he can afford to come out to Purples one night after ball hockey.

Chevy
Will spend the summer training 7 days a week for an ultra marathon (100 miles) before the season begins.  Chev is hoping this will help him show up for the first night of ball hockey at least 5 lbs. lighter than last year.

Bulldog
Will spend the summer training 7 days a week so he can enter a Strongman Competition in Austria this August.  Anthony is hoping this will help him show up for the first night of ball hockey at least 5 lbs. heavier than last year.

Soupy
Will be spending the summer doing carpentry work at an Amish community near Blenheim.  Soup figures if he makes his living selling furniture, he can double his income if he makes it also.

Falcon
Will spend the summer on a strict diet of schwarma, gyros and KFC.  Mike’s goal is to fill the entire net come next season.

Rocky
Will be spending the summer touring with the Chippendales.  Nuf said!

Louis
Will be spending the summer touring with the Clydesdales.  Nuf said!

Bearcat
Will be working this summer with the cheetahs at an African Safari Park in Zambia.  Dean is hoping to show the big cats what real reflexes are.

Crow
Will spend the summer studying U-Hual, Allied Van Lines and Ryder.  Dave is hoping to find out the secrets of the only 3 entities in the world who have more moves than he does.

Jingles
Will be working this summer as a baggage handler for Delta Airlines at the Detroit Airport.  Kevin hopes to find out how to get bags to people on time!!

Cribs
Will spend the summer working on a fishing trawler off the coast of Maine.  Ken is hoping that all of this work with nets will actually help him get a shot on one this upcoming season.

Stevo
Will spend his summer working as a male Madame at a local S&M club.  Steve figures if he gets paid for putting handcuffs on people, he might as well get paid and enjoy doing it.

Killer
Will be getting out of the greenhouse business and getting into the fruit business.  After a lot of soul searching, Dean figured that since he plays with a bunch of vegetables all season he needed a change of pace.

Lovie
Will spend the summer studying the urinary functions of wasps and hornets.  In other words, he’s still working with B.P.

Youngblood
Will spend the summer on a strict regimen of steroids and human growth hormones.  Andy hopes to have pipes the size of Skippy’s’ come ball hockey season.

Spinner
As a teacher, Spinner will be taking the summer off…because he can!

Doc
Will spend the summer volunteering at several leper colonies in India.  Andy thinks that months of living with lepers will make living on the same street as Stevo and Crow, a piece of cake.

Hollywood
Will spend the summer working in the kitchen at St. Vlads.  You want cabbage rolls……..he’ll show you cabbage rolls!

Razor
Will be spending the summer drinking beer, smoking cigars, playing golf and making appearances throughout the south to represent the Tomcats.  This is Rays contract year and he wants to stay in Tomcat shape.