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Dear Tomcats:
My mom took me to the outdoor game this year and I got to see the Tomcats after the game, from a distance as you ‘tailgated’ in the Polish Hall Parking lot, you seemed like a very tight knit group, even with a lot of outsiders, is that the way it is on stage after at the Kapusta Kow Palace?
Francis Boulian, age 13
Tabernack Quebec
Dear Francis:
Is your mom a hottie? Next time have her come to the gate where security is and have her show her titties to the security guard, she will be allowed in (if she has a nice rack) you will have to stay in parking lot of course. She can then tell you about what it is like in the circle of the Tomcats.
Thanks for being a fan!
T.C.
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Dear Tomcats:
My mom told me that after one of your games she came into Purples and some of you were there hanging around, but security was really tight and no one was allowed near you guys. If I came around would Crow, or Lovie sign a jersey for me?
Cameron MacDonald, age 12
Little Falls Nebraska
Dear Cameron:
Is your mom a hottie? Next time have her come to security and have her show her titties to the security guard, she will be allowed in (if she has a nice rack) make sure you do not come, as you will have to stay in parking lot, outside, of course. She can then tell you about what it is like in the circle of the Tomcats.
T.C.
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Dear Tomcats:
I hear that the Windsor Tomcats are coming out with a 2013-14 Windsor Tomcat Program. Is it possible to get one. My mom and I are big fans and would love to have one. What are the chances? My mom is 45 and I’m 25…and we just love the Tomcats. We both plan to be at the opening night on September 17 as we already have our tickets!
Cindy Lopez
Slippery Rock, Alta.
Dear Cindy:
Are you and your mom a hot? On the 17th come to security and show your titties to the security guard, Gate T, you will be allowed in (if both of you have a nice rack) If one of you do not have a nice rack, you will not be allowed in, but the other will and she can grab you a Program (if there are any left)….there won’t be, but hey if you have a nice rack, then come on by!
T.C.
Go ahead, order that second beer or have another on stage: You deserve it because you’re so smart. According to the greatest study in the history of science (we’re only slightly exaggerating), smarter people tend to drink “more frequently and in greater quantities” than their duller, drier peers. In two studies conducted in the United States and United Kingdom, children’s intelligence was measured and categorized in five groups ranging from “very dull” to “very bright.” When the study participants were assessed later in life (the Brits checked in from their 20s to their 40s) the “brighter” kids were the ones who emptied more glasses more often. Why? No one is exactly sure yet. Anybody want to drink on it?
The weather could not have been any better for the 2013 annual Tomcat Golf Tournament. St. Felix was looking down on the boys and made sure the temperature was perfect, not a cloud in th sky and a nice gentle breeze…absolute perfection!
The boys prepare for tee off!
Speaking of perfection, Razor, the resident Tomcat scratch golfer, took away all the honours on the day…Longest drive, both closest to the pins, lowest score and the award for the best outfit. Razor had to rent a Uhaul to carry home his prizes.
Perfect form from the razor
When you shoot like Razor, you can dress in bright colours and flex all you want!
Special thanks go out to Snowpants for planning and running the event once again. The poor guy had to sell his car to help pay for the event costs and ended up having to ride his bike to the course!
Though slightly oversized for Snowpants, this BMX is his only mode of transporation for now.
Nothing beats a Snowpants smile!
Thanks also go out to the sponsors of the prize donations….including Chevy and ‘Amy’s Helping Hands,’ olong with Crow and “Lakeshore Auto All Makes All Models.” These tournaments would not occur without their generosity!
Huge applause go out to Hollywood for providing the meal and venue afterwards. Hollywood does this every year it seems which is greatly appreciated!
Finally, a ‘super solid’ goes out to Ogie (our Tomcat of the week). He provided a case of 24 for the golfers eventhough he was unable to take part himself! Remember that next time you see Ogie and make sure to give him his due.
Finally, ever heard of a Rake Sandwich? Killer found himself in one on the course…
Another great Tomcat event in the books!
Tomcats Forever!
Dear Tomcats:
Why did you guys go with an orange long sleeve shirt this past year?
Joan Stevens-Kildare, 42 years old
Fox Trot New Mexico
Dear Joan,
That is a good question!
W.T.
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Dear Tomcats:
I notice on the black tee shirt, with the yellow logo, there is a red stripe. Does that red stripe signify anything?
Johnny Deans, 12 years old
Southern Plains, Alberta
Dear Johnny,
Thank you for your very astute question. Yes Johnny, the red stripe does signify something, it means a Tomcat is willing to go down on his lady when it is that ‘time of the month’.
