We wouldn’t know since there is no article.  Why is there no article you ask??  Well, you see there will be no articles until a certain 5 Tomcats submit their blog entries that they decided to skip over the summer.  Have you guys got the hint yet???

Step up boys!

Click here for all the details of this amazing journey of the world’s most famous sports trophy!

Anonymous contributer

I have been following your web site but I don’t play hockey myself, but I do admire the work that goes into your web site and how creative your bloggers are (Well the ones that have stepped up, of course…not the ones cowering under your porch).  One thing that I notice that is weird is that you have roughly about 30 players in your line up (see Roster tab above),  but only 6 have signed up to be notified of new blogs or articles that come up on your web site.  How interested are you in the Windsor Tomcats?  Do you really give a flying fa-huu-lee? You boys seem very lucky to have a place to play, great guys to hang out with (fromwhat I read about being on stage and drinking beers and such) and someone there organizes you to have exercise.  How incredible is that?  All you have to do is get there, throw on your Sketchers and you are on your way.

But to have only 6 signed up for notification???  That is sad!

I would think most of you are married….and maybe you have some gay players (percentage is one out of every ten is gay.  So when your wife (or boyfriend…<non bloggers inserted here>….and I mean insert boys, take it like a man!) is to let you know when you will be having sex, would it not be nice to be notified and reminded?  I would think so.

Keep the blogs coming, I have enjoyed them all this year and hope to continue reading them.

I play Australian Rules Football. I live in Melbourne, which is in the state of Victoria.  Check out the ‘Geelong Cats’  if you ever have a chance….that is how I tripped up on your web site.

Get your smart phones programmed and your house and office computer to ‘NOTIFY’ you when something new comes up on the Tomcat Web Site.

It was great reading about all the adventures and misadventures that my fellow Tomcats were engaged in this summer. With this blog coming the first week of September, the summer seems over with all the little tomcats returning to school and the season just two weeks away. Pools will soon be closed, and the hockey sticks taken out. Goalies, please air out your equipment before the first night! 
 
I had a hard time trying to decide what to write about. There was my trip to Poland with my wife Ania. The purpose was to attend the reunion of her fellow contestants in  the 1974 Miss Poland contest. Lovely ladies indeed, Polish women have the best legs. Once in Europe, I was overwhelmed with the number of fans of the Tomcats who follow our website. Everywhere I went, people shouted ” Hurricane, you’re the best”, but I think they were talking about my porn career, not my hockey skills. I wanted to help the underpriviledged kids of the former Soviet bloc countries improve their hockey skills, so I formed the Hurricane Helpful Hockey Hints skills program. Those kids loved it, and I kept it inexpensive for them. I evened agreed to accept food stamps in lieu of cash. 
 
I could blog indefinitely on further summer adventures, but I thought I should try, once and for all, to answer that one question I get all the time from fellow Tomcats and adoring fans, that is, “Is Chevy your son”? On the surface, there is substantial circumstantial evidence that points to this being true. They are as follows:
 
Uncanny physical resemblance (picture me with 1 or 2 more pounds)
Spouses are registered nurses
Spouses are brunettes
Matching Science degrees
Pharmaceutical career
Highly developed business acumen
First born is a daughter
Like beer
Drive Ford escapes
He shoots left, I shoot right (Symmetry of genes)
Gifted conversationalist
Gritty, don’t get us mad personalities.
 
Now, those Tomcats who are in law enforcement would say this evidence would not be enough of a rationale to undergo DNA testing to prove the family connection once and for all. However, there is one more piece of evidence I have never shared with Chevy or the Tomcats. Around the time of Chevy’s conception, I was a university student at the U of T. They had an exchange program with Queen’s University in Kingston ( Chevy’s birthplace and hometown), so I took advantage and attended Queen’s for one semester. As you can imagine, I was quite a stud and partier in those days and had the time of my life. I remember very little of it though, as I was in a constant state of fog the whole time due to drug and alcohol consumption. There were many conquests of the ladies, but very little recollection of them.
 
Of course, this means nothing until that faithful day I was at Chevy’s Lake Erie Estate helping him with some renovation work. His parents showed up, making the long trip from Kingston. Upon greeting his mother, giving her a hug and peck on the cheek hello, I was suddenly overcome with a devastating sense of deja vu! The softness of her cheek, the smell of her cologne, the way my arms fitted perfectly around her slim, sensual hips, a certain coy look from her, a wink and a pressing of her body against mine in that brief embrace was almost too much! I had to pull away quickly, to stop potential  embarassment. Could it be, could it really be true that his mother was of those girls way back then? The embrace left me deeply shaken and confused.
 
There was only one thing to do: get a DNA test. I investigated various laboratories who do this testing, but it is very expensive, and they would not accept Ukrainian food stamps as payment. There was only one choice, and that was to contact Chevy and ask him to come with me for testing and share the cost. Unfortunately, the truth will have to wait. Chevy was not exactly receptive to the idea, stating, and I quote ” Stay away from me, you frigging sick bastard!” Some people are just afraid to discover the truth.

