Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

We thought we would go out and interview some kids and ask them some questions….here is what we got.

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. — Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure?)

– On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. — Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7 (Love her)

-The law says you must be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. — Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? — Kelvin, age 8

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. — Ricky, age 9

10. Personally I love number one “keep the chips and dip coming” and number 4. While you are pondering number 5, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

The Pantelon de Niege Outing

Saturday June 18th, 2022. Sutton Creek Golf Club. 10 a.m. Sharp…. Rain or Shine. A number of prizes to be awarded! Individual Stroke Play Format. Pay-as-you-go (golf/cart, food and bev.)

1st Foursome: Stevo, Red Squirrel, Big Ned, Bubbles

2nd Foursome: Sunny, Soupy, LaBamba, Big Easy

3rd Foursome: Hurricane, Chevy, Bagz, May Day

4th Foursome: Scuz, Matador, Tiny, Shack

5th Foursome: Big Poppa, Zee, Schooley

6th Foursome: Snowpants, Atom Bomb, Bender

7th Foursome: Killer, Tonto, Junior, The Animal

EVERYONE, please arrive at the course by 9:30 am to register and some announcements.

Snowpants is looking forward to seeing everyone for a great day of fun. IMPORTANT: PROFESSIONAL CALLAWAY SCORING SYSTEM to even out the scores, anyone can be a winner. Who will be this years winner, who will take the prestige Pantelon de Niege Jug home with them this year?

“In golf, there are moments, like in some of the drives and putts,

I put my heart and soul into those strokes. The chips, the bad stances,

but when I hit the ball well, I give myself goosebumps.”

Snowpants, Minister of Golf

Some of the best golfers on the planet will be teeing up the weekend of June 18th. And I am not talking about the event at The Country Club in Brookline, MA. We are talking about the famous Pantelone De Neige golf tournament…AKA The Tomcat Golf Tournament.

A great day of golf, shenanigans and fun is planned. Who will take the cup this year? Look for pictures of the event in a future blog

Summer Plans?

Send us your summer plans or take a pic with your Tomcat gear on and share so we can see where Tomcats roam this off-season.

Did any Tomcat know that Kamikaze moonlights as drummer/juggler under the alias Riccardo Merlini? Word on the street Ghost Crossing may look to replace their current drummer with Riccardo “Kamikaze” Merlini for their reunion tour.

Anyone else moonlighting with a side hustle this summer?

Tomcats’ management want to know interesting places Tomcats visit this summer vacation season. Send us your pictures from paradise (ideally sporting Tomcat swag) so we can post throughout the summer off-season. Pictures of fans surrounding their Tomcat heroes are encouraged. Let Tomcat Nation know where you have been!

BTW – Lots of golf events coming and keep us posted of there are any summer parties happening in Tomcat backyards. Always good to have a showing of Tomcat celebrities at your gatherings.

The Tomcat Board of Directors and select other Tomcats met last evening to discuss the recent season and plans for 2022-2023. The Tomcats taking part were:

Rocky, Stevo, Hollywood, Sunny, Sparky, Kamikaze, Falcon, Chico and Bender

Here is a recap of the items discussed and decisions made:

– $50 start fee and $5 per night (no change from recent years)

– Season will start September 20th. Last night of hockey (and pizza party) will be December 20th. We start back up on January 10, 2023 and we wrap April 18th. Last night in April will be a special game where goalies draft the teams.

– Annual tournament returns to last Saturday in February (25th). The play each team twice format makes it return (last done in 2016). So more games, but the games are shorter (8 minute periods). Captains for the tournament will be: ANIMAL, SCHOOLEY, HATCHIE and BIG EASY. New fines for missing/backing out of tournament also will be enforced:
— 1st rounders – 3 case fine
— 2nd rounders – 2 case fine
— 3rd rounders – 1 case fine.

No new rules but everyone will be reminded of key items that need to stop…hacking goalie when they cover ball, chopping down on sticks, swinging sticks, even when along the ground.

Friendly Reminder for warmups: do not shoot on net near stage – we will move that net to side until games start. And for the love of god, when warming up the goalies, shoot at them and below the waist. You are warming them up, not trying to take off their head or score.

2022-2023 will see the return of special games. Big Net Night will be played again, and other games proposed are Vets vs. Youngbloods, Detroit vs. Toronto and maybe a night where we bring some Tomcat kids out to play.

Other Special Events:

– The return of the holiday party at Rock Bottoms with significant others. Everyone loves this event and really missed it during COVID. Hoping to have it on a Friday in late November and hoping Chevy and Snowpants can help organize.

– Spitfire Suite – Bender to organize and split costs amongst interested Tomcats.

– Potential Tomcat Softball team – Chico to look into

– Cool Bus to Tiger’s game or other event. Also something for Bender to look into.