W.T.
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Dear Tomcats:
My favorite Tomcat is Snowpants, but when I google ‘Snowpants’, I just get information on ‘Snow Pants’ in Northern Face catalogues. Could you tell me if he is married, does he have children and what does he like to do when he is not playing Tomcat hockey? Does he follow the NFL at all and what is his favorite team? Who is his favorite band/musician?
Crystal Amber , age 34
Las Vegas, Nevada
Dear Crystal,
Snowpants is probably the most popular Tomcat. Snowpants is not married, and does not have any children, but he is deeply in love with his ‘women friend’ L. When he is not playing hockey, he is an avid golfer. Yes Snowpants loves the NFL and cheers for the San Francisco 49’rs. Snowpants loves Sammy Hager, the Red Rocker.
W.T.
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Dear Tomcats:
My two favorite Tomcats are Rocky and Cribzie, can you tell me a little something (secret) about them, that I may not know already?
Liz Fairchild, age 38
Lisbon, Texas
Dear Liz,
Rocky and Cribzie are the two classiest guys you would ever want to meet. They are both kind souls and love being Tomcats. As far as a secret, Cribzie loves to wear number 23 and Rocky is a drummer and can bang the skins pretty good.
W.T.
Thanks for all your emails and letters, keep them coming and we will repeat this feature a few more times in the coming months.
Tomcat Management
Team Roster for Tomcats: STEVO, DOC, CHICO, HOLLYWOOD, ROCKY, SOUPY, CROW and RAZOR
Team Roster for Minx: SCHNEIDER, THE CLEAVER, SERTA, ROXY, MRS. RAZOR, JAZZY JAZZ and RINGER.
Score Keepers, Spares and Spectators: Meshe Gagnon, Katie, Kim (Loxy), Lynn (Foxy), James.
For almost 25 years the Windsor Tomcats have enjoyed an estrogen free environment, but that all changed on the 1st of June when the newly formed Windsor Minx hosted their first annual Volleyball competition at “On the Beach” in Tecumseh. Thanks to everyone who came out and made the event such a success!!
In a 3 game series, the Tomcats took 2 solid wins and the Minx took 1 awesome victory. “Jazzy Jazz” won a well deserved Best player of the evening prize and “Doc” was devastated by being voted Worst Player, some tears, an undershirt and blood were shed by “Doc” thanks to “Crow”, the scrappy sand brawler. After the competition was over, the teams mixed and the Tomcats and Minx played a few friendly games, although some sand-wrestling and talking-smack continued throughout the entire event.
Doc and Jodi get up after their wrestling match in the sand. Jodi won, of course.
There was only one real casualty of the evening….Chico started the event ass over tea kettle off the picnic table and ended the evening with possibly two broken toes….which means it was a good night!!
Dawned in their V-neck, logo clad, skin tight, fusia T-Shirts, the Windsor Minx displayed proudly their team moto. “The Better Half Division of the Windsor Tomcats”. “Stevo” was overheard to have said “never did a Tomcat team photo look so good!!”
Best looking Tomcat (I mean Minx) team photo ever taken.
Following Volleyball everyone headed over to “Doc” and “The Cleavers” house to continue the festivities!! And continue they did…..till roughly 2am. The hot tub and pool were put to good use, setting an all time record for hot tub occupancy of 10 people. Doc could be seen the following day adding about 2 feet of water to the very empty tub.
Tomcats and Minx set a record for most people ever in the Brewin hot tub.
There were a few times that the pool seemed a little too crowded with men (SausageFest)…it is believed that “Doc” and “Chico” master planned an idea to get the girls in the pool…”Chico” called “Schneider” for a drink while Doc did the unthinkable and took “Schneider” out by tossing her in the pool with her clothes on…
The Chip ‘n’ Dales made an appearance at the after party!
From Left to Right…Foxy, Roxy and Loxy at the after party.
Music, libations, food, friends and fun were the themes of the evening; a great time was had by all!! If you were hoping for some more juicy after party stories…..I’m afraid you’re not getting any, what happens at the Tomcats Vs Minx parties stays at the Tomcats vs Minx parties!!! You will have to participate next year to find out!
Thank God for double knots 😉
As a final note: The Windsor Minx are looking for more group members. If you are the female companion of a Tomcat and want to participate in future events please e-mail Schneider at dijana_w78@hotmail.com or The Cleaver at jodiburniston@hotmail.com Social events for the Windsor Minx are being planned for the future and we would love to have you with us…..stay tuned!!
