Rocky to Take Over, Stevo Steps Down by Harry Ballsonue

Sure, there was big news with the Toronto Maple Leafs getting first pick over all the other night, and Ted Cruz backs out of being the Republican leader, but wait, there is bigger news then that….
in the Tomcat hockey world, and the news is that Rocky is the new President of the Tomcats and Sparky and Snowpants have been added as vice presidents.

“I am very excited to be taking over, I thank the Tomcat organization for trusting me.” Rocky had said.

In other news, The tournament format will remain the same, but the periods will go to 7 minutes and there will only be 3 minutes between games and 2 minutes between periods. This is to be strictly
enforced by the refs.

A crease rule was discussed at some length, but the only thing to come out of that is that the refs will need to watch goaltender interference.

The refs are asked to make some calls come tournament time and not just keep their whistles in their pockets.

Sheep Dog and El Choppo have been added as full time Tomcats. “That’s two cases of MGD in bottles”, to the Tomcats indicated Sparky, “I’m glad we made two new Tomcats”.

The four captains for tournament….going with the original 4….Turk….May Day …Hurricane and Bulldog ….” It’s an honour to be a Captain we hope Turk accepts”. Stated Razor.

More riveting details of the Board of Directors meeting will be provided in a future St. Felix.

“We had 14 guys out to this meeting”, stated Snowpants, and added, “that is a good number of guys, these guys seem to care about the product and came out to endorse, it, discuss it, protect
it”.

The Kentucky 4 went to Kentucky of all places as the year end trip after Tomcat hockey …” We like to go and unwind after a long hockey season, play some golf, drink some Homey Bourbon and just chillax”..stated Sheep Dog.

Anyone interested in joining the Kentucky Fore next year, is asked to contact the Sea Lion.

This year, the Kentucky Fore got a condo, and for four nights, for 4 breakfasts, for two rounds of golf they paid $300.

They then Paid, $24 dollars at a beautiful course called The Bull at Boones’ Trace and $29 dollars for Gibson’s Bay…(look up these courses on the net if you wish.) They also played Cherry Blossom and
Longview, both very very nice courses.

“Honey Bourbon seemed to be the drink of choice when toasting a birdie this year” stated Sea Lion and continued, “and, well…we had a few birdies out there”.

Sheep Dog and Cribzie take time from their busy round to pose for a picture ….” Surprisingly we are being recognized here in Kentucky …they love hockey here” indicated Cribzie.

While you are checking out the dreamy Cribzie in the photo, and thinking, I should go on that trip next year, I think I might like Honey Bourbon, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.

Click here to read the June 2016 (219) issue of the St. Felix

Tomcats Season Comes to a Close by Harry Ballsonue

“Walking with a Friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”

Helen Keller

Teams

Matador Mustangs Matador, Sunny, Hurricane, Killer, Sparky, Stevo, Razor, Jingles and Turk

Tunzie Tornados Tunzie, Lovie, Bulldog, Rocky, Cribzie, Spinner, Doc, Hollywood and Chico

Soupy Skylark Soupy, Chevy, Snowpants, Kamikaze, El Choppo, Ogie, Sheepdog and Falcon

Einstein once said that creativity is everything I don’t know if he had an opinion or what he said about floor hockey feistiness, “Oh it was a bit Feisty out there tonight for some reason, maybe guys are thinking the NHL is looking for some guys for the playoffs”, stated Sunny.

Just a reminder for next year, “PLAY THE BALL” !!!

Last night of hockey was melancholy as it was Lovie’s last day with the Tomcats, players cleaned out their lockers and said their good byes.  There is no team trip to Vegas…..4 guys are going to Kentucky at the end of April to Golf.  The Tomcat golf tournament is when some will see each other. “It’s tough saying good bye to such a great guy”, stated Sunny, “Lovie will be missed”, Sunny added.

Everyone seemed to like the ‘end of the season’ gift, “I’m not sure if we had so many guys out because it was the last night of hockey, because the weather was a bit cool or if it was because we handed out a gift to everyone on the last night, If it’s the gift, then maybe we should do a gift every Tuesday night” stated Rocky.

La Bamba, although not able to play, came out for a beer and a dog, really there is not better Tomcat Spirit then that! Hot Dog night, proved to be a success thanks to the Rake for doing that for the Tomcats, he purchased the dogs and made the cheesy party potatoes.  Doc contributed with mustard, ketchup, onions and relish.  Ogie came in with bags of chips.

Speaking of Ogie he made an appearance as a call up and showed he has the legs and brains to play with the Tomcats.

Future Tomcat searches stage for his dad…

Uncle Turk says “have a beer”, Sparky the dad says …”he is a rye drinker”.

Uncle Stevo says “I’ll start negotiations this summer with Young Luca ….we hope the negotiations go well …looking at a 6 year …30 million deal “.

Razor has been fined a case of beer to be paid on the first night of hockey next year, as he dug into the cooler and grabbeda beer while the final buzzard had not rung.

Shack never called in to say he was not playing, so Shack has been fined a 6 pack to be paid on the first night of hockey when he plays. Special thanks to my fellow journalist Chase de Possie for covering for me and writing some excellent blogs.

Lovie was the last Tomcat to walk out of the Kapusta Kow on the last night of hockey…Good Bye Lovie!

Stevo looks up to the UFO as they come to take Lovie away as he exits the Kapusta Kow …

Some Friendly Reminders:

May 1 June St. Felix will be coming out, please make sure you have a gander.

