The absolute horror, shock and giddy excitement are just some of the emotions I went thru when I stumbled upon the ‘story of the year’. There I was; killing time as usual with the ‘lockdown’ by going for my daily walk to the mailbox. I opened the box and absently went thru all my ‘fan mail’ while also setting aside the ‘junk mail’.
Suddenly a piece of junk mail caught my eye. Low and behold I saw an expertly done product placement ‘endorsement’ from a ‘normal’ looking family. Problem is I RECOGNIZED this was no ‘normal’ family or mere mortal of a man; but a ‘stalwart’ ‘Tomcat’ player shamelessly ‘plugging’ this product. An investigation ‘had’ to be commenced.
My mind was racing – what was the player offered? Is there a NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement)? What contractual ‘request’ we’re made and full-filled to land such a celebrity? I also of course had to know if the players family received any ‘kickbacks’ or whether they received a heavy ‘discount’ on products offered.
I camped out for weeks and finally corned ‘Sheepdog’. When pressed I got the following statement:
Hey, like everyone else the Sheepdog has been hit financially hard by the lockdown. My contract with the Tomcats while exceptional just left me a little short. They came by as I was in the market for their stuff and they asked us all to pose and provide a good review. They said we just had that photogenic family look; and also commented how beautiful/photogenic ‘Mrs Sheepdog’ looked and how my daughters just looked like clean cut and classy young ladies. As Sheepdog loves everyone how could I refuse? I mean businesses are struggling right now too – right?
I figured I get a great deal as most people don’t have cash to upgrade their dog den like I do; and my investments with my Tomcat salary have really panned out – so I had the cash. I mean that steamed vagina machine stock I bought really took off!
Being a celebrity of course I wanted some stuff. I reached out to ‘Beep’; knowing how he’s in the financial business; and we drafted my ‘request’. I really played it up; I wanted a new Calloway Epic Max club; as Golf Digest recently rated it the best – Sheepdog was looking forward to bringing out a new weapon onto the Tomcats golf tourneys planned. I wanted 50 M&M’s too; but just the Yellow ones – just to be ‘that’ guy; I also asked for 40 cases of MGD – the ‘official’ beer of the Tomcats; so I could give a case to every player – cause the Sheepdog ‘loves all’ the Tomcats.
I also wanted to be photographed wearing my complete Tomcat wardrobe; but they ‘insisted’ on me wearing the golf shirt and hat. They said it made me more relatable; and they would have had to get the Tomcats Board of Directors to sign off on wearing my swag. I tried; guess with 25years plus the Tomcats logo and trademark are just too much cost for a company to use….they also insisted I wear Minny Mouse swag due to upcoming announcement between the Tomcats and Disney+ (stay tuned).
Look; I just took a great deal and now my fan mail has increased by double; my phone keeps blowing up for interviews and ‘Beep’ got me some kind of commission for every card placed in mailboxes. The Sheepdog’s life is good and I look forward to playing again real soon.
So there you have it. Apparently ‘Sheepdog’ ‘is’ the MOST marketable Tomcat; considering a ‘reputable’ company ‘endorsed’ his clean cut good old family man looks. Add his personality and trademark ’Sheepdog’ loves everyone demeanor and this guy will sell any reputable product.
While you’re wondering if you’ll be the ‘next’ Tomcat discovered by a local company; I noticed your Handzonmecac.
Yurri
Windsor Tomcats 