Signing out
The Cleaver and Schneider
Blog stories to follow soon…
Best looking Tomcat team photo ever taken.
“The Gang” taking part in the first ever Tomcat vs Minx event.
Doc and Jodi get up after their wrestling match in the sand. Jodi won, of course.
“Wow Look! There is a ball in the air and it is coming our way,” Hollywood stated.
Hollywood prepares to bump the ball to Stevo
Someone take it!!!
The Tomcats tried to hit the ball high as it provided more time to check out the Minx in their spandex outfits without being caught gawking 🙂
Roxy Comartin positions herself to dig the ball
Soupy serves the ball on match point
“Missed it by that much.” Great effort though!
The Minx “Ringer” makes a backwards save to keep the ball in play.
Stevo shows he still has what it takes to keep up with the young ladies…at least on the sand court.
Stevo gets ready to set up James on the weak side.
The world has never been so divided as the current day. Everything you read in the news, hear on the TV and radio, or discuss with coworkers and friends tends to take on one political slant or the other. “Harper doesn’t care about the environment, the NDP are the closest thing to Marxism, the Liberals just don’t get it…blah, blah, blah!” While talking politics is fun (NOT!), this is the Tomcat Hockey Blog and hockey is definitely more fun than politics (and probably less violent).
So when it comes to hockey, are you a lefty or a righty? Looking at the 1071 NHL players and prospects, 65% shoot left. Among forwards, 61% shoot left while 72% of the defencemen have left handed sticks.
When the vast majority of people are right-hand dominant (about 85% of the population), why is it that so many hockey players shoot left? Doing some research, it appears one valid argument why people should use a stick opposite of their dominant hand (right hand people shoot left, left handed people shoot right) is as follows:
- When you shoot left, the hand in the middle of the stick is your left hand, and the hand at the top of the stick is your right hand. When you are skating fast, or stretching to reach a far away puck, you end up with only your top hand on the stick – as explained above, in the case of a left shot player, that would be your right hand. That is why right handed people (which is most people) end up shooting left – so that when they have to handle their stick with just one hand, it is their dominant right hand.
So if shooting left handed is really the superior approach for the majority of right-handed people, I thought it would be interesting to look at the top 20 scorers of all-time to see if the statistics pan out. Here they are:
Wayne Gretzky L
Gordie Howe R/L (ambidextrous)
Brett Hull R
Marcel Dionne R
Phil Esposito L
Mike Gartner R
Mark Messier L
Steve Yzerman R
Mario Lemieux R
Jaromir Jagr L
Teemu Selanne R
Luc Robitaille L
Brendan Shanahan R
Dave Andreychuk R
Joe Sakic L
Bobby Hull L
Dino Ciccarelli R
Jari Kurri R
Mark Recchi L
Mike Bossy R
SIDENOTE: Is it just me or did many of the guys above where the Winged-wheel in their careers??? Anyways, I digress…so of the 20 top scorers of all-time, only 8 shoot left. A majority (12 of 20 or 60%) shoot right.
So how about the Tomcats? According to the player profiles on this website, here is the shooting hand breakdown:
Turk L
Sunny R
Cribz R
Junior R
Hollywood L
Killer L
Doc R
Mayday R
Sparky R
Rocky R
Snowpants L
Crow R
Chevy L
Mez R
The Rake L
Spinner L
Jingles R
Stevo L
Bulldog R
LaBamba R
Zaba R
Lovie L
Hurricane R
Soupy R
Matador R
Beep L
Chico R
Ogie L
Flintstone L
Eagle L
Bubbles L
Crispy R
Finner L
45% (15 of 33) of the Tomcats shoot left, while 18 of 33 (55%) shoot right.
Conclusion: If the Tomcats have more right handed shooters and there are more right handed shooters in the list of top 20 all-time NHL scorers, then it must be better to lean to the right (even if current NHL stats and the main stream media say it is not).
Yours in hockey,
Howie Feltersnatch
Tomcats Forever!
By Harry Ballsonue
I have one more blog to write before I go to Costa Rica, for the summer and spend some time with my wife, she lives there full time and sells sea shells on the beach.
I have read Stevo’s last two blogs…some very interesting information. It was a good year and I would think each and every Tomcat is happy, content and joyed.