With that fellas, I look forward to seeing you in two weeks.

Hurricane<!– has been replace here –>

Click here to read the latest St. Felix.

Hey Tomcats,

Have to share this special moment. Can you imagine meeting a rock and roll legend “in person”?! Lorraine and I just returned back from London, England after soaking in some of the 2012 summer Olympics and the closing ceremonies as the finale. What a show! And I still think I can run faster than that Usian Bolt, especially in the Kow Palace, as Cribz would attest. He wasn’t on the ballot to perform at the closing ceremonies but who do we meet at the airport? Yes, the Red Rocker himself, Sammy Hagar with his wife Kari. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After taking several pictures, getting a personal autograph, and a mention that Sammy and I share the same birthday, go figure, Sammy invites us to his annual Birthday Bash at his Cabo Wabo Cantina in Cabo San Lucas this October. The tequila will be flowing, I can assure you.

Guys, as touching as this was to a dream come true, what a better time to decide to tie the knot down south at the Cabo Wabo Cantina this October. Pack your bags and come witness a party to remember. Lorraine has no idea what’s in store but to have the Tomcat brethren in attendance is icing on the cake. Hope you guys consider and can make it down. Given we now have two free passes, I think I can afford a nice gem to place on her finger too.

The Tomcats have welcomed Snowpants graciously into the organization from Day 1. I am honoured and thank all of you for your friendship, all the laughs and jokes, the fierce competition each and every one of you bring each week to the Kow Palace and not to mention all the fun. God bless you all and may we remain the best bunch of guys an organization has to offer.

Tomcats Forever!!!

… Snowpants

COACH – Hey Skippy, GM wants to see you after practice.

SKIPPY – Ok – (he heads upstairs to the GM’s office)

GM – Hey Skippy I have good news and bad news, what do you want 1st?

SKIPPY: Doesn’t matter

GM: The good news is the Skipjacks want to keep you, but then again you own the team. The bad news is the Tomcats see us going in a different direction and effective immediately, you have been released. The Tomcats would like to thank you for your service and wish you well in your future endeavors.
 
Skippy is seen feverishly texting his agent Yurihandonmykak or whatever the fuck his name is.
 
Two hours later in the Tomcat Room…
 
GM – We let Skippy go. His agent and some guys who pay on that Minor League team he owns were driving me insane and my Bullshit Meter is real fucking sensitive anymore.

COACH: Thank goodness – These fucking goalies are driving me crazy. They all want to be Coach, GM and President. I don’t fucking get these players anymore.

GM – Let’s have an MGD

COACH – Let’s have two.

The summer drags on and fans and players alike are already counting down the days left to return to the Kapusta Kow Palace.  Like waiting for Christmas, true fans know there are only 30 days left before the sounds of feet running up and down the Kapusta are heard and another season of highlight goals and saves are spoken of in awe around the water cooler.  True fans also religiously punch in “Windsor Tomcats” into thier computer search engines and are directed to one of the coolest looking web sites around.  A great place, regardless of the 70% or lower of blogs coming in, to keep up with your favourite players enjoying their summer time off.

Hockey must be close, because as I checked the web page today I was reminded to query the beer list and decided to take a look.  That look turned into a double take as hidden in the beer list was some VERY interesting Tomcats news.  It seems management has made some decisions which haven’t really made the headlines of late; like the full time status granted to Labamba, The Matador and a new player yet to be tagged with a nickname.  Until that happens I will call him “Ocho Ockle.”  I went back into the St Felix archives and could only find one remote mention of any roster changes.  Back in the St Felix summer issue there was an article entitled, “Some interesting tidbits of information.”  Reading further into the article one would find the mention of “Status of players” and I paraphrase the following:  “Tomcats are unsure of the return of Nick Lelyk, Youngblood is expected to return (Barring any issues with medical staff), another player remains the property of another club, and NO OTHER PLAYERS ARE NOT RETURNING; but management will do a survey in late August.  The next player to move up is The Matador (If he can commit), and Labamba (Could be part time player at best with work schedule conflicts).”

It appears Tomcats management has done away with the need for a survey, or to consult with their internal advisory board.  It also appears The Matador has committed, and Labamba’s work conflcits have been ironed out.  Thing is I don’t recall a press conference to announce any of this, or to welcome a new player (Ocho Ockle); nor does any article address Bundura trading in his stripes for a Tomcat white and dark tee.  In terms of seniority the addition of The  Matador and Labamba make sense, I’ve seen both play and both are solid guys, but adding a “new” player like Ocho Ockle into the mix?  I checked the most recent roster and counted 29 FULL TIME Tomcats, which doesn’t include thier goalie roster.  In past overheard locker room conversations I’ve heard more than one long time Tomcat comment on the amount of players the team is carrying.  The number has lead to a marked increase in “mini tournaments”, which some players have embraced and others have criticized.  That criticism may have reared its ugly head on the night a mini tournament was likely to happen, but only enough players showed up to save a cancelled night of hockey.