May 3 is the Board of Directors meeting, YOU MUST…..YOU MUST let Stevo know if you are going.  Right now, Doc, Matador, Kamikaze, Hurricanem Cribzie, Sheed Dog,  May Day, Razor, Rocky, Sparky, Snowpants, Jingles and Stevo are attending, the meeting is at Stevo’s House, he is ordering Pizza and putting beer on ice, so if you plan to go, let him know.  Meeting is at 6:30PM.

June 17 is the Tomcat Golf Tournament, place is Sutton Creek, time is 10 a.m. Details have been provided by Snowpants, if you need to know what they are or need clarification, please contact Snowpants.

While you are sitting there thinking, ‘man I can’t believe the season is over’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue

What the Tomcats THINK they know for  April  1 9    By Management

Beer Bringers:    Tomcats   Supplying beer and Hot Dogs

Tomcat Parting Gift: If you come out on the last night of hockey, the Tomcats will be giving you a ‘ never before given/provided thought of, dreamt of ‘ gift .

Net Minders: Razor, Falcon,  Chico

In The Line Up:  Sparky, Spinner, Jingles, Chevy, Sunny, Soupy, Kamikaze, Ogie , Doc, Sheep Dog, Matador, Tunzie,  Hurricane, Killer, Turk ,  Bulldog,  El Choppo, Lovie, Snowpants, Rocky, Cribzie, Hollywood, Stevo, Shack

On Injured Reserve:   Spanky, Rake,  Skippy, May Day,

Out of Line Up: Crow, Danish,  La Bamba,  Green Giant, Beep

Sitting in Press box:  Hicksee,

With the Bad Axe Bearcats, waiting to be called up:  

Captains for the Mini:     To Be Determined

The Skinny:   Last night of hockey for the 2015-16 season

Good Chance:   It’s a Mini!

Long Range Weather Forecast:   Oh – Oh, 17c and sunny, BBQ or Tomcat Hockey, we hope you make the right choice !

Low Down:      This is it, last night of hockey and then the golf clubs come out!

May 3: If you are planning on going to the Windsor Tomcat board of directors meeting, YOU MUST LET Stevo know. As it stands right now, the following are attending: Snowpants, Sparky, Rocky, Jingles, Razor, May Day and Stevo.  Stevo is ordering Pizza and stocking a cooler with beer, how much Pizza and how much beer depends on you.  ALSO the meeting at this very moment is at Stevo’s house, but that is subject to change, so if you let him know if you are going, he will provide you with the location of the ‘last minute’ meeting location.

June 17 is the Tomcat golf outing, look to Snowpants for updates, details and  announcements in regards to this incredible event.

You have the Masters, The U.S. Open, the Pantelon de Niege Golf Tournament, The Players and the British Open…in that order!

TOMCATS FOREVER

Hello and Goodby by Chase De Poosee

“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.”

Goethe

For the regular readers of this blog, you will notice there is no line up listed. Your intrepid reporter, doing what he does best, had it stolen from a bar after the game. The lineups were signed by Sparky, and I believe it was taken from me so it could be sold on the Internet. Not easy to get Sparky s signature, as he charges 1,000 dollars for it. No groupies next week for this reporter.

It was an old night of hockey, two teams, two full lines. “It started out fast and furious” said Killer. Goals were coming every minute or two as all pretense of defense was thrown out the window by both teams. “Everyone was trying to pad their stats, pretending they could score as many goals as Chevy. The goalies were left out to dry,” stated Beep.

The night featured a call up to play net and showcase his skills. “He’s called Terror, ” stated Snowpants’ “I know him from my days at St Angelas.” The Tomcats welcomed him after the game with a resounding rendition of the Tomcat anthem. ” That is a beautiful song” stated a weepy eyed Terror. ” To have it sung for me, wow, that’s something, I am speechless”.

Tomcat management will sit down in the summer to discuss a contract, here Stevo is explaining a few things to the Terror like….’ If you make full time you will be expected to being a 24 of MGD in bottles to a night of hockey’….and some other hockey related stuff”

Tears were also in the Tomcats eyes when Green Giant stood up to say he had officially signed a free agent contract with the Kawartha Mariners.” My year here has been special” bawled the Green Giant. ” You guys are the best and I will never forget this amazing year.” Rumour has it he will return to play in the tournament next year.
Last night was also the Tomcat playoff draft. Lovie did a fantastic job in organizing the event. “He has tremendous organizational skills “stated Soupy “He went and purchased top notch material and packaged it so even the most disorganized could make sense of it”. “I love doing this “stated Lovie. “Everyone thinks they have a chance winning when the draft is done, however, I know I will come out on top. I like taking Tomcats money, that’s why I organize it.”

Sticking with fantasy hockey, Lovie won the regular season pool with the Green Giant finishing second. Congratulations to both of them, but there is a rumour the Hurricane is appealing the second place finish by Green Giant. “We tied with the same points per game ratio of .83″ stated a bombastic Hurricane.” As Lovie did not produce a terms of conditions for this years pool, I am defaulting to the original terms from the first draft in 1998. Article 7, page six states that points per game is the determining factor in winning the pool and therefore second place prize money should be split between myself and Green Giant”. An appeal may be presented at the Board of Directors meeting.

Special thanks goes to both Lovie and Sheepdog for providing the Tomcats post game meal.

It is also noted that Kamikaze provided his initiation case of beer for attaining full time status.

A call goes out for volunteers to come early next week to assist Sparky in removing the empty beer cases from the locker room. If interested, just show up early. The more who help, the less the burden.
Thats it for now as I go Chase De Poosee.