Other Plans:

– Chico, Director of Community Outreach to head up fundraising concept to first purchase the Tomcats a defib machine. After that, continue concept to then raise funds to give to local, grass root Windsor charitable organizations.

– New/Different Tomcat Swag – potential purchase of new hockey shorts for Tomcats to order, as well as Tomcat golf/polo shirts. Also hockey bags are under discussion. These will require some fee to each Tomcat, but Tomcats may be able to offset portion of costs based on budget at that time. Goalie jerseys were also considered if the goalies want to purchase those for themselves.

– Tomcat room and gym floor will need organizing/cleaning/repairs. Kamikaze and Rocky will look for volunteers in the summer to make this happen.

– Purchase speaker for music every night, not just when LaBamba is there

– Purchase net weights to hold them in place better. Rocky to procure.

– New balls and disperse them across more Tomcats so there will always be many available each night. Rocky to procure.

– Leverage Rocky Algorithm for picking teams and if not, ensure teams are as fair as possible for two-team nights.

– Stevo to once again start printing and mailing paper copies of the St. Felix to all Tomcats monthly so we can stop paying for the blog hosting.

That’s it for now. Here’s to a great evening at River’s Edge with a fine group of Tomcats and here’s to all Tomcats!

Tomcats Forever!

Next Tuesday is the date. A Tuesday evening at 6:30…sound familiar?

The designated board members, as well as a few other interested and involved Tomcats are planning to take part. You may be asking, “what does the meeting entail?”

Here are the standard agenda items that get discussed and decided on each May:

– Finances – where is the “kitty” at and how does that shape up for current funding needs and anticipated start of season expenditures. Related to this, we discuss the start of year payment and weekly dues amounts.

– start of year gift ideas

– How play went this past year and any rule changes, areas of focus we need for next year to keep the hockey fun and enjoyable

– Determine next year’s tournament date, captains, format, etc.

– Special events – last night of hockey before Christmas, special games nights (remember Big Nets Night?), events outside the Kapusta walls (Christmas party with significant others), summer golf events, etc.

– other gear ideas or equipment replacement

– any Tomcat anniversary forthcoming to plan something special for

– recruiting – do we need fresh blood? Do we need more goalies, etc.

– Next season’s beer list

– timeframe to have guys commit for next season and when to reach out

– Round Table – any new ideas guys want to explore.

There is still time to join in. Let Rocky know by Friday. Also, feel free to send thoughts to Rocky and he will bring them up during the meeting.

While the hockey is now on hiatus for the summer, there is no shortage of Tomcat events. Here is a rundown of planned events and likely a few other parties to be added before hockey returns.

Tomcat Board Meeting:

Tuesday May 17th. 6:30pm. River’s Edge Bar. Any Tomcat is welcome, not just actual board members. Let Rocky know if you plan to attend no later than May 10th. Come have your day on the future of Tomcat Hockey.

Golf, golf and more golf:

Kapusta Open:

June 4, 2022. The Turk organizes this one.

The Pantelon de Niege Cup Tomcat official Golf Tournament):

June 18, 2022. As the name implies, organized by Snowpants.

Kobassa Open:

July 14, 2022. Organized by Stevo.

Cougar Bush Tour:

August 22,23 and 24th. See previous blog post from Chevy.

Cougar Bush – Battle Creek:

September 13-16th. SOLD OUT but also arranged by Chevy.

Razor hands off gear to Tomcats:

Since he retired, Razor no longer has need for his goalie equipment. He recently donated all his gear to the Tomcats so future goalies can use. Who might wear the famous blue and yellow pads in net for the Tomcats? Look for Razor to come by for a beer in the fall.

Hi Everyone

We are happy to announce the dates and courses for the Canadian leg of the Cougar Bush tour.

This year we have 2 cougar bush events: 

1. Canadian Cougar Bush August 22-24 2022 ( See info below)
2. SOLD OUT – The original Cougar Bush Sept 13-16 in Battle Creek that is Wait list only. Email Chevy to go on the waitlist. 

Event information is as follows:

We will be doing things slightly different this year to make it easier on the clubhouses. 

1. you will be e-transfering Chevy @ szewczuk.stephen@gmail.com the full amount for Golf, Skins and Prizes in advance. I will be paying the clubhouse for everyone to avoid issues and delays. We have a great lineup below.

2. I have added $5 for skins and $5 for prizes. Since in the past everyone participated we will make it easy and  have skins games that ensure fairness so that everyone has an equal chance at winning. In the past we have had many people donate prizes and we are thankful for their generous donations. This year we will all contribute to make the prize pool even better!

3. Preference will be for those that commit to all 3 events we will then fill in the spots with the remaining individuals not able to commit to all 3 days. I have 20 spots available for each day and will be updating the clubhouse based on groups of 4 ie. if we get to 16 with no other takers I will give the last 4some back to the club.