Adding fuel to the mix I caught up with part time/casual Tomcat players Nick Wilson and Deeds (Skippy’s Brother in Law).  Both were surprised at the news.  Wilson responded, “The Tomcats, when I did play, accepted me with full open arms and I thought I played well enough to warrant an invitation back.  I’m disappointed management hasn’t contacted me to clarify a few things with the season not too far off, but I will continue to work on my game and hope to get a call up soon.  Regarless of what happens this season, I am hopeful to participate again in the outdoor classic, and I look forward to a rematch of the Skipjacks and Tomcats for the Tilston Challenge Cup and of course I would love to play in the February Tournament”.

Plenty of unanswered questions, and maybe some new ones created when ‘Official’ word is released by Tomcats management.  With only 30 days remaining some decisions will have to be made.

Till the ball drops in both facilities, I will be busy letting Stevo (the non consulting manger) place his HANDZONMECAC.

Yurri

THE TOMCATS HAVE PROVIDED THE FOLLOWING PRESS RELEASE: “As in the real world of hockey (NHL) rumours and player trades and moves are always discussed.  Players are sometimes signed before a team can officially announce that player being named to the team. (Physicals, Insurances, Housing etc)  The Tomcats are no different.  In assessing our needs for the upcoming season, we need to look at the bigger picture and make decisions based on needs of the organization, instead on of what some bloggers, friends of players and disgruntled players who may not be impressed by mini tournaments think. It is every Hockey Clubs responsibility to select the best possible players for their organization. Announcements, in due time, will be made in regards to the roster for the upcoming season.  The Windsor Tomcats encourage everyone to check the Tomcat Web Site for up to date information. The St. Felix still proves to be a valuable journalist tool and one that is filled with information that satisfies the Rapacious Tomcat Fan who has an appetite for Tomcat news and updates.

The Tomcats wish to thank their fans for their continued support.”

Unlike the Tomcats before me, I did not have any self-enlightening trips to Tibet or the corner of Wyandotte and Ouellette, although I hear from my neighbour, Junior Passion, that the women are spectacular in both. I, however, would like to further my cousin Sunny Salaris’ posting, and tell the story of the aforementioned hockey game pitting the Windsor Tomcats against the PTown Pig Farmers.

While on the 2-week stint in Petrolia, with Sunny and Lovie, I took it upon myself to spread word of the Windsor Tomcats and their great influence in the Windsor area. I had intended on decorating myself from head to toe with Tomcat swag, but I soon came to realize that my only items of clothing were a toque, and a Tomcats t-shirt. I asked Sunny and Lovie for their help in this matter, they quickly came to aide providing me with loads of Tomcat swag. Much to my dismay, Lovie provided me with a custom, Tomcats black lace thong with “TOMCATS FOREVER” on the front and a picture of Stevo’s face on the rear. He assured me it was not weird, and I was not about to question him, given his reputation on the Kapusta Kow floor. The Ptown locals were so impressed with my display of Tomcat swag; they set up a meeting with the town mayor, Pizza Pete. During this meeting, in the back room of Pete’s Pizzeria, with hardcore porn playing in the background, Pizza Pete asked the three of us, “who are these Tomcats you speak of?” Before I could answer, still wearing my Tomcats thong and t-shirt, Sunny jumped in, and to quote the legendary WWF wrestling crew D-Generation X, “Oh you didn’t know? Your ass better call somebody!” Pizza Pete didn’t want to call anybody, so the three of us just told him the story of the Windsor Tomcats. He was very impressed, so we went for a lap dance from the one armed town stripper Roxie Sweetcocker at the Squire Tavern. Oddly enough, Roxie was well aware of the Windsor Tomcats, mentioning that she had done a private show at their Christmas party years back. Given the thumbs up from Roxie, Pizza Pete proposed a challenge to the Windsor Tomcats, and here we are today.

Looking forward to the upcoming season!

Soupy

BTW – If you haven’t already, check out the Beer Schedule tab above to see when the Tomcats expect you to bring beer this coming season!

Here are some tidbits that might not be well known by all Tomcats…

• The 2012-2013 Beer List is up.  Check out that tab to see when you are the hook this coming season
• The Tomcat web site is mobile enabled so go ahead and check this site out from your smart phone
• On the right hand side of this page, you can give your email and then receive notifications any time something new is posted.  Great way to stay up-to-date with Tomcat Nation
• Anyone can leave comments to any article on here (see “leave comment” at top of this post) and the most recent comments will be listed on the right hand side under “What’s been said recently…”  Go ahead and comment.  All bloggers love to receive feedback and makes for great Tomcat banter!
• The average length of an african elephant penis is about 2 meters and most of it is not visible. It weighs about 25 kg or 55 lbs. The record is 6 and a half feet  long!