First of all I am impressed that 38 jackets were ordered and the Tomcats paid money for everyone to get a jacket. (I know, each player paid $25 bucks for the 25 anniversary) That is a pretty cool thing to do. The jackets turned out great and look very cool.
The Tomcat Christmas Gala at Rock Bottom I know was a success and I see that this year, Chevy is in charge with his helpers, Sunny and Snowpants.
Tournament this year was very good. Doc will be a great addition at helping Stevo set it up this year. It seems like a great deal of work and Doc will no doubt pick up a lot from watching Stevo this year and then be able to carry the ball next year.
The Tomcat Tournament picture turned out great, except for the fact that Beep did not make it into the picture.
Statistically the Tomcats had the same amount of Mini’s compared to just regular 2 teams playing this year as last.
The Out Door Classic was fun this year, with no ‘gimmicks’ between periods and the Black Hogs put on a real show, when they needed it.
For next year, Snowpants will be a Captain for the very first time in the Stanley’s Cup. A dubious honour, to say the least. Returning Captains will be Jingles (will he use the Jingle’s Jets?) Lovie, of the Lovieville Flyers and Stevo and you can always count on him to be the Stevo Stingrays.
I will not see you guys at the June 14 golf outing as I will be in Costa Rica, but you know, I would love to put my Harry Ballsonue.
Look early, look often. Add reminders to your calendar, set your alarm, tie a string to an appendage…do whatever you have to do to remember what dates you are expected to supply beer for your Tomcat brethren. No excuses to miss or forget.
Tomcats Forever!
This year, the Board of Directors consisted of, The Rake, Razor, Rocky, Jingles,, Snowpants, Hollywood and me. Next year it may be different, but for now, this is what we have. One point, right at the ‘get go’, The Rake’s daughter was celebrating a birthday but The Rake still found time to come out to the meeting and be a participant. Solid move by the Rake!
What I would like to do in this blog is to provide you with information as to some of the aspects discussed and some of the new ‘rules’, ‘ideas’ and ‘thoughts’ that have been adopted.
Here we go….
Christmas Party (for Tomcats and significant other), Friday November 29, 2013, Organizers, Chevy, Sunny and Snowpants. Tournament Captains, will not be given a present from Tomcats, starting in this year’s tournament. Delay of Game, (by shooting/flicking the ball into the player bench) will be a 30 second penalty in Mini and a 1 minute penalty in the Stanley’s Cup Tournament. Behind the Net Safety Zone to be once again, explained in a future issue of the St. Felix. Dead Ball Rule, (Reinforced) if the ball is shot out of play, team that gets it, is to wait for the other team to be in place for play to begin. Ball On Net Rule (Reinforced) You get one wack at the ball if it is on at the back of a net.
No Ref for first mini of next year to see if players can police themselves. You must have an email address that will give you updates to Tomcat information on an ongoing basis, your best email will be sought out by Rocky and used.
Doc has been selected as an assistant to me for the tournament. He will observe, learn, watch and study how everything is done in preparation for the tournament and will then take over as the Tournament Co-Ordinator for the 2015 Stanley’s Cup Tournament.
3 minute tie breaker for all timed games, (mini or regular Tuesday night two team game). The clock will be set to go for 3 minutes of overtime and it will be a 3-3 (plus a goalie) affair. If it remains a tie, it will be recorded as a tie. If a goal is scored in OT. Team that wins will get two points, team that loses will get one point. (This is only for Tuesday night) Stanley’s Cup Tournament will remain the same. If a tie in the Championship, four on four play…to determine a winner. Sudden death until someone scores.
7 Minute Periods; Tuesday night, Mini Tournaments will now be 7 minutes in length, rather than 6 minutes. The score clock will be started up (for 2 Minutes) between periods, and teams will commence play after the two minutes are done.
Stanley’s Cup Tournament to be held, Saturday February 22, 2014. Captain for the tournament: Snowpants Snow Squalls, Jingles Jets, Lovieville Flyers and the Stevo Stingrays.
Tomcat Skipjack Game; Tomcats not sold on participating in this event for 2014, the game will be put to a vote by all members, instead of just the Board of Directors determining it’s faith.
Blogs by Tomcats, each member is encouraged to write a blog, if they want to and submit it to Rocky. You do not have to, if you do not wish to.
Information about you: Rocky will be sending out an email to each and every Tomcat asking them some ‘Human Interest’ questions such as ‘if someone was to play you in a movie, who would it be’, ‘ a pet peeve’, and ‘If you can be anyone who would you be’. Questions like that. The information that YOU provide will be used in the ‘Tomcat Of The Week’ segment. So please respond back to Rocky when you get your list of questions.