Monday Aug 22 Willow Ridge -Blenheim 1030AM Tee Times $40+10 = $50 18 Holes

Includes Cart+$5 Prizes +$5 Skins/Games

Tuesday Aug 23 Erie Shores – Leamington 12:15 Tee Times $65+10=$75 18 Holes

Includes Cart+$5 Prizes +$5 Skins/Games

Closest Too Prize – Provided by course

Wednesday Aug 24 Kingsville Golf Course 12:15-12:30 Tee times $75+10=$85 18 Holes

Includes Cart+$5 Prizes +$5 Skins/Games

Closest Too Prize – Provided by course

 4. Registration: email: szewczuk.stephen@gmail.com indicate the days you wish to attend ensure you have spousal approval & e-transfer your cash. 

No e-transfer – let me know and we will figure it out – on an exceptional basis only. 

5. Rules:

“There is no crying in Golf”

Cheers

Chevy

By Harry Ballsonue, Retired Tomcat Blog Writer

“Please stop teaching my children that everyone gets a trophy just for participating. What is this, the Nobel Prize? Not everybody gets a trophy.”

Glenn Beck

There are many trophies in the world. There are many trophy wives and I suppose trophy husbands. The Tomcats have the coveted Stanley’s Cup and the MVP trophy (Thank you Skippy for making that one) and the Finner Award, won this year by May Day. But where do old trophies go to finish their lives?

Stanely’s Cup

The original Stanley’s Cup was designed and made by our very own Turk, (pictured below) The Trophy, not Turk. He had an idea and it flourished. Now the new cup is sought after ever year on the last Saturday of February, because what else are you doing in the dead of winter? For those that did not know there was an original Stanely’s cup, now you do. The new cup, has a number 35 on it, to give credit to the Turk for his innovative thinking. It also has the initials KKP. What do you think that stands for?

Commissioner’s Cup

The Commissioners Cup,(pictured below) WHAT ?” What is the Commissioner Cup you speak of Harry?” Well, let me tell you, a long time ago, there were two specialty games, Canada Vs. Ukraine and Detroit Red Wing Fans, vs. Toronto Maple Leaf fans. They would play off on a Tuesday night. These were called, ’Specialty Games’.

For the Ukrainian team there were a number of Ukrainians in those days, the Legend, The Turk, The Bundura, May Day, Hollywood and Stevo, to name a few and to get more Ukrainians, they would come up with Ukrainian sounding names, so the Rake and the Sealion along with others were given Ukrainian names, example Rake-Beregernko and or Sealionchuck…I think you get the drift. Those games were not too bad as far as play was concerned. There was not trophy awarded for this game, you just had pride and some welts on your shins….if you won.

The Toronto-Detroit games, They were played on the last two nights of hockey for the year, well those gems were another story. In these games you would think that if the team that won, the next stop would actually be getting on a bus and be driven to the Joe Lewis Arena…to play for the Detroit Red Wings or to get picked up by Pat Quinn. I shit you not! These games became very very intense. So these games got stopped and the trophy put away, to be displayed in the Ball Hockey Hall of Fame, which could one day be located on Paul Martin Drive in Windsor Ontario. (Nudge Nudge, Wink, Wink)

Essex 99’rs Vs. Belle River Buckos

One other specialty game, was the Essex 99’rs vs. The Belle River Bucko’s, this game was basically the Belle River Buckos, lead by, at that time, franchise player Crispy. They had the likes of Uwe, May Day, Ditty, Bucko, Finner, Mez, Doob, and they would play anyone who lived in the county, thus the name Essex. (Not the town of Essex, but anyone living in the Essex region). SIDE BAR, many years ago, there was a four man baseball squad, they would travel around and they would play a full team, the four man team was called the California Beauties. They had a pitcher, a catcher, an infielder and a outfielder. The pitcher would cover first base if there was a hit. The out fielder would go into the field that he thought the ball would go to. The pitcher of course was a phenom, so not many hits were made, well, in ball hockey, these would have been the Belle River Buckos. They were all gifted ball hockey players and the Essex 99’rs would lose to them every year except for one year when a rookie goalie by the name of Razor came out. It was his first night of hockey and he was assigned to the Essex 99’rs and he stoned the Belle River Buckos. That is the night of the famous quote of Finners, when the Belle River Buckos were on board their van heading back to the river of Bell, Finner, said, ’Tonight, we got beat by a bunch of Pig Farmers from Tilbury.”

From what I can recall, the Essex 99’rs sat on the stage drinking beer a bit longer that night soaking the moment in. Razor was the hero that night and the Essex 99’rs were in their glory.

