May 31, 2021
By Chuck Fina
The Gordon’s Gin league returned to league play on May 31, 2021 after the most recent ridiculous lock down by Bubba Ford. Cribzee was his usual stylin’, profilin’ and limousine ridin’ self. His driver took up two parking spots for his car and Cribzee again was clearly the best dressed player on tour. “ I usually take three or four spots but I only bought 2 parking passes for the season”, said Cribzee.
Other players on hand were May Day, Stevo, Mr. Bundura, The Big Easy, Chevy, Sea Lion and Hatchie.
Chevy, Cribzee, Stevo and Mr. Bundura were in the first group and May Day, The Sea Lion, The Big Easy and Hatchie were in the second four some. Interestingly enough, the first group completed their round in 3 hours, 6 minutes ( with 2 guys walking) while the second group completed their round in 6 hours, 3 minutes with all players riding.
“I don’t like going 1 minute over a 4-hour round”, said Commissioner May Day. The league is encouraging players to pay their rounds within 4 hours.
After the round , May Day was looking for Stevo, who rode with May Day to the course so he could give Stevo a ride home. “ I actually picked Stevo up in Gesto. He decided to start walking back to Essex after his round was over”, said May Day. “ I should have left my clubs at May Day’s car. By the time I got to Gesto, I was going to start selling my clubs one at a time at the side of the road to make my golf bag lighter. But then May Day finally showed up and picked me up”, said Stevo. “ I was just glad I got home by the start of the third period”, said May Day.
Scores were May Day 105, Hatchie, 78, Big Easy 69, Sea Lion 72, Stevo 71, Mr. Bundura 72, Chevy 73, and Cribzee 75.
Be sure to text May Day by Wednesday at noon if you want in for the following Monday.
Meet Razor:
Your Favourite Athlete: Andre The Giant
Your favourite Golf ball: Penfold-type used by James Bond in the 1964 classic “Goldfinger”
Your favourite hockey player growing up: Yvan Cournoyer
Your favourite present day hockey player: Manon Rheaume
Your favourite bands: The Eagles, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, The Black Crows
Your favourite movies: The Falcon and the Snowman, Rocky, LaBamba
A highlight from High School: Inseminating the Home Ec. teacher
If you could do one thing for the Tomcats, what would you do: Clone Stevo
Your favourite Tomcat: The Rake (because we look so much alike)
Your Favourite Tomcat Moment: Singing ‘Happy Birthday Mr. President’ to Stevo.
One thing you would like other Tomcats to know about you: While I was singing to Steve, I was secretly hoping he would rip off my towel.
Meet Youngblood:
Your Favourite Golfer / Athlete: John Daly. I don’t know anything about golf, but I do know when it would be fun to have a beer with somebody.
Your favourite Golf ball (if you are a golfer) if not a golfer, your favourite sporting memory: The Golden Goal
Your favourite hockey player growing up: Steve Yzerman. Calm, objective, decisive.
Your favourite present day hockey player: Sidney Crosby. C’mon, even Brad Marchand likes him when he is winning Canada gold medals.
Your favourite band(s): Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, The White Stripes, Pink Floyd, The Pogues.
Your favourite movie(s): Moneyball, Rounders, Good Will Hunting
A highlight from High School: Semester of two spares, religion, and ‘earth science’.
If you could do one thing for the Tomcats, what would you do: Create an endowment to future-proof operations. Enough interest generated to fund 1 bonus case of beer a week. Though I hear the Tomcats are already well endowed enough…
Your favourite Tomcat: Stevo, Lovey, Sparky, too many to name. Grit, brotherhood, and loyalty. Story: about 5 years ago I was about to move. While having ‘Pops’ on stage, Lovey offers to help me move. Move! I mean, according to stand-up comedy there is no greater gift in male bonding. Of course, I gave my ‘thanks but no worries’ routine, but not because there was any trace of disingenuousness in the offer. It’s that selfless and generous kinship that one first benefits from then learns to give others, via the Tomcats.
Your Favourite Tomcat Moment: Stevo life advice on the stage. Never hurts to have an emergency $20 in your wallet. Truer words never spoken. Though, we should adjust for inflation.
One thing you would like other Tomcats to know about you: That I appreciate all the effort and long-term dedication put into the organization. Accomplishing something like the Tomcats requires an asymmetrical input of effort. The Tomcats are a Windsor gem. Truly a thread in the fabric of Canada’s culture. I wish I could be there more, but just knowing that the Tomcats are forever is solace enough. Would also help if I weren’t so out of shape that I got sick during every game.
Windsor Tomcats 