Jingles
All posts tagged Jingles
The number of dicks Eva Longoria can fit in her mouth at once.
– The Turk
And now Jingles Komedy Korner!!
What do you say to a naked lawyer?
– Here’s a suit.
– Jingles
What do you call a bear without teeth?
– A gummy bear!!!
– Jingles
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
– Nacho Cheese!!!
Tip your waitresses.
By Craven Moorehead
Commissioner Stevo of the monthly St. Felix and Windsor Tomcats Ball Hockey Club in Windsor said he’s well aware of the stir that the statue has caused.
He said Jingles approached him in March with stories about the statue outside his house, which is said to weep tears of healing Rub A535 at night and which has attracted scores of floor hockey players to a formerly quiet Windsor neighbourhood.
But the Commissioner said he has investigated the matter and that he cannot agree with Jingles’ statements. He said Jingles and the statue do not represent the league.
“At best, it is just Icy Hot, and at worst, well, I don’t want to know” The statesman of the league said. He adds: “They do say that Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound”.
Meanwhile, longtime friend of Jingles, Shamus, has decided not to investigate the statue any further.
He says that once Jingles gets a couple of those fancy ‘Blue Moon’ beers in him, he starts seeing many ‘miracles’, including the crying St. Felix.
“To be honest, I think the statue is crying, but more just about the way Youngblood played last week” Shamus said. “The next thing will be Jesus appearing in some perogies.”
Until next time, I’ll be Craven Moorehead
These words haunt the newly appointed captains.
Boys:
There will be a change in the Captaincy in this year’s tournament, the three new Captains will be Paul ‘Sparky’ Renaud, Andy ‘Youngblood’ Morgan and Kevin ‘Jingles’ Kuprowski. Michael ‘ Hollywood’ will remain the fourth Captain and will be defending his title.
In 2012, the four new Captains will be Ray ‘Razor’ MacDonell, Mike ‘the Falcon’ Menzel, Shane ‘Skippy’ Renaud and Dean ‘Bearcat’ Meloche.
The reason for this change is simple, Michael Jaworiwsky is still in Windsor and he is the Captain of the defending Stanley’s Cup Champions, the Polka Kings, so he should remain Captain, which means having the other three Goalies as Captains, takes away from Razor selecting a team.
This gives a couple of new guys to be Captains for the very first time and it will be fun and merriment for everyone involved.
Tomcats Forever!
Stevo,
Jingles on the job. He got a flat tire chasing after the perp:
By Trevor Wilhelm || September 21, 2010
WINDSOR, Ont. — An Amherstburg cop nabbed a naked man Monday after the police officer’s attention was aroused by the suspect, who jumped out from some bushes and started pleasuring himself.
The off-duty officer was driving down County Road 50 around 3:30 p.m. Monday when he saw a man step out from a hedge line.
The man was naked.
And masturbating.
The officer hit his brakes and the man took off running. The officer chased him down, identified himself and ordered him to the ground. The man refused and kept running. The officer caught up with him again and finally managed to arrest the naked man. The man is charged with committing an indecent act, nudity and resist arrest. Police haven’t released his name. He is scheduled to appear in court Oct. 26.
Windsor Tomcats 