Click here to read the April 2016 (217) issue of the Saint Felix
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THERE IS NO HOCKEY THIS TUESDAY. The Tomcats wish to thank their fans for understanding and wish to let them know that we will be back the following Tuesday, March 8.
Stevo would like you to let him know if you cannot make it on Tuesday March 8.
St. Felix asks that since you have the Tuesday night off, you can spend the time reading the St. Felix. (Which comes out Tuesday March 1)
Harry Returns this Wednesday with a blog about the tournament.
TOMCATS FOREVER
3 More Sleeps By Harry Ballsonue
“Calculus and Booze don’t mix, don’t drink and Derive”
Teams.
Black Knights Falcon, Spinner, Kamikaze, Matador, Soupy , Jingles, Sheep Dog and Stevo
White Lightning Razor, Beep, Shack, Green Giant, Hollywood, Snowpants and the Turk (Killer was suppose to be on this team but did not show up)
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and then the tournament, Two teams playing the week before the tournament, you would think everyone would want to get into pre tournament shape, but no, some at home doing Pilates, some at home resting.
Tuesday night Hockey was full of fun and hit goal posts and the Green Giant picking the top corners, “Save those for Saturday” Stated Matador.
The White Lightning too the first game 7-5 and the second game ended up being a tie 9-9.
With only three more sleeps remaining, the boys are raring to go. “I really can’t wait to get the show on the road”, stated a cool calm and collective Falcon.
TOURNAMENT
Things you need to know,
It starts at 8:30 this Saturday morning.
Cost is $25 to be paid to your Captain.
Captains, you are to buy a round of drinks at Purples for your team
Pizza will arrive at Purples at 4, pay the Turk $10
Tournament is for fun, I asked around and not one NHL Scout will be in attendance.
Tournament is for fun, I asked around and not one AHL Scout will be in attendance.
Tournament is for fun, I asked around and not one ECHL Scout will be in attendance.
For those wishing to attend Franca’s “Celebration of Life” On March 5, dinner is at 5:30 …and Mirella and Jerry are collecting $15 from each person in order to give it to “Transition to Betterness” .
Also ….some related Tomcat news …Ghost Crossing is apparently going to play at the “Good Bye Purples” party set for Saturday March 26 …all Tomcats are encouraged to attend the party and say good bye to Mirella and Jerry. They have been incredible hosts to the Tomcats And it would be nice to give them a ‘Tomcat Spirit’ send off …..also fellow Tomcat brothers and sister are playing …Eel (drums) Axe (guitar) Snake Bite (Guitar and Vocals) The Toad (vocals) and Coyote (Bass)…I’m sure Ghost Crossing would appreciate a great crowd cheering them on and well if some boobies are shown during the show to the band….I’m sure they will take it all in, Ghost Crossing stride so please consider coming out on the 26th.
Killer was suppose to be there but never showed up, Stevo is getting tired of the ‘no shows’ and was a bit steamed about it but offered no comment.
Razor gets honourable mention as he brought a 15 pack of OV, “Just because”. “What a super great guy Razor is”, stated Sheep Dog.
In proper Journalistic Fashion, I wish to bring your attention to the next article, just below mine for a read on the ‘prediction’ of how the tournament will go. Yurri has some interesting notions…and predictions, so enjoy.
June 17 is the Tomcat golf outing……Snowpants just starting to look into places, times, costs, but the date is set.
As you are checking out this fine golfer, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.
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‘Soupy’s Sweet Science’ (By Harry Palm Press): We are a mere 3 days away away from the classic ‘Stanley’s Cup’, and by now the coaches have finished drawing up their big plays – BUT will it end as they predicted, with their team hosting the cup? For the past several years I have taken a crack at predicting the finalist – and modestly I remind my sole reader I have been bang on each time. The success has mostly come from predicting which team would end up in the championship game; whilst the prediction of which team would actually take the cup home has been a little off. This year, I again intend to predict the teams who will make it to the BIG game; but I am also going to try and predict game by game and overall standings. I’ve looked at the teams closely, and stand by the prediction it will be the Soupy’s Sex Symbols and Beep’s Honey Badgers in the final. Let’s review – Tunzie has crafted a fine team, but really lost a significant defensive boost with having Chico don the pads. On the floor Chico is a great D man, with a fine shot from the point. Relegating him to net as a result of all the goaltender injuries and Bearcats retirement may have hurt the team. It will be interesting to see how Chico fares come the 4th-6th games, considering playing net is a lot different than running the floor…..While Chico may have played a few games between the pipes this season, and done well – to play for an entire tourny is a whole different matter….Tournament day will see a Soupy/Beep near sweep, with each team only losing one time a piece to the other. Come the championship game, Soupy will take it by 2 goals. The Titans will go 2-4 and the Marlies will post a 1-5 record. BY THE GAME (TEAMS IN ALL CAPS PREDICTED TO WIN) BEEP/Tunzie +1 Regardless of how accurate I am – or NOT; here’s hoping ALL teams enjopy the biggest show of the season. And while your busy hurling things at the computer, I note your one appendage is free, cause Yurri HANDZONMECAC. Yurri |
Beer Bringers: Matador (24) Tomcats (24)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon
In The Line Up: Green Giant, Killer, Spinner, Lovie, Hollywood, Kamikaze, Doc, Jingles, Beep, Soupy, Matador, Snowpants, El Choppo, Shack, Stevo , Sheep Dog
Not in the line up: Crow, Bulldog, La Bamba, Chevy, Sparky, Chico, Sunny, Cribzie, The Danish
Tomcat Tournament: It goes Saturday February 27, the cost this year is $25. you get hockey, beer and tee shirt.
