By Craven Moorehead

Commissioner Stevo of the monthly St. Felix and Windsor Tomcats Ball Hockey Club in Windsor said he’s well aware of the stir that the statue has caused.

He said Jingles approached him in March with stories about the statue outside his house, which is said to weep tears of healing Rub A535 at night and which has attracted scores of floor hockey players to a formerly quiet Windsor neighbourhood.

But the Commissioner said he has investigated the matter and that he cannot agree with Jingles’ statements. He said Jingles and the statue do not represent the league.
“At best, it is just Icy Hot, and at worst, well, I don’t want to know” The statesman of the league said. He adds: “They do say that Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound”.

Meanwhile, longtime friend of Jingles, Shamus, has decided not to investigate the statue any further.

He says that once Jingles gets a couple of those fancy ‘Blue Moon’ beers in him, he starts seeing many ‘miracles’, including the crying St. Felix.

“To be honest, I think the statue is crying, but more just about the way Youngblood played last week” Shamus said. “The next thing will be Jesus appearing in some perogies.”

Until next time, I’ll be Craven Moorehead