Windsor Tomcats

This week featured yet another mini-tourney with some great hockey. The first game, between Stevo and Snowpants was the finest hockey seen at the Palace in some time. The action was end-to-end and the goaltending was absolutely stellar. Stevo scored a ridiculously sweet goal on an amazing deke that only he could score. Somewhere in Tampa Stevie Y was smiling the moment “Stevo Franchise” juked, jived and buried the biscuit. His posed stare into the rafters only made the goal more legendary. Bulldog drove home the winner into the top corner on a great drive to the net. It was just a great hockey game for the ages…

Bearcat showed absolutely no rust coming out after weeks off. He may have stolen Sparky’s WD-40…He certainly showed his class by bringing out beer “just because”. Hollywood continued to enhance his already stellar image by bringing more beer than he needed to as well as working with Falcon to act as ringleader for Stevo’s birthday gift from the boys. Of course, Hollywood got the whisky while Falcon used his experience with porn to dive deep into the bargain bin for Granny Gums. Not happy with the regular version, he went for the higher model with more holes, more wrinkles, additional liver spots and removable dentures. Yes, you read that correctly. I can’t believe it and I just wrote it. Nothing but class Falcon! Attaboy. Speaking of class, Stevo was serenaded with a Marilyn-like version of happy birthday doled out by Razor…wearing nothing but a jock strap and his singing ability.

“Christ” said Junior, “Razor needs to do some fucking manscaping. It looked like he was trying to hide a wooly mammoth underneath a walnut shell”.

“I had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night” said a dejected Youngblood. “I must have taken a pube in the eye, it swelled up like a grade 9 boy who stumbles into the girl’s change room at shower time”.

“I enjoyed the spirit of it, but could have done without the sweaty ass-print on my slacks” said Captain Stevo. “That guy is a beauty”.

George was “on” again, getting the highest ratings on the laugh-o-meter as usual. Shamus is really finding his groove on stage. Even though he went down early in the tourney with a lower body injury he popped some pills to try and play. That was unsuccessful, but he stuck around to have drinks with the boys and celebrate his team’s win. Good stuff Shamus. Snowy had a big day at work Wednesday, but stuck around for some beer and whisky drinks with the boys. Junior and Razor looked like they were going to go nose-to-nose briefly but ended up laughing and sharing a Golden Pheasant. Rocky was a stud in the tourney, really picking up his play when 1st round draft pick Shamus went down to injury. Snowy and Sunny looked like Hall and Oates out there threading passes back and forth. No, not the Maneaters, the other ones who play hockey. Louis and Killer had some great battles in the corner, the best being in the back corner of the stage while debating the merits of doggy-style vs the council of the cow. I read a missing poster on my milk carton the other day. It had Falcon’s ass on it…

At one point in the games Stevo and George met behind the net and took part in a heated battle for the ball. It looked like two majestic rams with steam pouring from their nostrils, rising to meet each other in a powerful charge. Or maybe two Heavy Metal-type cartoon Gods with swords clanging. Or even better, two Champion-caliber heavyweight boxers slugging it out to the delight of the crowd. When this was brought up between games by Louis, Stevo replied “George had the ball and I lifted his stick and took the ball, that’s all”.  I tend to agree with Louis, it was a great moment between two veterans, the two veteran pillars of the Tomcat organization. Stevo gave George props on the stage, stating that “George wanted to play some basketball. That’s how all this started so many years ago. Along with Hollywood, we are like the trinity”.

There was a strong crowd onstage yet again and the chatter went on late as is recently the standard. A small, but committed contingent zipped over to Purples afterward. Sunny Salaris had the night off and wanted to soak in the Purples experience that he normally misses due to work commitments. He showed his generosity by grabbing the first round. Hollywood darted directly to the jukebox, which is a welcome addition in my opinion. Nothing goes better with beers and hanging with the boys like music. Oh yeah, some talk of former conquests is good too, but is still better with tunes. Holly went heavy on the ballads to the delight of everyone in the bar. The guy in the old-school purple Purples jacket was even rocking out up at the bar. Hurricane explained that hearing INXS gives him an urge to throw his belt around his neck and dive into the broom closet to masturbate furiously while strung up on a footstool. I guess that’s just how he rolls…

Sparky showed up on stage even though he is busy trying to get his dance partner to go commando next round and Doc showed up at Purples after work to have a drink.

The boys floated out into the evening on the notes of Never Tear Us Apart. Amen to that…

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