Past Issues of St. Felix are to be placed on the Tomcat Web Site. It will be done slowly, but we hope to get the past 5 years up for all to see by the end of the summer.
That is all there is for now.
I wish everyone a safe and enjoyable Summer, we are back on September 17, 2013. 6:30 Start.
Tomcats Forever
Stevo
This blog is to fill you in on what the survey’s revealed and to provide information on some other stuff too. First of all a big thanks to everyone who filled out a survey. I received 29 of them, which, in itself is quite remarkable.
SO, where do I begin. I think with the most interesting; Doc would like to be President. He was the only one that ticked that tab and I thank him for considering it. He may very well become the new president of the Tomcats. In the near term, Doc will be tasked to help plan the annual Stanley’s Cup Tournament – a key task for any potential President. A number of you expressed interest in being on the Board of Directors and I have invited some from that list to be on the Board.
The St. Felix is to stay. Only one person, indicated ‘I think website has taken over’, the rest said comments such as ‘Stays, Keep it, should not be eliminated, keep it going, yes-love it, Always a good read, yes, great source of information and amusement, love the St. Felix, very good read, keep it coming, it can be fun reading, keep it, keep it going, enjoy it, it is valuable resource, it is great, still look forward to it and then Killer said ” simply put, you don’t know what you’ve got until it is gone”. I put Killer’s name to his quote, because in all the responses about do you visit the web sit and how many times a week, Killer was the only one to say, he does not because he does not think to do so.
So, when it comes to the web site, I was astonished at how many said they visit it all the time, (Almost everyone) and the amount of times people go on it: 3-6, 3-4, 2-3, 7, 5, 3-4, 3, 6, Some said, 1-2 and only a couple said once a week. I think it is great that people are going on it and Rocky reports to me on the number of hits we get during some portions of the season, so, both Rocky and I thank you for going on. Rocky deserves pretty much all the credit, as he is the one that puts the stuff up and runs the site. Thanks of course to Harry, Heywood, Yuri, Bloggie and all the rest who contribute.
So here is some stuff that I want everyone to know….not everyone wants to be a Captain on a Tuesday night for the mini and some do not want to be a Captain for the main tournament. I respect that, so, if asked to be one on a Tuesday, please just tell me, “I do not wish to be a Captain”. I have always thought sharing and spreading the Captaincy was the way to get everyone involved…but I can see that, that may not be the case, so I will not be offended if you turn the Captaincy down.
As for Comments on Tuesday night hockey, everyone loves it. Which is great to hear. There were some comments about scaling back the players and that the best game is/was 2 teams on a Tuesday and 2 spares a side. I totally agree with those comments and if I could get the same 14-16 guys to come out each week, with out anyone ever bailing, then I would do that, but that is not reality. With shift work, child care issues, injuries, illnesses, and other duties to be looked after, I know not everyone can make it each and every Tuesday, thus the number of guys that we have.
I can tell you that we will not be letting anyone new join this year and that Ogie remains as a part time player. Other Part time players this year also include, Crow, Killer, La Bamba, Mez and Skippy. So, with these 4 on part time status…we will have pretty good turnouts and unfortunately Mini’s.
But on the plus side, and there is a reason for everything, we all love each other and there is not a greater group of 38 guys any where in Essex County, no check that, Canada…no hold on…the World…so we are lucky to all know each other and be friends, cuz “no man is a failure who has friends”…(Clarence the Angel said that, from ‘Its a Wonderful Life’)
Two quick points, June 14 is the Tomcat Golf Day, there will be an email coming out, and Snowpants, the Minister of Golf-Pyrotechnics, Heating and Cooling and Swiftering is in charge of that, so please get a hold of him, I really would love to see us have our largest group of golfers ever….even if you don’t really golf, come on out and participate.
As for Blogs to continue in the summer, I leave that up to you. 38 possible bloggers, as 38 jackets were handed out. I am not asking anyone to do anything that they do not want to, feel uncomfortable doing…but if you wanted to write something, so that Rocky could post it up on a Wednesday, Rocky’s email is ccomartin5@cogeco.ca feel free to send him a picture of yourself in your Speedo, a picture of your wife in her Speedo, a story about you farting in a hot tub and diarrhea shit coming out, whatever you, as a Tomcat want to write about. Write about it. Blue Sky It. and always end it, Tomcats Forever!
Windsor Tomcats 