Pizza after at Purples, price for pizza $10, pay the Turk.
Called up…but brought back down to the minors: Catfish
Empties Help: Thanks to the fine folks that helped with moving the empties out of the Tomcat Room, Sparky and the Windsor Tomcat organization appreciates your help and your Tomcat Spirit”.
Tomcat Skinny: After this week there are only 7 weeks of Hockey left….. There is no hockey March 1
NICKNAME CONTEST:
Submissions..
Razor: Van Gough
Jingles: Van Dyke
Lovie: Slipknot
Doc: Ripped
Sea Lion: Snatch
Snowpants: Ozzie
Captains: To Be Determined
Tomcats Forever !
Tomcat Family Night By Harry Ballsonue
“If you want to know what a man thinks, don’t ask him, watch him”
Nortrop Fryso
Teams
All In the Family Razor, Turk, Chevy, Stevo, Sunny, Shack and Catfish
Modern Family Falcon, Lovie, Sparky, Spinner, La Bamba, Jingles and Snowpants
Tomcat Family Night had the Tomcats playing some good old fashion two team hockey and then eating some pizza on stage after as a Family. “Great idea having pizza tonight”, stated an ecstatic Snowpants.
Spinner was on fire with 8 goals on the night. “I felt great out there tonight, I feel I am in a groove, I have made some adjustments to my stick and this has helped me with goal production”. Stated s beaming Spinner.
The Modern Family team won, with scores of 6-5, and 8-4. All in the Family won the last game 7-3.
Newcomer, Catfish came out to watch but was thrown into action as the numbers were low last night. Catfish after his first game, “OK, I thought I was in pretty good shape, but getting up from your couch and going to the fridge is not enough, to prepare you for this, man this is a great work out tonight, the hockey is unreal, I can’t believe how quick the pace of the game is”. stated Catfish.
The Tomcats are not sold on the name Catfish and are holding a contest to name the new Partime/call up Tomcat. Catfish is the new back up goalie (at least he is going to try it out) He will be on a ‘call up’ basis only, if/when the Tomcats run into goal-tending shortages. He is not to play out, he is a goalie.
However…….A rookie mistake may have cost the Catfish another call up, as he took a dump in the Turk’s private dressing room. Wiley veteran Turk had a word with the youngster and told him never ever, ever, never to drop a deuce in his private dressing room again, “If he is ever allowed back, I let him know not to pinch a loaf in my dressing room ever again” and angry and disturbed Turk stated.
Presently named Catfish ….but Tomcats looking to you to name the newest Tomcat ….submit your name to Stevo …
Some nick name Ideas being bantered around, Van Dyke (Due to his beard style which is called a Van Dyke) Van Gough for his look. Slipknot (for his love of heavy metal music), KItch cuz he is originally from Kitchener. Tomcats will give one free night of hockey to who ever picks the best name. Other points about Catfish that could help select his name. He went to a high school in Kitchener and they were called the Trojans, he uses the Trojan condom when having Sexual intercourse, 6 times a week and he played Lacrosse for the Kitchener Braves.
Get your ideas into Stevo via text.
Doc and Kamikaze working on a Tomcat Baby Carrier, “we figure some of the new Tomcats will be having children soon and thought this might be a great way to welcome them into the world as a Tomcat”, stated Doc.
“Lady Katie models the new Tomcat Baby Carrier”.
THANK YOU
Turk was to bring a 12 pack but brought out a 24. Shack brought 6 beers ‘just because’. Great Tomcat Spirit.
Thanks to those that helped with the moving of the empties from the Tomcat room. Sparky and the entire Tomcat organization thank you for participating.
Hey, and while you are checking out the photo of Catfish and thinking I can come up with a better name then that, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.
Beer Bringers: Falcon (24) Tomcats (24)
Net Minders: Razor, Falcon
In The Line Up: Green Giant, Killer, Spinner, Lovie, La Bamba, The Turk, Jingles, Sparky, Sunny, Chevy, Snowpants, Stevo , Shack, El Chappo
Not in the line up: Crow, Bulldog, Sheep Dog, Hollywood, Doc, Cribzie, Kamikaze , Hollywood, Chico, The Danish, Soupy, Beep, Matador
On Injured Reserve: The Rake, May Day, Spanky, Rocky, Tunzie, Hurricane
Tomcat Tournament: It goes Saturday February 27, the cost this year is $25. you get hockey, beer and tee shirt. Pizza after at Purples, price for pizza $10, pay the Turk.