I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS

While you are looking to see if there are more red tags ( for Red Wing wins) over, blue tags for Leaf wins, on the Commissioners Cup, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Dear Tomcats,

Congratulations to all of you on another fine hockey season. We were able to pull off this year and enjoy it despite the hiccups along the way and we were still able to have a hockey season that our organization values and strives to maintain. So thanks again to all of you for making the Windsor Tomcats who we are – a family we can all be proud to be a part of.

Although the season has ended, our traditions continue. The summer weather always welcomes the likes of golfers. Each year we host several golf outings to reunite during the off season. This year is no different. We welcome and invite you to participate in the Turks, ‘Kapusta Open’, June 4th, at Ambassador Golf Course. This event is a four man scramble, the cost is $140. (Money well spent), as you get golf at a very nice course, dinner at the Kapusta Kow Palace and a prize.

Stevo has his Kobassa Open on July 14, 2022. 36 spots paid for, only 4 spots remain.

Chevy organizes the Cougar Bush, August 22-23,24, further details on the Cougar Bush Tour will be provided when they become available.

The Pantelon de Niege, organized by yours truly, is on Saturday, June 18 and the venue is Sutton Creek. It is “the” Windsor Tomcat Golf Tournament.

Pantelon de Niege Jug – Information

– Saturday June 18, 2022, 10 a.m. rain or shine.- 36 spots booked and there are 29 confirmed golfers at this very moment.

– Individual stroke play

– Pay for golf when you get there and food after is your cost. Your golf includes a cart

– Trophy presentation will be after golf at Sutton Creek (either on the patio or inside)

– Foursomes to be determined, one week prior to the event

– Prizes closet to pin and closest to rope (drive). We will gladly except any prize that you wish to provide.

– Last years Champion: The Big Easy.

If you are listed below, you are confirmed to play, (7 spots still can be filled). If you are listed below and you are NOT SUPPOSE to be on the list, then please get a hold of Snowpants. My number is 226-724-2505.

Snowpants, Tony Adamic, Stevo, Red Squirrel, Bagz, May Day, Hurricane, The Rake, Big Easy, Tonto, La Bamba, Sunny, Soupy, Killer, Junior, Shack, Animal, Bender, Big Ned, The Turk, Bubbles, Big Poppa, Skuz, Matador, Tiny, Tunzie, Chevy, Hatchie, Schooley

Tomcats Forever !
Snowpants

The Tomcats finished the season on Saturday with our annual tournament. Historically, the tournament is played the last day of February. However, because of COVID restrictions, and a late start to the Winter/Spring season segment, Tomcat moved the tournament until April and made it the season closing event. Since we did not play the 2020-2021 season, it had been 770 days between Tomcat Tournaments!

Despite the tournament being a huge success, it was not without last minute turmoil. In the days leading up until this past Saturday, COVID reared it’s ugly head and caused several committed players to drop. Thanks to Scuz, Jingles, LaBamba and Napoleon (Son of Junior) for being last minute replacements. Depth is a great thing.

The teams:

Captains came through with some phenomenal team names and logos on T-shirts. Big thanks to Hollywood for arranging all the swag creation for the teams and everyone involved. We all love the Ukraine inspired shirt given to all Tomcats and used in the team photo.

As expected, games began shortly after 8:30am and the speed of play was faster than typical Tuesdays. Everyone always adds a little extra come tournament time.

In the end, Bullwinkle’s Bombers were too much for the Lizard Kings and they were able to drink from Stanley’s Cup.

All goalies played well with many amazing saves worthy of ESPN’s Top 10 highlights. Scuz showed no rust despite not playing for more than a year and getting the call up one day before.

However, Bender had the best day, and was named MVP for helping his team to victory.

MayDay won the Finner Award for his efforts to raise money for Ukraine. We need more people willing to step up like that.

Most Gentleman award was given to the guy who could be on the cover of each and every Gentlemen’s Quarterly (GQ), Beep. The guys is always showing true sportsmanship.

The day would not have been possible without great game officiating from Doc and Hollywood. It is a thankless job but we thank them nonetheless.

Soupy’s wife, Serta, stopped by to take the team photo…she is a keeper Soupy!

Great seeing a family photo from tournament day…Soupy, Serta and the future stars of Tomcat Nation:

And speaking of Soupy, big thanks to him and Kamikaze (who had to miss due to COVID) for planning the tournament.

Jingles handled pizza for the boys after so we could celebrate one final time before the summer hiatus. Thanks Jingles!

In the end, 2021-2022 was a challenge but the Tomcats made it happen after a missed year. We all needed this season, and we all need the tournament. Hopefully 2022-2023 is totally back to normal.

Keep an eye out for updates on summer events. There will be a board meeting in early May and any Tomcat can attend to have input. There are the Kapusta and Pantelone de Neige golf tournaments, and other events to be shared later.

Thanks to all Tomcats for being Tomcats. This is a great organization of great guys and great friends. Tomcats Forever!

E a