Empties Help: Next week, Tuesday February 16 MOVED UP A WEEK, Sparky is looking for a couple of strong Tomcats to help in moving out the empties from the Tomcat room. Sparky is asking that you contact him directly on his texting machine and you are asked to be there at 6:15. Sparky says “Thanks for your Tomcat Spirit”.
Tomcat Skinny: Only two teams this week.
Soupy Makes the Teams…..
Tomcats Forever !
Happy Chinese New Year 2016! Year Of the Monkey by Harry Ballsonue
“Prosperity procures friends, but adversity proves them”
Publilius Syrus
Teams Were…..
Chico Chopsticks Chico, Lovie, Chevy, Spinner, Bulldog, Razor, Hurricane and Kamikaze
Sparky Dragons Sparky, Sunny, Snowpants, Stevo, Jingles, Falcon, El Choppo
Doc Thumb Torture Doc, Beep, Soupy, Cribzie, Shack, Green Giant, La Bamba and the Danish
I got to tell you, hockey was fantastic, great plays, great passes, great goals and some fantastic net minding. The players play fair and you don’t see any hacking and wacking and even though guys take it seriously, you can see there is no one trying out for an NHL team. “I think hockey has been great for a great number of weeks”, stated Cribzie and added, “Maybe the first few weeks were a bit intense, but I have to tell you, it is a joy to play on Tuesday night”. Cribzie concluded. There was even a ‘Hurricane Blows……Chevy’ yelled out by the Doc Thumb Torture.
Best part of the night is the 23 guys sitting on the stage and enjoying a cold pop.
The Sparky Dragons won the mini.
18 days to the tournament and everyone seems to be mindful of it, working hard to make the nice plays but nothing drastic where shins are being hacked.
Tournament on February 27 starts at 8:30 a.m. First two games to be played and then full Tomcat Team picture, Stevo’s favourite time of the year the full Tomcat Team Photo). Get a hair cut, don the new Tomcat Tee shirt and smile smile smile.
The President of the Windsor Tomcats Stevo with long time business adviser Ally Eagleson seen on the set of TSN’s Off the Record. “I love the Tomcats and I am looking forward to the Tournament, there is nothing like sitting around after and having a beer with your best 28 friends”.
Windsor Tomcats have been able to land a photo of a first round draft pick in 2016, Ogie’s boy Luca…
The Tomcat Website gets updated all the time…(Photos in ‘Tomcat Swag’ and in ‘Roster’) please consider checking it out and reading about your favourite Tomcats once again for the very first time.
FIRST TIME EVER
For the First time ever in Tomcat History, during a three team mini tournament, unplanned and totally by accident, the three goalies matched up with jersey colours of their own team. “It is unheard of”, stated Sparky a Captain of one of the teams The Sparky Dragons, “I don’t know what to do here, do you go out and buy a lottery ticket or do you go to the Casino, a strip joint, what? I am glad that the Tomcat media relations people noticed and took pictures of the three teams.” Concluded Sparky.
Chico Chopsticks
Doc Thumb Torturers
Sparky Dragon
REMINDER
Each Tournament Captain is obligated to buy a round of drinks for his own team back at Purples. Pizza will be served at 4p.m. at Purples, cost is only $10 payable to the Turk, so please consider participating and keep enjoying the Tomcat Brethren for another hour or so back at Purples. BUT please drink responsibly and or, have a D.D.
La Bamba in his second life, out side of hockey is also a Juke Box Repair man, here (below) you can see him working a machine so he can get it to play Lionel Ritchies ‘Hello’ and MIlli Vanilli’s ‘Girl You Know It’s True’. His two favourite songs in the whole wide world.
La Bamba juke box repair ….” I want this thing
To play Rod Stewarts ‘Hot legs’ …so I am trying
To fix it ” Stated La Bamba
EMPTIES REMOVAL NIGHT Has been changed to Tuesday Feb 16, (yes that is next week) If you can be at the Kapusta Kow Palace for 6:15 p.m. and Help Sparky empty out the Tomcat Room of empties, Sparky and the whole Tomcat organization would be grateful. If you can help, text Sparky and let him know that you will be there.
PURPLES IS SOLD Jerry and Morella have announced that as of April 1, 2016, new ownership is taking over Purples the Official Hang Out of the Windsor Tomcats. A good bye party is being planned (nothing solidified at this time) but possibly mark off March 26 as the day to come and have a drink and say good bye. Also not official, is that Ghost Crossing will be playing at the closing party. Attempts were made to contact Ghost Crossing bassist Hollywood, but he was not available for comment.
In ending, Matador was not in the line up and the Tomcats did not know he was not going to be there… according to some reports, he is in Mexico….are disciplinary roads going to be explored?
Hey while you are checking out Ally Eagleson and thinking, hmmmmmm….or wondering what song you would like to hear on LA Bamba’s Juke Box (La LA LA LA Bamba…) or what shot you might order at Purples, do you think, just for a moment, I could put my Harry Ballsonue.
Windsor Tomcats 